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View Full Version : Kiwi Journalist In Hi-Tech Toilet, Fetishistic, Bladerunner Tokyo


Mulboyne
06-03-2009, 12:48 PM
You wonder why this bloke even bothered to go to Tokyo given that he could have cobbled this piece together by surfing the net and never leaving his desk. I like the way he had to exaggerate his stories because he didn't know how to make his actual experiences sound interesting.

NZ Herald: Lost in big station - A Kiwi's Tokyo tale (http://www.nzherald.co.nz/travel/news/article.cfm?c_id=7&objectid=10576201)
Despite a six-hour delay on a flight bound for Tokyo, which had to be diverted to Nagoya because of bad weather, I resisted going to the toilet. True, it was my first time on board the A380 and I'm sure the loos would have been stratospheric, but I was determined to maximise my first Japanese toilet experience in a city that reputedly offers a foretaste of life in the next century. After struggling through customs and surviving a two-hour coach ride to the Tokyo district of Shinjuku, my first experience with the Super Loo didn't disappoint. What else can you do but marvel at technology which lets you sit on a warmed seat, flushes to the tune of Star Wars and has a mini joystick to help you control the temperature and direction of the high-velocity hot water when you've finished? But with only Japanese characters and pictograms in the toilet as an instruction guide, I felt like Bill Murray in Lost in Translation. Tokyo is a city of contradictions: from its suit-clad, conformist and ritualised appearance during the day, the city is transformed by night into a place of wild passions and weird hobbies.

Stepping out of the toilet and into the city, flashing neon-pachinko signs and the glittering lights in a labyrinth of shopping arcades, department stores, hotels and restaurants combine to make you feel like you're living inside a computer game. It's a game which comes complete with characters - young Japanese boys and girls who dress as goths or nurses and invalids, their hair dyed anything from jet-black to neon pink.

In a city where no one bats an eyelid at grown men and women walking around in Mickey and Minnie Mouse outfits, or clown costumes with pink wigs, I felt a little out of place in my jeans and white polo shirt. The back lanes are filled with Filipina hostess clubs and love hotels, and the operator of one tells me that couples are able to rent costumes and masks - ranging from Alice in Wonderland to Angelina Jolie - for their exploits. Not all these outfits are for foreign eyes, though, with some exhibiting "Japanese only" signs and engaging burly, sumo-sized bouncers to stop foreigners like me from getting in.

The sheer scale of Tokyo is equally hard for a New Zealander to grasp. One of the dumbest things I've done was to make an appointment to meet an old Japanese friend at the Shinjuku subway station. With more than 50 exits, Shinjuku station is no Britomart, and without my mobile phone it took me more than an hour to find that friend amid the two million bodies - half of New Zealand's population - that stream through its passageways every 24 hours.

Eating out is expensive, and a decent meal at one of Tokyo's many pan-Asian or Japanese restaurants can set you back anywhere between $40 to $100. But my Japanese friend told me that dining out the local way usually means eating at a noodle bar, where a bowl of ramen or udon costs barely $8. The downside is that you're expected to down the bowl of boiling noodle soup in five minutes, like the slurping Japanese, or face the wrath of both the noodle-seller and the queue of people outside.

But the most vivid memory I have of my time in Tokyo is the visit I made to a public bathhouse - one where I had been told the yakuza, or Japanese mafia, used to hang out. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that I would be in a situation where I would stand, stark-naked, in a room full of other strange naked men, all swimming, sweating and scrubbing in harmony. From its bullet trains to high-tech warehouses selling the latest gizmos, it would be hard for anyone to argue that Tokyo is a city for tomorrow, although some would argue that it is more a city for the day after tomorrow. And like a computer game where you get immersed in the quest to get to the next stage, the cutting-edge experiences that this Japanese city offers just make you want to come back for more.

BO-SENSEI
06-03-2009, 03:08 PM
Interesting little story about a person who has little knowledge of Japan and imagines Tokyo to be grander than it really is. But coming from New Zealand, I guess he has less to compare with than other. Don't get me wrong, Tokyo is a great city, but the way he describes it as the model of the future is bogus. But I guess living in Japan you start to get used to little things that make it different from other countries, and that gain the attention of those who are only in Japan for a few days.

IkemenTommy
06-03-2009, 04:48 PM
You wonder why this bloke even bothered to go to Tokyo given that he could have cobbled this piece together by surfing the net and never leaving his desk.
Yeah, we have a few of those on this forum too that have never set foot on Japan.

bigbambooba
06-03-2009, 05:13 PM
I`ve never set foot in New Zealand- I wonder if I would be amazed at seeing all the sheep and hobbits running around as I hear its just like Lord of the Rings down there. Anyway back on point-What a crap article!

ichigo partygirl
06-03-2009, 05:39 PM
But coming from New Zealand, I guess he has less to compare with than other.

I think the article is completely non original and boring but hey don't bag New Zealanders!
Not all of us live in grass huts. We recently got elevators in some buildings ;)

IkemenTommy
06-03-2009, 06:52 PM
Not all of us live in grass huts. We recently got elevators in some buildings ;)
You mean like a mine shaft elevator
http://www.fuckedgaijin.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=3398&stc=1&d=1244022765

ichigo partygirl
06-03-2009, 07:05 PM
I`ve never set foot in New Zealand- I wonder if I would be amazed at seeing all the sheep and hobbits running around as I hear its just like Lord of the Rings down there. Anyway back on point-What a crap article!

It is EXACTLY like LOTR - come and meet the orks will you?
You might run into Wolverine too ;)

BigInJapan
06-03-2009, 07:45 PM
You might run into Wolverine too ;)
I doubt that, he's a Canuck... (the Wolverine character supposedly comes from Canada). And another even stranger bit of trivia, Wolverine settled in Japan, where he married a Japanese woman named Itsu and had a son, Daken.
Who knew? Enough obscure comic references for today.

ichigo partygirl
06-03-2009, 09:20 PM
I doubt that, he's a Canuck... (the Wolverine character supposedly comes from Canada). And another even stranger bit of trivia, Wolverine settled in Japan, where he married a Japanese woman named Itsu and had a son, Daken.
Who knew? Enough obscure comic references for today.

yes but in the new Wolverine film "Canada" was actually New Zealand.
They filmed a few scenes 5mins drive from my place :)

You have as much chance running into Wolverine as you do Hobbits :D

Samurai_Jerk
06-03-2009, 11:02 PM
You wonder why this bloke even bothered to go to Tokyo given that he could have cobbled this piece together by surfing the net and never leaving his desk. I like the way he had to exaggerate his stories because he didn't know how to make his actual experiences sound interesting.

NZ Herald: Lost in big station - A Kiwi's Tokyo tale (http://www.nzherald.co.nz/travel/news/article.cfm?c_id=7&objectid=10576201)

I wonder if this bloke even bothered to go to Tokyo.

Schwarz
09-20-2009, 02:12 PM
You wonder why this bloke even bothered to go to Tokyo given that he could have cobbled this piece together by surfing the net and never leaving his desk. I like the way he had to exaggerate his stories because he didn't know how to make his actual experiences sound interesting.

NZ Herald: Lost in big station - A Kiwi's Tokyo tale (http://www.nzherald.co.nz/travel/news/article.cfm?c_id=7&objectid=10576201)

Is everyone from NZ born on a farm without electricity and running water, and told by his/her parents to play a big dumb*ss hick, or is it just me?

Taro Toporific
09-20-2009, 04:58 PM
NZ Herald: (http://www.nzherald.co.nz/travel/news/article.cfm?c_id=7&amp;objectid=10576201) Lost in big station - A Kiwi's Tokyo tale</a>
... (http://www.nzherald.co.nz/travel/news/article.cfm?c_id=7&amp;objectid=10576201)I had an appointment to meet an old Japanese friend at the Shinjuku subway station. With more than 50 exits, Shinjuku station is no Britomart... (http://www.nzherald.co.nz/travel/news/article.cfm?c_id=7&amp;objectid=10576201)

He could even copy Wiki correctly: There's 243+ exits to Shinjuku.

wrongturn
02-07-2010, 11:29 PM
Obviously this guy is a bit of a fn tool...there are a lot of retards in NZ but not everybody is as stupid as this prick. FFS!!?? "white polo shirt...most vivid memory a room full of other strange naked men, all swimming, sweating and scrubbing in harmony" What a fn TOOL!!! A 10 year old could write better shit than this!!

omae mona
02-08-2010, 09:01 PM
Obviously this guy is a bit of a fn tool...there are a lot of retards in NZ but not everybody is as stupid as this prick. FFS!!?? "white polo shirt...most vivid memory a room full of other strange naked men, all swimming, sweating and scrubbing in harmony" What a fn TOOL!!! A 10 year old could write better shit than this!!
Yes, but did you enjoy the article?

Ganma
02-08-2010, 09:43 PM
Yes, but did you enjoy the article?
He must have. Seems he joined FG especially to post about it.

Greji
02-09-2010, 11:13 AM
Yes, but did you enjoy the article?

Gave me a stiffy....
:cool: