Ask miniG!

[miniGaijin]

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Management has asked me (and I have so graciously accepted), to host this thread to help out you sorry ass wannabes.

Ask me anything at all, for example:

Pocari Sweat or Aquarius?
Yamanote or Chikatetsu?
Flooring or Tatami?
Can I use a regular phone card for international calls?
Do I really have to pay the NHK man?
Where can I download some good chaku-mero?
How do I get my Suica deposit back?
Are Calorie Mate bars healthy?
Where can I get some jumbo-sized condoms?
How do I remove the mosaic from a porno?
Where are some good massage parlors for foreign gents?
My bitch is cheating on me with my best friend and I want to rip that muthafuckas balls off!!!

...ok well, you get the idea.

[kamome]

What? You can remove the mosaic from porn? Tell me more!

[miniGaijin]

What? You can remove the mosaic from porn? Tell me more!

Sup, my pubic regionally starved brutha? There's 2 solutions:

1) Be born in a country with REAL porn.

2) Buy a mosaic remover in the backalleys of Akihabara (or order one from the ads in the back of every wack mag).

Of course, you could be arrested. (http://www.mainichi.co.jp/english/news/archive/200003/31/news06.html)

Dealing a savage blow to freedom of expression, an Osaka court Thursday outlawed the sale over the Internet of software that removes the digital mosaic concealing private parts in pornographic images.


...A sad day indeed.

[kamome]

Well, the article says that the SELLER of such technology was found liable by the court. I wonder if buyers of such mosaic removal technology are equally subject to penalties.

[Anonymous]

An old Japanese guy told me if you squint your eyes hard enough you get to see the real deal.........I suppose he was "jerkin the gherkin" when he made his discovery.

[miniGaijin]

Well, kiddies, here's your Japanese lesson for today:

Some articles on the science of mosaic-ology, here (http://www.hirax.net/dekirukana4/mosaic2/index.html), here (http://www.hirax.net/dekirukana3/mosaic/index.html), and here (http://www.exp.org/mosaic/mosaic.html). When you've finished studying up, invest in equipment to conduct your own "research", here (http://www3.famille.ne.jp/~hayato/sell_mozaiku.html), here (http://village.infoweb.ne.jp/~fwhs4176/adult/jyokyo.htm) and here (http://www.wakonet.com/jdensi/mozaic.html).

And why haven't you slackers voted yet? (http://www.fuckedgaijin.com/forums/showthread.php?t=40) Too busy wackin'?

[cstaylor]

... how do I get my Suica deposit back? :?

[miniGaijin]

The answer to that one will cost you 500 Yen, my friend.

[cstaylor]

The answer to that one will cost you 500 Yen, my friend.
Let's see here... adding up the cost of my Suica card... my deposit comes out to... 500JPY.

I think miniG's collecting enough cards for a free Soapland trip. :lol:

[tokyojoe]

miniG, I have a couple questions!

1. What the hell are calorie mates made out of? taste like cardboard.
2. Do you do hampster style?

[miniGaijin]

1. Wheat flour, margarine, sugar, butter, natural cheese, egg, almond, nonfat milk sodium caseinate, soybean protein, wheat protein, salt, flavors, and magnesium carbonate.

http://www.otsuka.co.jp/annai/wajiki/oven.jpg (http://www.otsuka.co.jp/annai/wajiki/mateline.htm)

The "Calorie Mate" promotional sticker for Lauryn Hill's 1st single:

http://edge.pccnet.co.jp/gan/file/calorie.jpg (http://edge.pccnet.co.jp/gan/file/promotion.htm)

2. A lot of young punks use hamster style because they think it’s a good gimmick - but I'm old skool. And actually, you should ask kamome, since he's the Mix Master. I'm just the dancing midget.

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[Anonymous]

Hi, I'm a newcomer to 'F*cked Gaijin', but I've been checking out the site for the past coupla weeks and I really respect everyone who's administrating it....it's a great source of info for F*cked Gaijin. Anyways, I want to know how or where I should begin to find a gym (kin-niku training no bashou) in Japan.

I'm currently stateside, but I've been to Japan before (briefly) and I'm planning to go to school in Tokyo in about a year. Last summer I visited a few universities in Tokyo, but the only place with anything at all was Jochi daigaku (sophia), and all they had was a lonely excercise bike in a small room....it's not exactly what I was looking for.

Any recommendations on this would be greatly appreciated...I'm trying to get my schmidt together early so I don't freak out when I finally get to Japan!! :)

[Anonymous]

MiniG is in da house. I should have asked you direct instead of starting my own thread. Does Naked Sushi really exist? I am keen to east some sushi off a beautiful naked lady in Tokyo. Help me please.

[miniGaijin]

Sorry, FGs. I was gonna answer your weak-ass questions, but then I got high (http://atomfilms.shockwave.com/af/content/afroman?mature=accept).

[cstaylor]

That fuckin' guy. He made this flick "Sixteen Candles." Not bad.
There's tits in it, but no bush, but Ebert over here don't give a shit about
that kind of thing 'cause he's, like, all in love with this John Hughes guy.
He goes out and rents, like, every one of his movies. Fuckin' "Breakfast
Club," where all these stupid kids actually show up for detention.
Fuckin' "Weird Science," where this chick wants to take her gear off and
get down, but oh no, she don't 'cause it's a PG movie. And then, "Pretty in
Pink," which I can't even watch with this tubby bitch anymore, 'cause
every time we get to the part where the redhead hooks up with her
dream guy, he starts sobbin' like a little bitch with a skinned knee and shit.

More here... (http://www.whysanity.net/monos/dogma4.html)

[General Echo]

Mini G,
I really want to go work and hang out in Japan. Seeing as i don't have a degree i will most probably get a working holiday visa. My question is how easy is it to work more than the visa allows (ie i want to be working fulltime). Do you think it's easy enough to find enough work (teaching?)without a degree and will i get caught out?

[miniGaijin]

Don't ask, don't tell. I may be loco, but I'm not gonna tell you to do illegal shit. I'll leave that to the otha Fuckaz. All I can say is, I might know a bitch who knows a bitch who didn't get caught.

Look what I found with the Search (http://www.fuckedgaijin.com/forum/search.php):

student visa and under the table work (http://www.fuckedgaijin.com/forums/showthread.php?t=287)

What's the best way... (Working Holiday!) (http://www.fuckedgaijin.com/forums/showthread.php?t=373)

[Anonymous]

You dont need a degree to get a working holiday. If you can find a company that will hire you without a degree then you can work no problem if you have the visa. Its only a WORKING visa that you need the degree for. I did working holiday and did suffer a lot of age discrimination and had to learn the hard way that there are some dishonest people out there, but after a few months I got a good job and spent the rest of my stay really enjoying Japan.

[Blah Pete]

Do those penis enlargement pills advertised on porn websites really work?

Need help as I am , short, fat , and bald. Sometimes think I got 6 fingers on my right hand when whackin off.

[miniGaijin]

Do those penis enlargement pills advertised on porn websites really work?

Need help as I am , short, fat , and bald. Sometimes think I got 6 fingers on my right hand when whackin off.
You drag my ass outta semi-retirement for this shizzat? No mojitos for j00.

Short answer to your question: NO DUMBASS. I don't have any first hand experience, since my shorts already have a hard time containing my mastadonic cock. Anyway, Mix Master K told me he tried just about every pill in the book, but none of em did much to augment his modest member (they did increase nipple sensitivity though). I think he had more luck injecting common household Vaseline (http://www.cosmiverse.com/news/beaten/beaten05280201.html).

You also might try the Nick Nolte method of date rape drugging yourself (http://www.canoe.ca/JamMovies/oct23_nolte-ap.html) to make you more attractive to yourself.

Now leave me alone.

[kamome]

Anyway, Mix Master K told me he tried just about every pill in the book, but none of em did much to augment his modest member (they did increase nipple sensitivity though). I think he had more luck injecting common household Vaseline (http://www.cosmiverse.com/news/beaten/beaten05280201.html).


Hey mini, those were penis REDUCTION pills I tried. You know, like overendowed women sometimes need a breast reduction?

Always double-check your facts, mini-G, always.

[Anonymous]

Do I really have to pay the NHK guy?

[Taro Toporific]

Do I really have to pay the NHK guy?

NOPE.
In the past 20 years, I've never have paid and never will for NHK's flacid-agitprop. I've got three TVs, two sat dishes and cable.

It is not compulsory to pay the NHK-fee, unlike in many other Euro-joke countries. Many many Japanese do not pay the NHK-fee . Just say NO.

Actually, after NHK was privatized a while back, the fee by NHK is no longer "required" (actually it has always been voluntary). You just refuse to pay and tell them you know you are not required to pay the fee .

They cannot arrest you for non-payment and they cannot garnishee your wages so just tell them that you "don't watch crappy NHK", and don't be intimidated.

NHK guys can be pretty insistent, but stick to your guns and they'll stop coming around after a few years. 8)

Refer to this thread for more whining about:
http://www.japantoday.com/gidx/popvox60.html

[Anonymous]

There`s a Tokyo urban legend about a gaijin who greeted the NHK guy by answering the door butt naked saying `sabishiiiii.....` 8O

[Taro Toporific]

There`s a Tokyo urban legend about a gaijin who greeted the NHK guy by answering the door butt naked saying `sabishiiiii.....` 8O


Hey, that's me!
To quote David Spector's standard autograph he gives out in Japan: "I'm a legend in my own pants." Speaking of 'urban legends', I've got one for ya...

Actually, once when the NHK guy knocked, I have answered the door in French. Without a blink or hitch, the NHK guy switched from English to French. Then I switched to my childish kitchen German and the NHK switched to odd Junkereque German. I laughed and switched to piss-poor Chinese and he switched to quite good Hakkenese (obviously, he once was a Taiwan overlord). So I pulled out some textbook Farsi on him and he answered in bookish Arabic. We just ending up laughing... and he didn't bother to come back. Erik Lumberjack would have been proud.

[GomiGirl]

Way back in the early days....

The time Mr NHK bill collector knocked on my door early one morning, I didn't know what was happening. I foolishly let him in and he found the TV, checked the remote and found that I was able to see BS1 and BS2, and demanded payment on the spot.

He then asked for my bank book and wrote down the details for a monthly autodebit and didn't really give me any options.

He was extremely pushy and basically said that this was the law and I would get in big trouble if I didn't comply with everything he said.. being a good little girl (and very sleepy) I paid him cash then and there.

However, when I got to the office, my secretary fell on the floor laughing at me saying that NO-ONE falls for the NHK man spiel as there is absolutely nothing that they can do to enforce payment which is why they try to get everything on the spot. So she called NHK, complained that the man was so rude and pushy and explained that as I was living in a company apartment that lil ol' me was not liable for the costs and that they had to refund the money I had paid on the spot and cancel the monthly debit.

I haven't paid anything since and neither have my company.

Are NHK men thought of like traffic wardens are thought of in other countries? :roll:

[GomiGirl]

In addition:

NHK actually did refund the cash. It took a few weeks and I had to go to the post office to get it but I got it nonetheless. :lol: :lol:

My secretary can be pretty scarey at times as well.. she is absolutely amazing on the phone and will get what she wants everytime and the people are happy to comply.. I often thank my lucky stars that she is on my side... 8O

[jotty]

After being harrassed by Asahi Shimbun Guys week after week, my former roomie stomped out of the bathroom to inform the guy (my japanese was pathetic at the time) that as far as she and i were concerned, "Shinbun IRANAIYO!". She was wearing only a bra on top at the time, and she was as surprised to see that the shinbun man was young and half cute as he was surprised to see her nearly topless!!!! But still, he didnt come back. No, it was another guy the next week......

[cstaylor]

Oh great seer of truth, tell me, are Gai and Azn one and the same person?

[Anonymous]

I thought that gai and kamone were the same person!

[gomichild]

Oh great seer of truth, tell me, are Gai and Azn one and the same person?
Dude your seer of truth ain't posted since April last year...

[cstaylor]

Dude your seer of truth ain't posted since April last year...
Shhhhh! Don't anger the pint-sized God of all-knowing wisdom. :wink:

[kamome]

I thought that gai and kamone were the same person!

No, we defintely are not.

[Taro Toporific]

...dismissal "without objectively rational reasons and not in line with accepted social customs"
...[Gee. Oxymoronicallylly speaking, JAPANESE "objectively rational reasons" could mean anything so your boss should be happy.

...FGs, get out of your Japanese company while you can! Or they will dismiss you with impunity as soon as it is convenient for them to do so... :?


Oh great Mini G, I getting reamed by my J-company, Maybe-the Largest Inc., what shall I do?

Do you think it is proper Japanese businesses etiquette (http://www.google.com/search?num=100&hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&newwindow=1&safe=off&edition=&scoring=d&q=Japanese+businesses+etiquette&spell=1)to ask them to switch from Tiger Balm to KY Jelly?

[kamome]

Perhaps the great mini-G would respond: "Get the f--- out of there and pursue a happier life with an American/European company." That's what I did, and I am much happier for it.

[Gaisaradatsuraku!]

Perhaps the great mini-G would respond: "Get the f--- out of there and pursue a happier life with an American/European company." That's what I did, and I am much happier for it.

I thought you said you were with Deloitte?

[Gaisaradatsuraku!]

Who is MiniG. Is this character meant to represent the size of Mercutio's kintamas after all that steroid usage? MiniG is short for MiniGintama?

[NeoNecroNomiCron]

Brotha step up tell me where ther's a happen’n Manga Kissa in 高田馬場　（たかだのばば）　Station.

[Caustic Saint]

MiniG's been silent for nearly a year. Is the time of his ressurection at hand?

[Taro Toporific]

MiniG's been silent for nearly a year. Is the time of his ressurection at hand?
Idohknow. LET'S ASK Mini-G! :wink:

[kotatsuneko]

dear mini G

how can i find a friend who really isnt just after free english lessons, wont try and mess up my relationship, and wont say things like "lets go to starbucks" (or some other place that costs money) when i just wanna hang out in the park or near the river or something?

tosses coin into box after cleansing self properly... you know the 4 stage thing..

[bejiita]

how can i find a friend who really isnt just after free english lessons, wont try and mess up my relationship, and wont say things like "lets go to starbucks" (or some other place that costs money) when i just wanna hang out in the park or near the river or something?

I seem to be channeling Mini-G at the moment and he says "Inu!" Short and sweet just like Mini-G. :lol:

[Taro Toporific]

Management has asked me (and I have so graciously accepted), to host this thread to help out you sorry ass wannabes.


Why do several of your posts start out with GETS -is this something culturall


GET'S (sic) is the new "let's" in Japanese advertisments.
New hotness: GET'S ENGLISH HAPPY!(tm)
Old-n-Busted: LET'S NOVA!(tm)

Ok, FGs, give us your best "GET'S"!

http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:gJNL0eGzc4UJ:www.getrealenglish.com/About/images/packshot.gif

[bejiita]

Your pikuchaa Gets Mine (http://www.kissjapan.com/gaijin_gaijin/)!

[Taro Toporific]

Your pikuchaa Gets Mine (http://www.kissjapan.com/gaijin_gaijin/)!

I've heard "LET"S GET"S" on Japanese TV. However, I just found this let's gets on Mt. Blanc: "Top of Lets Gets " (http://www.clagnut.com/photos/holidays/morzine2003/135/). :wink:
http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:Wk1f48JgalsJ:www.clagnut.com/photos/big/135.jpg

[Taro Toporific]

http://www.fuckedgaijin.com/images/askminig.gif

Management has asked me (and I have so graciously accepted), to host this thread to help out you sorry ass wannabes.

Ask me anything at all, for example:
Pocari Sweat or Aquarius?
Yamanote or Chikatetsu?
Flooring or Tatami?
...ok well, you get the idea.



Are you involved with this?

Movie seeking mini-geisha
Asian girls age 9 to 11 are invited to audition for the role of young Sayuri, the lead character in the movie "Memoirs of a Geisha."

An open casting call is set for 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. Saturday at Anna Fishburn Casting, 1121 Nuuanu Ave., Suite 200, above Indigo Restaurant downtown. Girls who have kimonos are asked to wear them.

The agency requests no phone calls.

http://starbulletin.com/2004/08/25/news/story6.html

http://img38.exs.cx/img38/1787/108312948KruXnk_ph.jpg
http://community.webshots.com/photo/108291638/108312948KruXnk

[kamome]

Are you involved with this?

[quote=Honolulu Star-Bulletin ]Movie seeking mini-geisha



:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[GridReaper]

Movie seeking mini-geisha


LOL, that's just outside my office today. I'll try to get some pix of the auditioners :lol: