Just wondering how many of you have children? How many of you have horror stories of raising kids in Japan?

You are asking this technology question because?????

2 sons.

Hey mercutio, Now is the time for you to come clean!

Two sons. Raised in Japan until teenagers - moved to England with their mother Tough couple of years at first but after that totally bi-lingual and bi cultural. Now two smart guys with great jobs.

I make lots of half kids daily.. LOL

But no children here.. too expensive to maintain at the moment.

No kids but divorced from a J bloke.

Anyone else divorced from a Japanese personage?

no kids, just practicing

The reason I asked and sorry Cliffy if I put this in the incorrect category was the hell that my wife and I are going through with our kids in junior high. Perhaps because we live in the sticks, Aomori-ken, things are different but its unbelievable the influence the school has on the kids. Not only the teachers but also their sports clubs etc. Case in point, last weekend was the chu-tai-ren, which is the city junior high athletic meet. Not only did the kids practice day and night getting ready for it, some teachers and parents felt extra early morning training was necessary, hence the alarmn clock set at 5:30am to wake the kids up to get in an extra hour or two before studying. Then the day before the meet, this father, who as far as I can tell has no training or coaching experience, pulls all the kids aside and tells them not to take a bath, only sleep 6 hours at night, don't clip your nails, and only eat Japanese food. I know it sounds laughable but its true. Then the daughter comes home and feels she has to follow what she is told, while my wife and I tell her to do whatever she wants. Its crazy! And this is just the tip of the iceburg, I could go on.
So I wonder Steve how did you put up with it, or are things different in other parts of the country.

One rather mischievous 5 year old boy.

As for problems, if you live in a neighborhood with a lot of children discrimination will not be so much of a problem, but I suspect elementary school is another matter.

Sorry canman, can't help you.
I've got a fresh one (six weeks), and unless things change I'm planning on running at school age. Out of the country with family that is. School is the biggest dread I have for the future here.
Hearing stories like yours and kids dropping like flies from not drinking water do not help.

Kids, they are Ok. I suppose.

Personally I can't eat a full one.

canman1 wrote:The reason I asked and sorry Cliffy if I put this in the incorrect category was the hell that my wife and I are going through with our kids in junior high.
...
So I wonder Steve how did you put up with it, or are things different in other parts of the country.

I'm not even married, but I have thought about what I would do, and I've come up with this basic plan.

I think Japanese grade schools are great for the most part. So I would have no problem sending my kids to a Japanese grade school.

Things in Japanese education start getting weird around chuugakko. That's when you start getting all that sempai-kouhai bullshit, as well as ijime, which we have all over the world, but in Japan has a special flavor all it's own. Koukou is the same deal.

So essentially my plan, if I were to have kids, would be to make sure that they were out of the public Japanese schools for middle/high school, because that's when the weirdness sets in, in my opinion. I'd bring them back to the US, etc.

Since you are in the sticks, I'm assuming that there are no "international schools" to send your kids to, right? That's the other, very expensive, option here in Japan.

I think Japanese grade schools are great for the most part. So I would have no problem sending my kids to a Japanese grade school.

Why do you think that? I think a lot of weird creepy shit goes. Not saying it's better or worse than America but ...

gkanai wrote:.... I would have no problem sending my kids to a Japanese grade school.
Things in Japanese education start getting weird around chuugakko....make sure that they were out of the public Japanese schools for middle/high school, because that's when the weirdness sets in, in my opinion. I'd bring them back to the US, etc..

Yeah, that's the plan gkanai!
Have they learn the hugely valuable skill--reading and writing Japanese--- for free the right way. Besides, most likely your kids would big like you so they could kick butt in school. :P

That's the general plan. No clue if it will happen, but suffice it to say I have considered it.

I actually had the chance to be in school in Japan for 2 months in chuu ichi and even though it was a private school in Kobe, it had all of the hallmarks of the negative aspects of Japanese education. After having had that experience first-hand, I would not want my own children to endure that.

I agree with you 100% the education in elementary school was pretty god, no major problems, and the weirdness did start in junion high. But you mentioned taking your kids out of the ssystem and back to the states, but my wife and I are settled here, we have a house I have a company, I just can't pull up stakes and head back to Canada. And you are right there are no int'l schools anywhere near here, and I sometimes wonder how good those are anyway. The worst thing is that my kids know from their cousins in Canada that things aren't like this everywhere in the world. Others live in blissfull ignorance thinking that it is usual to have no holidays, to have to shave your head because one member of your soccer team was caught smoking.

I'm gonna be so bold as to offer up a piece advice. You've probably already thought all this out but I'm gonna go ahead and say it anyway.

When your kids are in a kind of 'shoganai' (can't be helped) situation be sure that your own personal irritations with J-stupidity isn't too apparent to your kids. If you think it's stupid that your kid has to shave his head but your kid has to shave his head , don't let on that you don't agree with the Japanese way. Because your kid has to shave his head anyway. But if he sees from your reaction how fucking retarded that really is he's really gonna come across like a gaijin about it and be an even bigger target for bullying. Try not to let on too much that you favor the Canadian way of doing things, I mean, since you're stuck here. I'm not trying to say you should keep your Canadian identity from your kids. Just be sure that even if you don't have a positive attitude about Japan (and I can understand that! lol) that you don't pass that negativity on to your kids. Cause if your kids come across even slightly anti-Japanesse, even on just a subliminal level, they're gonna get hammered. Sorry if I'm over-stepping here but that's my two cents.

BTW, I still would like to read some more detailed or specific reasons why yall have such positive attitudes about the elementary schools. I tend to think they're fucked.

Asskissinger, I always appreciate others opinions, and it is a good one. I can see that sometimes my frustration with the system becomes a problem for the kids. I can't understand why, and when I question it, they too then degin to wonder why. My wife then has to try and settle me down and get the kids to accept it. Which I wish they didn't have to but T.I.J. About elementary school, as far as I can tell it was fairly relaxed at least up here. My kids didn't have to join any club so they were free to come home after school. During summer vacations they were somtimes absent so we could get the cheaper airfares. The teachers were really easygoing about it. Of course there were the sports days and the music festivals and such. But all in all, I didn't think they were that bad. Some of the teachers were genuinely interested in having a student with a foreign parent in the class. I was often invited to the school to talk about Canada, and join in on certain events. To this day kids come up to me, who I have no idea who they are and say hi Michael, freeks the hell out of me most of the time.
But junior high that is another world all together. The teachers are gods in their on small world. The students never question what they say, only obey, or be labled a yankee or a loser. And I figure high school will only get worse.

Err dumb question probably. As the school system in Australia is different and I'm not a teacher, what's the year levels of elementary, junior high etc. here? Prep, 1 to year six (around 12 years old) elementary, Junior (years 7 - 9)?
Similar to AK, but probably for a different reason, I would like to here some positive stories, because I pretty turned off by the whole thing at the moment.

If you think it's stupid that your kid has to shave his head but your kid has to shave his head , don't let on that you don't agree with the Japanese way. Because your kid has to shave his head anyway. But if he sees from your reaction how fucking retarded that really is he's really gonna come across like a gaijin about it and be an even bigger target for bullying.

asskissinger, that was some damn good advice dude.

I have a 1 yr old daughter and one on the way so the question of what the f to do is high on my list. The in-laws liove next door so Japanese will be her first language with some English at home thrown in. can`t help that. Anyway, I figure that a couple of years here and then home with visits back regularly will be good for all concerned.
School for the kids is the main concern, and I belive that the further removed from the Japanese style of teaching the better. OK that sounds rascist but it seems that to progress as an individual and have a chance to establish original thoughts are more important than the rigidity of what I see everyday.
The influence of older generations impact too harshly in the critical learning stages of a child`s life. I want what is best, and it`s not here, as far as I can see.
I live away from the big cities so cannot enrol her in an international school. I realise that elementary school is a lot more forgiving but after teaching kids for a few years it is obvious that things are amiss in the Japanese education system.
Any thoughts and advice?

This poll started on 22nd June, the next day 23rd June I had a precious darling (soon to be FG baby) Still a long way to go, but hopefully I am out of here by his schooling time...

tinateoh wrote:This poll started on 22nd June, the next day 23rd June I had a precious darling (soon to be FG baby) Still a long way to go, but hopefully I am out of here by his schooling time...

Congrats Tina.. Going to post some photos???

Thanks.. yes..will post some photos later.

Congratulations, Tina!

Cograts Tina. Fill out those papers quick.

Congratulations Tina!

As for educating the kids - I've just starting working with an interesting school
montessori school of japan unfortunately they only have one campus near Hiroo so far but I like their philosophy...

Cuz I probably have a few hapas running around Osaka right now. Not confirmed but it's possible.
I'm just sayin.

3 Children 17, 10 and 5. Kind of tough on the pocketbook though.