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  • fuckedgaijin ‹ General ‹ Gaijin Ghetto

Critic's Corner: Capsule Reviews by OKLAHOMA, the Kiwi Chysanthemum Kisser

Groovin' in the Gaijin Gulag
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Critic's Corner: Capsule Reviews by OKLAHOMA, the Kiwi Chysanthemum Kisser

Postby Catoneinutica » Wed May 13, 2009 9:44 pm

Omoikiri Terebi hosted by Mino Monta (weekdays, noon)

OKLAHOMA says: When it comes to daytime entertainment, Mino Monta can do anything he wanta!

Drop, Shinagawa Hiroshi (now playing in theaters)

OKLAHOMA says: These bad boys can drop by my place anytime! Though I have a feeling a little golden bad boy named Oscar might be dropping by their place!
"If there's a river, we'll dam it, and if there's a tree, we'll ram it - 'cause we Japanese are talkin' progress!"
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Postby Catoneinutica » Fri May 15, 2009 6:53 pm

Oyaji Death Breath, starring the vast majority of Japanese men between the ages of 40 and 65

OKLAHAMA says: That's the smell of hard work, son - hard work and victory! And I love the smell of victory in the morning!
"If there's a river, we'll dam it, and if there's a tree, we'll ram it - 'cause we Japanese are talkin' progress!"
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Postby Catoneinutica » Sun May 17, 2009 10:19 am

The Prime Minister of Japan, starring Aso Taro

OKLAHOMA says: Testicals + Spectacular = Testacular!
"If there's a river, we'll dam it, and if there's a tree, we'll ram it - 'cause we Japanese are talkin' progress!"
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Postby Catoneinutica » Sun May 17, 2009 11:27 am

This Is the One, Utada Hikaru (Island, US import)

OKLAHOMA says: Memo to American gaijin: Obama ain't the one. There can be only one The One, and Hikki is it! Her soulful stylings are catching ears on both sides of the Pacific, doubtless including the ears of a certain Mr. Grammy!
"If there's a river, we'll dam it, and if there's a tree, we'll ram it - 'cause we Japanese are talkin' progress!"
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Postby sublight » Sun May 17, 2009 9:57 pm

Catoneinutica wrote:OKLAHOMA says: When it comes to daytime entertainment, Mino Monta can do anything he wants!


And unfortunately, that's exactly what he does, which is why so much J-TV stinks.
I have a blog. Last update: August 18, 2013.
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Postby Catoneinutica » Mon May 18, 2009 2:33 pm

Yoshinoya, outlets across Japan (and the world!)

OKAHOMA says: Attention all one-coin salarymen! Wife's got you on a daily allowance of 500 yen? Not only will Yoshinoya will fill your belly with tasty gyudon, you'll have enough left over for a stop at the 99-yen shop on the way home. Now that's the good life, Japanese style!
"If there's a river, we'll dam it, and if there's a tree, we'll ram it - 'cause we Japanese are talkin' progress!"
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Postby Catoneinutica » Fri May 22, 2009 3:51 pm

Maruzen, locations across Japan

OKLAHOMA says: Sure, prices are at least twenty percent more than the price printed on the bookcover, but, hey, you get what you pay for! And when I go to Maruzen, I enjoy a bookstore that's clean, well-lit, heated in the winter, and air-conditioned in the winter! Plus: the Maruzen Point Card! And if that isn't enough, they'll even make a paper cover for your book!
"If there's a river, we'll dam it, and if there's a tree, we'll ram it - 'cause we Japanese are talkin' progress!"
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Postby Catoneinutica » Wed May 27, 2009 8:06 pm

Paul de Vries, starring Paul de Vries

OKLAHOMA says: "And God Created Woman?! Sorry, Bridgitte Bardot, but He saved his best for later: Paul de Vries, whom I'm proud to call a fellow member of my ANZAC 'group'! Paul, you're welcome to spend time in my foxhole whenever duty - or booty! - calls!"
"If there's a river, we'll dam it, and if there's a tree, we'll ram it - 'cause we Japanese are talkin' progress!"
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Postby Greji » Thu May 28, 2009 3:29 pm

Catoneinutica wrote:Paul de Vries, starring Paul de Vries

OKLAHOMA says: "And God Created Woman?! Sorry, Bridgitte Bardot, but He saved his best for later: Paul de Vries, whom I'm proud to call a fellow member of my ANZAC 'group'! Paul, you're welcome to spend time in my foxhole whenever duty - or booty! - calls!"


Sorry Catoneinutica, but I forget easily. Who's OKLAHOMA?
:cool:
"There are those that learn by reading. Then a few who learn by observation. The rest have to piss on an electric fence and find out for themselves!"- Will Rogers
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Postby Catoneinutica » Mon Jun 01, 2009 6:20 pm

Za Naminori Resutoran, starring The Southern All Stars

Special Guest Reviewer: Paul de Vries, the Aussie Alternate-Reality Dweller

Paul de Vries says: No vegemite on the menu, mate, just a generous portion of SAS-sy and savoury Southern All Stars! This is one restaurant that proudly sports the "Ingredients Made in Japan" seal of approval!
"If there's a river, we'll dam it, and if there's a tree, we'll ram it - 'cause we Japanese are talkin' progress!"
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Postby Catoneinutica » Thu Jun 11, 2009 3:34 pm

Toshikazu Sugaya, wrongly convicted of the murder of a four-year-old child and recently released after 17 years' imprisonment

Special Guest Reviewer: Paul de Vries, the Aussie Alternate-Reality Dweller

Paul de Vries says: "I feel for ya, mate, but, as the seppos say, sometimes you've got to take one for the team. In fact, my manager at GABA, Jackie, was telling me the same thing this morning after they cut our clothing allowance."
"If there's a river, we'll dam it, and if there's a tree, we'll ram it - 'cause we Japanese are talkin' progress!"
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