I one of the more pointless things I have ever been forced to do since I moved here, I had to go on safety night patrol.
During the summer, Matsuyama has a night festival every Saturday in its main arcade. As this tends to attract gangs, as well as families, a large police presence is required. The PTA somehow managed to get involved and I got volunteered to go on patrol with the Guardian Angels. I must confess it sounded like a way to have fun - I could patrol the bars looking for underage drinkers and my wife wouldn't have any right to complain. But it was not to be. Japanese really know how to kill a potentially fun situation.
We were supposed to meet in a fair sized hall just off the main arcade at 9:30 hall just off the main arcade at 9:30. I showed up around 10:00 and they were still yammering on about our duties and introducing people who no one cared about.
Finally, at 10:30 they give us our offical 'Night Patrol' green sashes, but disappointingly no batons or handcuffs. The sashes looked pretty stupid but I think it is all a matter of attitude. To me they said 'Hey Punk this sash gives me authority'.
We were than sent to the end of the arcade to.....wait. We sat around there for about an hour watching the cop confront various car customizers and pretty girls in short skirts. I was chomping at the bit to get in on the action. Finally, about 11:15 the powers that be came around and handed us some garbage bags. It was than that the sinking feeling hit me. This was a fucking garbage patrol. We spend a half an hour walking around a department store picking up cigarette butts. I hung around at the back of the group so I didn't have to pick up anything. At about 12:00 we finished and had to in our sashes and garbage bags in go on our merry way.
I have no idea what the point of the exercise was and why the.PTA was involved.
