You've Been In Japan Too Long When...

[Rob Pongi]

You've Been In Japan Too Long When...

...you notice you've forgotten how to tie shoelaces.

...you find yourself bowing while you talk on the phone.
.
...you think US$17 isn't such a bad price for a new paperback.
.
...you don't hesitate to put a $10 note into a vending machine.

...you have trouble figuring out how many syllables there really are in words like 'building'.
.
...when the first option you buy for your car is a TV set.

...you don't think it unusual for a truck to play "It's a Small World" when backing up.
.
...you really enjoy corn soup with your Big Mac.

...you think every foreign movie title contains the word 'love.'

...you appear for your first skiing lesson with brand new Rossignol high performance racing skis and an aerodynamic racing suit with color matched goggles. And then snowplow down.

...you are not surprised to wake up in the morning and find that the woman who stayed over last night has completely cleaned your apartment, even though you'll probably never ever meet her again.

...when you find nothing unusual in a television commercial for candy in which a model dressed in a high school girl's uniform comes up behind another model dressed in a high school girl's uniform, grabs her left breast, gives a devilish grin, and skips away.

...when you start appearing on a nationwide Prime Time LIVE TV Show every Friday night, the ratings skyrocket and then you become a 'GAIJIN IDOL'

Well that's all for today.

Thank you. Yes!

BYE!

Rob Pongi

http://www.RobPongi.com
http://www.TokyoDV.com

[ultragaijin]

"shoo-race" te nan da?

The real question is, do you dream in Japanese? I mean, that's just got to be unhealthy for your brain.

(BTW, I have the feeling we might have to start a new policy of limiting sigs to 800 billion lines... )

Keep this thread going! C'mon everybody pitch in a few...

[hen na gaijin]

been in Japan to long when;

Knife and fork look like surgical instruments.

Japanese people ask YOU for directions, AND you can give it to them.

You think "Hen na Ojisan" is funny.

You consider "Food Fighter Challenge" the most brilliant piece of electronic media EVER concieved.

You rise to the coverted title of "Gaijin-san" instead of plain "gaijin".

You can't remember exactly where your originally from, and don't really care either.

You start to enjoy Japanese music (WARNING THIS IS THE FIRST SIGN OF SERIOUS MADNESS!)

You see a group of gaijin women, take one sniff and think your at Tsukiji market.

You have "Fucked Gaijin" set on your computer as home page.

You cross the road when you see another gaijin walking your way.

You wake up in a cold sweat screaming "I'm A, your B," or "Please repeat after me!"

You walk into a supermarket, walk around for an hour in the seafood section, then suddenly lose your appetite, and make a hasty exit without purchasing anything.

[Harvey]

Must..... have...... green........ tea!

[ultragaijin]

hen, ROFLMAO. You're killing me! Do you actually have FG as your home page? You ROCK!

[Rob Pongi]

You've Been In Japan Too Long When...

...you think the opposite of red is white.
...you leave your expensive bottle of Royal Salute with a sleazy barkeeper and don't worry.
...you can listen to the ads in FEN without falling around the floor laughing.
...you pore over the jikokuhyo looking for ways to avoid riding the Shinkansen.
...you buy a potato-and-strawberry sandwich for lunch without cringing.
...you phone an English-speaking gaijin friend and somehow can't bring yourself to get to the point for the first 3 minutes of the conversation.
...you stop enjoying telling newcomers to Japan 'all about Japan'.
...you think 360 yen to the dollar is a reasonable exchange rate.
...you automatically remember all of your important year dates in Showa numbers.
...people stop complementing you on your Japanese, and start asking you where you had your nose and eyes done.
...you still remember your first drive in your brand new Toyopet.
...you noticed 7-11 changed its onigiri wrapping houshiki for the third time.
...you find a beautiful new way to eat natto.
...you are not worried about speeding in the rain, because you know the cops are only out there in good weather.
...you think birds cry.
...you think "English literature major" is a polite way to say peanut brained bimbo.
...you go to New Zealand and consider traveling around by train.
...you develop a liking for green tea flavored ice cream.
...you're talking to your mother on the phone, and she asks you what "genki" means.
...you think the best part of TV are the commercials.
...you think wet umbrellas need condoms.
.. your mother talks about "you foreigners."
...matter of fact, you've never even been skiing, but the rack looks great on the car...
...you have mastered the art of simultaneous bowing and hand-shaking.

'San Q'

Rob Pongi

http://www.RobPongi.com

"Daily sweat is nullified by this admirable coffee set at free chatting."

[kamome]

you think the Mos Burger would beat the pants off the Big Mac in a taste test;

you walk into a store and ask if anybody there will speak Japanese to you;

you wish all transactions could be done by bank transfer;

white chicks start to look exotic;

you realize that orange juice has become the only thing between you and a nasty case of scurvy.

Can't think of any more at the moment, but another post could be in the near future! Great idea, Robpongi!

[Kitten2]

Originally Posted by kamome

white chicks start to look exotic

LOL* That was pretty funny.

[Rob Pongi]

You Know You've Been In Japan Too Long When....

...you think it is quite OK to play volleyball with 12 people per team.

...when in the middle of nowhere, totally surrounded by rice fields and abundant nature, you aren't surprised to find a drink vending machine with no visible means of a power supply...

...and when you think nothing of it when that lonely vending machine says 'thank you' after you buy a coke.

...you stand before a sign on a bridge and ponder the possible meanings of "Bridge Freezes Before Road."

...it takes fifteen seconds of deep thought to recall the first name of the President of the United States.

...you have a favorite bush to pee behind.

....you only have 73 transparent, plastic umbrellas in your entrance because you have donated 27 to the JR and various taxi companies in the past few months.

...you realize it's perfectly reasonable for the Post Office to designate you as the local redistribution agent for all letters addressed in yokomoji.


...when your arguing with someone about the color of the traffic light being blue or green...and you think it's blue.

...you are proud of yourself for beating the system by buying a case of Labbatt's Blue for 160 yen a can.

...when you think one kind of rice tastes better than another kind.

...you get a "Nihongo ga joozu" and feel really insulted.

...you see a road with two lanes going in the same direction and assume the one on the left is meant for parking.

...when you pull out your ruler to underline words.

...when getting ready for a trip you automatically calculate for omiyage and you leave just the right amount of space in your suitcase for them.

...when you think that coffee goes perfectly well with squid pizza.

... it doesn't surprise you that a case of beer has the same per unit price as a single can.

... you think cod roe spaghetti with chilled red wine is a typical Italian dish.

'San Q'

Rob Pongi

http://www.RobPongi.com

[Anonymous]

You realize you've beein in Japan too long when:

1. You find yourself searching for the saltiest Miso soup or O-suimono you can find just to satisfy your salt cravings.
2. You return to whatever country you came from to find that everything tastes "bland".
3. You carry a small bottle of shoyu in your pocket for salt emergencies.
4. You eat tsukemono without rice, just as a snack.
5. You coat your steak white before cooking it.