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#21
07-09-2008, 05:25 PM
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That was like the other day when some obachan with the Unicef box hanging from her neck when she bum rushed from behind and started to blab in English... "Excuse me... will you help out by supporting the Sendai earthquake fund (sic)."
My reply was... "suimasen, Eigo wakarimasen.." She was more perplexed than ever and let me go off the hook. 
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#22
07-09-2008, 05:30 PM
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Quote:
that lot always chase me in front of Sakuragicho station in front of landmark tower - i find them particularly in your face.
__________________
“If the eyes are the window to the soul, then why does it hurt when I spray them with Windex?” ― Stephen Colbert http://sakura59.tumblr.com/
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#23
07-09-2008, 07:14 PM
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I'm usually a pushover. As a guy I don't (usually) have to worry that they're trying to get into my pants or whatnot.
There was one time though that I said "sure!" and then started chanelling one of my old philosophy lecturers on Wittgenstein (a unit I only just barely passed). It kind of backfired on me though, because after my spiel he just smiled and said something like "Du yu laiku Japanese garu?" 
__________________
Mr Kobayashi: First, I experienced a sort of overpowering feeling whenever I was in the room with foreigners, not to mention a powerful body odor coming from them. I don't know whether it was a sweat from the heat or a cold sweat, but I remember I was sweating whenever they were around. - Otaru Onsen Oral Testimony -------------------------- Keep staring, I might do a trick. -------------------------- Noriko you whore!
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#24
07-09-2008, 07:30 PM
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I got ambushed at Yamada Denki. But it was a little different. I was looking for a new mouse, and after looking at the myriad of mouse, this nicely dressed guy came up and asked me if I what I was looking for. He looked like he could have been a worker, so I said, I wanted a cordless mouse, and he started to look for one with me. Then he started to ask me questions in English, what do I do, and how long had I been in Japan. He spoke quite well, and then he whipped out a business card stating that he is a member of the Jehovah's Witness and he invited me to go to their prayer meetings. I grabbed a mouse and took off, thanking him for his help.
__________________
Jacques Plante: "How would you like a job where, every time you make a mistake, a big red light goes on and 18,000 people boo?"
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#25
07-09-2008, 08:17 PM
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One of the Jehovah's Witnesses tried to waylay me coming out of a discount shoe store. It was kind of weird because it was either unlucky timing or he saw me going in and just waited for me to come out.
__________________
His [Brendan Behan's] last words were to several nuns standing over his bed, "God bless you, may your sons all be bishops."
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#26
07-09-2008, 09:42 PM
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those loonies are everywhere. a few of them out here got a first hand demonstration as to how a garden hose works.
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"Cause I'm stranded all alone, in the gas station of love, and I have to use the self-service pumps.." - "Weird Al" Yankovic
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#27
07-10-2008, 06:48 PM
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I was walking with my son to the conbini and this nicely dressed guy was in my path so I went to step around him and he literally stepped between me and my son. He's lucky he didn't get crushed. He asked me in English,"Where are you going?", I stepped closer and loomed over him as I stepped around him and replied in Japanese, "Conbini ni ikimasu." and kept walking. I told my son why I didn't crush him. My 10 year old was just as vexed about it as I was.
__________________
”I'm Lord Vader and I get respect, Your planet and your life is what I expect, Cape on my back, Cable box on my chest, Leather pants till my death, hot oil on my breath!”
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#28
07-10-2008, 07:46 PM
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I was at the gym one day and this guy suddenly asked me if I was from the UK. I said no and said I was from the US. He didn't understand, so I said it again. He still didn't understand, so I said America. He kind of yelped, "America!?" and got this disgusted look on his face turned around and didn't talk to me again. I might have smacked him if it wasn't the boxing gym.
Another time I was in the grocery store looking at cheese and this lady walked up and said in a really loud mentally disable type voice, "Do you like cheese? I like cheese." I just kind of looked at her funny and said, "Yeah." Then she walked away. All I could think was, "Wow, she speaks good English for a retarded Jap."
__________________
Actually, it's a lot of fun to fight. You know, it's a hell of a hoot. ... It's fun to shoot some people. I'll be right upfront with you, I like brawling. -- Lt. Gen. James N. Mattis Drinking removes warts and pimples. Not from me. But from those I look at. -- The Great One, Jackie Gleason
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#29
07-10-2008, 11:20 PM
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Man you guys are mean, lol. It would suprise me if any of you were from the mid-west, USA.
 I don't mind chatting up strangers in English while I'm on my way somewhere and they are following, or I'm waiting for a train or something. The thing that bothers me is when they want to take pictures and/or exchange e-mail addresses. Of course, I guess if I took the common approach here and told them I'd rip their beating hearts from their chests if they so much as look in my general direction, I'd get fewer photo requests. 
__________________
"I would make all my subordinates Americans and start a hamburger joint with great atmosphere. "
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#30
07-10-2008, 11:36 PM
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You're more photogenic than I am. The flash reflects off of my shiny nose and looks like a supernova exploding, hence the standard response, "Do you have a daughter between 20-40 whom I can teach coital English to?"
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Takechanpoo: Quote:
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