Sooo I mention that many Japanese are passive aggressive. This leads into the whole, "They're just being polite" explanation and then her friend comes in with the "it's the gaijin's fault because they should recognize they're doing something wrong." I heard them out and simply suggested there were polite ways to let someone know what they're doing/saying is an issue and remedy the situation...and got the ol "it's not the Japanese way to point it out." I countered with "If the person isn't made aware there is an issue, they aren't likely to change." They maintained the their stance, offering up more politeness explanations. They even made excuses for going postal on someone for doing something wrong multiple times despite having never brought up the issue previously. You can see where this is going....Japan's unique and infallible "logic" cannot be reasoned with. "They're not being passive aggressive, they're simply being Japanese."
Apparently Wikipedia agrees:
Ambiguity or speaking cryptically: a means of creating a feeling of insecurity in others or of disguising one's own insecurities.
Intentional Inefficiency: Intentionally being late and forgetting things, another way to exert control or to punish.
Convenient forgetfulness: To win any argument with a dishonest denial of actual events.
Fear of competition
Fear of dependency
Fear of intimacy as a means to act out anger: the passive–aggressive often cannot trust. Because of this, they guard themselves against becoming intimately attached to someone.
Making chaotic situations
Making excuses for non-performance in work teams
Obstructionism
Procrastination
Sulking
Victimization response: instead of recognizing one's own weaknesses, tendency to blame others for own failures.
Anyhow, while I may not be able to convince hardcore lemurs that there are better ways to handle these types of situations, J-land passive aggressive stories always crack me up and I'm sure you guys have plenty. Please share!
