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Cyka UchuuJin wrote:You poor gaijin boys stuck in Japan...
http://www.japantimes.co.jp/community/2 ... R8z90LHx90
Free advise: don't stick your dick in locals and make babies!
But....but...........she said I didn't need to wear a condom if I didn't want to!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
kurogane wrote:I have reached my limit of articles or something, so if anybody is in the mood, a cut and paste of the whole thing would be appreciated.
kurogane wrote:Cyka UchuuJin wrote:You poor gaijin boys stuck in Japan...
http://www.japantimes.co.jp/community/2 ... R8z90LHx90
Free advise: don't stick your dick in locals and make babies!
Who woulda thought our Cyka was, in fact:
so he ended up teaching English somewhere in the sticks
Jim, an American in his late 20s, used to be a very passionate young man. He claimed he was a communist — a Stalinist, even. He would engage in endless political debates during smoking breaks and drinking sessions. He dreamed of graduate school, an academic career and, one day, even leading a riot.
Having non-Japanese friends and co-workers helps a lot. Not only can you use your native language, but the patterns of communication, expectations and levels of self-disclosure tend to be quite similar, and therefore it is often easier to build and develop relationships. The fact that we are all foreigners here “in the same boat” is a perfect icebreaker.
Cyka UchuuJin wrote:Free advise: don't stick your dick in locals and make babies!
Samurai_Jerk wrote:I've found that I'm happier here the more I go native and stop hanging around other expats.
Samurai_Jerk wrote:I've found that I'm happier here to more I go native and stop hanging around other expats.
Wage Slave wrote:Cyka UchuuJin wrote:Free advise: don't stick your dick in locals and make babies!
Nothing wrong with doing that in itself. In fact, I believe the government is rather keen on it on the inarguable grounds that beggars can't be choosers. And there is no onerous impediment to getting PR or even citizenship if you are the monogamous in all things type.
You just have to, as Yanpa said, know what you are doing.
Cyka UchuuJin wrote:However what always gets me, is that so many men seem surprised when a girl here gets pregnant and even more so that she is not only keeping it, but expecting marriage and the full deal.
Wage Slave wrote:Cyka UchuuJin wrote:However what always gets me, is that so many men seem surprised when a girl here gets pregnant and even more so that she is not only keeping it, but expecting marriage and the full deal.
Yes, absolutely right. It is also, ahem, surprising, that they somehow expect life to just continue on in the same way after children arrive. That said, the transformation to mother/housewife is dramatic and complete. It didn't bother me all that much but it is a comprehensive, exclusive and all encompassing transformation to be sure.
Cyka UchuuJin wrote:Wage Slave wrote:Cyka UchuuJin wrote:However what always gets me, is that so many men seem surprised when a girl here gets pregnant and even more so that she is not only keeping it, but expecting marriage and the full deal.
Yes, absolutely right. It is also, ahem, surprising, that they somehow expect life to just continue on in the same way after children arrive. That said, the transformation to mother/housewife is dramatic and complete. It didn't bother me all that much but it is a comprehensive, exclusive and all encompassing transformation to be sure.
Of everywhere I have been in the world, the transformation seems to be the most 'dramatic and complete' of anywhere. I think gaijin men assume that they won't get browbeaten like japanese husbands do or that their japanese girl is 'different'.
Cyka UchuuJin wrote:However what always gets me, is that so many men seem surprised when a girl here gets pregnant and even more so that she is not only keeping it, but expecting marriage and the full deal.
Wage Slave wrote:Cyka UchuuJin wrote:Wage Slave wrote:Cyka UchuuJin wrote:However what always gets me, is that so many men seem surprised when a girl here gets pregnant and even more so that she is not only keeping it, but expecting marriage and the full deal.
Yes, absolutely right. It is also, ahem, surprising, that they somehow expect life to just continue on in the same way after children arrive. That said, the transformation to mother/housewife is dramatic and complete. It didn't bother me all that much but it is a comprehensive, exclusive and all encompassing transformation to be sure.
Of everywhere I have been in the world, the transformation seems to be the most 'dramatic and complete' of anywhere. I think gaijin men assume that they won't get browbeaten like japanese husbands do or that their japanese girl is 'different'.
Yep, I would say that agrees with my experience. Personally, I say it's just one of those things - You have to take the whole package when you take people on. You can't pick and choose and you aren't going to change them all that much. I'm half seriously considering retiring to the potting shed soon - on the grounds that's what we are culturally programmed to do. And that's that.
Cyka UchuuJin wrote:Wage Slave wrote:Cyka UchuuJin wrote:Wage Slave wrote:Cyka UchuuJin wrote:However what always gets me, is that so many men seem surprised when a girl here gets pregnant and even more so that she is not only keeping it, but expecting marriage and the full deal.
Yes, absolutely right. It is also, ahem, surprising, that they somehow expect life to just continue on in the same way after children arrive. That said, the transformation to mother/housewife is dramatic and complete. It didn't bother me all that much but it is a comprehensive, exclusive and all encompassing transformation to be sure.
Of everywhere I have been in the world, the transformation seems to be the most 'dramatic and complete' of anywhere. I think gaijin men assume that they won't get browbeaten like japanese husbands do or that their japanese girl is 'different'.
Yep, I would say that agrees with my experience. Personally, I say it's just one of those things - You have to take the whole package when you take people on. You can't pick and choose and you aren't going to change them all that much. I'm half seriously considering retiring to the potting shed soon - on the grounds that's what we are culturally programmed to do. And that's that.
That is just a flaw in humans... people keep thinking that they have the power to change their partner.
Wage Slave wrote:Cyka UchuuJin wrote:Wage Slave wrote:Cyka UchuuJin wrote:Wage Slave wrote:Cyka UchuuJin wrote:However what always gets me, is that so many men seem surprised when a girl here gets pregnant and even more so that she is not only keeping it, but expecting marriage and the full deal.
Yes, absolutely right. It is also, ahem, surprising, that they somehow expect life to just continue on in the same way after children arrive. That said, the transformation to mother/housewife is dramatic and complete. It didn't bother me all that much but it is a comprehensive, exclusive and all encompassing transformation to be sure.
Of everywhere I have been in the world, the transformation seems to be the most 'dramatic and complete' of anywhere. I think gaijin men assume that they won't get browbeaten like japanese husbands do or that their japanese girl is 'different'.
Yep, I would say that agrees with my experience. Personally, I say it's just one of those things - You have to take the whole package when you take people on. You can't pick and choose and you aren't going to change them all that much. I'm half seriously considering retiring to the potting shed soon - on the grounds that's what we are culturally programmed to do. And that's that.
That is just a flaw in humans... people keep thinking that they have the power to change their partner.
Yes. In my experience it also applies to managing, teaching and parenting. You really have to accept the whole package, grant self respect and dignity and then find ways of working within that. The good bit is - do it right and people repay you in spades.
Cyka UchuuJin wrote:I also believe in a healthy mix of hanging out with both expats and locals, but I will admit I find it less interesting here in Tokyo than I did in Osaka. So far the expats I've met are a little, not really my cup of tea.
Samurai_Jerk wrote:Cyka UchuuJin wrote:I also believe in a healthy mix of hanging out with both expats and locals, but I will admit I find it less interesting here in Tokyo than I did in Osaka. So far the expats I've met are a little, not really my cup of tea.
I definitely have my expat friends and sometimes it's fun to get together with everyone and escape from Japan for a few hows but going to your local Irish (or whatever) pub, drinking Guinness, eating fish and chips, and endlessly complaining about Japan every other day gets old pretty quickly.
Tokyo is a lot bigger than Osaka with a lot more options. You probably haven't found the right scene yet.
Cyka UchuuJin wrote:Wage Slave wrote:Cyka UchuuJin wrote:Wage Slave wrote:Cyka UchuuJin wrote:Wage Slave wrote:Cyka UchuuJin wrote:However what always gets me, is that so many men seem surprised when a girl here gets pregnant and even more so that she is not only keeping it, but expecting marriage and the full deal.
Yes, absolutely right. It is also, ahem, surprising, that they somehow expect life to just continue on in the same way after children arrive. That said, the transformation to mother/housewife is dramatic and complete. It didn't bother me all that much but it is a comprehensive, exclusive and all encompassing transformation to be sure.
Of everywhere I have been in the world, the transformation seems to be the most 'dramatic and complete' of anywhere. I think gaijin men assume that they won't get browbeaten like japanese husbands do or that their japanese girl is 'different'.
Yep, I would say that agrees with my experience. Personally, I say it's just one of those things - You have to take the whole package when you take people on. You can't pick and choose and you aren't going to change them all that much. I'm half seriously considering retiring to the potting shed soon - on the grounds that's what we are culturally programmed to do. And that's that.
That is just a flaw in humans... people keep thinking that they have the power to change their partner.
Yes. In my experience it also applies to managing, teaching and parenting. You really have to accept the whole package, grant self respect and dignity and then find ways of working within that. The good bit is - do it right and people repay you in spades.
I'm going to print that out and put it on my mirror as my daily mantra.
(holy shit that reiki stuff has turned me into a new age weirdo...)
Wage Slave wrote:Cyka UchuuJin wrote:Wage Slave wrote:Cyka UchuuJin wrote:Wage Slave wrote:Cyka UchuuJin wrote:Wage Slave wrote:Cyka UchuuJin wrote:However what always gets me, is that so many men seem surprised when a girl here gets pregnant and even more so that she is not only keeping it, but expecting marriage and the full deal.
Yes, absolutely right. It is also, ahem, surprising, that they somehow expect life to just continue on in the same way after children arrive. That said, the transformation to mother/housewife is dramatic and complete. It didn't bother me all that much but it is a comprehensive, exclusive and all encompassing transformation to be sure.
Of everywhere I have been in the world, the transformation seems to be the most 'dramatic and complete' of anywhere. I think gaijin men assume that they won't get browbeaten like japanese husbands do or that their japanese girl is 'different'.
Yep, I would say that agrees with my experience. Personally, I say it's just one of those things - You have to take the whole package when you take people on. You can't pick and choose and you aren't going to change them all that much. I'm half seriously considering retiring to the potting shed soon - on the grounds that's what we are culturally programmed to do. And that's that.
That is just a flaw in humans... people keep thinking that they have the power to change their partner.
Yes. In my experience it also applies to managing, teaching and parenting. You really have to accept the whole package, grant self respect and dignity and then find ways of working within that. The good bit is - do it right and people repay you in spades.
I'm going to print that out and put it on my mirror as my daily mantra.
(holy shit that reiki stuff has turned me into a new age weirdo...)
I'm flattered. Thank you.
Cyka UchuuJin wrote:Wage Slave wrote:Cyka UchuuJin wrote:Wage Slave wrote:Cyka UchuuJin wrote:Wage Slave wrote:Cyka UchuuJin wrote:Wage Slave wrote:Cyka UchuuJin wrote:However what always gets me, is that so many men seem surprised when a girl here gets pregnant and even more so that she is not only keeping it, but expecting marriage and the full deal.
Yes, absolutely right. It is also, ahem, surprising, that they somehow expect life to just continue on in the same way after children arrive. That said, the transformation to mother/housewife is dramatic and complete. It didn't bother me all that much but it is a comprehensive, exclusive and all encompassing transformation to be sure.
Of everywhere I have been in the world, the transformation seems to be the most 'dramatic and complete' of anywhere. I think gaijin men assume that they won't get browbeaten like japanese husbands do or that their japanese girl is 'different'.
Yep, I would say that agrees with my experience. Personally, I say it's just one of those things - You have to take the whole package when you take people on. You can't pick and choose and you aren't going to change them all that much. I'm half seriously considering retiring to the potting shed soon - on the grounds that's what we are culturally programmed to do. And that's that.
That is just a flaw in humans... people keep thinking that they have the power to change their partner.
Yes. In my experience it also applies to managing, teaching and parenting. You really have to accept the whole package, grant self respect and dignity and then find ways of working within that. The good bit is - do it right and people repay you in spades.
I'm going to print that out and put it on my mirror as my daily mantra.
(holy shit that reiki stuff has turned me into a new age weirdo...)
I'm flattered. Thank you.
alright alright, let's not get emotional here.
Cyka UchuuJin wrote:Wage Slave wrote:Cyka UchuuJin wrote:Wage Slave wrote:Cyka UchuuJin wrote:Wage Slave wrote:Cyka UchuuJin wrote:Wage Slave wrote:Cyka UchuuJin wrote:However what always gets me, is that so many men seem surprised when a girl here gets pregnant and even more so that she is not only keeping it, but expecting marriage and the full deal.
Yes, absolutely right. It is also, ahem, surprising, that they somehow expect life to just continue on in the same way after children arrive. That said, the transformation to mother/housewife is dramatic and complete. It didn't bother me all that much but it is a comprehensive, exclusive and all encompassing transformation to be sure.
Of everywhere I have been in the world, the transformation seems to be the most 'dramatic and complete' of anywhere. I think gaijin men assume that they won't get browbeaten like japanese husbands do or that their japanese girl is 'different'.
Yep, I would say that agrees with my experience. Personally, I say it's just one of those things - You have to take the whole package when you take people on. You can't pick and choose and you aren't going to change them all that much. I'm half seriously considering retiring to the potting shed soon - on the grounds that's what we are culturally programmed to do. And that's that.
That is just a flaw in humans... people keep thinking that they have the power to change their partner.
Yes. In my experience it also applies to managing, teaching and parenting. You really have to accept the whole package, grant self respect and dignity and then find ways of working within that. The good bit is - do it right and people repay you in spades.
I'm going to print that out and put it on my mirror as my daily mantra.
(holy shit that reiki stuff has turned me into a new age weirdo...)
I'm flattered. Thank you.
alright alright, let's not get emotional here.
Wage Slave wrote:Cyka UchuuJin wrote:Wage Slave wrote:Cyka UchuuJin wrote:Wage Slave wrote:Cyka UchuuJin wrote:Wage Slave wrote:Cyka UchuuJin wrote:Wage Slave wrote:Cyka UchuuJin wrote:However what always gets me, is that so many men seem surprised when a girl here gets pregnant and even more so that she is not only keeping it, but expecting marriage and the full deal.
Yes, absolutely right. It is also, ahem, surprising, that they somehow expect life to just continue on in the same way after children arrive. That said, the transformation to mother/housewife is dramatic and complete. It didn't bother me all that much but it is a comprehensive, exclusive and all encompassing transformation to be sure.
Of everywhere I have been in the world, the transformation seems to be the most 'dramatic and complete' of anywhere. I think gaijin men assume that they won't get browbeaten like japanese husbands do or that their japanese girl is 'different'.
Yep, I would say that agrees with my experience. Personally, I say it's just one of those things - You have to take the whole package when you take people on. You can't pick and choose and you aren't going to change them all that much. I'm half seriously considering retiring to the potting shed soon - on the grounds that's what we are culturally programmed to do. And that's that.
That is just a flaw in humans... people keep thinking that they have the power to change their partner.
Yes. In my experience it also applies to managing, teaching and parenting. You really have to accept the whole package, grant self respect and dignity and then find ways of working within that. The good bit is - do it right and people repay you in spades.
I'm going to print that out and put it on my mirror as my daily mantra.
(holy shit that reiki stuff has turned me into a new age weirdo...)
I'm flattered. Thank you.
alright alright, let's not get emotional here.
Not so sure about that. If someone pays you a genuine compliment then its only good manners to accept it and thank them. Fuck all that Anglo and Japanese feigned modesty crap.
wagyl wrote:Samurai_Jerk wrote:I've found that I'm happier here the more I go native and stop hanging around other expats.
I agree. Concentrate on the shared humanity. Deemphasise the "us vs them."
Yokohammer wrote:Very true. And that is really the only way to gain some true insight. No need to shut yourself off completely, but hanging out with expats who spend all of their off time bitching about Japan can only lead to depression.
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