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mrmachine wrote:what was she like before, and after?
mrmachine wrote:have you settled or do you plan to settle in japan, or your native country?
mrmachine wrote:did you meet her in japan during your travels, or elsewhere during her travels?
mrmachine wrote:what was she like before, and after?
mrmachine wrote:have you settled or do you plan to settle in japan, or your native country?
mrmachine wrote:did you meet her in japan during your travels, or elsewhere during her travels?
mrmachine wrote:who married a j-girl?
mrmachine wrote:what was she like before, and after?
mrmachine wrote:have you settled or do you plan to settle in japan, or your native country?
mrmachine wrote:did you meet her in japan during your travels, or elsewhere during her travels?
Adhesive wrote:On a side note, I do have to admit that out of all the generational and cultural cohorts to choose a wife from, a Japanese girl who came of age during the bubble years may not be the wisest. They tend to have a harder time coming to terms with the fact that simply having a job does not entitle one to the luxuries of Gucci and Moet.
Hehehehehehe. I know this all too well. I have 4 jobs here in Hawaii, and although that is enough to get us by, she still bothers me about getting more Louis Vuitton things and wanting a Mercedes. *sigh*Adhesive wrote:On a side note, I do have to admit that out of all the generational and cultural cohorts to choose a wife from, a Japanese girl who came of age during the bubble years may not be the wisest. They tend to have a harder time coming to terms with the fact that simply having a job does not entitle one to the luxuries of Gucci and Moet.
Women are women. There are good ones and bad ones in every country.
mrmachine wrote:what was she like before, and after?
mrmachine wrote:have you settled or do you plan to settle in japan, or your native country?
mrmachine wrote:did you meet her in japan during your travels, or elsewhere during her travels?
I lived with my wife for a solid 3 years before proposing to her, something I would suggest doing before committing to any member of the female species.
jim katta wrote:I lived with my wife for a solid 3 years before proposing to her, something I would suggest doing before committing to any member of the female species.
Me too. In fact, I could use some advice. I lived with my japanese girlfriend for 3 years in new york. First year was grand, last two were peppered with a lot of arguing, and the last year, we hardly had sex (and we used to do it like bunnies). I had not even come close to proposing, and I was very focused on work. She up and decided to move back to Japan, and within a month she said she regretted leaving and wanted to be with me. She keeps inviting me to come to Japan, and I can tell she wants me to propose to her (I 'did' meet her father, who liked me actually). I'm ready for marriage, but I don't know if she's the one. After three years, I felt like no, but now I really am considering it. So tell me: how crazy am I if went to Japan and married her?
[awaiting my proper kick in the bum... ]
Almost every guy I know who followed a girl over there ended up being miserable and breaking up with them.
mrmachine wrote:i am moving to japan and i've been with my japanese girlfriend in australia for about 8 months already. i'm not going just for her, i was planning an extended stay in japan before i met her. but i am a little wary of the new obligations placed upon her in japanese society, and the added strain on our relationship due to my being in a foreign land, in a difficult job, somewhat dependant on her. we're not engaged or anything though, but it would be nice to hear some success stories
The secret to keeping your sanity is making sure you have a stash of money set aside in case things go sideways. Even if it never happens, it's like a security blanket you can rely on.mrmachine wrote:i am moving to japan and i've been with my japanese girlfriend in australia for about 8 months already. i'm not going just for her, i was planning an extended stay in japan before i met her. but i am a little wary of the new obligations placed upon her in japanese society, and the added strain on our relationship due to my being in a foreign land, in a difficult job, somewhat dependant on her. we're not engaged or anything though, but it would be nice to hear some success stories
jim katta wrote:I'm ready for marriage, but I don't know if she's the one...So tell me: how crazy am I if went to Japan and married her?
jim katta wrote:
I guess my biggest worry is what dude said about "Don't do it just because you can." I think that might be part of my motivation.
just can't stomach the arguing about literally 'nothing' a lot.
jim katta wrote: she's super hot, super loyal, a hard worker, and I like her as a person.
The Ghost of AssKissinger wrote:I married my wife less than half a year after the day we met. Our four year anniversary is coming up next month. I want to stress a kind of different angle towards marriage. These days, conventional wisdom tells us to wait, be patient and hold out for the 'right' partner. I was over thirty when I got married so in a sense I followed that same idealogy. But on the other hand, time and place really are important factors as well. It's a lot of things combined, not just finding the right partner. I mean, if you feel in your heart, it's time to get married, that's a big part of it. No woman is going to be 100% perfect for you. Or at least, that kind of thing is really rare. You don't want to let the things you want in life to pass you by because you're afraid of making a mistake. Take for example, when I was living up in Aomori, I knew a JET guy who got engaged to woman he only knew over the Internet. EVERYONE I knew condemned his decision universally as idiotic. I was the only one I knew who gave the guy the benefit of the doubt. My take on it, is that dating and falling in love and cohabitaton and so on is just one of many many ways people from around the world go about it. In fact, I don't think there's any indications that marriages that spring out of romantic love are any more prone to produce happiness than arranged marriages and so on. It seemed odd to me that among all the gaijin I knew, who suppossedly are worldly and sophisticated and hip to different cultures and different ways of doing things can only accept their own way of finding a spouse as the correct one. Marriage is personal. And the reasons are too personal to worry too much about what everyone else thinks. When you hit your thirties, wow, time starts to fly. Maybe you're dating someone and you're thinking 'Yeah, I wanna get married' but still there's some doubt... well, by the time you get out of that relationship and into the next one BAM! you're forty, oh shit. And this is something I really believe, for most people, as you get older, it gets harder and harder to really open your heart to someone. Puppy love may be the purest love out there! And at a certain point as you get older it's like every new girlfriend is kind of the same, no one's perfect. You can see the future problems right after the first fuck, you know? Maybe at this point it takes a push of dedication, a show of faith in another human to help generate the love you need to replinish your soul. so Jim, you're 34 you say? I say 'Go for it!'. If that's what you want. Good luck!
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