Can someone translate this into English?

[yanpa]

Whether it’s Evisu’s iconic white paint “seagull” back-pocket logo, or the eye-watering prices you can fork out for artisan brands such as Momotaro or Samurai (partly a result of high labour costs in Japan and unfriendly exchange rates), Japanese denim has acquired something of a cult reputation since the 1990s. Now Topman has entered the fray with a collaboration with Kurabo Mills, which has resulted in two “classic slim” cut jeans in raw and “worn vintage” finishes (£75) and a denim jacket (£85) if you fancy braving the Canadian tux/double denim look.

blah blah blah

[Coligny]

No, but where can I apply for a job at The Grauniad ?
Me speak english real well good

[Grumpy Gramps]

Guess, this is fashion speak, about as inspiring as interviews with tennis stars...

Joining my cat in taking a nap, much more exciting

[Coligny]

Guess, this is fashion speak, about as inspiring as interviews with tennis stars...

Joining my cat in taking a nap, much more exciting

Midnight and the mighty Kay is sleepy ? Damn, the trio is just warming up here...

[dimwit]

Whether it’s Evisu’s iconic white paint “seagull” back-pocket logo, or the eye-watering prices you can fork out for artisan brands such as Momotaro or Samurai (partly a result of high labour costs in Japan and unfriendly exchange rates), Japanese denim has acquired something of a cult reputation since the 1990s. Now Topman has entered the fray with a collaboration with Kurabo Mills, which has resulted in two “classic slim” cut jeans in raw and “worn vintage” finishes (£75) and a denim jacket (£85) if you fancy braving the Canadian tux/double denim look.

blah blah blah

When I translated from English to Japanese to Arabic to Klingon to Czech and back to English this is what I got

the logo of SutwIj qoDDaq, the ' yes ' Dub evisu "Seagull", momotarō-yo ' SeH (only labour costs the manufacturer ' ej partial ghot ' e ' there November hostile course), Martina rItlh iconic chIS bIQ mInDu ' wIj bIQ ' ej pagh ' e ' rur ' dinimoi Wei tlhap aqla malja ' Hai ' Craftsman brand's iconic ' rur lu '. Currently, the classic Mills carbo "tuQ vintage" pe "topman 2 luqonta ' bogh thin denim wep (85 kg) contest participants ' cooperation, ghap chonaDmo cha ' logh Vrzoň denim legh chIm ' e ' qaDta ' naQ bogh (s £ 75) qa ' naDa ' buStaHmo Dev '

Sort of makes more sense, if you ask me.

[Samurai_Jerk]

Whether it’s Evisu’s iconic white paint “seagull” back-pocket logo, or the eye-watering prices you can fork out for artisan brands such as Momotaro or Samurai (partly a result of high labour costs in Japan and unfriendly exchange rates), Japanese denim has acquired something of a cult reputation since the 1990s. Now Topman has entered the fray with a collaboration with Kurabo Mills, which has resulted in two “classic slim” cut jeans in raw and “worn vintage” finishes (£75) and a denim jacket (£85) if you fancy braving the Canadian tux/double denim look.

blah blah blah

The basic message is, "I'm gay."