Need your help

[pheyton]

My teachers did extensive studies in the impediments to verbal ability in a foreign language environment, their conclusion is the same as yours. The #1 impediment is fear of misspeaking and sounding foolish or stupid, and becoming embarrassed. But there are probably ways to work around it. Let me suggest one that I've used.

I definitely suffer from this, but it is because I am in a classroom full of anime otaku and other nutjobs. In small groups of friends I'm the energizer bunny of fucked up bunpo. I'm getting better though!

I like Charles' idea. It makes a lot of sense and can instantly break any ice. I'm sure within seconds the image would become x-rated though.

[Charles]

I definitely suffer from this, but it is because I am in a classroom full of anime otaku and other nutjobs. In small groups of friends I'm the energizer bunny of fucked up bunpo. I'm getting better though!

Well, for us adults who should know better than to be embarrassed in front of otaku and other nutjobs, you'll have to do it the hard way. And therein lies a parable..

When I returned from my first semester in Japan, I told my university's Japanese Department head about something that bothered me. I was being introduced in the local buddhist temple, I got swept up in the enthusiasm of the crowd of about 1000 people who had never seen a gaijin from their sect, so I did the unthinkable: I departed from the standard jikoshoukai and ad libbed. Don't ever do that. I flubbed a line and accidentally insulted everyone, but it was kind of funny like a pun, and they understood I spoke Japanese poorly (I was a mere 3nensei) so they all laughed uproariously. I turned red with shame and could not finish even a "yoroshiku" and fled from the podium. So I told my department head, every time I think of 1000 people laughing at me for my poor Japanese, I get a reaction like PTSD, my face flushes, I break out in a sweat, and become unable to speak.
She said, "Oh, get over it. When I was learning English, I made a lot worse mistakes than that. If you're going to become fluent, you're going to make even worse mistakes, so you better get used to it. The path to fluency is littered with a million mistakes, so you better get busy making lots of mistakes!"
Did I mention my department head was a real bitch?

Anyway, the point is you have to lose that sense of embarrassment, or at least, become so accustomed to it that it loses its power. Repeated application of humiliation may be required. It is good for you.

Edit: I forgot, there's another strategy: get really drunk before engaging in conversation. You lose the embarrassment, or at least, you don't care anymore. I suggest getting so drunk that you can clearly feel the words coming out of your mouth in katakana.