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  • fuckedgaijin ‹ General ‹ Gaijin Ghetto

Declan Hayes on...(First in a Series)

Groovin' in the Gaijin Gulag
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Declan Hayes on...(First in a Series)

Postby Catoneinutica » Tue Apr 14, 2009 11:09 am

Image

Inquiring FGs may have stumbled across a tome published in 2005 by Declan Hayes, Associate Professor of "Money, Banking, and Finance" at Sophia University, entitled The Japanese Disease: Sex and Sleaze in Modern Japan. At over 600 pages, including about 300 pages of endnotes, Hayes addresses pretty much everything you need to know about Japan. Or anything in the world, for that matter (Hayes' erudition even extends to the celestial: there's an endnote about the Planet Uranus).

Here's Professor Hayes on butter dogs:

[INDENT]
Japanese porno actresses make half the wages of their canine costars. Butter dogs earn their name from the butter they're supposed to lap up form labia belonging to their Japanese mistresses. Butter Dog Story DX, which features a Japanese dog performing orally on eight Japanese women, typifies the latest waves of Japanese porn. Labrador Retrievers are a favorite for these flicks because of their obedient nature and their popularity throughout Japanese society: many Shinto temples often have a golden retriever on hand. The more progressive porno companies have replaced butter with non-sugar yogurt to keep the dogs fit and trim and to ensure that animal rights activists do not target them.

Unlike human porno performers, where grunting is an essential part of the packages, it's important that porno dogs do the dirty deed in stoic silence; dogs must not bark in anticipation or even as they climax. And because dogs aren't always able to get an erection when they want to and it's also hard to arouse a Japanese dog when it's not in heat, the crew can be stuck around waiting for hours at a time until the pooch is properly aroused. And then there's the issue of diseases. Although trainers are very worried that their dogs will become infected by unprotected sex with the Japanese porno stars, dogs don't like to wear condoms.

Even when the dogs are ready to perform, it's not always that easy. Dogs' lives are shortened if they ejaculate too much. Although Labradors generally live for about 10 years, if they've appeared in adult videos, their lifespan is generally halved. It seems dogs doesn't like being made to ejaculate when they're not in heat. That's why Japan's animal rights campaigners insist that a dog can ejaculate only once per day while shooting an adult movie.[/INDENT]

What I learned from these three paragraphs:

1. Canine J-porno stars earn double the wages of female porno actresses.

2. Progressive porno companies are using non-sweetened yogurt to keep their canine stars healthy.

3. Dogs aren't allowed to bark in J-pornos.

4. Dogs can catch STDs from porno stars.

5. Dogs don't like wearing condoms.

6. Dogs' lives are shortened if they ejaculate too much.

It's all here, baby:

http://www.amazon.com/Japanese-Disease-Sleaze-Modern-Japan/dp/0595370152/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1239671459&sr=8-1
"If there's a river, we'll dam it, and if there's a tree, we'll ram it - 'cause we Japanese are talkin' progress!"
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Postby Visitor K » Tue Apr 14, 2009 11:58 am

bizarre.
and it gets even more bizarre if you read the reviews, and then go into the comments on the reviews. ive never seen an author comment on his reviews before..

i guess i dont really need to mention it, but ive been rather bored lately.
"When robbery is done in open daylight by sanction of the law, as it is done today, then any act of honor or restitution has to be hidden underground." -Ayn Rand 'Atlas Shrugged'
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Postby Christoff » Thu May 13, 2010 11:39 pm

this is the best part of this: "it's also hard to arouse a Japanese dog when it's not in heat". Are Japanese particularly hard to arouse or is it just all dogs. Also, did they poll a group of gaijin and domestic canine?
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