nottu wrote:Given the way you feel about Japan and the economic and culturally limiting factors for foreigners, you would have to be very, very fortunate for things to work out well for you in Japan. Since you also state that you are young, 31 years old, and have good prospects in your home country, the question is -
What are you waiting for?
The wife knew what she was getting into marrying a foreigner. Tell her to get her ass in gear and start packing.
Otherwise, you'll end up in a bitter, dead end situation in Saitama, spending your evenings complaining about Japanese racism on the Internet.
I have a few points for you:
First, you've been living in and out of Japan consecutively four times, that alone speaks volumes on your resume. The moment you have gaps on your CV it looks bad from the employers point of view. But, since, according to you, you have good prospects going for you back at home, and if you're dead certain about that then the next question you need to ask yourself is this:
1) Are you married because you've found the love of your life, or are you purely career driven whereby marriage is more of convenience than life long commitment to someone you love? Either way there's going to be a sacrifice. That's why it's called love/marriage. Your wife will never choose you over her parents especially since she's the only child, especially since now that her mother is widowed. If you choose to return to your home country to pursue your career goals, and she's not happy that she had to go against traditional family values of taking care of parents, then she's not going to feel happy.
2) You can make home anywhere. That's one of the talents men have, given time and patience they can get used to living anywhere, even the ones that bitch and moan all day.
3) You will not win over family, unless the circumstances are extremely rare and she absolutely hates her parents, which in this case seems like she doesn't.
4) I think you're an idiot for putting career ahead of a woman you chose to marry! You have to be naive to think that things would've worked with the two of you living in your country without taking into consideration the possibility of some kind of misfortune happening.
5) Had you been more selfish in the beginning you could've worked towards your career goals first then married her after you established yourself. The fact that you were willing to even come back to her hometown, not once but four times, indicated in her own mind that you were willing to forego your illustrious career back home - something you clearly never had going in the first place. Just bullshit is all it is.
6) I knew another Jack A$$ like you who married a J bird that he took back to the States because he felt that he had to get back in the job market. He was unemployed for two years! Had to move back in with family and work his ass off just to make ends meet. He was commuting back and forth to work four hours each way.
The career.....what career?
Or was that before you came to Japan?
