Ever fantasize about being a bad gaijin?

[prancer]

Please share your "bad gaijin" fantasies in this thread.

You know how when they clean your car windows when you get gas they do so in a polite, non-voyeuristic manner? I really, really, want to whip out my boobs and press them against the glass when the man is about to wipe my window down, just to see the expression on his face, and to see if he would continue to wipe down the glass where my boobs are.

Exactly how rude would this be? I'm DYING to do this.

[Taro Toporific]

I really, really, want to whip out my boobs and press them against the glass when the man is about to wipe my window down, just to see the expression on his face, and to see if he would continue to wipe down the glass where my boobs are.

In my case, it would be very rude with my man-boobs. :P

[same]

I think I've done all my "bad gaijin" fantasies.

A friend used to insist on saying "keep the change". He'd walk out and be chased by the shop staff with one or two yen in their hands. Then he'd scream at them. He really was a fucked gaijin.

[Andocrates]

It's like tormenting retarded people. They can't adapt to anything unexpected so they continue on like lemmings.

You should do that boob thing but film it please (not because I want to see your boobs, which I do) but it will be funny to see the Japanese guys reaction.

[Caustic Saint]

You should do that boob thing but film it please (not because I want to see your boobs, which I do) but it will be funny to see the Japanese guys reaction.

I'm sure Pongi's available for such filming prjects. Heck, it could be the start of a whole new series!

[GridReaper]

Sad to say, but one of my co-workers is definitely a bad gaijin. Whenever he flies over, he gets into a "I am a rockstar" mode and really gives americans a bad name.

For example, he'll buy fireworks to light them in the middle of busy streets or fire roman candles at couples at park benches. Whatever to get his j-girlfriend a laugh, I guess.

<sigh>

[Blah Pete]

Ever notice how when Japanese are waiting in a line they like to get right up in your a$$ even though the line may be a five minute wait.
I always like to move reeeal slow just to piss 'em off.

[Neo-Rio]

Must......not......thump.......smelly....oyaji....on......crowded......train.......

[kamome]

I knew a guy who used to purposely speak incorrect Japanese to get a laugh. He'd walk into a restaurant and shout "irrashaimase" before the employees did . Then he'd proceed to drive the waiter crazy by ordering something from the menu and painstakingly asking about its ingredients. Then he'd ask the waiter to change it into a vegetarian dish by making them take all of the meat products out of it.

[Thanatos' embalmed botfly]

Must......not......thump.......smelly....oyaji....on......crowded......train.......

Mine is similar. Every fucking day as I sit on the subway, I fight the delirious urge to casually slip my foot out to trip the train walkers. One day. I'm not sure why I want to do this.

Hell, most of the dolly women are only traversing the cars for a bit more attention. Just another of life's catwalks for them. Perhaps I'll make like I'm looking out the window over my shoulder, then, as I turn, I'll simultaneously flick my foot out as if it was a reflexive action.

[AssKissinger]

Ever fantasize about being a bad gaijin?

I work in a junior high school. I guess that answers your question.

[kurohinge1]

... I really, really, want to whip out my boobs and press them against the glass when the man is about to wipe my window down, just to see the expression on his face, and to see if he would continue to wipe down the glass where my boobs are.

Exactly how rude would this be? I'm DYING to do this.

Exactly how rude it would be can only be assessed after you post a picture of the possibly offensive material.

We need to see size, shape, wetness/dryness, darkness and texture. We can then take a poll - after we've seen this picture of your windshield.

For example:

This, I wouldn't find offensive -

But this, to me, would be very rude -

[Kaibutsu]

Sad to say, but one of my co-workers is definitely a bad gaijin. Whenever he flies over, he gets into a "I am a rockstar" mode and really gives americans a bad name.

For example, he'll buy fireworks to light them in the middle of busy streets or fire roman candles at couples at park benches. Whatever to get his j-girlfriend a laugh, I guess.

<sigh>

This goes to show that there truly AIN'T NO JUSTICE!
All these innocent gaijin who've been tossed in jail for nothing, and this idiot coworker of yours gets away with this shit.
Sheesh!

[GargoyleTS]

Please share your "bad gaijin" fantasies in this thread.

You know how when they clean your car windows when you get gas they do so in a polite, non-voyeuristic manner? I really, really, want to whip out my boobs and press them against the glass when the man is about to wipe my window down, just to see the expression on his face, and to see if he would continue to wipe down the glass where my boobs are.

Exactly how rude would this be? I'm DYING to do this.

Are they hiring Gaijin at the service stations there?

Seriously though, I think the suggestion of a series of "Candid Camera" like stuff would be funny to us, but would nt really fly except on the internet. If you ain't been there and lived it, you can;t really understand what the hell is the real funny bit.

On a personal note: Yay! College is back in for the fall here and I swtiched from Tech to a Graphics Communications Major! Adds another year before I can come waste my life in the Wilds of J-land, but I think it will serve me better than a CS. Or are Certs worth crap there too? And oh yeah, they are making me learn Macs *ish excited to break his MS shackles* ^_^

[prancer]

Do you think I could get arrested for this?

Anyway, seeing your reactions talked me into it. Normally I hate watching my gas needle point towards E, but now I'm waiting for it.

[Taro Toporific]

Do you think I could get arrested for this?

Anyway, seeing your reactions talked me into it. Normally I hate watching my gas needle point towards E, but now I'm waiting for it.

You need to mount a video camera in the back seat to record the event.

[GargoyleTS]

Do you think I could get arrested for this?

Anyway, seeing your reactions talked me into it. Normally I hate watching my gas needle point towards E, but now I'm waiting for it.

Arrested...eh, probly only if a cop is actually present. (yes no from FG's in know?) You really do need a video cam set up to catch it though. And take a bit of practise footage to check if the lighting is okay...can't stand that stuff on the net where everything is blurred out cause the windows were dirty or the camera was pointed to near the sun and stuff. I bet Rob Pongi or Mr. Sparkle could give you a few tips on shooting from inside a car.

*wanders off to find out how to buy beer coupons from outside Japan to bribe the Digital Duo with*

Final advice: Do go to your regular gas station. Scout out something on the far side of town or something and plan it out as much as you can. Look for one that isn't too busy (or maybe is really busy...nothing like shocking people in a rush!) and is definitely not near a police box. And maybe also have someone ele with you...they clean the windows before you pay right? which means you will have to stick around long enough to pay and having back-up could be the difference between paying and leaving or getting hassled around until the police arrive.

[GargoyleTS]

Baka internet! BTW, not an expert on this, just my thoughts on how I would do it. ^_^

Good luck and have fun!

[Andocrates]

Arrested? Lord No. You'll give those old geezers at the gas-station something to talk about for the next 10 years. You could very well start some sort of "We love Gaijin" revival.

Young Japanese will be especially impressed at your daring and guts.
Since they can't seem to muster any spine for bending rules.

It might even turn into a whole career for you with a nice book deal. Like remember that book where some guy stood outside crowded trains and took pictures of the people inside, just as the door opened?

[prancer]

Do you think I could get arrested for this?

Anyway, seeing your reactions talked me into it. Normally I hate watching my gas needle point towards E, but now I'm waiting for it.

Arrested...eh, probly only if a cop is actually present. (yes no from FG's in know?) You really do need a video cam set up to catch it though. And take a bit of practise footage to check if the lighting is okay...can't stand that stuff on the net where everything is blurred out cause the windows were dirty or the camera was pointed to near the sun and stuff. I bet Rob Pongi or Mr. Sparkle could give you a few tips on shooting from inside a car.

*wanders off to find out how to buy beer coupons from outside Japan to bribe the Digital Duo with*

Final advice: Do go to your regular gas station. Scout out something on the far side of town or something and plan it out as much as you can. Look for one that isn't too busy (or maybe is really busy...nothing like shocking people in a rush!) and is definitely not near a police box. And maybe also have someone ele with you...they clean the windows before you pay right? which means you will have to stick around long enough to pay and having back-up could be the difference between paying and leaving or gett
ing hassled around until the police arrive.

Yikes, that scares me. You really think some young guy would call the police on me for flashing him? I'm a pretty congenial person - I was thinking that I could just smile and giggle my way out of it, but if there is the tiniest chance of police involvement, I guess this bad-gaijin fantasy will just have to stay in fantasyland.

I just don't understand this culture. Of course, that's part of the fun of being here.

[GargoyleTS]

Yikes, that scares me. You really think some young guy would call the police on me for flashing him? I'm a pretty congenial person - I was thinking that I could just smile and giggle my way out of it, but if there is the tiniest chance of police involvement, I guess this bad-gaijin fantasy will just have to stay in fantasyland.

I just don't understand this culture. Of course, that's part of the fun of being here.

I am not there yet. (curse this world for denying me my every wish) I am simply cautious by nature. Andro says its cool, and he is over there. I would just be careful. 9 out of 10 are gonna be doing the "smile-cause-we-don't-like-the-boat-rocked" but that 10th will either ask for your number or be offended. So go for it! But like I said, have a friend along JIC.

[Andocrates]

Ok, this deal is done.

Japan is a country where people stop and piss in the street, so much so they have "please do not piss here" signs. It's a place where cleaning ladies stand next to your urinal and chat about the weather. Where people march around with statues of giant dicks. Where the best place to find hentai magazines is riding the train.

Does Japan even have nudity laws?

[kurohinge1]

[kamome]

This stunt reminds me of Tom Leykis's "Flash Fridays" on his talk radio show. Every Friday, female listeners driving on the highways would have to flash their boobs at any male driver who had his lights on during the day. Of course, you could tell how many of Tom Leykis's listeners were men by counting the cars with headlights on in broad daylight. The women would call in to the show on their cell phones while flashing some male drivers. Fun listening while sitting in L.A. traffic!