COMPANY PROSPECTUS
"All 4 seasons in one fvcking day". That's what you get when you sign on to http://www.gaijinpot.cc.
http://www.gaijinpot.cc has earned a reputation as one of the premiere website
organizations in the Internet Area.
http://www.gaijinpot.cc differentiates itself from other word placement firms
by using a customized, account specific approach to each account holders
posting requirements. We effectively match each posters professional
skills to an appropriate work environment (or, "thread") and corporate
culture.
We listen to your needs because we care.
WE ARE COMMITTED TO YOUR SUCCESS.
FVCKING COMMITTED.
Key selling points for http://www.gaijinpot.cc:
* Extensive health care insurance:
*Visa Advice for foreign cvnts.
Visa Officer: Glenski
Visa concerns? Form an orderly queue and Glenski will soon set you straight. Or
crush your will to live with his thimble-souled, anti-life agenda. Whichever comes first.
* Work experience internships:
Confused Pete, dead centre, roughly 30 seconds into his internship.
NOW LET'S MEET THE http://www.gaijinpot.cc STAFFING ADVISORY INCORPORATED TEAM!
Virgil Bartos - President
name: Virgil
password: Bartos
Born and raised in the English outback, Virgil is the legal owner of
http://www.gaijinpot.cc. See him up there on the second floor
waving at ya? Give 'em a wave! Lawsuit issues? Email Virgil at
Virgil@gmail.com.
Resident Dietician: Jay.
Jay is a fat arrogant wvnker and frankly, we don't think much of him
around here. Feel free to troll all his boring cvckwad sites the stupid
cvnt has conveniently listed on the white board there.
Shit-for-brains clerk: D.Ogdays
D.Ogdays brings real-life experience to the boardroom. He's a drug addict.
Agony Aunt: Acephyle
Get offside with her and she will fvcking stab you. STAB YOU.
Professor Emeritus: Flotsam (the cvnt)
.... and then there's the rest of the stupid cvnts whose names I can't remember:
CLIENT TESTIMONIALS
Our clients have the utmost confidence in us. Some of our satisfied clients are listed below.
"I have the utmost confidence in the stupid cvnts at gaijinpot."
- A client.
"Humuor? Humuor doesnt pay for a masters degree. Or a book. Or dogfood.
Or this tea. No, you can't have any of this tea. It's mine. Fvck off."
- PaulH.
"I have a book."
- Glenski (Confederated Turnip Touchers Of Hokkaido Council Representative)
"You are all on report. I side with immigration."
- Glenski (Confederated Turnip Touchers Of Hokkaido Council Representative)
Of course, it's not all high-powered, high-resolution internet brokering
here at http://www.gaijinpot.cc. We know how to let our hairplugs down.
All http://www.gaijinpot.cc members are convivially and cordially invited to
feel free in making use of our vast array of leisure-based activities.
*****STAY OFF THE FVCKING GRASS*****
...and of course, weekly excursions to the seaside.
Speaking of which, FOR THOSE WISHING TO GAIN ACCESS TO THE
EXCLUSIVE "EXPEDITION" THEMED SECTION OF THE FORUM, PLEASE
READ THE FOLLOWING INFORMATION CAREFULLY.
To Apply:
Mail a cover letter that includes your billing details along with your
resume to George Nasr c/o ANSI, 25 West 43rd Street, 4th floor, NY, NY
10036 or e-mail to George_Nasr@aus.org
George Nasr: resume [s]hiffer[/s] reader
Please ensure the following is enclosed with your portfolio;
*A signed, sealed statement from a family pet verifying that
your Intelligence Quotient (I.Q) is still in double digits.
* One passport sized photograph bearing no discernible likeness to you
whatsoever;
Actual likeness
Submitted likeness
The above photos illustrate the minimally acceptable degree of distinction.
Essential Job Responsibilities:
Runs the gamut from
A) being a bit of a cvnt
through to
B) being a cvnt
right through to
C) being a right cvnt.
The successful applicant will be Systems Compliant with Levels A, B, and
C of said protocol.
Required Skills:
* breathing ability.
* Internet Access.
Other Competencies;
* Terrible written and verbal communication skills coupled
with an utter absence of anything resembling guilt or tact.
Qualifications & Experience;
Existence as a Life Performing Entity (L.P.E). That's it.
Let's take a quick tour of the http://www.gaijinpot.cc
subterranean state-of-the-art facilities.
Some sort of "Mission Control" room, fvcked if I know though, really.
No idea who this prick is or what he's doing there.
Ah yes, the local friendly P.O.W's take great pleasure in lovingly
hand-crafting our trolling coordinates for the week. Another
fine example of our committment to cost-cutting and workplace
efficiency. Not to mention International Relations!
Just be sure not to tell the industrious young gents toiling above that the war is over.
We're all on the same team here at http://www.gaijinpot.cc
No paupers graves for hard-grafting geese alumni. After your 1,000th banning, the
management gift you one of these beautiful titanium coffins. Rot in style!
"Sirwanksalot" has three of these already.
The dynamic, corporate team here at http://www.gaijinpot.cc greatly look
forward to your joining our illustrious and tightly-wound team as we strive
to continue being the #1 Internet business-oriented website affiliate.
Yours sincerely,
Robert Murdoch
http://www.gaijinpot.cc
