The story of Hank, AKA: A case of Gaijin wierdness

[amdg]

[Charles]

Ahh now I see what you're getting at. You saw a bad Australian, so now you're afraid of all Australians.

No fear, just loathing. EVERY Ozzie I met was doing something outrageously stupid and disgusting, if not illegal. And it's not just me who thinks that way. Never in my life have I had a hotel manager ask my opinion if he should have a guest arrested (yep, another ozzie).

You're right, it would take 3 of the worst Americans I could find to match the performance of any average ozzie.

[kansaiboy]

Ahh now I see what you're getting at. You saw a bad Australian, so now you're afraid of all Australians.

No fear, just loathing. EVERY Ozzie I met was doing something outrageously stupid and disgusting, if not illegal. And it's not just me who thinks that way. Never in my life have I had a hotel manager ask my opinion if he should have a guest arrested (yep, another ozzie).

You're right, it would take 3 of the worst Americans I could find to match the performance of any average ozzie.

Charles, get a pair...better yet get a clue.... we dont need to be defensive..cuz mate 3:1 offensive and u would run a bloody mile....with ya 2 mates...if u have any..

U cant compare Australians to any other in the world cuz there is just no comparison.... any we are NOT a bloody western country...for fucks sake look at a map... Australia is west of what...? Fiji maybe... try south.....

Cheers to all the southern sons and daughters in the land of the rising sun.. Japan is a better place for having some Australian color mixed into the melting pot.

[kansaiboy]

You are totally non-punk and Johnny hates you..

The guy yakking on his cel phone sitting in the handicapped seats in the subway: Australian

Maybe so if nobody needs the space but Aussies always give up their seats if someone really needs it. Are you just trolling or what? Everyone knows they got hearts of gold down there.

AK your da man...

Charles..ur a joker mate...sorry... ur not even worth a

As for us all being criminals, and doing illegal, stupid etc things around town..( something we Aussies call a good time ) here are some pics for ya...


Just enjoying a night out...( at work )

http://www.its-my-life.net/albums/Japan/res34308.jpg
Crime doesnt pay...but being an Aussie Cop does.... look at the plant in the background real close...

http://www.its-my-life.net/albums/Japan/res34306.jpg
Vacation.....

[Cubed]

For a more truthful depiction of the UK's loyal subjects in the antipodes, check out:

Stupid Australian Personalities

[kansaiboy]

For a more truthful depiction of the UK's loyal subjects in the antipodes, check out:

Stupid Australian Personalities

mate, every time u comment it lacks passion and is utter bullocks...its like saying "want for more truthful depiction of US goto cnn.com or for that matter the bbc"....give me a break...TV personality bashing...no one can compare to us...we out do ourselves. Jason, Kylie, Ozzie, Mr Squiggle.... pls be more original..something that may sting a little....

[Charles]

U cant compare Australians to any other in the world cuz there is just no comparison.... any we are NOT a bloody western country...for fucks sake look at a map... Australia is west of what...? Fiji maybe... try south.....

Yep, we agree on one thing, Oz isn't even a banana republic, let alone a civilized country.

The problem is not so much that ozzies are violent, stupid, lazy, drunken, completely oblivious to their impact on other people, etc etc. The problem is they're PROUD of how bad they are, they think it makes them superior somehow. And then they whine that nobody takes them seriously.

[djgizmoe]

The problem is not so much that ozzies are violent, stupid, lazy, drunken, completely oblivious to their impact on other people, etc etc. The problem is they're PROUD of how bad they are, they think it makes them superior somehow. And then they whine that nobody takes them seriously.

If you graduated with a degree in linguistics, it must have been a correspondence course from Wank Tech. Although American and British English are popular for business reasons and because of the dominance of U.S. movies and media, from a linguists standpoint all world Englishes (including Indian English and even Hawaiian Pidgin) are equally 'valid' (whatever that means). Add to that the fact that some of the world's top sociolinguists (see Diana Eades) ARE Australian, and now you're just talking out of your ass. If you next start telling me that kansai-ben is a corrupt and dirtied version of the 'proper' Tokyo dialect...

As for the Australians and Kiwis I've known in Japan, my friend (Australian) let me crash at his house for over a month and never complained once, while my coworker (Kiwi) turned out to be a snide, womanizing pot-dealer. You take the good with the bad, just like folks from any country.

A few links for linguistics types:
http://www.travel-library.com/pacific/australia/stybr-language.html
http://www.sultry.arts.usyd.edu.au/links/au-ling.html
http://www.blackwell-synergy.com/rd.asp?code=weng&goto=journal

[kurohinge1]

...

You have shown an unhealthy obsession with Aussies that are misbehaving, Charles. Was it born of unrequited love or is it a secret desire to let go and be less prim and proper yourself?

As with all obsessions, you seem blind to the peripheral things - your own misbehaving countrymen, your own anti-social behaviour, the quiet and well behaved Aussies (we have at least two in Japan at present ) and all the others in between. Instead, you step over the English soccer hooligans, conveniently forget the Jon Venables and Robert Thompson types and push past the quiet Aussies in your quest to find and catalogue the minor activities of the odd misbehaving Aussie.

Well, at least you've picked a hobby that will keep you busy - for as long as they make beer, there will be at least one misbehaving Aussie ... and Kiwi, American, Canadian, Scottish, Irish, English and even Japanese.

[maraboutslim]

If you next start telling me that kansai-ben is a corrupt and dirtied version of the 'proper' Tokyo dialect...

Everyone knows that's true, don't they? English is a bit different since its so widespread but with Japanese, there is no question which is proper Japanese and which is country bumpkin or dirty merchant or manzai sideshow Japanese. Right?

[Charles]

You have shown an unhealthy obsession with Aussies that are misbehaving, Charles.

I never gave them a thought, until they continually got in my face during my last trip to Tokyo. I am not usually the type of person to make sweeping generalizations, but every single ozzie I've met personally has been an egregious fucktard. It will take dozens of counterexamples to even the score, and even then, I'll only consider 50% of them to be egregious fucktards. I can only go by the evidence I witness personally.

Perhaps ozzies are not so bad when they're in their own country, but I've never been to Oz so I don't know what they're like at home. Maybe they are more restrained when they know they're in their homeland, full of other ozzie assholes prepared to put the beatdown on them when they get out of line. But they reveled in their assholishness in Japan, where there is no social mechanism to restrain them, and they laughed at what they could get away with. The Ugly Australians make life difficult for all western gaijin, their obnoxious behavior makes all nihonjin treat Westerners with suspicion. I'm speaking out solely to make a clear distinction between the neanderthal ozzies and civilized humans.

[silverfall]

Athens 2004 Olympic results by country, on a per capita analysis*:

1. United States (pop: 293,027,571)
2. China (pop: 1,298,847,624)
3. Russia (pop: 143,782,338)
4. Australia (pop: 19,913,144)
5. Japan (pop: 127,333,002)
6. Germany (pop: 82,424,609)
7. France (pop: 60,424,213)
8. Italy (pop: 58,057,477)
9. South Korea (pop: 48,598,175)
10. Great Britain (pop: 60,270,708)

(*Population statistics from July 2004)

I would just like to point out that as soon as the swimming and aquatic events finished the Australian metal cound dried up as well. You guys are just natural swimmers.

[kurohinge1]

... I am not usually the type of person to make sweeping generalizations, but ...

The British overseas: "The unwelcome hordes? Can they mean us?"

... The typical immigrant from the accession states, according to a recent EC report, is likely to be a 24-year-old single female educated to degree level. What does the east get in return? ... we are sending them a rabble of foul-mouthed drunks on stag weekends.

Prague has long since fallen to the British Visigoths. Sporting silly T-shirts and even more stupid hats, they stumble around the most exquisite medieval city in Europe throwing up on its cobbles and filling the narrow alleys with tribal chants of "show us yer tits". Spared by both the Third Reich and the Red Army, the centre of Prague has seen no mercy from the massed battalions of stag. The police hold Brits responsible for 20 per cent of weekend violence in Prague. Come the summer, our bladdered blokes will reduce a thousand years of culture and history to Gomorrah on the Vltava...

"We used to think you English were nice and polite," says Alje, 26, "but no longer." Lilith, 22, a sales assistant, is also revising her notion of the archetypal Englishman. "They are not interested in our country, our history or what we think," she says ... Maria, a model-pretty student, recalls trying to have a quiet drink with a friend which was interrupted by a bunch of English knobheads who became abusive when their advances were politely rejected ...

Mart Thomson, who manages the millennially chic Pegasus bar in Tallinn, says the stag phenomenon is a specifically British disease. "Italian men are different. They want to get girls by looking cool or making beautiful compliments. But the English, they tend to make barbarian comments like 'Phwoar. You've got a nice arse.'" Mart has banned British men in groups of five or more from his bar, "These people are absolutely nothing in England. But they come here with a few pounds in their pocket and they have purchasing power. Suddenly they've turned into millionaires overnight."

... if I were an easterner I would be scouring the scrapyards of Ljubljana and Vilnius for every bit of metal I could lay my hands on to rebuild the Iron Curtain ...

Leading by example?

Aussies didn't invent behaving badly away from home. I don't know of any nation that doesn't suffer from that problem. But to obsess about one particular nation is abnormal. I suspect that you will will need more than a few sessions to get over this. Shall we make a regular appointment for Thursdays?

[amdg]

I would just like to point out that as soon as the swimming and aquatic events finished the Australian metal cound dried up as well. You guys are just natural swimmers.

Yeah, you're right. The metal cound is the bane of our existence. Doing nothing but voraciously chewing through metal all day and night. But rest assured, our best men are on the job now trying to find out the whereabouts of this evildoer, and once we find him, he will be re-hydrated.

[krimebot]

[eneman]

Shit, I`m Aussie and proud. So proud in fact that I intend jumping a bus next Saturday to swill Aussie beer, eat meat pies and generally degenerate in front of the footy grand final on the tele at a pub in Osaka. And once more for a short time I can feel contented in the company of like-minded souls. Christ, i miss watching some blood sports om TV over here.
So to all you who think Aussies are just beer swilling neanderthals then maybe you will see a couple then, but you`ll also notice the majority just having a bloody good time.
GO THE LIONS

[kotatsuneko]

I have worked with a LOT of australians, and even shared a house with what started as one couple and ended up as about 30 people sharing their half of the place

imho Australians and NewZealenders are better educated, more open minded and aspirational than the average rondoner, tho like the average rondoner (no matter what race they are) there are a fair amount of racists

What struck me was the Austrailan/New Zealenders friendliness and willingness to help, plus a lot of them I worked with knew more about rondon than I did!

on the whole, I would far more share a house or desk with an Australian than a brit! just my tuppence..

[kansaiboy]

Shit, I`m Aussie and proud. So proud in fact that I intend jumping a bus next Saturday to swill Aussie beer, eat meat pies and generally degenerate in front of the footy grand final on the tele at a pub in Osaka. And once more for a short time I can feel contented in the company of like-minded souls. Christ, i miss watching some blood sports om TV over here.
So to all you who think Aussies are just beer swilling neanderthals then maybe you will see a couple then, but you`ll also notice the majority just having a bloody good time.
GO THE LIONS

what times kick off mate...? and where can we see it...?

[Charles]

[quote="krimebot"]...every country has assholes

[kansaiboy]

[Samurai_Jerk]

But only the ozzies are proud of being assholes.

I'm American. I'm an asshole. And I'm proud.

[AssKissinger]

But only the ozzies are proud of being assholes.

I'm American. I'm an asshole. And I'm proud.

Me. too!

I'm starting to like your posts more and more Sammy.

[eneman]

The footy`s on at Murphy`s at Shinsaibashi. I think kickoff is 3pm. So it`s on from about one, I reckon. I`m looking forward to it all. Be expensive but once a year is worth it.

[krimebot]

[Charles]

Americans don't even BEGIN to know the meaning of the word "asshole." They're just little sphincters in comparison to ozzies.

[krimebot]

Charles,
I'm not sure why, but your post got a chuckle out of me.

[kansaiboy]

Americans don't even BEGIN to know the meaning of the word "asshole." They're just little sphincters in comparison to ozzies.

Chuck, be honest...an ozzie blew his load in ur misses right....or was it ur sister..? ur mother...? then i could understand the hostility.... dont take it personally...we are Australian and its our job to do things like that...Jap government even pay us more to do it.

[silverfall]

All this fighting reminds me of a joke that sums everything up perfectly.

Girls between the ages of 18 and 21 are like Asia. virginal and exotic. Between the ages of 22 to 27 they are like Africa hot and unexplored. From 28 to 35 they are like The Americas, open and free with their resources. 36-45 is like Europe. She's thouroughly explored but still has some hidden secrets. Women over 45 are like Australia, you know they are they but nobody gives a damn.