Getting married, need advice... no joke!

[halfnip]

I could be wrong, but I also think it is different for newly weds and people who have already been married for 5 years or more.

You are both correct. Married for over 2 years and have been in Japan at least 6 months prior to applying... Still will not know how long it takes until actually applying.

I wonder if AK is still waiting on his wife's Visa. Maybe I better not get him started...

[AlbertSiegel]

Geeze! I nearly forgot about this topic. It will have been a year on Feb 19 since I got married. My wife, Kyoko, is back in Tokyo for her interview at the embassy on Feb 11. She should have her visa within five days after that. The total time will have been a year to get her a US visa. It has taken far longer than I expected.

I did all the paperwork myself and there were no delays or issues. I can only imagine how long it would take if something went wrong. Good luck to those of you who are considering bringing your j-spouse to the United States.

[james]

Actually, a lot of these new laws regarding international marriage have been pushed through by the feminist left. They want to do anything they can to keep American men from enjoying life.

"american woman... stay away from me-ee.."

[Mulboyne]

I did all the paperwork myself and there were no delays or issues.

Albert, a year's a long time but congratulations on jumping through all the hoops on your own. Here's hoping the last leg goes smoothly for you both.

[omae mona]

Congrats, Albert. What an ordeal. I feel terrible for anybody who has to wait that long.

If I recall, you had some awful luck and had to do this during the period where overseas embassy processing was temporarily shut down. For anybody else attempting this, the processing time should be a lot less than one year if the application is done at the US Embassy instead of directly in the U.S. The hiatus seems to have ended.

[ColinizeR]

Hi guys and gals,

I am married to a Japanese and live in Perth, Western Australia...my wife got her permanent residency for Australia with relatively few problems, apart from a shitload of paperwork and $2000 application fee. We have been married for a few years now and don't intend to live in Japan at present. I was wondering though if we ever wanted to move back, for a year or two, is there some gaijin spouse residency that I have to apply for? We got married in Australia and have travelled several times to Japan since, but have never stayed for more than a couple of weeks at a time...so I haven't worried about it....her marriage is registered with the Japanese Consulate etc, as she had to apply for a new passport with a different surname (marriage name)...Also, if we ever have kids....are they considered to be Japanese or not?

Anybody know? I would appreciate

Colin

[kusai Jijii]

Hi Colin.
I'm Ozzie too. My wife also had Ozzie PR, though it has been nullified as we have been living outside of Oz for more than 5 years.

To answer your questions as simply as I can:

1) as your marriage is registered in Japan, you will be eligible for a spouse visa should you decide to live in Japn.

2) if you have kids, provided you register the birth with the Japanese authorities, they will have Japanese citizenship. Technically, Japan only recognizes duel citizenship for minors (i.e. until the age of 20, such that when someone reaches that age, they are requested to renounce one of their nationalities). This however is no great issue in practice, there are ways around the bullshit. It would take too long to explain the ins-and-outs, and will probably change in the 20-something years that you have in front of you before you have to worry about it, but suffice to say, its no biggie.

Hope this helps,

KJ.

[james]

Hi guys and gals,

I am married to a Japanese and live in Perth, Western Australia...my wife got her permanent residency for Australia with relatively few problems, apart from a shitload of paperwork and $2000 application fee. We have been married for a few years now and don't intend to live in Japan at present. I was wondering though if we ever wanted to move back, for a year or two, is there some gaijin spouse residency that I have to apply for? We got married in Australia and have travelled several times to Japan since, but have never stayed for more than a couple of weeks at a time...so I haven't worried about it....her marriage is registered with the Japanese Consulate etc, as she had to apply for a new passport with a different surname (marriage name)...Also, if we ever have kids....are they considered to be Japanese or not?

Anybody know? I would appreciate

Colin

$2000 .. wow.. and i thought canada was bad. granted it was 10 years ago when i was looking at the application for my wife, we were looking at about $900 if i recall. perhaps it's gone up since then. we never completed the app as we decided to come here instead.

anyway, to answer your question, yes, there is a spousal visa and now with your marriage registered in both countries should not be overly difficult to obtain. if i'm not mistaken, i applied for mine at the japanese embassy in ottawa before coming over and had it within the span of a couple months. with that, you're basically good to do anything while over here (work, study, loaf). i think for a spousal visa, the term is typically three years (though my first may have been one year). there have been discussions of recent with respect to spousal visa terms being lengthened to five years. not sure if this is already a done thing or not.

as for your kids.. i'm reasonably sure that, if born outside of japan, as long as you registered their birth at the embassy, they'd be formally recognized as japanese citizens. they would have de-facto dual citizenship until 20 (if i'm not mistaken) at which point, at least in theory, they have to choose.

again, search the threads, there are a number of discussions about taking japanese citizenship, "renouncing" one's citizenship etc. i think basically what it boils down to is that to take japanese citizenship you have to officially renounce your current citizenshp, but many countries have a provision for this or simply don't acknowledge the renouncement. i don't think japan (or any other country) can decide on behalf of your country of origin that you are no longer one of their citizens.

[ColinizeR]

Thanks for the info...yeah $2000 was a lot of money....it used to be much cheaper i think..but Im not sure...but we were happy to pay it...Australia has a higher standard of living than Japan for the most part, although after living here for 25 years, Im itching to live somewhere else at least for a while. It would help me get to know my wife's friends and family better too...however

I just got a teaching scholarship to become a Japanese teacher in WA high schools, so after I finish my Graduate Diploma in Education and Certificate IV in Japanese at TAFE, I will move to the country to teach for four years. The Government has thrown a shitload of money at me to do it....I will have to stop being so lazy and start studying every day...Might even have to have a crack at some of those JLPT tests. So basically I am gunna get paid to study Japanese even more....perfect! At this rate I might be fluent in 25 years

Quit my job this week! Whooo!

CoLiN

[Greji]

The Government has thrown a shitload of money at me to do it....I will have to stop being so lazy and start studying every day...Might even have to have a crack at some of those JLPT tests. So basically I am gunna get paid to study Japanese even more....perfect! At this rate I might be fluent in 25 years

Let us know where you be locating to in the mighty J and with all that government grant, I'm sure a lot of us will want to meet up with you expecting a shout!

[Iraira]

The Government has thrown a shitload of money at me to do it

When I was a stripper people used to throw money at me...sadly it was generally pennies and nickels with an odd assortment of bottle caps and an ocassional ashtray.

[AlbertSiegel]

Well...... that was a "fun" three years! The marriage is about to end. We will be going our separate ways in the near future. Many lessons were learned on both our parts. She is keeping my dog and I am keeping my stuff. All in all, not a bad end since we both want it over.

[CrankyBastard]

Well...... that was a "fun" three years! The marriage is about to end. We will be going our separate ways in the near future. Many lessons were learned on both our parts. She is keeping my dog and I am keeping my stuff. All in all, not a bad end since we both want it over.

Three years!!! GeeZus....I've kept library books longer than that.

[AssKissinger]

Well...... that was a "fun" three years! The marriage is about to end. We will be going our separate ways in the near future. Many lessons were learned on both our parts. She is keeping my dog and I am keeping my stuff. All in all, not a bad end since we both want it over.

As long as you were smart enough to not have kids no harm no foul.

[FG Lurker]

As long as you were smart enough to not have kids no harm no foul.

As soon as I saw your name as the most recent poster I knew exactly what you were going to say. (Can't say I disagree though.)

[hanasims]

Well...... that was a "fun" three years! The marriage is about to end. We will be going our separate ways in the near future.

Don't worry importing a Japanese bride to the States almost never works out. Three years is pretty average. The max is five.

[AlbertSiegel]

As long as you were smart enough to not have kids no harm no foul.

I did all I could to avoid kids. I wanted to wait a few years to see how it worked out. Good thing!

:rofl: As soon as I saw your name as the most recent poster I knew exactly what you were going to say. (Can't say I disagree though.)

LOL! Thanks! We tried to keep things going, but I finally gave up and told her I wanted to move on. She was a bit shocked for some reason.

Don't worry importing a Japanese bride to the States almost never works out. Three years is pretty average. The max is five.

The import was only meant to be for two years max. The plan was to return to Japan but she has changed her mind and want's to stay in the United States. Our career plans are too different to work out and I really do not see things working out in the long run. I decided to do what would have obviously come to pass anyway in the near future.

[hanasims]

Our career plans are too different to work out and I really do not see things working out in the long run. I decided to do what would have obviously come to pass anyway in the near future.

Good job on being strong enough to do the right thing. You saved yourself a huge headache.

I hope a lot of other people who are considering marriage read this thread from start to finish. A good lesson learned and a respectable outcome for all involved.

[FG Lurker]

LOL! Thanks! We tried to keep things going, but I finally gave up and told her I wanted to move on. She was a bit shocked for some reason.

Well, that was aimed at AK actually, he's against pretty much anyone having kids...

Glad things seem to be winding down fairly amicably for you, hope they continue along that line and that it all ends for the best.

[Bucky]

she has changed her mind and want's to stay in the United States.

We did a story in our Japanese newspaper in Seattle a few years back about the number of Japanese women who have divorced and have decided to remain in the US. Many of them feel that there is just more opportunity for them in the US. I am not surprised your bride wants to stay in the U.S.

[traycerb]

Well...... that was a "fun" three years! The marriage is about to end. We will be going our separate ways in the near future. Many lessons were learned on both our parts.
[...]
Our career plans are too different to work out and I really do not see things working out in the long run.

was it just careers or was there any cultural component to it?

[AssKissinger]

We did a story in our Japanese newspaper in Seattle a few years back about the number of Japanese women who have divorced and have decided to remain in the US. Many of them feel that there is just more opportunity for them in the US. I am not surprised your bride wants to stay in the U.S.

That's the tune they sing but the truth is in Japan they're just another standard piece of snatch but in Seattle they're high-octane Asian pussy. They don't give fuck about no job. They just want to ditch the eikaiwa loser or military dipshit they married and grab someone with some bank. Albert, since you're getting divorced anyway how 'bout some nudes?

[Samurai_Jerk]

That's the tune they sing but the truth is in Japan they're just another standard piece of snatch but in Seattle they're high-octane Asian pussy. They don't give fuck about no job. They just want to ditch the eikaiwa loser or military dipshit they married and grab someone with some bank. Albert, since you're getting divorced anyway how 'bout some nudes?

Nice theory but Seattle is one of those cities where average looking J-girls girls don't have a lot of value. Too much local yellow pussy to compete with.

[Kurofune]

Albert, I'm sorry to hear that things didn't work out. If it's not too personal, what were some of the lessons you and she learned?

[Bucky]

That's the tune they sing but the truth is in Japan they're just another standard piece of snatch but in Seattle they're high-octane Asian pussy. They don't give fuck about no job. They just want to ditch the eikaiwa loser or military dipshit they married and grab someone with some bank. Albert, since you're getting divorced anyway how 'bout some nudes?

Interestingly enough about 40% of them are ditching Japanese husbands. I presume they are not interested in returning to Japan and having to conform to a Japanese okusan expectations.

And in follow up to SJ's comment, there are many Asian females to be found in Seattle.

[AruOjisan]

Wow, read through the entire thread... Sorry to hear about your situation, Alberto--but good that it seems to have worked out amicably.

I second (or third) the sentiment that it would be great if you shared whatever experiences you could regarding the J-Girl-to-wife import experience.

Thanks,

[AssKissinger]

Nice theory but Seattle is one of those cities where average looking J-girls girls don't have a lot of value. Too much local yellow pussy to compete with.

Seattle ain't Osaka dude.

Interestingly enough about 40% of them are ditching Japanese husbands.

It's not who they're ditching it's who they're trading them in for.

there are many Asian females to be found in Seattle

It ain't Osaka dude.

[Samurai_Jerk]

Seattle ain't Osaka dude.



It's not who they're ditching it's who they're trading them in for.



It ain't Osaka dude.

How many years have you lived in Seattle?

[AssKissinger]

I used to live there but not any more. Less than a year. Wasn't able to score any Asian cunt there either.

[AlbertSiegel]

was it just careers or was there any cultural component to it?

A little of both. I am not willing to give up my career and I would not ask her to give up her career either. As for the cultural component, yes we are just too different. She is far too traditional at times and I am too American. We have made it work for three years, but it really was a great deal of work. I asked my self if she and I would have ended things long ago if not married and with that in mind I decided it best to end things now rather than reach the same conclusion later. I simply feel it will not work out no matter how long we try.

Albert, I'm sorry to hear that things didn't work out. If it's not too personal, what were some of the lessons you and she learned?

No worries, I'm a very open person.

Some lessons I learned...

1. Always live with someone for a few years before you decide to marry them. Do not move in after you get married.

2. Really explore all personal thoughts and opinions no matter how personal they may before you commit to a long term change like marriage and moving overseas.

3. Really understand what the changes in the long-term mean and if you're really willing to accept them.

4. Have more in common than you simply enjoys each-others company. Dating and marriage are too vastly different things.

5. Truly communicate everything no matter how uncomfortable and personal a subject may be. You will have a better understanding of your partner and yourself than you think.

There are many more lessons learned and yet to be learned, but that's all I can think of for now. In the end I think we both just changed and moved in different directions. The seeds for this change were there when we started and eventually we came to this result.

I really feel bad for her as she would have kept the marriage going a little longer and says I've humiliated her enough. I imagine it's not a good feeling for her as her brother was left by his wife also after three years. I do not want to cause her harm or embarrassment, but that's not enough of a reason to keep a failed marriage going as it will cause more harm in the long run.

I think this is the best decision for both of us even though it's a difficult one. I simply want us both to be happy.