"Fuck Baseball" or "Dear god, I need rubbers&

[devicenull]

well, new girl... who apparently didnt like the idea of bases or baseball... after the 3rd pitch she kinda just rushed the batter

the problem, is that it's not easy to find a helmet that is big enough here and noone knows where to get one. the foreign players bring their own, and the chinese go to the plate without one.

Where can I find a helmet fit for a foreigner in Beijing?

edit: it's a strange forum we have...that & should be a "

[djgizmoe]

Did I miss something?

[maraboutslim]

Mail order Helmets? Quick shopping trip to Los Angeles?

[GuyJean]

Not sure if they ship to China, buuuut..

http://store.yahoo.com/physlabs/personal-care-family-plannning-condoms.html

GJ

[devicenull]

Mail order Helmets? Quick shopping trip to Los Angeles?

No time or money to visit the Home Field unfortunately. So I lost that advantage, but I seem to be doing pretty well in this ball park.

But their damned gear is designed to fit the locals
Yea, I might end up having to have some helmets shipped from back home... but till then, dunno what.

[SF'd Gaijin]

Device,

Yeah, You are a lucky man to be able to participate in the China League.

You might want to try sliding into home plate without the helmet, but make sure the catcher is prepared to get messy around the letters of the jersey as the infield may be somewhat damp. You can practice that until the helmets arrive from the states.

SF'd

[devicenull]

Device,

Yeah, You are a lucky man to be able to participate in the China League.

You might want to try sliding into home plate without the helmet, but make sure the catcher is prepared to get messy around the letters of the jersey as the infield may be somewhat damp. You can practice that until the helmets arrive from the states.

SF'd

Well, we are both worried about wild pitches, neither of us want that hassle.

[American Oyaji]

This thread is hilarious!

[oyajikun]

T-ball?

[devicenull]

T-ball?

No man, I am in the big leagues now. I got drafted a while ago and called up to the majors much faster than even I thought I would, and I am making a good impression on the other team.

[SF'd Gaijin]

T-ball?

No man, I am in the big leagues now. I got drafted a while ago and called up to the majors much faster than even I thought I would, and I am making a good impression on the other team.

The China Leagues are the big leagues. The thing is there are so many players....over a billion. You are such a lucky man to have been drafted into that league. Can you provide more details about any special plays you have made in the field? Do you boast a "gold glove"?

SF'd

[Big Booger]

YOu could just call in a pinch hitter and relieve yourself with a reliever. This might work depending on the rules of Chinese ball play.

[cstaylor]

Don't you have a bat boy for these kinds of situations? What about calling in a favor from a teammate you used to play with in the Japanese leagues? They could ship you a set of equipment.

[devicenull]

T-ball?

No man, I am in the big leagues now. I got drafted a while ago and called up to the majors much faster than even I thought I would, and I am making a good impression on the other team.

The China Leagues are the big leagues. The thing is there are so many players....over a billion. You are such a lucky man to have been drafted into that league. Can you provide more details about any special plays you have made in the field? Do you boast a "gold glove"?

SF'd

My catcher and I go to the same school, so I have a chance to play ball a lot. I watched a lot of the games on TV in Japan, played a little ball myself, and found that while the Japan profressional leagues have some good ideas, they are not good at making sure the catcher is having a good time playing too. I speak the same language as the rest of the league and infiltrated the local strategy board for the school... catcher was impressed and I held the game up for rain delay for awhile. Let the catcher make the calls, and have the catcher decide she wants to play more. Catcher thinks she is in control of the game, but the batter is playing with her a bit.

As for bat boys... I looked into some american gear, but it is a little confusing and after sizing myself up for a helmet, I found that while I could do an O17, I am better off in a B17 to make my bombing runs when we go flying together after the game.

-------------->8---------- cut lingo here ------------------>8----------------

Everything is like 1.5", I need a 1.75-1.8ish for this shit to work out right... length, I'm normal I guess. :P

[SF'd Gaijin]

Device,

Baseball is a very interesting game, and I am a big fan. Thanks for the details regarding your last few games. I agree that the catcher should specify the pitch with a sign, and when the pitcher is in agreement and throws a strike....now that is the essense of the game.

SF'd

One more thing...

Chinese women are hot!!!

[Blah Pete]

I'd volunteer to be a pich hitter but if the wife found out I would end up a free agent.

As an alternative some catchers also chew tabacco.

[devicenull]

[cstaylor]

Since we're posting photos of our team members here, here's the catcher from ours. She's been on the team for almost ten years now.

[AssKissinger]

[SF'd Gaijin]

[kamome]

It's not her best picture, she looks better in person.

I'd say a 4 on a scale of 1 to 10.

[devicenull]

^^^Actually, I would put her closer to a 7 if you saw her in person... again, that's not a good picture^^^

Well, turns out I just got a review of the play.. here's what happened.
After the 3rd pitch in the 1st inning, the catcher called for a wild pitch and got it. She then chased the batter to 1st and 2nd, and was more than willing for 3rd followed by a nice slide into home. The batter, confused at the wildness of the pitch so early in the game obliged and came inches from home, but didn't slide in due to both players lacking proper gear. The catcher rushed again and gave the batter a blowjob just away from home.

The catcher then called a mulligan and said the wild pitch was a mistake and doesn't want the game to go so crazy so fast, and that normal baseball is better. The batter now wants to stab himself in the penis with a knife.

A MULLIGAN IN BASEBALL?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?! Catcher made up new rules.. gah.

-------------->8----cut lingo------------------------->8-------------------------

Really though, there is something great between us, it's really fucking weird and she knew that rushing would ruin it and turn it into something she doesn't want it to be. This is really really weird actually. Apparently, she had some dream one night from childhood that she would marry a foreigner who was just like her. To her, she found him, and that caused the rush when she realized it. She has been laughing this childhood memory off for YEARS and it hit her that night... finally clicked. I dunno, she talks about scary shit like marriage, and for some reason it doesn't scare me like it should. She has made a great effort to inform me about everything she can about her to make sure we are compatible. She has been running her own damn tests too, just like me trying to see what her motives were. This girl is SOOO not like a typical Chinese that it's almost scary. Her hometown isn't very big, but she doesn't really care what the locals think, and she has also shocked her parents too much in the past for them to get pissed/worried about what she does.

edit: she is either very smart and knew that this shit was going too fast. Or she is evil as hell and gave me a taste so she can own me. Not sure yet

[SF'd Gaijin]

Device,

Don't want to be giving advice or sound like I am talking down to someone, so hope you take it with the positive spirit that it is meant from a fellow senior Gaijin player.

There are millions, perhaps billions, of female ball players in the China League. Sounds like perhaps your final edit was a good possibility in that this player wanted to give you a taste (blow) of honey in an attempt to lock you into a long term contract.

Depending on your age, I would suggest that you think twice before signing any contracts. Take into consideration that you may not still be a permanent player, as you still have your degree or profession you are working toward before you sign the big league contract.

It is tough out there in China as there are so many attractive catchers in the league, so please take it one base at a time and do not get thrown out by trying to rush a stolen base too soon in the game.

Take Care and enjoy your life in China.

SF'd

[devicenull]

Device,

Don't want to be giving advice or sound like I am talking down to someone, so hope you take it with the positive spirit that it is meant from a fellow senior Gaijin player.

There are millions, perhaps billions, of female ball players in the China League. Sounds like perhaps your final edit was a good possibility in that this player wanted to give you a taste (blow) of honey in an attempt to lock you into a long term contract.

Depending on your age, I would suggest that you think twice before signing any contracts. Take into consideration that you may not still be a permanent player, as you still have your degree or profession you are working toward before you sign the big league contract.

It is tough out there in China as there are so many attractive catchers in the league, so please take it one base at a time and do not get thrown out by trying to rush a stolen base too soon in the game.

Take Care and enjoy your life in China.

SF'd

Yea, there are indeed a lot of attractive catchers out there, but too many of them want to quit their league and get into yours. It's hard to find someone who wants you to play in their league and is happy staying put. Anyways, she is either smart or evil. She acted on impulse before and I can tell she regrets it. I can handle slowing the game down a little though, she makes it really fun to play in this league. I am just a trying out this catcher so far, but she looks to be a good one, not going to sign any long-term contracts without reading the fine print, but so far, the offer looks like it would be a good one without much negotiation needed.

[cstaylor]

I believe its league rules not to sign rookies in their first year. We didn't sign our catcher to the permanent roster until she was into her sixth season.

[Big Booger]

My question is how did she handle the bat? Did she choke up on it properly and take a full swing? Or did she dip it too lightly while dodging the balls?

[devicenull]

My question is how did she handle the bat? Did she choke up on it properly and take a full swing? Or did she dip it too lightly while dodging the balls?

We stopped short of sliding into home, and right now, we are both glad we did. She holds the bat all wrong, so very very wrong, but was willing to take advice. She was a trooper though, got the whole bat into her mouth somehow.


WHY IS IT THAT NO FEMALE CATCHERS CAN FUCKING HOLD A BAT RIGHT?

[cstaylor]

WHY IS IT THAT NO FEMALE CATCHERS CAN FUCKING HOLD A BAT RIGHT?

Since they aren't born with one, they require training. Same could be said for pitchers handling the catcher's equipment.

[American Oyaji]

This has got to be one of the funniest threads to ever hit FG.

[jingai]

The China Leagues are the big leagues. The thing is there are so many players....over a billion.

Well... only a billion players if you're into switch-hitting. Otherwise you're stuck in one league or another.