Reverse culture shock

[AlbertSiegel]

There are many topics as to why you came to Japan, but I wanted to ask why you left Japan and what it was like to return home. Life in Japan can be very hard to adjust to, but I think it is even more difficult to readjust to life at home.

When I returned home a year and a half ago, it was so difficult for me to deal with it. I did not want to leave my home for three weeks. All the English everywhere was like an overload on my brain. I was fine with everything after a month.

And so I ask, what was reverse culture shock like for you?

[Mulboyne]

Let's kick off with a couple of comments from old threads

Japslapper wrote in this thread

One of the biggest problems about going home is reverse culture shock. I found when I went home - nobody in family or my old buddies could relate to Japan. You go back, idiom,subculture and people have moved on as have you.

I'm sure it's not good etiquette to quote yourself but I wrote the following before in Vir-jin's old thread:

After living here for two years and returning home, I felt very disconnected from my friends' lives and from the city I thought I knew so well - and that was uncomfortable. After a few more years of coming-and-going, I found a balance. I didn't know what was on TV a year ago and, no, I didn't know that restaurant had closed but my friends didn't need me to know. So I gave up trying to keep up with their day-to-day lives and just worked out the important bits. Still, the toughest thing is explaining to a non-FG what Japan means to you. Watch their eyes glaze over as you say "But in Japan..." for the fifth time.

Also - FG Thread: Canada Not The Same As Japan

I actually met a bloke who didn't want to leave Japan because he was concerned about reverse culture shock. I told him he was barking mad.

[AssKissinger]

I'm living in a really hardcore Jesus zone so it's a little scary. I'm not sure if I'm suffering from reverse culture shock or just lingering long term standard gaijin mental illness. My problem is deeper than culture shock I think. I am a ghost man with no culture. I'm like an uprooted tree floating around in the eye wall of a slow motion hurricane that's raining LSD and mushrooms. Can you dig it?

One of my all time favorite threads here

http://fuckedgaijin.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=11390&highlight=ghost

[FG Lurker]

And so I ask, what was reverse culture shock like for you?

It was a nightmare.

I came to Japan first in 1993 and stayed for about a year. When I came to Japan I expected everything to be different from home (Canada). Of course it was, so I got what I expected. Sure, there were tough times and times of stress, but a lot of stuff I could set aside and say, "Well, it's just different here." By the time a year had passed I was pretty well adjusted to being an FG working part time on a Working Holiday Visa.

Then I went home... Of course going home I expected everything to be "normal". And of course it was!! The problem was that my perception of what "normal" should be was no longer the same as the reality of life in Canada. What made it even harder was that I had no idea that this was going to happen... So, I had changed, but Canada had not.

I managed to stay in my hometown in Southwestern Canada for about 2 weeks before I started to go insane. I really couldn't handle it. And of course no one around me could relate to what I was going through...and frankly they weren't that interested either (not surprising since they had no basis to understand it.) I considered two options, one was going to Europe for awhile and traveling, the other was buying a car and driving all over Canada and the States for a couple of months.

I decided for various reasons to travel Canada and the States. So I bought a used Toyota, packed up and left. I drove across Canada, down the East Coast of the US into Florida, then through the Southern US to California and finally back up the West Coast. 25,000km in 2.5 months. All that driving must have been therapeutic because by the time I got home I was about as well balanced and adjusted as I ever am.

Reverse culture shock is definitely real and very hard to manage.

[Greji]

And so I ask, what was reverse culture shock like for you?

It was a nightmare. -snip- Reverse culture shock is definitely real and very hard to manage.

I agree with Lurk, although I have not gone home or to the States for anything longer than a week to ten days, I definately had problem communicating with a lot of the people. They either didn't have the slightest idea of what I was saying, or it was the simple shit, what are the geishas like and will the kamikaze rise again! The stupid questions that should be laughable, really began to get on my nerves.

Also, it takes a bit to get re-oriented to the simple everyday things and learning about everything that is new or new systems or methods of doing things.

Returning to Japan, I actually felt like the J-people always say on their return to Japan! Buji ni Kaeta. Yokkata!

I would hate to think of moving back and trying to get totally adjusted again!

[Reddeville]

My opinion is it depends on just what you went thru in Japan - that`ll decide the extent of your culture shock in reverse when you go home. Goin back home when I decide to is gonna be a reverse culture revelling.

No ugly ass old women shoving their pig faces in mine and bitching about this and that - and asking me for money for their pathetic lives` activities in the neighborhood. No continuous lies coming out of mouths - cmon, everybody lies but Japanese culture elevates it to the point where the society here honestly can`t distinguish between lies and truth.

Even if I don`t want to kick the shit out of some running off at the mouth Japanese person, I want to tell them to stop and assess whether they understand the difference between putting on an act and the truth, telling habitual lies most times of the day and the truth, and the difference between the idea of something and the thing itself.

No having to cope with and humor drones who repeat ad nauseum what`s been drummed into them at school, by tv, by their bosses, their mother whoever - the Japanese version of reality which is more whacko than Jacko. Out of all the stresses of living in a foreign country, the Japanese impose these ones on you.

Back in the old USA - it`ll be a pleasure to chill and do my own thing without these interfering, anal retentive control freaks that constitute a lot of Japanes society.

I`ll revell in public toilets with paper, being able to answer back to rude losers, being able to watch so many different tv channels that give different perspectives, being able to buy great quality stuff at cheap prices, being able to pay low prices for low quality things - not be jacked everyday for shit stuff that costs the earth. To be able to access a legal sytem relatively easily and cheaply.

It`ll be ace not have to pay these lowlife thieves called landagents fees that should have been discontinued when their purpose was. To have my apartment/house fixed when it needs fixing - not lyingassholes saying it`s not in the contract.

It`ll be a welcome change not have to have a jackass coming and whining at me to pay for the Official Right Wing TV Station of Japan. To have consumer rights. To not have to listen to the Japanese bleating about how they were and are `victims of World War 2 when they wanted peace and their kamikaze pilots died for peace`. To not have to tolerate right wingers like Shitharo Ishihara, still spreading their intolerance and hatred with no reaction except from a tiny minority, no questioning, no having to resign from office.

Reverse culture shock - yep, it`s gonna be hard to take!

[FG Lurker]

Back in the old USA - it`ll be a pleasure to chill and do my own thing without these interfering, anal retentive control freaks [...]

I think you're in for a nasty surprise.

Anyway, if you hate Japan that much then get the fuck out. There is no point in being miserable when you don't have to be.

[Reddeville]

Ha ha, what a stirred up angry little ant Mr Lurker is! A little pissant, trying to piss on my words but just ending up looking like a loser. And a troll. Didn`t you know fuckedgaijin come exists for people to say what`s on their mind about Japan - even when it doesn`t conform to the happy four seasons lovely Japanese stereotype that only fools perpetuate.

If you`re so happy with Japan, then why are you following people around doing your own Insecure Gaijin Complex posting to put them in their supposed place. Just like an insecure Japanese person would. Your handle should be the Lurking Troll. Snicker.

Yeah, yeah, we all know you want to stay here - which maybe says volumes about your life pre-Japan. Chuckle. Luckily for me I had a good life in the US. And little ant, pissing your pants over my first post, I said reverse culture shock depends on your experiences. Nothing anybody could disagree with - except for little pissants. Little loser!

[Reddeville]

And go ahead - contradict what I said on my post about my experiences of Japan. Piss your little pants about this post.

Tell me NHK is a wonderful, progressive unbiased tv station. Tell me I can get all sorts of perspectives from tv programmes here. Tell me ugly assed old bitches aren`t thieving my hard earned money for their personal uses (ie Japanese uses). Chuckle - that hurt you cause your wife is probably one of them!

Tell me landagents don`t demand fees that were only there for a specific purpose after World War 2. Tell me how much you love unrefundable deposits that are called `refundable` - maybe you`re a lying sob as well. Takes one to defend one! Snicker. Tell me the legal system in Japan doesn`t grind on cases for years and years - and its costs don`t stop usual peeps from getting any kind of justice over matters great and small.

Tell me how wonderful the paper-less toilets everywhere are - wait, you`re a little ant so when you`re not pissing your pants over my posts and reassuring your Japanese spouse, relatives and friends that Japan is a land of four seasons where the charming Japanese dwell in harmony and there is no racism because we are all Japanse etc etc, you`re pissing way down somewhere there.

I could go on but you`ll keep running your mouth powered by lies just like the custom here is, so I`ll let you. Piss on! After all, you`re stuck here. I`m free to go back to other jobs but you`re the classic economic refugee which is why you have to piss your pants about posts that don`t repeat the same Japanese myths.

[FG Lurker]

Uh, no, I don't think the "angry little pissant" here is me.........

If you've failed miserably here and therefore hate it....well, that's not my problem. See sig for further details.

[Reddeville]

Nah, you`ve got no options. That`s why you stay. You`re a refugee who can`t cut it in your own country.

If you were a successful fucked gaijin you wouldn`t show your insecurity so clearly by chasing around after posters who tell it like it. You`re a sad troll. Piss on!

[ichigo partygirl]

Redville it sounds like you are just not right for Japan. The thing with is place is you either love hate it or hate it. You hate it. Its not Japan which is the problem, its you being here that is.

Goodluck back in the US when you return. I doubt you will find it as open and free as you think.

When i went home the first time i had trouble using adjectives. Ok that sounds weird i know but when speaking Japanese i generally only use a handful or so of adjectives. Trying to describe a meal beyond tasty, ok and not nice was difficult

[FG Lurker]

Nah, you`ve got no options. That`s why you stay. You`re a refugee who can`t cut it in your own country.

I'd wager that I have more options here than you have both here and in the US...combined.

If you were a successful fucked gaijin you wouldn`t show your insecurity so clearly by chasing around after posters who tell it like it. You`re a sad troll. Piss on!

I simply suggested that if you hate it here you should leave. It's good advice. You say I am stuck here, yet you hate it but don't leave. Who's the one who is stuck?

[Reddeville]

Since when has being critical of some of the shitty aspects of Japan qualified as hating it? If you like the things I`ve outlined that`s your choice. If you don`t like them or hate them that`s your choice too.

Can you honestly tell me that the experiences that are great about the US are not? Can you honestly tell me the experiences that are shit about Japan are not? Of course you can`t. They`re my experiences. Did I ever post on this board pissing my pants about your posts? Nope.

Did I ever follow FC Lurker around pissing my pants about his posts that from other perspectives, not just mine, are skewed towards the Japanese version of reality? Nope!

From these kind of posts I can only conclude that some fuckedgaijins have problems with their lives in their home countries. I don`t. I`m not an economic refugee, or somebody who can`t fit in with my previous life in the US. I also don`t have to praise the Japanese for their fucked aspects and I don`t have to accept these fucked practises as normal. If you do, that`s your choice.

[Reddeville]

On the evidence of your posts. You follow me around when I don`t echo the Japanese version of reality. You didn`t even try to contribute any examples. I don`t post much and when I do - you latch on to me. You`ve got issues buddy.

I don`t post much on fuckedgaijin because I have a life to lead - from my experience on this board, those posters like you who follow around posters like me who highlight Japan`s very real negative aspects clearly have issues. What did you have to say about reverse culture shock? Jack -you wanted to piss your pants at my post. You still haven`t been able to make a case against what I wrote originally.

If you didn`t have issues you`d have answered the starter of this topic, instead of pissing your pants trying to defend Japan by ignoring the examples I give in my posts.

[FG Lurker]

Since when has being critical of some of the shitty aspects of Japan qualified as hating it? If you like the things I`ve outlined that`s your choice. If you don`t like them or hate them that`s your choice too.

You're so full of anger and hate that you can't even see it anymore.

I have never said that Japan is perfect. It most definitely is not. Neither is the US. Neither is Canada. No place is.

I choose to live here, and I enjoy it. If you like I will spell out specifically why I like it here, and the things I have done to make my life here very good.

Honestly, if I felt the way you do, I would leave. I would have left long before it got to the point you are at now. You're needlessly making your own life miserable, and you're directing some of your anger at me for pointing that out.

Good luck in the US.

(I did respond to the original poster of this thread actually. I think in your hurry to express your anger and hate you missed that...)

[Reddeville]

You`ve certainly adopted the Japanese custom of indirectness, Lurking Troll. You now decide to address (in your own tunnel-vision way) at least part of what I wrote in my response to the original poster. Congrats!

Even so, your habit of following me around when I come out of the woodwork to post shows there`s something about my observations on Japan that make you feel insecure. That`s your problem, buddy.

And Ichigo Girl - forgot to tell you that I come from the West Coast of the USA, from a place where there`s a relatively big (relatively) population of Japanese - both students and permanent residents/before, now citizens.

Not one of my Japanese in US friends (friends, note - people I know well) has ever disagreed with me when I go back home and complain about neighbors in your face and some other things. Those are among the reasons some of these Japanese people will stay out of there as long as they can.

[FG Lurker]

You`ve certainly adopted the Japanese custom of indirectness, Lurking Troll. You now decide to address (in your own tunnel-vision way) at least part of what I wrote in my response to the original poster. Congrats!

You've totally lost me here... I have no clue wtf you are trying to say. Do you want me to specifically address your bitchings from the previous posts? Some of what you said has truth in it, and certainly everyone has a right to state things they don't like. It's not the specific points Red, but it is the obvious anger and hate that you push out with them. The anger and hate are why I say you should leave.

Even so, your habit of following me around when I come out of the woodwork to post shows there`s something about my observations on Japan that make you feel insecure. That`s your problem, buddy.

Don't flatter yourself. I neither look for your posts nor follow you around. If I happen to be in a thread that you add some worthless bitching drivel to then I will probably point that out. As I have here.

[james]

seriously, you sound like you're going to have an aneurysm or something. pack your bags and leave if you're that unhappy. not trying to be down on you, but why stay here if you're that miserable?

[Reddeville]

I`ll make sure I`ll pass your proscription on disliking negative aspects of Japan on to my Japanese friends in the US.

And thanx for letting us all know that you have bestowed on yourself moderator powers to drive out the critics of Japan according to your own skewed criteria.

Just the kind of thing I`d expect from somebody not genuinely at ease with their life in Japan and not comfortable socially and economically in their home country.

And James - maybe this rush out of the woodwork to tell me to go home (I do every year for a holiday and it`s fantastic - thanks!) says something about other posters. Hint hint.

[james]

And thanx for letting us all know that you have bestowed on yourself moderator powers to drive out the critics of Japan according to your own skewed criteria.

no problem! anytime! i have *ultimate* power.

Just the kind of thing I`d expect from somebody not genuinely at ease with their life in Japan and not comfortable socially and economically in their home country.

meh, home is where you hang your hat. i'm comfortable in lots of places and this is where i happen to be now. not quite sure how you derive such skewed conclusions about my social and economic comfort in any place based on one post though. care to elaborate?

I do every year for a holiday and it`s fantastic - thanks! says something about other posters. Hint hint.

experiences will vary. been there, do that and going home is nice once in awhile. however i've reached a level of social and economic comfort in both places that really doesn't make me call one "home" any more than the other. i'm equally happy when i get off the plane in ottawa as i am when i get to the podunk train station in shouyama, tottori.

[FG Lurker]

I`ll make sure I`ll pass your proscription on disliking negative aspects of Japan on to my Japanese friends in the US.

And thanx for letting us all know that you have bestowed on yourself moderator powers to drive out the critics of Japan according to your own skewed criteria.

Just the kind of thing I`d expect from somebody not genuinely at ease with their life in Japan and not comfortable socially and economically in their home country.

You've totally lost it. All I have suggested is that if you are so unhappy in Japan and are so much looking forward to your return to the US (as you said), and are free to leave (which you also said) then I think you should get the fuck out.

Somehow that now makes me uneasy with my own life in Japan and uncomfortable socially and economically at home?? That is an amazing conclusion to draw... If it wasn't so far from true I'd think you had magical powers or something. As it is, all I can do is shake my head and wonder how you managed to pull the idea out your ass. The result of one too many bad acid trips maybe??

[FG Lurker]

And thanx for letting us all know that you have bestowed on yourself moderator powers to drive out the critics of Japan according to your own skewed criteria.

no problem! anytime! i have *ultimate* power.

Just the kind of thing I`d expect from somebody not genuinely at ease with their life in Japan and not comfortable socially and economically in their home country.

meh, home is where you hang your hat. i'm comfortable in lots of places and this is where i happen to be now. not quite sure how you derive such skewed conclusions about my social and economic comfort in any place based on one post though. care to elaborate?

I think the first part of the Almighty Red's post was directed towards me... I seem to be the current focus of his anger, which has been good for a laugh.

[sillygirl]

Back 6 months after 11 years in Japan.

Reverse culture shock? You bet your ass. I can sum it up in one word:

BLEARGHOWWHATHEFUGEEARGHPAH!!

Which is a real word by the way, good for scrabble.

Seriously, although I was warned by several sempai FG's, nothing prepares you for going back home to live. The first 3 or 4 months were horrible, missing so much Japan stuff. The wierdest thing was seeing how much England had changed. It has become more and more American and I still have no idea what the fuck half the people are on about.

Starting from scratch has also been WAY harder than I imagined, too.

However, I am now slowly getting used to it all - loving reality TV! (Sad cow, but I love Big Brother etc) and going out to decent pubs.....and getting decent wee...er, oops. CYBER

Anywho - reverse culture shock is a somewhat mild phrase to describe going home after yonks in Japan. Anyone got a better one?

Oh, yeah. And I wear my Fucked Gaijin sweatshirt in pubs and clubs just to remind me I'm not going mental, I have been away and I am FUCKED!!

BLEARGHOWWHATHEFUGEEARGHPAH!!

[American Oyaji]

Yeah.

I left Japan after 8 years.

Reverse culture shock is the ultimate brain fuck.

Even normal TV shows that you'd seen before are different.

It's taken about 5 years for me to get "normal" again and it took a lot of alcohol.

Even still, I look on the U.S. with a cricitical eye and I see what people around me can't see. This place is fucked up too.

[sillygirl]

Hey AO - sorry, didn't send your postcard yet...been a bit busy. Post office tomorrow, I promise

[Mulboyne]

Anywho - reverse culture shock is a somewhat mild phrase to describe going home after yonks in Japan. Anyone got a better one?

It's also often clumsily known as re-entry shock or re-adaptation shock. Old HK hands sometimes called it cultural whiplash which is more vivid but less obvious - in the US, that phrase seems to be used instead as another way of saying culture shock.

[American Oyaji]

Hey AO - sorry, didn't send your postcard yet...been a bit busy. Post office tomorrow, I promise

No worries.

I've yet to send yours either. I've been under the weather for a bit

[gomichild]

Anywho - reverse culture shock is a somewhat mild phrase to describe going home after yonks in Japan. Anyone got a better one?

It's also often clumsily known as re-entry shock or re-adaptation shock. Old HK hands sometimes called it cultural whiplash which is more vivid but less obvious - in the US, that phrase seems to be used instead as another way of saying culture shock.

Culture Reflux?

[sillygirl]

Hmm, Cultural Whiplash sounds the best so far.....still not harsh enough for the 'shock' bit, tho.

BLEARGHOWWHATHEFUGEEARGHPAH!!