Atomic Bomb Perks

[Mulboyne]

Last paragraph:



Sign found at a gym - from the lifeinjapan forum.

[tetsujin gaijin]

Just goes to show that you can alway find a silver lining!

[dimwit]

Q. So what happens if large chucks of their skin fell off in the pool?

A. Welcome to the world of Japanese Onsens.

[Taro Toporific]

Just goes to show that you can alway find a silver lining!

Yep, guys. It's cushy here for us gimps.
Here's a list just a few of the perks I collect:
-- free city subways and buses
-- Zero deductable for doctor and hospitalization bills
-- free museums and public art galleries for me and my "guests"
-- free or a token amount to onsen or public baths
-- a free or a token amount to public pools and gyms
-- no parking tickets ever (normally more than 30,000 yen and points of you drivers licence)
-- 1,000 yen (or less) for me and my guests at the movies
-- half-price expressway tolls
-- 30% discount on domestic airfare an shinkansen
-- 1.2-to-3 milion yen/year to my employer for putting up with my gimptitude
-- a general get-out-jail-free card with the cops for bar fights, train station shoving matches, etc.
-- and, it's 100% legal to busk or beg on the streets :P
<--Me begging on the streets of Shinjuku

[Greji]

<--Me begging on the streets of Shinjuku

That's you with the shoe shine kit in the background right?

[homesweethome]

Just goes to show that you can alway find a silver lining!

Yep, guys. It's cushy here for us gimps.
Here's a list just a few of the perks I collect:
-- free city subways and buses
-- Zero deductable for doctor and hospitalization bills
-- free museums and public art galleries for me and my "guests"
-- free or a token amount to onsen or public baths
-- a free or a token amount to public pools and gyms
-- no parking tickets ever (normally more than 30,000 yen and points of you drivers licence)
-- 1,000 yen (or less) for me and my guests at the movies
-- half-price expressway tolls
-- 30% discount on domestic airfare an shinkansen
-- 1.2-to-3 milion yen/year to my employer for putting up with my gimptitude
-- a general get-out-jail-free card with the cops for bar fights, train station shoving matches, etc.
-- and, it's 100% legal to busk or beg on the streets :P
<--Me begging on the streets of Shinjuku

OMG what am I doing with my life?

Please put together immediately a 'handicappers-do-it-yourself-manual' which I suggest might focus on the following points:

1. How can I get 'them others' to take resposibility for me. Just the practical stuff please.
2. How many (optimally) of my children need to be involved?
3. How can I run over my own legs and claim the neighbor did it?
4. Is it possible (legally) to conceive children while claiming disability? This is really important!
5. Which Phillipino doctors do you recommend for amputations?

What a jerk I have been!