Save Ivan Ivanovich!

[flotsam]

A handsome young Ivan Ivanovich poses before his first mission to Mir in 1986. A pioneer of the Soviet scrap-metal station, Ivanovich helped the clapped out piece of junk stay afloat with his Junior KGB toolkit, and parts he periodically nicked from Skylab while on clandestine spacewalks. His intrepid enterprise kept an ailing Mir in service well beyond its use-by date. It was on Mir that Ivan first learned the joys of a good swig of the ol' paint thinner.

Bring the old space dog home! The Rising Sun-Times, in conjunction with leading charities, is raising money to help bring Russia's greatest cosmonaut, Ivan Ivanovich, back to earth. Every little bit counts! You can help save Ivan Ivanovich, hero of the Soviet Space Program, from a cold, vacuumy death.

Learn more...

[Taro Toporific]

.... help save Ivan Ivanovich, hero of the Soviet Space Program, from a cold, vacuumy death.
Learn more...

Yeah, why does that soviet-supremely fraud, Gagarin, get all the glory and put hair on your chest?

[flotsam]

YOU HEARTLESS BASTARDS!!

here's the tally so far, stingy fg*iners:

gaijinpot: 220,000 yen
bigdaikon: 150,000 yen
risingsuntimes: 253 yen (after taking out drinks and cigarettes, oh yeah and a small night of whoring)
*ucked*aijin: 0 yen

now this is pathetic.
next time you're stuck in space, don't expect us to come running to help you. bloody hell. have you no decency left, sir?

[Greji]

YOU HEARTLESS BASTARDS!!
-snip-
*ucked*aijin: 0 yen

This is a bit more than I would have expected.

[Thanatos' embalmed botfly]

[Thanatos' embalmed botfly]

COMPANY PROSPECTUS
for www.risingsuntimes.com





http://www.risingsuntimes.com has earned a reputation as one of the website organizations in the Internet Area.

http://www.risingsuntimes.com differentiates itself from other word placement firms by using a customized, account specific approach to each account holders posting requirements. We effectively match each posters professional skills to an appropriate work environment (or, "thread") and corporate culture.



We listen to your needs because we care.

WE ARE COMMITTED TO YOUR SUCCESS.

FUCKING COMMITTED.


"Hello, this is the Rising Sun-Times Blowjob Hotline, what'll it be?"





"Keep it down Javed, the girl doesn't know about our bumrooting anal trysts in the RST mens room."
"Fancy a quickie, Toshi?"




Key selling points for http://www.risingsuntimes.com

* Extensive health care insurance:



Yes, extensive health care insurance.

That means we count ALL of your money as you die.














































































*Visa Advice for foreign wankers:

Visa Officer: Glenski



Visa concerns? Form an orderly queue and Glenski will soon set you straight. If
you don't like his advice, feel free to drown the prat in the Field of Bog there.














































































* Work experience internships:


"Um... hello? What the fuck are you doing?"



































NOW LET'S MEET THE http://www.risingsuntimes.com
STAFFING ADVISORY INCORPORATED TEAM!




Virgil Bartos - President


He hasn't actually joined the forus yet but Virgil is the legal owner of http://www.risingsuntimes.com.

Meet his lawyers:

http://www.risingsuntimes.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=111

What? You have legal issues even that cadre of evil wankers couldn't fix? Email Virgil at Virgil@gmail.com
and have a MASSIVE whinge. Let it all out! Don't hold back! Call the cunt every name under the fucking sun!





































































Camel Herder: Eugene.



He's no camel jockey!

He's the camel herder!

Half blind in both eyes and deaf in the crotch, he's doing a bang-up job.

Keep smiling Eugene and we'll let you know the instant we see the first camel.




























































































Professor Emeritus: M.Kant.



He's the editor of RST and yes, the perviest cunt on the whole forus. Perhaps even the perviest cunt on the whole webring of forusii.
















































































.... and then there's the rest of the stupid dickhead members whose names I can't remember at all:




























CLIENT TESTIMONIALS

Our clients have the utmost confidence in RST as a news source.

Some of our satisfied clients are listed below.


"I have the utmost confidence in the stupid cunts at that shitty site."
- A client.









































































Forii Infomercial








Another Forii Infomercial











































Weekly Excursions to The Seaside.

All aboard the Short Bus? Get fucked! We've got this big fuckin' ship now!









...and this one too!:



Oops, that's the same ship. But you get the picture.










































Anyway, let's take a quick tour of the http://www.risingsuntimes.com subterranean state-of-the-art facilities.


Some sort of "Mission Control" room. Fucked if I know really though.


No idea who this prick is or what he's doing there.




























RST members Lounge:


Party Central.































Exclamation Mark Room:


Ah yes, the friendly local P.O.W's. They take great pleasure in lovingly hand-crafting our exclamation marks for each week.

Another fine example of our commitment to cost-cutting and workplace efficiency. Not to mention International Relations!

Just be sure not to tell these industrious young gents that the war's over.

We're all on the same team here at http://www.risingsuntimes.com

































































No paupers graves for hard-grafting RST alumni. After your 10th post, the
management gift you one of these beautiful titanium coffins. Rot in style!

That dickhead "M.Kant" has three of these already.


In closing, the dynamic, corporate team here at http://www.risingsuntimes.com greatly look forward to your joining
our illustrious and tightly-wound team as we strive to continue being the #1 Internet-affiliated website for blind pillocks.

Yours sincerely,

http://www.risingsuntimes.com

[wuchan]

I wish I had mod powers so I could figure out who has decided to wage war on the lesser FGsites. The Gpot hate form this poster may hold a bit of water, being the eigofarm site of choice, but the other battles this person is trying to fight confuses me. Maybe I care too little? This poster confuses me.


Severely disgruntled gaijin?

[American Oyaji]

I wish I had mod powers so I could figure out who has decided to wage war on the lesser FGsites. The Gpot hate form this poster may hold a bit of water, being the eigofarm site of choice, but the other battles this person is trying to fight confuses me. Maybe I care too little? This poster confuses me.


Severely disgruntled gaijin?

Severely disturbed gaijin

[CrankyBastard]

He posts some pretty funny shit.
Getting a bit repetitious recently though.
He's probably wound a bit too tight.

[Greji]

He posts some pretty funny shit.
Getting a bit repetitious recently though.
He's probably wound a bit too tight.

Cranky, I gotta agree with you, but, by chance, you wouldn't have the number to that hotline, would you?

[Yokohammer]

Personally, I couldn't be arsed wading through inordinately long, wanking, space-wasting, "look how creative and funny I am" posts like this just to find the few truly funny bits they might (or might not) contain.

Maybe I'm a crusty old fart, but that's my honest opinion.

And now that I've spoken my crusty old mind, I'm off to another thread ...

[D. Balls]

Personally, I couldn't be arsed wading through inordinately long, wanking, space-wasting, "look how creative and funny I am" posts like this just to find the few truly funny bits they might (or might not) contain.

Maybe I'm a crusty old fart, but that's my honest opinion.

And now that I've spoken my crusty old mind, I'm off to another thread ...

I love you.

Balls

[CrankyBastard]

Cranky, I gotta agree with you, but, by chance, you wouldn't have the number to that hotline, would you?

Last time I gave you a number, three of the girls, a poodle and one pimp couldn't come in to work for a week.

[Greji]

Last time I gave you a number, three of the girls, a poodle and one pimp couldn't come in to work for a week.

What can I say Cranky? I must have some snipe in me...

[Coligny]

Last time I gave you a number, three of the girls, a poodle and one pimp couldn't come in to work for a week.

Poodle was on me... sorry... nostalgia and all...

[Screwed-down Hairdo]

Wasn't Ivan Ivanovich that dude who spent a day of his life in the gulag?

[Thanatos' embalmed botfly]

Japan PM Forms Shadow Cabinet:

http://www.risingsuntimes.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=japannews&action=display&thread=104

[FG Lurker]

Japan PM Forms Shadow Cabinet:

http://www.risingsuntimes.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=japannews&action=display&thread=104

"Error: You must login to access this forum. Please login below, or register for an account."

Not going to create an account to read one (possibly BS) posting. Want to post a summary?