Stupid Japanese Names

[Samurai_Jerk]

What's the worst Japanese name you've ever heard? A friend of mine just told me one of his client's name is Kakusaka. Poor bastard better never live in an English speaking country.

[Taro Toporific]

[Mulboyne]

I still like Mr Abunai (top centre above) although that only appeals to FGs. You also have to feel for any Japanese girl called Saiko. One of the faculty members at SOAS in London is called Satona Suzuki which has never made me chuckle but seems to crack everybody else up.

[Tommybar]

I always enjoyed 'Miho'...

[sublight]

[IkemenTommy]

I always enjoyed 'Miho'...

And Maho..

[maninjapan]

And Maho..

Yuho

[Greji]

Of course you can ask the Foreign Minister about his his esteemed lineage, to which he would reply "I'm an Aso", to which many will agree.

[Taro Toporific]

[INDENT]
Muki [color="White"].[/color] the pukey.[/INDENT]

[GomiGirl]

I have been to an Italian restuarant that has a bad translation of "Taverna" - Taberuna (for those who don't speak Japanese this means literally "Don't eat") Great name for a restaurant doncha think!!

[sillygirl]

Satomi used to crack me up..

[ichigo partygirl]

Nana still gets me because thats what i called my grandmothers (pronounced like nan na). I have a Japanese friend who lives here in NZ and whenever she meets someone for the first time she says "Hi my name is Nana, like Banana" Classic.

[kurogane]

Junko

Aho (recently given to a friend's baby; they're from Tohoku). Why not just name the kid Baka, and get it over with?

Mizuho (only because of the tendency to be mistaken by Us as Mizuko; i.e. aborted fetus)

Masa can also be unfortunate (had a racist colleague whose specialty was American History that used to live in Georgia. Thought it was hilarious when melanin blessed students would call him by name). Fortunately, his last name was Fukuhama. If said with enough gusto, sounds disturbingly close to Fuk yo mama

[Jack]

[Samurai_Jerk]

I don't understand this. Do you mean like Otearai?
The French word for a machine gun is Mitraillette so I made the link between Canon and Mitarai (kind of sound like mitraillette).

Yeah, those are the same Kanji as otearai.

[Tsuru]

Sakura.

My fiance is hell-bent on calling our eventual first-born "Sakura", boy or girl...
At first I thought she was joking, but apparently she has plegded to her best friend she would call her first kid "Sakura" and the friend's firstborn is to become "Subaru", which I hardly need telling you sucks even more.

What's a boy to do huh?

[kamome]

There was a secretary in my company, an older lady, whose surname was "Oba". So I always had to make sure my pronunciation was right when I called her "Oba-san".

[Tommybar]

Those I have plenty of:

Milner=miruna (don't look)
Gary=geri (the runs)
Bill=bi-ru (beer)

Maybe this too should be a new thread...

[Tommybar]

Had a JN lady married to an American whose last name was 'Banko'...

Had another JN lady marred to an American whose last name was 'Anderson'. She left him and married a JN named 'Ando'. It was years later that I realized she re-married...

Anderson vs Ando-san

[CrankyBastard]

Meriken friend of mine over here always introduces himself using his proper name "Benjamin," never "Ben":D

(Anyone remember the disgraced olympic athlete Ben Johnson?)

[maninjapan]

Sakura.

My fiance is hell-bent on calling our eventual first-born "Sakura", boy or girl...
At first I thought she was joking, but apparently she has plegded to her best friend she would call her first kid "Sakura" and the friend's firstborn is to become "Subaru", which I hardly need telling you sucks even more.

What's a boy to do huh?

Don't get her pregnant :P

[Samurai_Jerk]

Tsuru,

If you have a boy and your let your wife-to-be name him Sakura I want you to report straight to the Department of Masculinity to turn in your testicles and your man license.

[FG Lurker]

What's a boy to do huh?

Uhh, maybe grow a set of balls and don't let her name your son that?

Just a thought.

[Tsuru]

Don't worry, I wasn't exactly planing on giving in and let her ruin a nice family tradition on my side of the family.

What the hell is she thinking... what kind of life is that kid going to have if his/her name is "Sakura" If it's a boy he will probably be bullied into voluntarily becoming a homosexual and if it's girl she will be destined to become a porn star. Not to mention it will suck no matter where if we raise our kids... in Europe or Japan.

If it's a boy I want to name him after his great-grandfather never says a word whenever I come over and probably kicked some American/Korean/Chinese ass back in the day. "Saijiro"... now there's a name that oozes manliness, no matter where he's raised.

[Taro Toporific]

What the hell is she thinking... what kind of life is that kid going to have if his/her name is "Sakura".

Maybe she's a fan of Johnnie Cash's "A Boy Named Sue"
(YouTube video --- live February 24, 1969 @ San Quentin Prison).


Alternatively, maybe she's mercifully planning to abort any male fetus.

____________
[INDENT]
"A Boy Named Sue"
Johnny Cash 1969
written by Shel Silverstein*, rest-of-the-story on Wikipedia

My daddy left home when I was three
And he didn't leave much to ma and me
Just this old guitar and an empty bottle of booze.
Now, I don't blame him cause he run and hid
But the meanest thing that he ever did
Was before he left, he went and named me "Sue."

Well, he must o' thought that is quite a joke
And it got a lot of laughs from a' lots of folk,
It seems I had to fight my whole life through.
Some gal would giggle and I'd get red
And some guy'd laugh and I'd bust his head,
I tell ya, life ain't easy for a boy named "Sue."

Well, I grew up quick and I grew up mean,
My fist got hard and my wits got keen,
I'd roam from town to town to hide my shame.
But I made a vow to the moon and stars
That I'd search the honky-tonks and bars
And kill that man who gave me that awful name.

Well, it was Gatlinburg in mid-July
And I just hit town and my throat was dry,
I thought I'd stop and have myself a brew.
At an old saloon on a street of mud,
There at a table, dealing stud,
Sat the dirty, mangy dog that named me "Sue."
continued ...

[/INDENT]
*Shel Silverstein was born and raised in Chicago, Illinois. Silverstein's talents were already well-developed by the time he served in the US armed forces. Silverstein was stationed in Japan in the 1950s, and was a cartoonist for the Pacific edition of the military newspaper, Stars and Stripes.

Picture of Tokyo Weekender's editor of many decades, Corky Alexander and Shel Silverstein in Roppongi.

(I think Corky Alexander was Shel Silverstein's boss in the Pacific Stars and Stripes.)

[6810]

How about

Moka (as in Mocha) - ("Moe" kanji plus something else)
Kokoa (as in Cocoa) - ("Heart" and "love" kanji)

[kurogane]

Those I have plenty of:

Milner=miruna (don't look)
Gary=geri (the runs)
Bill=bi-ru (beer)

Maybe this too should be a new thread...

And the favourite of elementary school kids everywhere:

Teacher Dave = you do the math

[Jack]

Sakura.

My fiance is hell-bent on calling our eventual first-born "Sakura", boy or girl...
At first I thought she was joking, but apparently she has plegded to her best friend she would call her first kid "Sakura" and the friend's firstborn is to become "Subaru", which I hardly need telling you sucks even more.

What's a boy to do huh?

Don't marry her. Tsuru-san, I'm telling you this is just the beginning. It starts with a weird request (not that it will necessarily get any weirder than naming a boy Sakura) but if she is thinking that now other shit will follow later.

If you do marry her and the boy is named Sakura, please do all men a favour and turn yourself in.

[Samurai_Jerk]

I'd have to agree with Jack on this one. You should definitely not marry her. Any woman who wants to name a boy Sakura is not playing with a full deck and will probably turn into an emasculating bitch.

[Tsuru]

But she has great tits!

Seriously though, if you really think I should get upset and kick her out the door over some little quip she had with her best friend in highschool, I really am wondering how many relationships you had between the two of you that lasted longer than 2 weeks... She has already given up on the whole idea a loooong time ago and only brings it up to taunt me every once in a while... this whole thing is really not the issue you make it out to be.

Or maybe you are just not used to having the last say in your relationships?