Getting married, need advice... no joke!

[AlbertSiegel]

I am finnaly at that point in life that I have decided to get married. I am American and she is Japanese. I know some of you will give me the advice of "don't do it" or "get out now", but I do plan to marry her anyway.

My question is... would it be better to marry her in Japan or in the U.S.? We plan to both live in the U.S. for the next few years. I am back in Miami at the moment but plan to be back in Japan for a week next month. Should I marry her in Japan and try to get her a visa from there, or should she just enter the U.S. as a tourest after we are married in Japan?

Would it be better if she comes to Miami on a tourist visa and I marry her here? Anyone have any any idea what is the fastest and best way to have her in the U.S.? Anyone ever done this? What should I expect to do or happen?

[james]

What should I expect to do or happen?

expect her libido to drop faster than shares of bre-x did..

sorry.. i know you said no jokes..

[AssKissinger]

Albert, marry her in both countries and plan on living in Japan during the visa process or being apart for a while. Maybe years. The visa process has been a terrible experience for my wife and me. I hope it goes better for you. Unless you're both prepared to live in either country for the rest of your lives you shouldn't get married. It's not safe to assume she'll definitely get a visa just because you're married. It might not happen at all. Good luck.

[FG Lurker]

Albert, congratulations!! If you've found the right person for you then marriage is great!

The best thing you can do with regards to her visa is talk to lawyers (one in Japan, one in the US) who have experience with this. Everyone's situation is a bit different and the rules tend to change as well.

You also might want to call the Embassy in Tokyo and ask them what they suggest and what the rules are for applying from Japan. You're likely to get more helpful responses from an experienced lawyer though...

[GomiGirl]

This link will help

Marriage

Congratulations!

If you are an American planning to marry in Japan, the process is straightforward.With some planning, most people can complete all the things needed to get married in less than one day.

(Servicemen and women have additional steps to take to marry in Japan; contact your unit personnel officer or chain of command.Your partner may also have additional steps to take depending on his/her nationality; contact the appropriate foreign embassy).

Note that if your new mate is not an American Citizen or Green Card holder, s/he'll need a visa to enter the U.S.The most important advice we can offer is to begin early to prepare the things needed for the right visa for your fiancé/fiancée or new spouse to enter the United States. Depending on the circumstances, processing can take four to six months (more if your spouse is not Japanese but applying for a visa in Japan).This interactive guide will lead you through the decisions and supply you with the information you need to get your new life off to a great start.

What follows assumes you are marrying a Japanese, though much of this advice also applies to your marriage to anyone not already a U.S. Citizen or Legal Permanent Resident (LPR or "Green Card" holder).Throughout this guide when we say "You" or "Your," we are referring to the American Citizen partner.

[kurohinge1]

[AssKissinger]

You also might want to call the Embassy in Tokyo and ask them what they suggest

They won't talk to you.

[AssKissinger]

General information regarding visas may be obtained by calling the Visa Office on 202-663-1225.

What a fucking joke.

[omae mona]

Albert - my experience dates to pre-9/11 so things may be different nowadays. One thing I was told is that the U.S. government does not like it when somebody enters the U.S. on false pretenses. Of course it depends on the individual examiner, but I was told it's not a good idea to come in on a tourist visa if her intent is to marry. If they believe that the idea of marriage came up spontaneously after entering in the U.S. (e.g. you proposed after she arrived), then you're OK. But if you slip and state that she was planning to marry you all along, but came in with a tourist visa instead of a fiancee visa, they may be a bit ticked off.

Here's how I did things: Flew to Japan. Quick official marriage at the Minato-ku ward office. Hopped in a taxi and filed an application for green card at US Embassy the same day. Green card was in my wife's hands about 3 months later (she had to attend one interview at the embassy in the meantime). It might have been possible to wrap up a few weeks earlier, but my wife was busy and didn't have time to get the required medical checkups done as soon as she could have.

I was always told that if you file the green card application at an embassy which can handle the application (such as Tokyo), it speeds up the process by MONTHS compared to filing from inside the U.S. It seems to have been true in my case.

So if the process is similar to pre-9/11, and if you have the time and resources to make a quick trip to Japan, I think this may be the easiest way to go.

[Jack]

It's best to get married in Japan and the U.S. First get married in Japan and then both of you travel to the U.S. for a ceremony there. It helps if you tell the immigration officer that you just have gotten married and that you will also have a U.S. ceremony. It would help if you have a printed wedding invitation card as proof to show them. Better be upfront and tell the officer exactly what your plans are for a visa.

Weddings in Japan will run about $200 per head and will take about two hours. The good thing is rarely in Japan will there be more than 70 people invited. So although the cost per head is quite a bit more than here, the total cost of the wedding will likely be the same.

The place where you are planning to live in the U.S. are there many Japanese around? If not, make sure that your wife travels back to Japan at least twice a year for the first couple of years so that she wont become too homesick. Japanese people love travelling outside Japan but they always get homesick and that could negatively impact your relationship. Also, living in an English environment 24/7 will be exhausting for her.

Congratulations. I should have married a Japanese women 20 years ago.

[American Oyaji]

I should have married a Japanese women 20 years ago.

How many did you plan on marrying?:D

[kamome]

What a fucking joke.

Indeed. US immigration law (as well as the workings of the USCIS - US Citizenship and Immigration Services, the successor to the INS) is very hard to figure out and they do NOT make themselves very accessible for 1-on-1 consultation. If you're trying to call an Embassy, they may charge you for each minute of the conversation. In the US, there is a hotline to call USCIS, but they usually seem to handle calls for people who already have a case pending.

You can refer to the official information posted on the USCIS and American Embassy websites. But if you have pressing questions that are not answered by the FAQ's on those sites, you definitely should consult with a lawyer. Personally, I think that if your wife is currently in Japan, you should just marry her there (like omae-mona says, a quick procedure at the ward office) and apply for the visa at the US Embassy.

She definitely should NOT travel to the US on a tourist visa and attempt to change her status while there. She'll probably be told to leave the country and come back in with the approved visa anyway.

[Jack]

How many did you plan on marrying?:D

Sorry I just noticed I made a spelling error. Just for the record, the answer is one.

[Greji]

:-) Sorry I just noticed I made a spelling error. Just for the record, the answer is one.

That is all very good, but you must keep several others around for contingencies!

[maraboutslim]

She definitely should NOT travel to the US on a tourist visa and attempt to change her status while there. She'll probably be told to leave the country and come back in with the approved visa anyway.

Is this a new policy? My wife and I married in Japan in 1993. In 1998 we decided to move to California. I went over alone in May to see if I could find a job and wanted to stay. I did and got things set up. We didn't apply for her visa in Tokyo ahead of time because it wouldn't have been approved in time anyway (that's what the us embassy told us), so we just ignored it. She came over in October without a visa (arrived as a tourist), kids in tow. We applied for her green card in San Francisco, she was allowed to stay in the usa while the application was in process, and was even allowed to travel back to japan twice (after filing a request for it stating vague "business reasons": approved immediately on the spot). Her green card was issued about 18 months later, no problem. They may have asked us why she didn't do everything in japan prior to coming to california and if so, i'm sure we said something like, "we were planning on remaining in japan but i was offered a good job in california and when she visited she liked it to so we decided to make our life here." Who can argue with that?

Yes, the visa/green card application process is confusing and the material they give you is full of extra sheets noting changes in proceedures listed on other pages and so on...but i managed to handle it without paying anyone for help. Maybe in the Bush 2nd era things have changed?

[Mulboyne]

Maybe in the Bush 2nd era things have changed?

They undoubtedly have. I have heard a number of visa horror stories coming out of the US recently. The general theme seems to be that it is better to register a marriage in Japan and apply for a visa through the Embassy in Tokyo and only head off once it has been approved. But there are other cases which seem to have gone smoothly.

Since there are so many conflicting stories, the best advice has already been suggested by others: seek advice from immigration lawyers in the US and Japan before you do anything.

[Greji]

They undoubtedly have. I have heard a number of visa horror stories coming out of the US recently. The general theme seems to be that it is better to register a marriage in Japan and apply for a visa through the Embassy in Tokyo and only head off once it has been approved. But there are other cases which seem to have gone smoothly.

Since there are so many conflicting stories, the best advice has already been suggested by others: seek advice from immigration lawyers in the US and Japan before you do anything.

It is definately faster to get married and apply for the visa in Japan. I have heard they are getting a bit tighter on this, but be that as it may, it cannot take as long as in the states.

[D.]

My experience was pre-9/11, but I think as a general rule it's easier to get married in Japan and apply for the green card there. I brought my wife in on a fiance visa and the process of getting a green card took so long that by the time we had our interview, we had already been married for almost three years. Meaning we by-passed the temp. 2 yr. green card and went straight to permanent. I've compared notes with a number of couples in the U.S. and have always found that getting hitched in Japan worked faster. It also must be said, god I hate the INS or whatever the hell it's called nowadays. I don't think it's necessary to hire a lawyer, but be prepared to deal with the most aggravating and incompetent bureaucracy in the U.S.

[D.]

not sure why my post replicated three times. Apologies if I screwed anything up.

[AlbertSiegel]

Thank you all for the great advice. We will be getting married in Japan next month. I will apply for her at the U.S. embassy. I hope this will go well. I may return to the U.S. first and wait a few weeks for her to join me. I will keep you all updated as to what happens.

[AssKissinger]

I may return to the U.S. first and wait a few weeks for her to join me.

You're very optimistic.

[FG Lurker]

You're very optimistic.

What's happening with your wife's visa at the moment AK?

[AssKissinger]

Been working on it for two years. PM me if you want to know why.

[Taro Toporific]

I may return to the U.S. first and wait a few weeks for her to join me.

You're very optimistic.

For what I hear, the average wait runs 6 months--A 3-month wait is the best you should ever expect and 1.5-year waits happen.

[AlbertSiegel]

I know it will take months, but the idea is she will come on a tourist visa and stay for three months with me and then return to Japan till the proper visa is issued. At least I hope that will work.

[Mulboyne]

I know it will take months, but the idea is she will come on a tourist visa and stay for three months with me and then return to Japan till the proper visa is issued. At least I hope that will work.

That sounds great but listen to what others have said: sometimes US immigration does not take kindly to someone who applies for one visa and then elects to enter the country on a different visa. I have no personal experience but others have found themselves on the wrong side of an immigration official. I wouldn't take that course without getting good advice.

[kamome]

Yeah, I'm pretty sure that your wife will not be allowed to travel to the US if her application for an immigration visa is in progress. Of course, as a J-citizen, she could possibly hop on the plane to the US and HOPE that they don't correlate her passport with the outstanding visa app at customs. But if they are able to track it in their system, she could be turned away at the border. I would play it straight by the book on this one - speak to someone at the Embassy, call the USCIS hotline or speak to an immigration lawyer about this. The last thing you want is to sabotage her immigration visa app by trying to circumvent the rules.

[kurohinge1]

Been working on it for two years. PM me if you want to know why.

Spelling problems, AK?



And you're not still colouring-in the boxes with those crazy crayons are you?

You know they don't appreciate your art on those government forms, especially when you colour outside the lines.

Good luck anyway.

PS: Remember, the answer to "Do you have a criminal record?" is - "I have a "WHAM" LP from the '80's but no longer have a player".

[dimwit]

[quote="kurohinge1"][PS: Remember, the answer to "Do you have a criminal record?" is - "I have a "WHAM" LP from the '80's but no longer have a player".

]

Isn't that like saying I have 50 pounds of cocaine but I no longer have a mirror?;)

[omae mona]

Thank you all for the great advice. We will be getting married in Japan next month. I will apply for her at the U.S. embassy. I hope this will go well. I may return to the U.S. first and wait a few weeks for her to join me. I will keep you all updated as to what happens.

Bad news - I think you might need to change your plans. Looks like you have to file in the U.S. now. This just in from the American Embassy Tokyo's newsletter (minutes ago):

http://japan.usembassy.gov/e/acs/tacs-newsletter20070201.html
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Important Change in Immigrant I-130 Filing Procedures
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Recent legislation has led to changes in the procedures American citizens resident abroad will follow if they wish to sponsor an immediate relative (spouse, parent or minor child) for an immigrant visa. Effective immediately, the immediate relative petition (I-130) must be filed with the United States Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) office responsible for the petitioner's place of residence (that is, the place of residence of the American citizen who is filing the petition). Consular offices at U.S. embassies and consulates are no longer authorized to accept I-130s, although they will continue to provide guidance to American citizen petitioners and their family members. Responsibility for acceptance and approval of immigrant visa petitions rests solely with USCIS. American citizens should submit their I-130 at the CIS office responsible for their place of residence. Residents of Japan should file their I-130 with:

By Mail:

USCIS California Service Center
P.O. Box 10130
Laguna Niguel, CA 92607-1013
USA
By Courier:
USCIS California Service Center
2400 Avila Road
Laguna Niguel, CA 92607
This procedural change may result in a processing delay for some applicants. Currently, there is a six-month backlog in California for petition approvals, so applications should be sent in as early as possible. The Department of State recognizes and sincerely regrets the inconvenience this may cause.