soon to be ex-wife called cops on me

[momotobananaoishii]

I've been on basic off and on speaking terms with my soon to be ex wife.

We still live together because I'm looking for a new job and cant move out. We were only / have been married for 7 months.

Recently she's been going through my things when I'm out or sleeping. i.e. phone, desk etc. I suspected it because things were moved around so I planted my video camera and voila I have video of it.

Anyway today I said, "the towels smell strange for some reason" and all of a sudden she flies off the handle. Trying to punch and kick me etc. I mean schizophrenic stuff. She throws a punch at my face so as you can imagine I was shocked. Coming from Canada I didn't hit her because the minute you even spit at a girl you get arrested. I know because my friend got arrested and he did not have a good time in court. So she starts to throw some more and by this time I'm holding her arms and pushing her against the plastic shower door to get her to stop. By this time she's huffing and puffing and uses the opportunity to act like she is being abused and calls the police because at that time she thinks it will look legit to the police because she's huffing and puffing. I was freaking because she was saying how she's gonna get me deported. Of course she had no marks and actually I had the mark on my lip. Those are words I DO NOT like.

I know the police in Japan really favor men and for just this one time I am grateful. They looked at us as if we were dumb and told us to settle it with a lawyer.

So as you can imagine I'm in a bad situation.

I can't move and I don't want to move because the rental apt is in my name as well. Why should I? Of course I'm not stubborn but really, she can call the police all she wants now that she's cried wolf and they don't believe her.

However if any of you think it will jeopardize my future PR with another wife I will pack up and move.

What do you think?

p.s. are all Japanese girls schizophrenic?

[Charles]

p.s. are all Japanese girls schizophrenic?

No, not just Japanese girls.

My attorney once advised me that when you are threatened with domestic violence, get the hell out of there. Leave the house. Run. This is partly for your own safety, but mostly because you can't be accused of anything if you weren't there.

[Jack]

My first wife (not Japanese) was like that and I used to tell friends that I sleep with one eye open fearing that she may knife me while asleep.

I feel sorry for your situation. It looks like it has deteriorated to the point of no return. Best thing to do is leave the house.

Not all Japanese girls are like that but some are. They are unreasonably violent when things go bad. As much as I dislike western women, when they don't get their way they just kick you out. They don't hit and smash stuff.

I have been married twice and dated tons of girls. Crap for crap, I prefer the Japanese crap.

[Charles]

Not all Japanese girls are like that but some are. They are unreasonably violent when things go bad. As much as I dislike western women, when they don't get their way they just kick you out. They don't hit and smash stuff.

I have evidence to the contrary. Why do you think I consulted an attorney?

[momotobananaoishii]

My first wife (not Japanese) was like that and I used to tell friends that I sleep with one eye open fearing that she may knife me while asleep.

Dude, why do you think it's 4AM and I'm watching my download of UFC instead? lol I was thinking the SAME thing!!!!!!!!

Btw, After being here for a while I have to say that on the whole while the best Japanese girl is better than the best western girl, the bad Japanese girls are far worse than the bad western girls. Many of them seem to have this secret dark side that doesn't come out until they go crazy. Well that's what I hear on the news at least and from other people. You know, the lady on the news who slit her husband's throat is a common theme.

Thankfully I have an amazing Japanese gf now. And luckily the police thought it was total BS. In Canada I would be in the slammer right now and tomorrow morning a court date would be set for 2030 so from now until then I'd be awaiting my fate lol

Did you know that? In Canada if your gf calls the police as a joke and then even tells them she didn't mean it they still arrest you. Doesn't even have to be wife.

[kamome]

I've been on basic off and on speaking terms with my soon to be ex wife.

We still live together because I'm looking for a new job and cant move out. We were only / have been married for 7 months.

Recently she's been going through my things when I'm out or sleeping. i.e. phone, desk etc. I suspected it because things were moved around so I planted my video camera and voila I have video of it.

Anyway today I said, "the towels smell strange for some reason" and all of a sudden she flies off the handle. Trying to punch and kick me etc. I mean schizophrenic stuff. She throws a punch at my face so as you can imagine I was shocked. Coming from Canada I didn't hit her because the minute you even spit at a girl you get arrested. I know because my friend got arrested and he did not have a good time in court. So she starts to throw some more and by this time I'm holding her arms and pushing her against the plastic shower door to get her to stop. By this time she's huffing and puffing and uses the opportunity to act like she is being abused and calls the police because at that time she thinks it will look legit to the police because she's huffing and puffing. I was freaking because she was saying how she's gonna get me deported. Of course she had no marks and actually I had the mark on my lip. Those are words I DO NOT like.

I know the police in Japan really favor men and for just this one time I am grateful. They looked at us as if we were dumb and told us to settle it with a lawyer.

So as you can imagine I'm in a bad situation.

I can't move and I don't want to move because the rental apt is in my name as well. Why should I? Of course I'm not stubborn but really, she can call the police all she wants now that she's cried wolf and they don't believe her.

However if any of you think it will jeopardize my future PR with another wife I will pack up and move.

What do you think?

p.s. are all Japanese girls schizophrenic?

If the lease on your apt is in your name, why the hell doesn't she move out? Seems that you could kick her ass out the door if you are the one paying the rent.

[momotobananaoishii]

??? It's in both our names. We both signed. Obviously I'd boot her out.

[Jack]

Dude, why do you think it's 4AM and I'm watching my download of UFC instead? lol I was thinking the SAME thing!!!!!!!!

Btw, After being here for a while I have to say that on the whole while the best Japanese girl is better than the best western girl, the bad Japanese girls are far worse than the bad western girls. Many of them seem to have this secret dark side that doesn't come out until they go crazy. Well that's what I hear on the news at least and from other people. You know, the lady on the news who slit her husband's throat is a common theme.

Thankfully I have an amazing Japanese gf now. And luckily the police thought it was total BS. In Canada I would be in the slammer right now and tomorrow morning a court date would be set for 2030 so from now until then I'd be awaiting my fate lol

Did you know that? In Canada if your gf calls the police as a joke and then even tells them she didn't mean it they still arrest you. Doesn't even have to be wife.

You put it well when you said the bad Japanese girls are worse than the bad western chicks. That's true.

In Can believe any weird story about Canada if it means that at the end it favours women. I can be arrested for spanking my kids to teach them a lesson. Your wife can charge you with rape. If a woman doesn't like her job and wants to quit but she also wants to qualify for unemployment insurance because quitting does not qualify, she merely blames sexual harrassment and bingo. Unemployment insurance cheque every two weeks no questions asked.

[momotobananaoishii]

off topic sorta.... It just came to mind. It is probably very difficult to be deported as a gaijin who is married to a J nat hey?

Obviously there are exceptions for big crimes like murder and such but you could never be deported simply for your bitch wife calling the cops right?

Even if there were like 10 phone calls there's nothing they can really do except bar each other from living together or something I'm sure.

Especially when she calls for no apparent reason than just to cause shit. She aint ever gonna have a mark on her so it's pretty futile on her part.

[Adhesive]

off topic sorta.... It just came to mind. It is probably very difficult to be deported as a gaijin who is married to a J nat hey?

Obviously there are exceptions for big crimes like murder and such but you could never be deported simply for your bitch wife calling the cops right?

Even if there were like 10 phone calls there's nothing they can really do except bar each other from living together or something I'm sure.

Especially when she calls for no apparent reason than just to cause shit. She aint ever gonna have a mark on her so it's pretty futile on her part.

Honestly, from my admittedly limited knowledge of Japan, I don't think it matters whether or not domestic violence is a deportable offense. Japanese police simply are not interested in arresting people on accusations of domestic violence. That being said, I don't know about rape accusations...but I imagine you living with her would actually be a good thing in that respect, because it would probably seem so improbable to a Japanese cop that any J-girl willing to co-habitate with a filthy gaijin is anything but a cock-hungry slut.

[momotobananaoishii]

hahaha she is a cock hungry slut anyway...well, that's just my pet name for her.

Anyway seems odd that my "soon to be ex wife" (I like to make that clear and give her that title whenever I can :P) doesn't even know that the police don't do anything regarding domestic phone calls. She has enough fucking slut J friends who are divorced themselves. She's got like this circle of Japanese cougars who are all divorced. Actually cougars are good looking. If anyone should know the police attitude it should be her.

Heck the systems sometimes doesn't even convict murderers for longer than a year here.

I'm gonna make sure I get my new Visa then call her folks (who like me) and tell them my new gf is pregnant. lol Then she'll easily divorce me.

My turn...BIATCH.

[Neo-Rio]

Japanese girls make GREAT girlfriends, but terrible wives.

The only way to keep a J-girl in check is to be willing to walk on her - and once you take that ability away by marrying her, or living with her - then the vampire teeth come out.

[Mike Oxlong]

I'd avoid doing anything like letting her know you have a girlfriend, as she could use that info against you to get a better financial settlement when the divorce goes thru. Keep that shit to yourself. Try to document all her freak-outs. Use a bound notebook, keep copious notes, photo and video evidence like you mentioned is good too. Time and datestamps, sending registered mail of videotapes or other media is good to prove when things occured. Watch yer back!

[halfnip]

I hear Korean girls are even worse as they'll put a knife to your throat, but since I've been in this exact situation before with a J-girl, I beg to differ.

I don't know what it is, but when J-girls get all crazy with you throwing shit, kicking, slapping, screaming---it's just ridiculous. It's like they're waiting for you to smack the shit out of them so they can then make a big deal out of it by calling friends, parents, etc. I find it funny when you just stand there pretending nothing phases you and I find that the "Are you done yet? I'm really tired from work..." line seems to hit the spot.

The thing I hate the most is when we're having an argument and she IMMEDIATELY picks up the phone to call her mom to badmouth me right in front of me---in my own goddamn house!

[Iraira]

[aquamarine]

Sorry to hear about your troubles. I got out of a relationship that was going on for one and a half years. She even went through the trouble of moving back here to Canada to endure the next two years while I finish my university degree, then we were going to be married and head back, however I discovered with her that was NOT a good idea. I'm quite sure that once J-girls hit the 26 year-mark, they become bipolar.

Sorry again, and best of luck!

[ttjereth]

off topic sorta.... It just came to mind. It is probably very difficult to be deported as a gaijin who is married to a J nat hey?

Obviously there are exceptions for big crimes like murder and such but you could never be deported simply for your bitch wife calling the cops right?

Even if there were like 10 phone calls there's nothing they can really do except bar each other from living together or something I'm sure.

Especially when she calls for no apparent reason than just to cause shit. She aint ever gonna have a mark on her so it's pretty futile on her part.

Actually if you are on a spouse visa and she divorces, whether you have just renewed the visa for three years or not, your visa is technically no longer valid and it gives the police/immigration an excuse to do what they want, so I'd be careful there.

Also if your wife decides to call immigration BEFORE or while you are trying to renew your visa they might renew it.

BTW, why doesn't your wife leave and go back to her family if she is unhappy being with you?

[ttjereth]

The thing I hate the most is when we're having an argument and she IMMEDIATELY picks up the phone to call her mom to badmouth me right in front of me---in my own goddamn house!

My wife tried this once when I yelled at her. Her father laughed at her and her mother told me to yell at her more


What she does still do that drives me insane however (although not limited to Japanese or women really) is not accept something I say or a course of action I recommend, but immediately accept the same thing when her mother says it.

Or call her mother for confirmation of something I said.

[Adhesive]

My wife tried this once when I yelled at her. Her father laughed at her and her mother told me to yell at her more


What she does still do that drives me insane however (although not limited to Japanese or women really) is not accept something I say or a course of action I recommend, but immediately accept the same thing when her mother says it.

Or call her mother for confirmation of something I said.

Yeah, if my wife were to complain about me to either of her parents they would look at her like she's crazy. In fact, both of them constantly thank me for taking their daughter in and putting up with her shenanigans.

Fortunately, my wife is one of the sane ones, so we've never had long drawn out fights or anything like that. We've never even reverted to name-calling, and we've lived together for over 7 years.

I also would agree that my wife put much more effort into the relationship before we got married. After marriage she instantly started getting comfortable. That was quickly fixed by me letting her know that I had no reservations about divorce.

[ttjereth]

Yeah, if my wife were to complain about me to either of her parents they would look at her like she's crazy. In fact, both of them constantly thank me for taking their daughter in and putting up with her shenanigans.

Fortunately, my wife is one of the sane ones, so we've never had long drawn out fights or anything like that. We've never even reverted to name-calling, and we've lived together for over 7 years.

I also would agree that my wife put much more effort into the relationship before we got married. After marriage she instantly started getting comfortable. That was quickly fixed by me letting her know that I had no reservations about divorce.

My wife and I had a hell of time our first year living together. She lived the perfect little princess spoiled life and didn't adjust well to domestication at first

She tried throwing crap at me (a can of bug spray specifically) one time and missed, and I calmly explained to her that if she ever did it again I would not hesitate to throw it right back at her. She never did it again. She used to haul off and hit her sister when they lived together (this is both of them in their early 20's mind you). I cured her of that affliction too. Now she just stomps around the house and slams doors, which is honestly still pretty fucking annoying, but I can live with it.

[unkosando]

We were only / have been married for 7 months.

7 months in and you already have a girlfriend. Hmm... Let me guess why you are getting a divorce.


I agree with you though... Japanese girls are fucking nuts and the party just gets worse after marriage.

[American Oyaji]

I'm usually quick to defend the honor of woman kind being a gentleman and all..

...but....

yeah. Jgirls can get pretty loonie at times.

[Mulboyne]

Of course, we are all well-balanced, reasonable individuals who just happen to have found a home on a board called Fucked Gaijin.

[Adhesive]

Of course, we are all well-balanced, reasonable individuals who just happen to have found a home on a board called Fucked Gaijin.

Well, that just goes without saying. I mean, I certainly wouldn't continue to post here if the rest of you were in any way abnormal. And I know I must be normal because none of you have ever complained...

[Neo-Rio]

The Japanese girls I've been with only went crazy when I had a monogamous relationship with them.

Playing the field turned them all into angels. Go figure. I guess they respect playboys more.

[American Oyaji]

Of course, we are all well-balanced, reasonable individuals who just happen to have found a home on a board called Fucked Gaijin.

But of course my good man!

[momotobananaoishii]

7 months in and you already have a girlfriend. Hmm... Let me guess why you are getting a divorce.


I agree with you though... Japanese girls are fucking nuts and the party just gets worse after marriage.

uhhh yeah cause she told me we could divorce and that she didn't care. So we are separated unfortunately living together. I'm in a difficult situation because I'm in the middle of trying to get work and dealing with this shit which may screw up my visa.

I already had work lined up at a company which paid by commission starting 2008, but because it takes a while to build up clientele etc I now cannot afford to wait for that time period which means I have to look for a regular ESL type job immediately.

Also it's weird but she's sorta holding out divorcing (which is a good thing for me) because she knows it's frikkin' almost impossible or at least a headache to divorce if it's not mutual. You have to involve lawyers and arbitration etc as you know.

So I'm not divorcing on paper until I have established a solid relationship with another girl. Meanwhile I still get my spouse visas. Then when I have a good relationship I will call the bitche's parents and tell them my gf is pregnant. Her parents like me and they will convince the bitch to divorce me to save face.

So I'm in no hurry to divorce on paper.

Also she aint getting a cent cause as far as she knows I don't have a cent. I don't in Japan anyway.

[GomiGirl]

A real prince aren't you?

[halfnip]

A real prince aren't you?

In ref to the craziness of J-girls, I have always believed that it had something to do with them living with their parents until someone was stupid enough to bring them in. I mean, this would explain their actions in ref to not being able to handle things in a sane manner.

Nah, it must be something else.

[momotobananaoishii]

A real prince aren't you?

You state that as if I would really care what you (someone I'll never see in my life) think. However going by what everyone else says on this board that's just how you operate. Spew on...