Random Comments from Nippon Newbies

[kusai Jijii]

Not sure if this has been done before (I remember something similar in a thread a few months back), but I was talking to a fella fresh off the boat today, and he gave me the idea for this thread.

I'll kick things off by quoting him...

"I'm not really into Japanese women":banana:

[Adhesive]

Not sure if this has been done before (I remember something similar in a thread a few months back), but I was talking to a fella fresh off the boat today, and he gave me the idea for this thread.

I'll kick things off by quoting him...

"I'm not really into Japanese women":banana:

I even tried convincing myself that until coming back here for the first time in 4 years.

[Oradea]

I used to have a guy working for me, way out in the sticks. He came to head office for a meeting, and after lunch, sat there drinking a strawberry chu-hi.

ME; Why are you drinking alcohol at work?
Him; Its strawberry juice.
Me; Its alcohol.
Him; Shit, I have a couple of these at lunch everyday. I guess thats why the job has been so much fun.

[Samurai_Jerk]

Not sure if this has been done before (I remember something similar in a thread a few months back), but I was talking to a fella fresh off the boat today, and he gave me the idea for this thread.

I'll kick things off by quoting him...

"I'm not really into Japanese women":banana:

Funny, except I know plenty of guys who've been here awhile who say that and prove it by pretty much only dating gaijin.

[GomiGirl]

Funny, except I know plenty of guys who've been here awhile who say that and prove it by pretty much only dating gaijin.

I know a few gay boys that say the same and then only date gaijin too.

[Greji]

"I'm not really into Japanese women":banana:

I am, so I'll handle all his referrals!

[Charles]

OK, I'll play.

My favorite fresher incident: I was in school with my 4th year J class, there were a lot of hopeless, hapless freshers and we seniors were often drafted into translation duty for them.
One day I was in a conbini, a couple of fresher girls were roaming around in the store. One of them came to me and said "oh you've got to help out my friend, she's absolutely desperate, but she's embarassed to ask for help. Could you give her some language help?" I said sure. So I asked her what's wrong, her face turned bright red, then she asked me a question that totally blindsided me:

"What's the Japanese word for tampons?"

[Samurai_Jerk]

I know a few gay boys that say the same and then only date gaijin too.

I for one only date Japanese boys.


Here are some more for the list:
- I'll never use a squat toilet.
- I'll never sing Karaoke.
- Teaching English in Japan will look great on my resume when I go home and look for a job in international business.
- I can't date anyone because I've got a girlfriend back home.

[ttjereth]

[quote="Oradea"]I used to have a guy working for me, way out in the sticks. He came to head office for a meeting, and after lunch, sat there drinking a strawberry chu-hi.

ME]

That's hilarious!

[JimDanger]

Despite being here for nearly 2 1/2 years, I'm in the military, so my interaction with the locals is much less than the rest of the folks here. I did have a sort of newbie moment, which I wrote up on my site. I'm not linking it for hits or because I'm slyly spamming the boards, but because it's nearly three pages and too big for a post. Let me know if I'm wrong.

My One and Only Date with a Japanese Girl.

[kusai Jijii]

Let me know if I'm wrong.

IMHO you are right about some stuff (Japanese girls are hot yada yada...they dress semi-slutty yuda yuda...people think they will make great subsurviant wives yuda yuda...) but wrong overall (they arent hard to close on yada yada, they arent all like the two wenches hanging out at bars near US bases, and they most certainly arent quiet, selfless, angels once you marry them either.)

But anyway, back to the topic at hand, Random Comments from Nippon Newbies, yes SJ, the 'I'm not getting involved 'cause I have a partner back home' is funny one. Wish I'd had a 100 yen bet with every punter who has told me that over the years...

[Greji]

IMHO you are right about some stuff (Japanese girls are hot yada yada...they dress semi-slutty yuda yuda...people think they will make great subsurviant wives yuda yuda...) but wrong overall (they arent hard to close on yada yada, they arent all like the two wenches hanging out at bars near US bases, and they most certainly arent quiet, selfless, angels once you marry them either.)

Well, I would only say that having one for a wife, will definitely break you of the habit of wanting to have one for a wife. But as far as the other comments go, I don't know if they are true or not. So I endeavor to try on a couple new ones each week to see if I am getting it wrong.

One should never cease one's oriental studies......

[sillygirl]

After 10 plus years in Japan, I used to love winding up the JET idiots or whoever who had been in Japan for a couple of months.

I remember deliberately sticking both chopsticks in me rice and getting lectured by some newb why it was dame. My J mates thought it was hysterical...

[Mulboyne]

I remember deliberately sticking both chopsticks in me rice and getting lectured by some newb why it was dame. My J mates thought it was hysterical...

Does that mean your J-mates were there? Ahh...that's an easy way to play the gaijin double-bluff. Much harder to keep it together when you can't exchange smirks with anyone.

[nottu]

[ttjereth]

The very first time I came Japan was as an exchange student and there were 6 of us. 3 guys, 3 girls. We had a couple of amusing noobie moments.

The first was when I clocked on of my roommates with a soba husk pillow, not realizing it wasn't just a normal pillow until half way through the throw.

The other was when we were put up at the Keio Plaza in Shinjuku for a few days. The room's toilet had a washlet (bidet). We being three young, manly American guys, all swore we would never use it. After the first two days or so, me and the one other guy both admitted to using it, but the third guy swore he'd never use it and ragged on us about using.

Later that same day I found that the washlet had controls. Specifically, water pressure and temperature, so I turned off the water heater (turned the temperature as low as it would go) and cranked the pressure as high as it would go.

Later that evening me and guy 2 are sitting in room when we here guy 3 ("I'll never use that thing") let out this high pitched squeal from the bathroom.

[ttjereth]

Random Comments from Nippon Newbies

http://www.fuckedgaijin.com/forums/search.php?searchid=172335

[Osakadave]

I was just having dinner at my local yaki niku place. A couple fresh off the boaters (arrived downstairs from my place yesterday) walked in and asked the waiter, all in English "We're vegetarians. Do you have anything we can eat?"

[Kagetsu]

I was just having dinner at my local yaki niku place. A couple fresh off the boaters (arrived downstairs from my place yesterday) walked in and asked the waiter, all in English "We're vegetarians. Do you have anything we can eat?"

Ha ha... that's my sister in one. It made for very interesting (read fucked up) dinners.

[TFG]

Despite being here for nearly 2 1/2 years, I'm in the military, so my interaction with the locals is much less than the rest of the folks here. I did have a sort of newbie moment, which I wrote up on my site. I'm not linking it for hits or because I'm slyly spamming the boards, but because it's nearly three pages and too big for a post. Let me know if I'm wrong.

My One and Only Date with a Japanese Girl.

I think you ruined her game plan.
Sounds like she wanted to watch more movies till she missed her train.
It's a classic plot.

[Charles]

I was just having dinner at my local yaki niku place. A couple fresh off the boaters (arrived downstairs from my place yesterday) walked in and asked the waiter, all in English "We're vegetarians. Do you have anything we can eat?"

Ha.. You remind me of one of my friends from school here in the US, we both went over to study at the same school in Japan, and we were fresh off the boat at the same time. One day I arrived at school and found him sitting on the front steps with a look of abject despair. I asked him what was wrong. He said his host family would feed him nothing but meat, no vegetables or carbs. He said his intestines couldn't take it any more, he was always constipated and sick to his stomach. He begged his host family to cook some vegetables for him, even once in a while, but they just wouldn't do it. Apparently his host family thought they were doing him a big favor by feeding him a "typical American" 100% meat diet. At least their intentions were good.

[wuchan]

I leave another useless meeting at the main office. About eight of my coworkers and I get on to the train and proceed to do the normal thing western types do after leaving work, talk about how much we all hate it. After about 10 minutes a newer guy (who almost no one likes and spends all his time studying kanji) says "You guys should be quiet on the train, japanese people dont like it when people are loud here. I don't want to have to explain to them that you are foreigners and don't understand the rules."

[AlbertSiegel]

a newer guy (who almost no one likes and spends all his time studying kanji) says "You guys should be quiet on the train, japanese people dont like it when people are loud here. I don't want to have to explain to them that you are foreigners and don't understand the rules."

That's nothing a bitch slap won't fix

[kusai Jijii]

I had the misfortune of sitting next to a wanker on a plane the other day (comming back from Oz) who "informed" me, in all his infinite wisdom, that Kyoto and Melbourne had sooooo much in common, and that Nagoya was the most happening metropolis in all of the land. One of the most painful international flights I have ever had to endure.

[AssKissinger]

[quote="nottu"]Alright –]

Whew. I thought there might have been an even worse ending to that tale.

[Kagetsu]

I had the misfortune of sitting next to a wanker on a plane the other day (comming back from Oz) who "informed" me, in all his infinite wisdom, that Kyoto and Melbourne had sooooo much in common, and that Nagoya was the most happening metropolis in all of the land. One of the most painful international flights I have ever had to endure.

They totally do bro!... Like roads, and cars driving on the right and stuff!
People in both places wear clothing, and often shoes. They both have homeless people who sleep in the trainstations, and uh... You know... breathable air, skys etc.

Totally alike! ^_~

[Takechanpoo]

I had the misfortune of sitting next to a wanker on a plane the other day (comming back from Oz) who "informed" me, in all his infinite wisdom, that Kyoto and Melbourne had sooooo much in common, and that Nagoya was the most happening metropolis in all of the land. One of the most painful international flights I have ever had to endure.

They totally do bro!... Like roads, and cars driving on the right and stuff!
People in both places wear clothing, and often shoes. They both have homeless people who sleep in the trainstations, and uh... You know... breathable air, skys etc.

Totally alike! ^_~

You kidding me? This is nothing but a lip service to uncivilized Aussie, needless to say.
Apologize to Kyoto people, you two.
Identifying Kyoto with frivolous Melborum is a huge insult to Kyoto residents.
Conversly Melborune dudes should become delighted with it.

[Midwinter]

You kidding me? This is nothing but a lip service to uncivilized Aussie, needless to say.
Apologize to Kyoto people, you two.
Identifying Kyoto with frivolous Melborum is a huge insult to Kyoto residents.
Conversly Melborune dudes should become delighted with it.

I took a piss in Kyoto once, it was a good one.

[sillygirl]

Does that mean your J-mates were there? Ahh...that's an easy way to play the gaijin double-bluff. Much harder to keep it together when you can't exchange smirks with anyone.

Yes, J mates and long term FGs....

Will be able to post more after my next trip in November cos got some first timers coming with us....

...sigh....

...smirk..

[kusai Jijii]

You kidding me? This is nothing but a lip service to uncivilized Aussie, needless to say.
Apologize to Kyoto people, you two.
Identifying Kyoto with frivolous Melborum is a huge insult to Kyoto residents.
Conversly Melborune dudes should become delighted with it.

Ah yes, "frivolous". If ever there was a word that ain't in the salaryman lexicon...
Your game is seriously dropping Take.