no really ^^
i`d already had the horrible throat/choke cam a few weeks previously, and came back with an all clear for throat/stomach cancer
so it was time to lose my anal virginity, and got an all clear there also
what i was thinking was, in no small way, reading and posting here has improved my mental health while in japan, and got some kind of way at looking at my own situation
i know at times i must have seemed arrogant/stupid/naive/typical whining f*cked gaijin, and it could be thats exactly what i am..
but thanks to the ppl here, i have somehow managed to fall back in love with japan, even tho its not the japan i fell in love with all those years ago..
just as this happens, my long term future here seems uncertain..
my father has a reoccuring cancer growth in his lungs thanks to smoking for years, and recently his heart has not been good at all.
my brother has a mental disability thanks to been given either the wrong drug when he was born or one of a faulty batch that affected mostly ppl in scotland/ireland i think, but ppl in england as well
when my dad passes away, well its up to me to look after him, and theres no way he could come to japan
i knew this sort of thing would happen one day, and in fact had never planned on getting married for this reason, but, well, i just fell totally iin love with my wife..
so i dont know whats going to happen to my life or marriage in the future, and in that hospital, with that camera up my arse and lots of nurses watching, i wondered, how i`ve been able to get over a lot of my problems with japan since october
and most of them i feel have been worked out by reading your responses to my crys of help, and well just the everyday banter here
so, please accept my genuine apologies for all the annoyances i may have caused..
and a big THANK YOU for all your help, and humour here.
thats all really ^^
on.[/url] 
