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  • fuckedgaijin ‹ General ‹ Gaijin Ghetto

T.I.J. (This is Japan)

Groovin' in the Gaijin Gulag
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T.I.J. (This is Japan)

Postby GomiGirl » Tue Apr 27, 2004 2:26 pm

Seems to be a fave explanation for the inexplicable issues that are faced daily by FG's...

Made this into a sticky topic... please feel free to contribute your wierd and wonderful TIJ moments.

My contributions are as follows:

- Why the most technologically advanced country does not use computers for immigration processing

- Why it is OK to barge onto a train to grab a seat, knocking over kimono-clad ladies but it is not OK to speak into a cell phone.

- Airconditioning and outside temperatures are at complete opposite ends of the spectrum whatever the season.

- Hostages are billed for their own release and rescue missions.

- Your bicycle or umbrella will be stolen but no-one will jay-walk..

That's enough for today...
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T.I.J

Postby Marvin Feltcher » Tue Apr 27, 2004 3:05 pm

Why can't you buy shoelaces here? (And I mean normal ones, not the heavy duty types you use for footy boots)
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Re: T.I.J

Postby GomiGirl » Tue Apr 27, 2004 3:28 pm

Marvin wrote:Why can't you buy shoelaces here? (And I mean normal ones, not the heavy duty types you use for footy boots)


I have a cobbler* in my shopping street - I can check there for you if you like. But I am sure you can get them at a 100yen store.

But you could always steal them out of the shoes on display in the Prada store where Rob Pongi gets all his shoes.. :wink:

*This is for Kamome who didn't believe me when I used the term cobbler when talking about the "shoe repair guy"..
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Cobblers

Postby Marvin Feltcher » Tue Apr 27, 2004 4:06 pm

Sounds like a load of old cobblers to me!
(Not, mind you, that I would even suggest for a second, GG, that the veracity of your comments could ever come into question)
Actually, I don't need any shoelaces, but have always found it puzzling why they're so hard to find in Japan. I always thought it had something to do with the domination of the footwear business here by the outcasts.
Now, what I'd really like to find is some Jelly Babies (but not the Allen's ones covered in icing sugar, the normal sort you used to get in bags of mixed lollies) and licorice all-sorts!
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Postby DJEB » Tue Apr 27, 2004 4:10 pm

Why is it so incredibly difficult to find B.O. juice? I have to go to Kinokuniya just to get a stick of deoderant...
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BO juice

Postby Marvin Feltcher » Tue Apr 27, 2004 4:15 pm

Why is it so incredibly difficult to find B.O. juice?

Especially spray-on.
The local variety of roll-on really is like juice, too.
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Re: BO juice

Postby NeoNecroNomiCron » Tue Apr 27, 2004 5:39 pm

Marvin wrote:
Why is it so incredibly difficult to find B.O. juice?

Especially spray-on.
The local variety of roll-on really is like juice, too.


Actualy Gadspy[how ever the hell you spell it] has a line of spray on. Ypu can get it in most chemists/shops in the shaving section. Only problem its citrus smell. So you end up smelling like car/air freshiner.
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Re: BO juice

Postby Alcazar » Tue Apr 27, 2004 5:42 pm

NeoNecroNomiCron wrote:So you end up smelling like car/air freshiner.

Can you choose? I want to smell like 'New car smell' that you find hanging in taxis. 8O :)
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BO juice

Postby Marvin Feltcher » Tue Apr 27, 2004 5:44 pm

you end up smelling like car/air freshiner

I think I'd probably rather stink!
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Re: BO juice

Postby NeoNecroNomiCron » Tue Apr 27, 2004 5:48 pm

Alcazar wrote:
NeoNecroNomiCron wrote:So you end up smelling like car/air freshiner.

Can you choose? I want to smell like 'New car smell' that you find hanging in taxis. 8O :)


Which one is it mint or "Fresh"? I know they have. [this is deodarant I am still talking about]

Water mellon.
Citrus
Mint
Fresh

They have also come out with cheap after shave/perfume [Dont know exactly its a bit queer] I have tried to read the bottles. Most of it is in engrish. I probably would of understood better if it were in japanese.



[offtopic: in Virgin cinema, in the permier screen bar on the menue is some engrish i spotted[I dont actualy sport a lot of engrish] anyway. On the last page of the menu under cocktails. You can get a sea blease]
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Re: BO juice

Postby GuyJean » Tue Apr 27, 2004 5:59 pm

NeoNecroNomiCron wrote:Actualy Gadspy[how ever the hell you spell it] has a line of spray on.

For me, they suck!.. When mixed with my natural stank, they end up making me smell WORSE than just plain BO; Musty citrus funk.. Musty funk is better..

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Postby Ol Dirty Gaijin » Tue Apr 27, 2004 11:04 pm

All the money in the world, not a blade of grass in the park.
Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.
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Postby kamome » Tue Apr 27, 2004 11:11 pm

Shoelaces: Get thee to ABC Mart, where they have tons of different shoes, and shoelaces to boot!

Deoderant: I bring a 6-month stash of the good stuff back to Japan every time I visit the folks in the States.
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TIJ

Postby canman » Tue Apr 27, 2004 11:19 pm

They have the worlds most technically advanced toilets, and the WC are so damn cold due to the poor house construction that you freeze everywhere but your ass off while you are in doing your business.
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Fill 'er up

Postby mr. sparkle » Wed Apr 28, 2004 4:21 am

I want them to fill my coke up to the TOP at McD's!
I didn't say, "room for cream"....

FILL IT UP ALL THE WAY PEOPLE.

Make 'em do it....cheap bastards. :twisted:

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Re: TIJ

Postby kurohinge1 » Wed Apr 28, 2004 12:42 pm

canman1 wrote:They have the worlds most technically advanced toilets, and the WC are so damn cold due to the poor house construction that you freeze everywhere but your ass off while you are in doing your business.


That's what the "bottom shower" button is for - to warm you instantly and put that spring back in your step :wink:

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Just be careful with the power settings ...:oops:
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Great Sticky post

Postby Akisa » Thu Apr 29, 2004 8:28 am

Great sticky post Gomigirl, this should be good.
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Re: T.I.J. (This is Japan)

Postby Taro Toporific » Thu Apr 29, 2004 8:40 am

GomiGirl wrote:- Why the most technologically advanced country does not use computers for immigration processing...

Chhhchhhchhanges.
BEWARE FGs!
Narita ran my US passport through the JAPAN Immigration barcode scanner, scan/processed my Japanese visa stamp and also entered my Gaijin Card number into their NETWORKED computer when I left the Concrete Buttplug(tm) last Saturday. My guess all this new computerization more a counter-terror effort than anti-FG campaign but plenty of FGs ought to be scooped up at the end of Golden Week.
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Re: Fill 'er up

Postby GomiGirl » Thu Apr 29, 2004 11:38 am

mr. sparkle wrote:I want them to fill my coke up to the TOP at McD's!
I didn't say, "room for cream"....

FILL IT UP ALL THE WAY PEOPLE.


Nah Sparkle-san.. you forget that in Japan, value for money (or the perception) is not based on quantity, but rather quality.

Not sure if that can be extended to micky D's but you get what I mean. If anything, you are able to buy super small sizes of burgers etc for when you are only a bit hungry.. eg Freshness burger. [/i][/u]
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Re: Fill 'er up

Postby DJEB » Thu Apr 29, 2004 1:16 pm

GomiGirl wrote: Freshness burger.


How is it that a burger chain is able to stay in business when the food makes you feel ill* every time you eat it?






*To be fair, we could say T.I.C. as well. The same charge can be made of Harvey's in Canada.
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Re: Fill 'er up

Postby mr. sparkle » Thu Apr 29, 2004 3:42 pm

GomiGirl wrote:
mr. sparkle wrote:I want them to fill my coke up to the TOP at McD's!
I didn't say, "room for cream"....

FILL IT UP ALL THE WAY PEOPLE.


Nah Sparkle-san.. you forget that in Japan, value for money (or the perception) is not based on quantity, but rather quality.

Not sure if that can be extended to micky D's but you get what I mean. If anything, you are able to buy super small sizes of burgers etc for when you are only a bit hungry.. eg Freshness burger. [/i][/u]


OK, I'll buy that. The Ichi man melon is a great example. I don't mind smaller for extra high quality. I always go for the La Taqueria burrito--rather than the stomach logs in regular taquerias here in SF. It's small, but the ingredients are uber fresh and the meat is marinated in chile and lime. I love 'em.

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play the burrito game!

BTW, Rob Pongi can eat one freshness burger in one bite, though. I've seen him do it!

But about the drink thing...I've heard that it is because that not filling a nomimono all the way up to the top is good manners, indicating, "please come back and let us serve you more" kind of thing.

Could that be? Prob'ly heard that from the pong-meister!

DJEB--FBs make you ill? I thought they were kinda good.
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Re: Fill 'er up

Postby DJEB » Thu Apr 29, 2004 8:56 pm

mr. sparkle wrote: DJEB--FBs make you ill? I thought they were kinda good.

It's good that they've never made you ill. Maybe I'm the guy who always gets the bad burgers so that others don't have to... :wink:
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Re: Fill 'er up

Postby cstaylor » Thu Apr 29, 2004 11:40 pm

DJEB wrote:Maybe I'm the guy who always gets the bad burgers so that others don't have to... :wink:
What a guy, taking one for the team. ;)
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Postby DJEB » Thu Apr 29, 2004 11:57 pm

cstaylor wrote:
DJEB wrote:Maybe I'm the guy who always gets the bad burgers so that others don't have to... :wink:
What a guy, taking one for the team. ]
The Rock might say, "Know your role!" But I think Agent Smith was more eloquent:
There is no escaping reason; no denying purpose. Because, as we both know, without purpose we would not exist. It is purpose that created us. Purpose that connects us. Purpose that pulls us. That guides us. That drives us. It is purpose that defines us. Purpose that binds us.
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Purpose

Postby kurohinge1 » Fri Apr 30, 2004 8:11 am

DJEB wrote: ... The Rock might say, "Know your role!" But I think Agent Smith was more eloquent:
There is no escaping reason]


"It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others"

I've seen that somewhere before .... :lol:
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Purpose?

Postby Akisa » Fri Apr 30, 2004 8:40 am

Well, you can believe that purpose crap if you want to, but the truth is that there no such thing as purpose. Hard to swallow for many, but true. Puposed was a concept created by man to get other men to work.
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Re: Purpose

Postby bejiita » Fri Apr 30, 2004 11:47 am

kurohinge1 wrote:"It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others"

I've seen that somewhere before .... :lol:


I can't remember which month it was on my calendar, but does it really matter?

And if there is no such thing as purpose, the video game industry would go down the toilet. Does anyone remember the first RPG video games besides Wizardry that had no purpose? All you did was walk around the dungeons killing shit. No quests, no goals, no nothing. Boring.
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Re: Purpose

Postby Caustic Saint » Fri Apr 30, 2004 12:16 pm

bejiita wrote:And if there is no such thing as purpose, the video game industry would go down the toilet. Does anyone remember the first RPG video games besides Wizardry that had no purpose? All you did was walk around the dungeons killing shit. No quests, no goals, no nothing. Boring.

Ah, but if you could "identify item 9" - then you were in for some good times. :D
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Re: Purpose?

Postby GomiGirl » Fri Apr 30, 2004 12:22 pm

Akisa wrote:Well, you can believe that purpose crap if you want to, but the truth is that there no such thing as purpose. Hard to swallow for many, but true. Puposed was a concept created by man to get other men to work.


Another existentialist!! Such little rays of sunshine..

but the trick is to not be so dark, otherwise people will stop inviting you to parties. :wink:
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Re: Purpose?

Postby cstaylor » Fri Apr 30, 2004 12:42 pm

Akisa wrote:Well, you can believe that purpose crap if you want to, but the truth is that there no such thing as purpose. Hard to swallow for many, but true. Puposed was a concept created by man to get other men to work.
Your body has a purpose... an elaborate scheme to help the Universe convert energy to waste heat. ;)
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