Fucked Gaijin's Guide to Japan

[Pencilslave]

Have any of you longtimers(Steve Bilderman,bikkle,Taro Toporific,Gomigirl,etc) ever thought of writing a no bullshit guide to Japan for tourists and people who plan on being expats? Something that dispels all the illusions people have about how Japan is a perfect haven of safety,respect and politeness and tells it like it really is.



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[Steve Bildermann]

Have any of you longtimers(Steve Bilderman,bikkle,Taro Toporific,Gomigirl,etc) ever thought of writing a no bullshit guide to Japan for tourists and people who plan on being expats

I thought that was we were doing here...

[Pencilslave]

Have any of you longtimers(Steve Bilderman,bikkle,Taro Toporific,Gomigirl,etc) ever thought of writing a no bullshit guide to Japan for tourists and people who plan on being expats

I thought that was we were doing here...

I mean write a book-A travel guide that tells the honest truth about Japan.

[Taro Toporific]

I mean write a book-A travel guide that tells the honest truth about Japan.

JAPAN, the honest truth

by taro

Chapter 1

Don't come.

Chapter 2

Leave soon if you came.

The End.

[Charles]

Have any of you longtimers(Steve Bilderman,bikkle,Taro Toporific,Gomigirl,etc) ever thought of writing a no bullshit guide to Japan for tourists and people who plan on being expats

I thought that was we were doing here... :D

Is that what we're doing here? I thought that this was where we all sat around and commisserated over how fucked we were, and warned people about how fucked they were about to be.

I gradually came to the conclusion that you can't tell people squat. Students going overseas used to ask me for books or advice to prepare them for their impending trip, and I told them just forget it, don't load yourself with someone else's preconceptions, nothing can possibly prepare you for Japan. Of course this assumed that these students had prepared with language studies, that's about the best you can do.
And even THEN, once they're IN Japan, you can tell them what is happening right in front of their faces and they won't understand a word you're saying. Let me give you my moment of epiphany, when I finally understood that some people are living on another plane of existence.
I went to school out in the inaka, and some of the students had terrible trouble getting around on the densha. They'd ask me how to get to their destination, and I'd tell them to take the koen-mae or the eki-mae densha. Then they'd ask me which densha to take, the #3 or the #5, which went in opposite directions. But there was only one problem, both the ekimae and koenmae were marked as the same #5 densha. The #5 had two different routes, one stopped at the eki and turned around, the other continued on past the eki to the park. So you could get on the #5 ekimae and never get to outbound stops past the eki. They never could figure this out even after I explained it to them. Now even the most lame of students at my school could easily have figured out the kanji for eki or koen after a few weeks, and they easily could have read the kanji on the approaching densha, but they persisted in trying to ride the densha by number, which had about a 50/50 chance of getting them to the destination. So I gave up, when they asked me how to get to their stop, I just told them, I didn't know.
There really are two planes of existence in Japan. One contains people who are at least partly aware of what is happening around them. The other contains people who are oblivious to their surroundings, they are blind to what is happening. We buddhists call this Delusion, our feeble minds keep us from seeing things as they really are, causing suffering. You cannot wake someone up from their delusions unless they want to be awakened. So don't even bother. The ones that want to be awakened will do just fine on their own. The ones that don't, there's nothing you can do for them.

[jingai]

The book I wanted to write The Yakuza Movie Book already came out, too. I would have done it had I gotten that Fulbright, but alas...

[kotatsuneko]

not an expat book or anything but the best guide book on the place i ever read (and i must have read 30-40) is

Japan Inside Out: its huge, and even then the font is tiny as there is soo much good detail inside.

other than that, anything by Alan really.

anyone got a copy of "devils gods and cameramen?" I'll pay over the odds for it!

[Pencilslave]

[quote="&quot"]not an expat book or anything but the best guide book on the place i ever read (and i must have read 30-40) is

Japan Inside Out: its huge, and even then the font is tiny as there is soo much good detail inside.

other than that, anything by Alan really.

Thanks for the info, Ultra,etc. Btw Neko, who is this guy Alan you're talking about?

[AssKissinger]

Have any of you longtimers(Steve Bilderman,bikkle,Taro Toporific,Gomigirl,etc) ever thought of writing a no bullshit guide to Japan for tourists and people who plan on being expats? Something that dispels all the illusions people have about how Japan is a perfect haven of safety,respect and politeness and tells it like it really is.



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If anybody's gonna write a no BULLSHIT guide it'll be me except I ain't gonna so I guess it'll never happen.

My advice, come for a year, get your dick sucked, blow your cash in India and go home. Don't fuck up your life like I did. I'm with Taro

And what I do know I'll post on here for all to see for free I don't need to be some book writing corporate cocksucker

http://www.fuckedgaijin.com/forums/showthread.php?t=4569&highlight=countryside

[karekora]

I’m guessing Alan Bouth. Haven’t read any of his stuff.

I quite like the book by Will Ferguson - Hokkaido Highway Blues.

Maybe not the ‘truthful’ book your looking for though.
This book isn’t accurate, but it's a laugh all the same!!

[GomiGirl]

Charles is right *gasp*.

There is nothing worse than somebody using their experiences to write a "tell all" book that will apply for everybody else. The real truth is only what you know it to be.

I could write my memoirs so you could see things through my eyes but it would be about as boring as bat guano so only useful to line your budgie's cage.

Anyway, far be it from me to dispel anybody's illusions. I live in an illusion myself so would hate to have mine shattered.

[AssKissinger]

Well before I came to Japan this Vietnamese guy told me anybody can get laid in Japan but I've known some people who've tried and failed. But I got laid so fuck it.

[samuraiwig]

Will Ferguson's book is Alan Booth or Donald Ritchie lite. Think the grizzled veterans of the trenches generally represented here need something with a bit more gristle.

But I heard his later effort 'Happiness', which I haven't read, was pretty well received.

A FG Guide to Japan would be self-defeating. As mentioned, everyone who makes the initial step to come here has already made the leap of faith and at that stage will bulldoze any arguments to the contrary. It takes time to become as worldly wise/cynical [ ] as some of the denizens of FG, and most people leave long before any advice dispensed by the regulars would make any sense to them.

[GomiGirl]

Something that dispels all the illusions people have about how Japan is a perfect haven of safety,respect and politeness and tells it like it really is.

Why is this a problem anyway? If people are coming to Japan expecting Utopia then they are deluding themselves anyway.

Utopia is an idea and nothing more. It is like infinity - it doesn't exist but used as a measure.

(For further information - please see existentialists-r-us.com )

[dimwit]

An all authoritative guide would be no fun at all. Just think of the fun we have without threads like this

I think everyone has to find there own way to fuckidness and I certainly doubt there would be much of a consensus as to what constitutes bullshit among the veterians here.