I only wanted a key ...

[DrP]

"Now all you have to do is hold the chicken, bring me the toast, charge me for the sandwich, and you haven't broken any rules."

I lost my housekey and had to get another. Simple, huh? Anywhere except f*d Japan. I duely apologized to my landlord, official letter, gift and all and she gave me the master key to make a copy. Took it to the key shop where I'd been before. Easy enough. It's a single tumbler, Schlage type - very basic.

The keyguy says 'sorry can't do it'. And hands it back. 'Why?' I asked. 'We don't have the blank', he said. 'Yes you do' I said , and pointed to it on the wall. 'Not the same' he replied, the name is different. 'Let's try' I said - I'm sure it's gonna work - you did it before!' 'NO way' he said. 'F*CK' I said, and left.

Tokyu Hands -- went through same thing - except I offered the keyguy ichi-man as a bribe to make my key with a generic blank. He got embarassed and finally succumbed. Told me that he couldn't guarantee it because the generic blank was 'chotto chigau'. It was identical except for the non-tumbler end. Went back to the house - it worked perfectly as I expected. He wouldn't accept my bribe. Hell, I can pick my door with a nail file. Shouldn't even have bothered with a new key to begin with.

Miffed - I went BACK to the original keyguy and handed him the copy I had made at Tokyu Hands. He promptly cut me a copy. Then I showed him the original key that he refused to make the first time. Shogunai!

2keys 2500Y about 10x more than anywhere else on the planet. And I had to literally bribe them to do the job my 6yo niece could have done in her sleep.

Avoidance, denial, suicide.

KEYGUY
(challenging him)
You want me to hold the chicken.

GAIJIN
Yeah. I want you to hold it between
your knees.