Japanese Masters get Closer to Toilet Nirvana

[cstaylor]

(ultraEDIT: reg free link)

Yet another article by the New York Times about Japan... (registration required)

Japan's toilet wars started in February, when Matsushita engineers here unveiled a toilet seat equipped with electrodes that send a mild electric charge through the user's buttocks, yielding a digital measurement of body-fat ratio.

Here's the best quote... what's missing from this sentence?

Some money can be made by exporting toilets to countries with comparatively primitive toilet cultures, like China and Vietnam.

Huh? Should the word U-N-I-T-E-D S-T-A-T-E-S be in there? Toilet facilities in the average American home suck.

[GomiGirl]

Japan's toilet wars started in February, when Matsushita engineers here unveiled a toilet seat equipped with electrodes that send a mild electric charge through the user's buttocks, yielding a digital measurement of body-fat ratio.

mild electric charge????

Having grown up in a country where electric fences are everywhere, one learns that electric charges and streaming urine should never be brought into close proximity. People get a very rude shock if they happen to pee onto an electric fence... actually I will change that to, men get a ... I doubt a girl has ever wanted to achieve let alone successfully achieved this feat.

I get the shivers just thinking about it.

[Taro Toporific]

Are Robo-benjo,'Closer to Toilet Nirvana'?

Sure! 'Domo arigoto Mr. Roboto.'

Leave it to the New York Times to get it all wrong about Japan. Their snide article fails to grasp is we Japanese really, really NEED these fancy talking toilets because:

1) DAMN, WINTER' COMIN'! That warmed seat is going to help production.

2) Many robo-toilets are retro-fitted over squatting hole without a flush. At my rice ranch,like many, uses a robo-toilet because everyone living on the farm is over 70 years old and squatting is getting to be a chore.

3) The obsessive-compulsive clean-freaks here need bidet toilets, disinfectant, wet wipes, masking sprays and trice-a-day change panty liners.

4) Besides, didn't you know that Japanese intestines are uniquely longer due to rice eating? We need a fire hose to clean up our uniqueness. ^_^

Oh, and don't forget the FREE JAPANESE COWBOY HATS (think of graffiti and an arrow pointing to toilet seat paper cover dispenser).

Flush this: 'There are more high-tech toilet seats in Japan than there are personal computers.' (1)


Yours in the toilet,

Taro/Tom Toporific, proud-as-poop owner of the Hitachi 'Tech Toilet'

_____ It's toporific! ____


(1) Cornell, Andrew. 'Technology-crazy Japan,' The Australian Financial Review, September 29, 1999, pp.1 & 18.

[kamome]

I was so psyched when I moved into my hi-tech toilet-equipped apartment. Then I used its features once and never used it again. Just not necessary, you know?

[jasper]

Wait till you put on a few more years. I miss my HTtoilet now that I moved. Was great for simulating bowel movements on cold winter mornings.