Barking dogs

[Mennon]

I used to live in a shitty apartment building next door to the huge, three-storied house of the landlord. His dog, a huge beast tied up to the fence and never walked in the year I lived in this dump, would bark constantly. They never gave it water, even in the middle of Summer, so I basically kept it alive for six months. It barked at me when I gave it water, but I couldn't let it die of thirst. I asked the old bitch who lived there to please do something about it, to stop it from barking, and she promptly went out the back with a broomstick and beat the living crap out of it. Didn't stop it barking though. I called the city council, and asked them to do something about it. I told them that they were treating this animal cruelly. They told me that if it was barking so much, then it must be healthy, and so what can they do? I moved out finally, but wouldn't you know it, there's another fucking dog next door that barks all the time.

No polite requests to the neighbours. No pleading with the authorities. I want this fucker dead, preferably without any pain or suffering (me and the dog. Don't care about the neighbours). It's one of those fucking yellow dogs with the curly tail, a Shiba I think it is. Prime of its life.

Any advice?

[FG Lurker]

Yeah. Climb to the top of your building and jump. End of problem.

[kuru]

While you're at it - would you mind swinging around my place.
I can't see the mut, but I know it's there; since I can hear it bloody barking 24/7!

Oh yeah, and is killing political activists with too many loudspeakers on their vans, considered a crime in Japan? 'Cos I'm this close to going postal!

[This is a pen]

Your Solution





And......... I am not necessarily saying you need to aim at the dog.

[FG Lurker]

Your Solution





And......... I am not necessarily saying you need to aim at the dog.

You need one with a wrist brace if you're going to get enough power and accuracy.

[This is a pen]

Here we go!! Problem Solved!!

[FG Lurker]

Here we go!! Problem Solved!!

That'd do it. Just add pachinko balls.

[AssKissinger]

I don't blame you for wanting the dog dead. I hate when I can't even relax in my own fucking home. Killing a dog isn't rocket science. When no one is watching give it some poisoned meat. I guess getting your hands on real bonafide poisons like strychnine isn't so easy. But a lot of things can kill dogs. Spray pesticides are really gnarly here for example. Coat some beef strips in that stuff and presto. Dogs love to slurp up anti-freeze, by the way.

[Maths Dude]

Get a barking dog CD and play it real loud all day untill they complain. Then offer them a deal. "You get rid of your dog, and I'll get rid of mine".

[FG Lurker]

It's not the dog's fault, and killing it will probably only result in it being replaced.

If you want to fix the issue, take out the owners. Then find the dog a new home.

[AssKissinger]

Get a barking dog CD and play it real loud all day untill they complain. Then offer them a deal. "You get rid of your dog, and I'll get rid of mine".

For a guy with a very little penis you're pretty funny.

[Mels]

YIKES I can imagine how fucking annoying it can be....but I hope you aren't serious about hurting the dog. Hurt the damn owners...they fucking suck. Or let the dog loose to run away, maybe...
That poor thing.....because of asshole owners, the dog becomes a nuisance to the neighborhood.

Why people like that have dogs is beyond me. Be cool if you could give it something to fall asleep...but then that can become an expense for you...cut its vocal cords....

[Maths Dude]

I think dogs bark when they are bored and are with any of the 'pack'. Probably what happend was they bought the dog for the kids, the kids grew up, and now the dog is a problem. Other than talking to the owners or doing what I suggested, I think there is no alternative other than to move out and find another place to live. This time, scope out the place for anything that might offend your ears. Knock on the door of the neighbors place and, before you sign the contract, ask if there are any friggin party animals or dogs nearby. You might lose what 100,000 yen or so. But I think a good nights sleep is priceless.

[Maths Dude]

I meant are not with any of the 'pack'.

[GargoyleTS]

No no no no no.

You are going the problem from the wrong end of the solution. Swine before pearls and all that.

Make the dog owning a serious issue for them, but do not punish the poor animal for it.

Well, no more than you must to make the owners get rid of it and have serious thoughts about never owning an animal again.

Do creative things, like research what kinds of food might give a friendly and hungry animal a serious case of baby-shits. Smelly and runny are the targets goals of this exercise. (avoid chocolate, good shits, but caffeine is bad for the animal and likely to kill it)

Or perhaps see if there is a doggy-equivalent to catnip and then buy some cheap stuffed toys, spray/douse/imbue them with the stuff and chuck the poor things to the now eager to tear the stuffing out of anything it can touch puppy to play with.

Want some peace and quiet immediately? Peanutbutter on white bread. Price is no object, dogs don't care about week old bread and low-class PB, they'll eat it and be quiet the whole time. One sandwich is good for about 15-20 minutes, maybe longer if the dog has a small mouth and you tear it into decent sized bits for it to hunt, chew, spend a hilarious few minutes trying to lick of its upper-pallate and find another morsel of blessed, silence inducing goodness. (honestly, this is a show all its own!)

Like I said, be creative. Make a game of it. The dog will be having fun, you'll be having fun and the owners will have a horrid yard their more-respectable neighbors will complain to the owners about as well as maybe a terrible Stench-O-Doom if you can find good Demon-shit inducing foods for the perky pup to eat. I know its money out of your pocket you'd rather spend elsewhere, but true vengeance is never cheap and I think you might regret actually killing someone's animal.

And if you do decide to kill the animal, please, for god's sake do not feed the animal anti-freeze. It is not peaceful, it winds up turning their blood highly acidic while the animal is still alive. I had a cat die recently because of anti-freeze poisoning and got to read all the horrible things that it does to the animal.

[Buraku]

Here we go!! Problem Solved!!

That'd do it. Just add pachinko balls.

Target the stupid owner, not the dumb-dog

[This is a pen]

Target the stupid owner, not the dumb-dog

I already sort of said that.

And......... I am not necessarily saying you need to aim at the dog.

[plaid_knight]

Order a dog whistle. When the dog starts walking, walk past the place and blow the whistle: negative reinforcement.

[Maths Dude]

Yeah, I like that idea. But wouldnt it be more fun to give the owners a taste of their own medicine?

[cynix]

A dog's well-being is more important than that of humans. What a world.

[Mels]

A dog's well-being is more important than that of humans. What a world.

Where did this come from? Who said anything about a dog's well-being is more important to a humans well-being?

It is the human owners who are at fault. They are the ones who had the choice to adopt. In the US, owners are fined, cited or jailed for inhumane actions toward animals. IF they can't handle a pet, don't get a pet. If they can't handle the critisicm, then be responsible or don't have a pet.

So yes, I look harshly at the owners. It is because of those arse's that create dogs that bark and become a nusiance in the community.

I look at parents when kids are unruly and become a pain in the arse as well.

Alittle off the subject, but animal related... I think dogs do get a bad rap. They have to be put on leashes here....if they poop, you have to pick it up. No, I am not saying those aren't great laws.. but damn, CATS shit, pee and do whatever and where ever they want. (of course you would not fear being attaked by a cat---unless it was PUSS-N-BOOTS)...Put it ticks me off when you are gardening and find cat poop.....or you smell cat pee all over...and it is a shitty smell. Inside cats are cool, put I do hate it when owners just let their cats roam around the neighborhood...hmmmm although it would be funny to see one being walked on a leash LOL

[cynix]

A dog's well-being is more important than that of humans. What a world.

Where did this come from? Who said anything about a dog's well-being is more important to a humans well-being?

From all the "kill the owners, not the dog" comments...

[FG Lurker]

A dog's well-being is more important than that of humans. What a world.

Where did this come from? Who said anything about a dog's well-being is more important to a humans well-being?

From all the "kill the owners, not the dog" comments...

The owners are the source of the problem, not the dog. Killing the dog will likely only result in it being replaced, and the replacement could end up being bigger and louder.

I don't think anyone has seriously suggested killing the owners, although it would take care of the dog problem. However only the owners are going to be able to take care of the problem in any sort of permanent way. If they refuse to listen to reason and the authorities will not step in, you have to make having the dog unpleasant enough for them that they either train it to not bark or remove it.

Avoiding the problem in the first place would have been the most desired course of action of course...