'Tissue Time'

[Taro Toporific]

Mospeng-kun: tissue-dispensing robot
Pink Tentacle; 16 March 2007----Mospeng-kun is a tissue-dispensing robot created by InterRobot Inc.....When the friendly Mospeng-kun detects a person nearby, it utters a high-pitched onegai shimasu and offers up a pack of tissues......
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[Charles]

...When the friendly Mospeng-kun detects a person nearby, it utters a high-pitched onegai shimasu and offers up a pack of tissues.

Ah, and therein lies the robot's fundamental flaw. The robot will give a packet to any person. A human in the same job would generally refuse to acknowledge the presence of a gaijin, and certainly would never offer them a packet.

I remember many years ago when I first encountered this strange behavior, back when I was in summer school. All the students would get off at the eki in front of the Wako depato, where every morning, dozens of Wako employees were handing out thousands of packets of tissues to everyone.. except us gaijin students. Some students even begged for tissues but they would stare right past you like you weren't even there. We students all spent plenty of money at Wako (it was the only store near the school), many of us had hay fever and we all had the myriad of standard reasons to want free tissues just like any nihonjin. Some of the students were so infuriated that they asked the staff at our school to speak directly to Wako management and ask them make the tissue-hander-outers to stop shunning the students.
A few days later, our school's chief administrator made a statement to all the students. He had spoken with the management at Wako, and expressed that the foreign students were a part of the community, and to shun them was an insult to these students who had traveled across the globe to be part of their community. And to my astonishment, he announced that Wako had agreed with his reasoning, and that the tissue people were under orders not to discriminate against gaijin. A victory for kokusaika was declared.
On my next day's travel to school, I was deluged with offers for tissues. It was like they were determined to find as many gaijin and make sure they were offered tissues. Every day after that, I was always offered plenty of tissues, so many that I often declined to take them.

[Neo-Rio]

It's a bit slow.

Oh, the fun you could have with a small army of these robots going haywire.

[Doctor Stop]

Now, watch the unemployment rate for twenty-somethings skyrocket.

[GomiGirl]

You can always get tissues from the people outside Meguro station. But anywhere else it can be tough.

[Charles]

It's a bit slow.

Oh, the fun you could have with a small army of these robots going haywire.

I wonder what would happen if a little 2 year old kid walked up to the robot, eye level to where the robot arm whips out the pack.

[Doctor Stop]

The kid is killed outright. InterRobot Inc. expresses regret over the incident and promises to improve the safety of their products in the future (which they never do), yet they do not admit liability. The parents settle for funeral expenses after a five year court battle and never recoup their legal expenses. They divorce soon afterwards.

Next question.

[JustInJapan]

Bwhahahaha!, leave that in some western country and it will get gangraped, bwhahahaha!

[Kuang_Grade]

On one of my first trips to Japan, I had a similar experience as Charles...I was in Shinjuku and I saw someone handing out tissues. While I normally didn't take them, at that moment, I was in actual need of a tissue and thought to myself, 'hey Japan is great, isn't it?'. But then the person refused to give me a packet. So I stood there and gestured for a packet and after the 3rd time, the young man sighed and handed one to me. I had thought that I was being discriminated against and I wasn't going to put up with that. But as I was telling this story to a friend that afternoon, I showed the packet to my friend and he said the ad on the packet was for gynecology clinic. So it turns out it was probably my gender was the determining factor in the person's reluctance in giving me the packet.

[Charles]

On one of my first trips to Japan, I had a similar experience as Charles...I was in Shinjuku and I saw someone handing out tissues. While I normally didn't take them, at that moment, I was in actual need of a tissue and thought to myself, 'hey Japan is great, isn't it?'. But then the person refused to give me a packet. So I stood there and gestured for a packet and after the 3rd time, the young man sighed and handed one to me. I had thought that I was being discriminated against and I wasn't going to put up with that. But as I was telling this story to a friend that afternoon, I showed the packet to my friend and he said the ad on the packet was for gynecology clinic. So it turns out it was probably my gender was the determining factor in the person's reluctance in giving me the packet.

Well they all have some excuse like that. I remember being denied a packet in Akihabara, the guy told me they were for nihonjin only. A few feet away someone else was handing out the same packets, and I received one. They were advertising a phone sex chat line. I guess the hander-outer presumed the chat line didn't want foreigners, as everyone knows foreigners can't speak Japanese.

[Greji]

Well they all have some excuse like that. I remember being denied a packet in Akihabara, the guy told me they were for nihonjin only. A few feet away someone else was handing out the same packets, and I received one. They were advertising a phone sex chat line. I guess the hander-outer presumed the chat line didn't want foreigners, as everyone knows foreigners can't speak Japanese.

That's weird Charles. I have never had that happen. If they see a FJ they may not offer one right off (except GG who they immedately recognize as a sucker and offer her the whole box), if you hold out your hand they will give you one forthwith.

These people are usually part-timers and their job is not over until they have handed out all of their allotment. Hell, sometimes, they will be handing out two and three at the same time.

[Charles]

That's weird Charles. I have never had that happen. If they see a FJ they may not offer one right off (except GG who they immedately recognize as a sucker and offer her the whole box), if you hold out your hand they will give you one forthwith.

YMMV. The Wako Incident I described was in Hakodate, out in the inaka where the mere presence of a gaijin is sufficiently rare enough to cause a public spectacle. But even in Tokyo, we already have others in this thread who confirm that they have trouble receiving tissues. I, for one, welcome the replacement of bigoted tissue hander-outers with our new robot overlords.

[etto_neh]

After 8 years of dodging very aggressive pamphletting toreador assholes in NYC (actually got a papercut once), it's kinda nice to be semi-ignored by the tissue folk. I'd say it happens about 1/3 of the time (in Osaka). I also like the extra elbow room on the trains, which happens almost all the time. I'm cup-half-full kinda guy like that.

I think a big reason this happens is that most of the FG I see seem to have a very brooding, unhappy look and tend to walk with that slightly faster 'get outta my way' posture. I don't blame us FG AT ALL, and I'm guilty of it maybe 1/2 the time, but in my case it's not because I'm headed toward some shitty shift at Nova (I'm not saying I'm better; depending on the month, I may make less money than you) - I just picked it up from NYC I guess ( and also because I think we FG are continuously thinking of creative ways to punt these Osaka obaasans who have all the social grace of Hitler's Einsatzgruppen).

[amdg]

I don't know about Tokyo but in Osaka I usually get the tissues, and only on the rare occasion I get the hand that pulls away as soon as they see my face. Once, when I asked, the girl apologized and said that she was told that she could only give them to Japanese. No hard feelings there.

However, quite by accident I discovered the way to always get the tissues without fail - just wear a hayfever mask. The fact that only Japanese people wear those masks is the key feature. It introduces a logical disconnect that takes too long for the average Japanese to process, and in the meantime their hand is still extended and you get the tissues.

"Brown hair and blue eyes" + "salaryman suit and kafunsho mask" = paralysis.

[Samurai_Jerk]

However, quite by accident I discovered the way to always get the tissues without fail - just wear a hayfever mask.

Any gaijin that does that should be shot ... repeatedly.

[amdg]

Any gaijin that does that should be shot ... repeatedly.

Obviously not a hayfever sufferer, are you? There are some days I'd almost prefer to be shot than to have my paranasal sinuses exploding.

[American Oyaji]

Obviously not a hayfever sufferer, are you? There are some days I'd almost prefer to be shot than to have my paranasal sinuses exploding.

Hayfever sucks dude. I feel your pain.

In Hachinohe, In the five years I lived there, I can probably count on one hand the number of times I didn't get a tissue when I needed one.

It may be because the town is so small that people knew I was local. (Plus the fact I was wearing a suit).

Well. Hachinohe isn't really small. The downtown portion is VERY small. But it is fairly spread out suburban wise. I miss that town actually.