Nigerian Pimps; Being Pimped

[Big Booger]

From:Barrister Goodwill Ibe Okoh,
GOODWILL OKOH & ASSOCIATES.
#3 Allen Avenue,Ikeja,
Lagos, Nigeria.

Sir/madam,
I am Goodwill Okoh, personal attorney to Mr PATRICK MEADE, an
expartriate who used to work with Nigeria Agip Oil Company (NAOC),here in
Nigeria.
On the 21st of April 2001, my client was killed in an automobile
accident. Since then I have made several enquiries to locate any of my
client's extended relatives. This has proved unsuccessful. After several
unsuccessful attempts, I decided to trace his relatives over the internet
hence I contacted you.

I contacted you to assist in repartriating the money left behind by my
client before it gets confiscated or declared unserviceable by the bank
where this deposit was lodged. Particularly, the bank where the
deceased had an account valued at US$7,500,000.00 (Seven Million, Five Hundred
Thousand United States Dollars).
The bank has issued me a notice to provide a next-of-kin of the
deceased to inherit the funds or have the account confiscated. Since I have
been unsuccesfull in locating his biological relatives for over 2 years,
I now seek your consent to present you to the bank as next-of-kin of
the deceased since you bear the same surname, so that the proceeds of
this account valued at US$7.5M
can be paid to you and then you and me can share the money; 55% to me
and 40% to you,while 5% will be for expenses and inheritance tax, as
your government may require.

I have all necessary legal documents that will be used to back up our
inheritance claims. All I require is your honest co-operation to enable
us see the deal through. I guarantee that this will be executed under a
legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the
law.
Please contact me to enable us discuss further.

Yours faithfully,
Goodwill I. Okoh.
PRINCIPAL,
GOODWILL OKOH & ASSOCIATES.
TEL: +234 803 384 2814.
FAX: +2341 791 2597.

[Big Booger]

That is the scam above. My reply below:


Dear Goodwill I. Okoh,
Oh my, I don't know what to say. Assuming this is true, and I'll need some proof, perhaps a picture of the deceased, birth certificate, death certificate, or any combination of the aforementioned, it sounds like a wonderful opportunity.

Since I am on disabled social security and surviving with the bare necessities of life, this certainly will help me overcome all the medical expenses I have procured over the course of the years. I also owe the government a large sum for a little taxation issue. I disagreed with the government on the percentage of taxes I should have been paying back in 1985, and well since then, they have claimed that I have avoided paying my taxes. Of course you understand I didn't avoid paying the taxes, I just avoided paying the percentage they felt that I owed.

As far as sending the necessary legal documents, I would appreciate two copies of each, one for my records and one to send my attorney. He of course will have to look any and all documentation over to insure that the paperwork is legitimate, and without fail, as soon as he has proven the authenticity of said documents I will take heed of that and we shall begin this process.

Now as for the percentages, I'd only ask for 35% and would of course give the other 5% to a charity in Nigeria. I know that the children of Nigeria are in dire straights, and I feel that being an honest Christian, that in my heart, those kids deserve all that we can spare. So I would ask you as well, in order to obtain my consent to also donate 5% of your part in the funds to a charity in Nigeria. Certainly, you being Nigerian and all, you wouldn't object to such a small request.

Further, I'd request that the funds be sent via western union money gram. As I don't rely on banks too much. You see back in spring of 1992, I had a disagreement with the bank manager at my bank, Citizens, and well, it was a such a small amount. But I figured since it was such a small amount that, if they'd steal that little by being devious, treacherous, and otherwise trying to boondoggle me, well.. I just couldn't live another moment with my networth being wrestled in the hands of a crook.

So I took all my money, and put it in a safe above my bed. There is a picture over the safe as to prevent any kind of burglar or thief from claiming it through illicit means. By the way the painting is a Picasso work, one of his early cubist visions. Absolutely stunning I might add. Are you a purveyor of art? If so we might have to discuss this in more detail.

Now about your telephone number, I am limited in state to state and direct dialed calls. Therefore I must say, regrettably that I cannot call you overseas. You can however call me freely anytime, morning, noon, or night. If for some reason I am unavailable to take your call I urge you to leave a message with all the details.
My number is:

1-615-744-4000

alternatively, you can use our free dial number though I doubt it is a free call from Nigeria. I will however provide it to you just in case:

1-888-837-4170

All I ask is that you leave your name and number and reason for the call. I get so many calls that it is hard to sort out who is calling. Surely you can understand that.

I have to also state that I am broken hearted that a relative of mine has passed on without my knowledge. And I'd also ask, how is this person related to me, as I know of no one by the name of Patrick Meade on any side of my family, either maternal or paternal. If you could somehow shed light on the relation of said relative, I'd surely be appreciative.

I wonder if Patrick Meade enjoyed donuts. I love them so. Seeing as many of my family members liked them, it would be a great joy to know that he/she also liked them. I love them with milk and I like glazed, powered, and chocolate donuts. They are the best in my humble opinion.

Well, I must close for now. Looking forward to your reply. Do not hestitate to contact me by phone or by email. I am looking forward to the schematics of this deal.

Yours for a better day.

Those phone numbers are for the FBI LOL I hope they reply. This will be interesting.

[Kanchou]

Haven't several of the suckers in that scam actually gone to Nigeria, where they were murdered?

I wonder what happens if someone decides to play along... With an M14 and a Glock 20 tagging along as company, of course!

Now that's my kind of safari hunt

[CAkOS]

Hilarious. a must read!

[Big Booger]

Hilarious. a must read!

I recommend that if you get one of these letters via email, write them back. Aggrevate the shit out of them. If they get 100,000 bogus replies, they'll eventually give up..