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  • fuckedgaijin ‹ General ‹ Campus

How to Make Transistional Relationships in Japan Stick????

Discuss learning Japanese, study abroad and ryuugakusei life. Thinking about studying in Japan? Get the scoop here!
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How to Make Transistional Relationships in Japan Stick????

Postby chacha » Wed Apr 01, 2020 8:15 am

Fuckedgaijin no minnasama he

I am going to study abroad in Tokyo for one year in September. (Will that still even be possible?)
I will turn 20 upon arrival.
During this year, I would like to make the transistion from intermediate level Japanese fluency to a more advanced degree.

One thing that has brothered me a lot is the nature of transistional relationships not only in Japan but just in the college lifestyle in general.
I do not think asking an internet forum would be rather helpful but most of you have lived in Japan for a long time.
A lot of friendships I have made with Japanese exchange students at my university is how fast the relationship deterites once they return home.
Due to the coronavirus, lots of them have returned home and it does not really seem like these friendships will last.

I guess my question is:
How do you cultivate real friendships in Japan?
Where can I find a club to join?
What are some things I should not do that would deter from my expirence?

I am not a shy nor timid person, I am pretty social! Yet before I arrive to Japan, I want to really learn how to become an effective communicator and listener so
I can achieve the most out of my stay!
Yet I feel so sorry to say it but it seems like there is a huge learning curve when figuring out how to communicate with
Japanese people.

Thank you!
chacha
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Re: How to Make Transistional Relationships in Japan Stick??

Postby Thanatos' embalmed botfly » Wed Apr 01, 2020 3:30 pm

How do you cultivate real friendships in Japan?

J-dudes? You don't. I've been here 25 years and don't have a single Japanese dude friend. And that's just fine with me too. Wayyyyyy the fuck too much effort and hassle constantly having to be the one who seems to have to make some nervous petrified local feel relaxed. "Oh God, gaijin..." Hey shithead, you're not my Engrish student, we7re not at fucking WORK, you're not paying for this, I shouldnt have to put on a show.
What are some things I should not do that would deter from my expirence?

Put any faith whatsoever in anything a Japanese person says. Their version of the "truth" is akin to a child's and it will twist in the wind, instantly recalibrating and reconforming itself to whatever will benefit them in any particular instance.
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Re: How to Make Transistional Relationships in Japan Stick??

Postby jingai » Sun Apr 12, 2020 4:07 pm

I wouldn't be so negative as Thanatos.

I found people in college who were looking to connect with foreign people at the same time I was looking for a connection with Japan. We had similar interests, hit it off and 20 years later are still friends. The key is finding similar interests, going beyond just your foreignness. I joined a tennis circle at my college. Others join city/town groups like taiko or martial arts or some kind of Japanese art. Totally up to you as to what you are interested in. After moving back here I joined the board of a film festival and offered to translate things into English for free, so more intl. visitors would come. Be open, work on your Japanese skill and focus on those who you have the best connection with.

That said, now is not a good time to come to Japan. At the moment Tokyo is shutting down in part, with colleges doing remote classes, all events cancelled and the governor asking businesses to close. We'll see how things progress or devolve, but you might put off college a year.
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