Charlie Brooker in Japan

[Mulboyne]

Guardian: Green Kit Kats, toilets that lift the seat themselves, helpful strangers – Japan feels like another planet
I'm currently on another planet, namely Japan, which for the average westerner is an experience tantamount to recovering from a serious head injury, in that while the world around you is largely recognisable, it somehow makes little sense...Furthermore, just like someone struggling to reacquaint themselves with everyday life, you have to continually re-learn how to perform previously straightforward tasks such as going to the toilet...

...I'm here to write some travel pieces for this newspaper, which will appear later in the year. As a result I've been zipping all over the place. But every now and then when, the sheer sensory overload gets too much, I retire to the hotel room to stare at the television...Generally though, the TV here is surprisingly dull. The vast majority of programmes consist of several seriously overexcited people sitting in an overlit studio decorated like a novelty grotto made from regurgitated Dolly Mixture, endlessly babbling about food...

...But while onscreen Japan offers up old-fashioned fodder with an unhinged, frantic glee bordering on malevolence, the moment you step outside, the population itself seems incredibly calm...The cliche about the Japanese being unbelievably polite also holds true. At times they're so helpful it's almost a pain in the arse..if after several minutes of peering at maps, placing phone calls, and umming and ahhing and apologising, they still can't provide a detailed set of directions, they appear to take it as a personal blow. In London, you'd get a smile and a shrug. Here they almost run away in disgrace. You actually feel guilty having inflicted that level of shame on them[I]...more...

[omae mona]

I was going to complain this belongs in the "Another newbie reporter discovers Japan" thread. But on 2nd thought, I think we need to call it "Another newbie reporter discovers the articles by other newbie reporters that discovered Japan". This one has it all. Sadly, we will probably never know if the reporter Googled Japan or actually visited.

Toilets, crazy game shows, and very polite Japanese people. Is anything missing?

[Mulboyne]

I like Charlie Brooker but my heart sank when he went into the toilet schtick.

[omae mona]

Well, he does get big bonus points for style, so I forgive him a bit. If you are going to do the toilet schtick, this is the proper way to write about it:

The first toilet I encountered in Japan was so advanced it automatically lifted the seat itself the moment it sensed my approach, like it just couldn't wait for me to crap down its throat. It's disconcerting, defecating into a robot's mouth.

[matsuki]

feeeeeeeeeed meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

[plaid_knight]

Toilets, crazy game shows, and very polite Japanese people.

(checks off board) BINGO!