ENDLESS CHALLENGE™

[Taro Toporific]

endless-enrish-challenge.gif

Rakuten seems to have an ENDLESS engrish CHALLENGE™ with their "Englishnization" policy judging from their new MVNO campaign.

Englishnization..gif

Yoshiki.png

[yanpa]

They've been pulling out of various international markets recently, hopefully equipped with adequate tissue supplies for the cleanup.

Is that a dude or a chick in the picture/videos?

[wagyl]

More of a challenge is the concept of unlimited 5 minute calls. Hang on, I will just hang up and call you back, we are coming up for 5 minutes on this call.

I didn't recognise the celeb, and I should have, so I hope he came relatively cheap.

Surely I can't be the only one who sees these photos of people with phones, and is instantly reminded of the portraits taken in kindergarten with us holding a phone receiver to our ear, in an often vain attempt to get us to sit still!!!!!

[Taro Toporific]

...
..I didn't recognise the celeb, and I should have, so I hope he came relatively cheap...

The dude-looks-like-a-lady is Yoshiki of X Japan, a dinosaur speed metal band that's been around since 1982. Yoshiki came relatively expensive. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/X_Japan

[wuchan]

the company that said "we are going 100% English" while requiring N1 in all their job postings?

[kurogane]

Isn't "N1 Required" just job ad code for Must be Japanese or Better? I got that a while back and felt they were nonplussed at the temerity of my application.........for a Japanese to English translation job, btw.

Anyways, I had forgotten how much they like those straight fags. What a waste of homo. I do respect them for that, but fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk............................without even caring which leg he kicks with, of course

[legion]

...
..I didn't recognise the celeb, and I should have, so I hope he came relatively cheap...

The dude-looks-like-a-lady is Yoshiki of X Japan, a dinosaur speed metal band that's been around since 1982. Yoshiki came relatively expensive. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/X_Japan

C'mon, tell me this doesn't send a shiver down your spine

[Coligny]

...
..I didn't recognise the celeb, and I should have, so I hope he came relatively cheap...

The dude-looks-like-a-lady is Yoshiki of X Japan, a dinosaur speed metal band that's been around since 1982. Yoshiki came relatively expensive. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/X_Japan

C'mon, tell me this doesn't send a shiver down your spine

It's called "the brown note" I think...

[wuchan]

Isn't "N1 Required" just job ad code for Must be Japanese or Better? I got that a while back and felt they were nonplussed at the temerity of my application.........for a Japanese to English translation job, btw.

Anyways, I had forgotten how much they like those straight fags. What a waste of homo. I do respect them for that, but fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk............................without even caring which leg he kicks with, of course

I know a lot of folks that have N1 but that isn't the point. "we going english" means no jap, as in zero. Rakuten pulling out of small markets like singlish and where ever means that even a Harvard edumacation can't combat the borg......

[kurogane]

C'mon, tell me this doesn't send a shiver down your spine
INSERT VIDEO OF LADYBOYS PLAYIG BAD METAL

A shiver of horror, certainly, but I have always hated anything musically metallic. Then again, I really, really, really liked BuriGuri and YuraYura Teikoku and all those mid-90s Oasis ripoffs.............so WTF do I know?

I know a lot of folks that have N1 but that isn't the point. "we going english" means no jap, as in zero. Rakuten pulling out of small markets like singlish and where ever means that even a Harvard edumacation can't combat the borg......

No, no, it was a tangent, but I found it strange that people placing a job ad for a Japanese to English specific position would think that would favour a Japanese, which it wouldn't unless they were of the 0.03% that also speak actual native English. As for the rest of that, I don't get what you mean, but the idea that any company can simply institute a language policy and have employees that don't speak that language work effectively in the language they don't speak shows how buttfucking stupid Japanese (and Corporate Types in general) are about language and culture. I wonder if part of their recent problems aren't partly caused by the sudden and total collapse in intra-corporate communication that must have resulted.

Does Mr. Rakuten-san himself speak proper English?

[wagyl]

No, no, it was a tangent, but I found it strange that people placing a job ad for a Japanese to English specific position would think that would favour a Japanese, which it wouldn't unless they were of the 0.03% that also speak actual native English. As for the rest of that, I don't get what you mean, but the idea that any company can simply institute a language policy and have employees that don't speak that language work effectively in the language they don't speak shows how buttfucking stupid Japanese (and Corporate Types in general) are about language and culture. I wonder if part of their recent problems aren't partly caused by the sudden and total collapse in intra-corporate communication that must have resulted.

Does Mr. Rakuten-san himself speak proper English?

Running with the tangent, I am sure that you have had enough experience in the industry, Kuro, to know that there is still a vast pool of clients in Japan who believe that nobody except a Japanese is capable of understanding text in Japanese, therefore nobody except a Japanese can create a foreign language document from it. Those same clients also do not have the fluency to recognise what shit results in the target language from being written by a non-native.

An extended sample of Mr Mikitani's English conversation

Back on topic, I happened to see the commercial before this was posted here, and I am aware of X Japan when they were still active, and although not a screaming fan, I did watch the performances on TV. I did not, however, recognise the model in the commercial. Did anyone else, without external clues?

Even that ignores further questions as to what demographic they are targetting by using him. It seems like any old medachitagariya would have done. Was Sachiko Kobayashi too expensive, or will she be in the second series?

[Takechanpoo]

there is a big gap what japanese express between when they speak and when they write. when japanese speak, their way of speaking shows high dependency on context, as you do know. its because otherwise they are disliked by the others in this high-significance on harmony society. but when they write, they are not like that. so if you want to know what j-intelligence is really like, you need to read the books and articles they wrote. but unfortunately its pretty way rare who can read and understand that level of japanese among non-japanese.

[matsuki]

No wonder they're failing...Rakuten's grobaru maaketto Engrish in practice:

http://global.rakuten.com/en/store/mzt/ ... nd_item_en

Product name
Tasting notes - Lagoon blue la VAG blue sparkling clarity. Join hearty fruit flavors are good grapefruit's bitterness and balance of acid, and meet the drink even while refreshing taste.
Types of wine - Sweet ☆ ☆ ☆ ★ ☆ hot
Varieties - 100% Sauvignon Blanc
Fit food - An aperitif
Drink temperature - 6 degrees or less
Designation of origin - Boissons ephervesant alcholize Byrds de van
Capacity, alcohol content 750 ml 11.34 times

[Coligny]

there is a big gap what japanese express between when they speak and when they write. when japanese speak, their way of speaking shows high dependency on context, as you do know. its because otherwise they are disliked by the others in this high-significance on harmony society. but when they write, they are not like that. so if you want to know what j-intelligence is really like, you need to read the books and articles they wrote. but unfortunately its pretty way rare who can read and understand that level of japanese among non-japanese.

Polishing a turd are we ?

[wagyl]

No wonder they're failing...Rakuten's grobaru maaketto Engrish in practice:

http://global.rakuten.com/en/store/mzt/ ... nd_item_en

You realise that is a Rakuten customer preparing that and posting it as a shop in the Rakuten market, not something from Rakuten itself.

It is just a sign that the translation robots have not won the battle.

By the way, judging from presentation alone, that looks like a very crappy wine, with next day headaches guaranteed. It may be limited in sales to wine-illiterate markets, since most Google gives me is holiday villas in Nice and St Barts in non-Japan hits (although Google may be tailoring results for what it thinks I am looking for... Because I obviously have no idea, and they know everything).

[matsuki]

No wonder they're failing...Rakuten's grobaru maaketto Engrish in practice:

http://global.rakuten.com/en/store/mzt/ ... nd_item_en

You realise that is a Rakuten customer preparing that and posting it as a shop in the Rakuten market, not something from Rakuten itself.

It is just a sign that the translation robots have not won the battle.

Can we be sure that's the case? It indeed looks like translation robot garble...but from what I've seen from Rakuten services, they often offer to hold your hand and set shit up for you....for a price. (though yes, it looks like copy and paste google translate to me) No matter who wrote it, I somehow don't think they are taking on the international market as planned...

By the way, judging from presentation alone, that looks like a very crappy wine, with next day headaches guaranteed. It may be limited in sales to wine-illiterate markets, since most Google gives me is holiday villas in Nice and St Barts in non-Japan hits (although Google may be tailoring results for what it thinks I am looking for... Because I obviously have no idea, and they know everything).

I came across it covering a wall in a crepe shop in roppongi hills and looked it up while waiting.



Makes sense though....seeing it in a creperie that used the same sweet crepes for both dessert and savory crepes. It was like eating a salad with sugar frosting

[wagyl]

If you are going to crâp shoppes in Roppongi Hills you get what you deserve.

... although sweet salad is something I used to come across a fair bit in California.

We grow nice walnuts, but we couldn't possibly let you eat any unless we cover them in caramel first.

[matsuki]

Wasn't my choice but apparently her sweet crepe was oishii.

I'm all for a candied walnut, berry, cheese and vinaigrette salad. Tasty but the sweetness is balanced by the cheese and dressing...



...a namahamu Caesar salad wrapped in a sugary pancake....not so much.