Any Person Who Can Follow Basic Instructions

[Marked Trail]

Via today's tokyocraigslist

Any Person Who Can Follow Basic Instructions
Reply to: workingforaliving2007@yahoo.com
Date: 2007-02-07, 10:24AM JST


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Summary:
Growing, Tokyo based company preparing for expansion, seeks naive, easily influenced, and socially inept warm body (human) to do exactly what they're told during business hours. No experience in anything useful is required; actually prefer no experience.

Position Title:
Employee, Staff, Account Executive, VP, Temp, God. It really doesn't matter to us what you want to call yourself outside the office. In the office you will be referred to as "Not Again".

Responsibilities:
Until you prove you satisfy the description in the above Summary, you will have NO responsibilities. We're not interested in you thinking for yourself until you prove you have that capability. We don't want to be sued for providing a "dangerous workplace".

Compensation:
If you're desperate enough to apply to this, you have absolute no negotiating position, so zip it and take a seat in the broom closet....your office.

Reason Position is Open:
Everyone we have hired has suffered from psychotic logic. For example, if you're shown a photo of a "Dog walking along a tree lined street in Autumn", we want you to produce a picture with "A DOG WALKING ALONG A TREE LINED STREET IN AUTUMN". We do NOT, and let me repeat, DO NOT want, a red corvette sitting in front of a convenience store with a cat sitting at the wheel in Winter. If you need an explanation of what's wrong with this, click you heels twice, turn left and keep walking until you see a blue Oni.

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* Location: Tokyo
* Compensation: See job description for details
* This is a part-time job.
* This is a contract job.
* Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
* Please, no phone calls about this job!
* Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.


PostingID: 2745 82863

[Iraira]

If I'm underqualified for this, man...shoot me, please!

[TFG]

Mmmm!
But, global warming has changed everything in the picture.

Do, I really have to paint them yellow and red?