Moving to Japan, sell house or not?

[IparryU]

In response the house is in Canada - and thank you for the good points - I dont want to use a property management company, but my J-W's health is the major reason we're making the move. Maybe I can find one of my deadbeat friends to look after the place...

Dude, don't do it. You'll be fucked and any career you have will be over unless maybe you're a fully bilingual Japanese Canadian with a hard to find technical skill and previous experience working in Japan (and don't mean as an English teacher).

If you have a kid/kids, DO NOT LET YOUR WIFE TAKE THEM TO JAPAN. YOU MAY NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN.

Yosh... did you ever take a look at the Child Abduction thread we have?... you should dude...

[Coligny]

In response the house is in Canada - and thank you for the good points - I dont want to use a property management company, but my J-W's health is the major reason we're making the move. Maybe I can find one of my deadbeat friends to look after the place...

Dude, don't do it. You'll be fucked and any career you have will be over unless maybe you're a fully bilingual Japanese Canadian with a hard to find technical skill and previous experience working in Japan (and don't mean as an English teacher).

If you have a kid/kids, DO NOT LET YOUR WIFE TAKE THEM TO JAPAN. YOU MAY NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN.

Advice from captain obvious, try to find a canadian company that need your skills as an expat in japan.
Before places were hard to find...

Since Fukushima... i think it changed a lot. I saw that at the french consulate... in 2009 it was filled with king of the world poseur. Went last month, the guy had a bug out bag under his desk and told me he'd take any assignement in europe instead of this...

[Screwed-down Hairdo]

Advice from captain obvious, try to find a canadian company that need your skills as an expat in japan.
Before places were hard to find...

Since Fukushima... i think it changed a lot. I saw that at the french consulate... in 2009 it was filled with king of the world poseur. Went last month, the guy had a bug out bag under his desk and told me he'd take any assignement in europe instead of this...

You have got to be kidding?
There's fuck-all here.
Heard a few finance guys (including a CEO) chatting the other day. They said they expect 30-40% shrinkage in the workforce over the next year. Don't know the breakdown, or whether they were only talking expat (they're all on expat packages), or what, so I don't know the accuracy, though those figures have to be excessive. (Until you think of Spain and other European spazeconomies...)
I "deigned" to start applying for teaching jobs, thinking they were the pits and that I would "deign" to work for them once I found my feet.
I can't even get an interview, despite groveling and humbling myself...(I am, I should qualify, fucking old. I'm also socially disgraced and a substance abuser. But, I am less than two months from being a doctor and have worked in management in blue riband companies in this cuntry, so I have no problems in dealing with the unique language, the unique culture and the unique four seasons. What's more, I qualify as a disabled hire <and it's mental so I don't have the added costs of a physical disability> so it's good for companies to take me on and look socially responsible. Even then, I'm still effectively jobless....)

Or, maybe it really is just me?

[Coligny]

More clueless than kidding...

[matsuki]

Dear ignoramus, French ALWAYS complain, that's how you spot them (*).

Better chance with the dogshit for mine...Poms whine incessantly, too.

That's pretty rich coming from an Aussie.

You can't say that to me...you're an American!

[Yosh]

The OP's wife is J? Don't bring her back here. Stay there. She'll be happier.

as much as i hate your dumb ass... i agree.

but i would like to add that the OP's mental state would be much worse here should she convert back to being a Jap. 2 of my friends got divorced after coming to japan with their wife... they are free outside of japan but when they get back, they change so much to "fit back in" with their fellow japs.

key thing to note, where is your wife planning to return to? If not Tokyo, I would seriously reconsider.

Kids?

Yes, Tokyo, Yes, one kid

[Yosh]

In response the house is in Canada - and thank you for the good points - I dont want to use a property management company, but my J-W's health is the major reason we're making the move. Maybe I can find one of my deadbeat friends to look after the place...

Dude, don't do it. You'll be fucked and any career you have will be over unless maybe you're a fully bilingual Japanese Canadian with a hard to find technical skill and previous experience working in Japan (and don't mean as an English teacher).

If you have a kid/kids, DO NOT LET YOUR WIFE TAKE THEM TO JAPAN. YOU MAY NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN.

My Japanese is mediocre - I need another year of study - I have skills in the animation and entertainment business - so theres a chance I can have my soul crushed at some studio in Tokyo, or teach English until I commit suicide - kidding - I think - - yeah yeah I'm not ignoring the points about the marriage falling apart and the million horror stories of wife running away with kid... if it's of any relevance, wifey vehemently wants the baby to go to high school in Canada, and for the moment is set on a 10 year stay. Who knows how things will change. Like I said before, if I do this I have to dive in with 100% comittment and positivity. gotta learn that fucking language, gotta get my social net set up and quick, join the local hockey team and pound the natives for stress relief, get my drivers liscense all over again etc, etc...

The root of the issue is this, and single guys won't be able to relate to this; my daughter deserves to grow up with her mother and father both happy and healthy. If wife stays here she'll self destruct from stress, and it's not just culture shock we've had a nightmare couple of years, I won't get into it. I like to think I've got a fairly resiliant nature, and I've got nothing against Japan - I'm well read on FG and have a fair idea of how to play nice with the natives. I don't think it will be easy, but in another way it'll be a funky adventure, anyways I must be with my daughter and do what I can for my wifes mental health - if the situation falls to shit in a few years you can add me to the statistics.

[matsuki]

join the local hockey team and pound the natives for stress relief

You'd be surprised how well this works but many of them take getting destroyed, no matter how clean the check was, like a slap to the face and come back at you (gloves on) swingin'

The root of the issue is this, and single guys won't be able to relate to this; my daughter deserves to grow up with her mother and father both happy and healthy. If wife stays here she'll self destruct from stress, and it's not just culture shock we've had a nightmare couple of years, I won't get into it. I like to think I've got a fairly resiliant nature, and I've got nothing against Japan - I'm well read on FG and have a fair idea of how to play nice with the natives. I don't think it will be easy, but in another way it'll be a funky adventure, anyways I must be with my daughter and do what I can for my wifes mental health - if the situation falls to shit in a few years you can add me to the statistics.

Well, you can't force her to stay there and if she's set on Japan, guess you'll have to give it a try. How old is your daughter? I assume she speaks Canuckistani? Whatever you do, make sure your shit is handled in Canuckistan and you have a job landed BEFORE you make the move. It's gonna be crazy no matter what you do, but the smoother you make it, the better.

[Screwed-down Hairdo]

Your naivety is cruel to your daughter.

But, your desire to help her mum is admirable. Teach Engrish and I hope you all do well.
Forget anime for the time being....only like about 5 million young Japanese want to get into the business and they have much better language skills than you'll ever have and are probably not as far removed from being in a peasant family as you are, so will more likely adapt to the requirements of the job. Unless, of course, you can find suckers overseas, but I think those days may be long gone, too...

Good luck and I hope your missus improves...but being married to a whacked out Japanese woman in Japan does not normally bode well for marital/familial discord.

[Yosh]

What's my other option? Get divorced and seperate the kid from me or her mother before shes even in grade school? Fuck, I know I'm fucked, I'm more fucked than most of you fuckers are fucked, and that's a shitload of fuck I can tell you.

[Screwed-down Hairdo]

What's my other option? Get divorced and seperate the kid from me or her mother before shes even in grade school? Fuck, I know I'm fucked, I'm more fucked than most of you fuckers are fucked, and that's a shitload of fuck I can tell you.

Well, fuck...you aint got fuck to lose then. Fuck it, throw all caution to the wind and at least thank your lucky stars that it's not as cold as Canada.

[Screwed-down Hairdo]

Yosh, I've just seen this vid about life in the West nowadays....I reckon you'd better get over here. YOLO!

[cstaylor]

More clueless than kidding...

That should be your new signature...

[cstaylor]

Get divorced and seperate the kid from me or her mother before shes even in grade school?

Sounds like it could be now or later. At least you still have a home in Canada at the moment.

Why not let her go home with your child for New Year's and see if she returns?

[McTojo]

In response the house is in Canada - and thank you for the good points - I dont want to use a property management company, but my J-W's health is the major reason we're making the move. Maybe I can find one of my deadbeat friends to look after the place...

Dude, don't do it. You'll be fucked and any career you have will be over unless maybe you're a fully bilingual Japanese Canadian with a hard to find technical skill and previous experience working in Japan (and don't mean as an English teacher).

If you have a kid/kids, DO NOT LET YOUR WIFE TAKE THEM TO JAPAN. YOU MAY NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN.

Japanese is mediocre - I need another year of study - I have skills in the animation and entertainment business - so theres a chance I can have my soul crushed at some studio in Tokyo, or teach English until I commit suicide - kidding - I think - - yeah yeah I'm not ignoring the points about the marriage falling apart and the million horror stories of wife running away with kid... if it's of any relevance, wifey vehemently wants the baby to go to high school in Canada, and for the moment is set on a 10 year stay. Who knows how things will change. Like I said before, if I do this I have to dive in with 100% comittment and positivity. gotta learn that fucking language, gotta get my social net set up and quick, join the local hockey team and pound the natives for stress relief, get my drivers liscense all over again etc, etc...

The root of the issue is this, and single guys won't be able to relate to this; my daughter deserves to grow up with her mother and father both happy and healthy. If wife stays here she'll self destruct from stress, and it's not just culture shock we've had a nightmare couple of years, I won't get into it. I like to think I've got a fairly resiliant nature, and I've got nothing against Japan - I'm well read on FG and have a fair idea of how to play nice with the natives. I don't think it will be easy, but in another way it'll be a funky adventure, anyways I must be with my daughter and do what I can for my wifes mental health - if the situation falls to shit in a few years you can add me to the statistics.

You have skillzzz bra....? Can you rap, too!? They will laugh you out of their board room meetings. You will become an Eikaiwa whore just like the rest of us. Wifey will change. After 10 years she'll be in her thirties I presume? Even if she decides that she's had enough of life in her native country - that's if she doesn't have a F&king melt down before that time, because she's already tainted by Western culture - and returns back to the West she will grow even more distant from you, that's if you two are still together after ten years.


Your daughter deserves a better education, and better opportunities, all of which cannot be acquired here. I had a male student in my class today. He told me he forgot where he was born! I told him to get out of my classroom and never come back again. This guy thinks that learning English is more important than understanding his own F%king origins. Your daughter has no place in this spiraling out of control society.

[cstaylor]

I am not your hobby...

[legion]

In response the house is in Canada - and thank you for the good points - I dont want to use a property management company, but my J-W's health is the major reason we're making the move. Maybe I can find one of my deadbeat friends to look after the place...

J-W's ?

Please, she is your wife, do her the courtesy of typing those few extra letters "my wife, who is Japanese". The fact you don't suggests that you are either a troll, or that your wife will divorce you before she has removed the baggage tags from her luggage.

Sell your house and be left with nothing.

Why do we place such importance on nationality when it is mere notionality.

[BigInJapan]

My Japanese is mediocre - I need another year of study - I have skills in the animation and entertainment business - so theres a chance I can have my soul crushed at some studio in Tokyo, or teach English until I commit suicide - kidding

Get yourself enrolled into a Japanese course of some description if you have some time prior to the move. (Trying to learn a language from your spouse is usually a recipe for disaster.)
And as SDH mentioned, finding animation related work is pretty much a no go. I worked at a game software company for 10 years, and of the foreigners I met in games and animation related jobs, they were all well-known and/or highly qualified in their fields before coming to Japan. There is virtually no way you will find a job in those fields without a stellar portfolio.
I don't know if anyone else has mentioned it, but, avoid living with the in-laws. Good luck.

[Russell]

If your plan is to live in Japan for 10 years and then return, forget it. You have then likely passed the point-of-no-return already. Unless you land a good job in Japan, your resume will not become better in those 10 years.

How about finding some Japanese community near where you live, and make your wife acquaint herself with them? Alternatively, would it help her if she returns once or twice a year to Japan?

Are you sure she does not want to return to Japan to care for her parents?

[Yosh]

If your plan is to live in Japan for 10 years and then return, forget it. You have then likely passed the point-of-no-return already. Unless you land a good job in Japan, your resume will not become better in those 10 years.

How about finding some Japanese community near where you live, and make your wife acquaint herself with them? Alternatively, would it help her if she returns once or twice a year to Japan?

Are you sure she does not want to return to Japan to care for her parents?

She does, she will. I live in a city with virtually no Japanese community. In the 6 years she's lived here our house has become the mecca of Japanese travellers.

In response to some dickhead a few posts earlier we'll be in our forties in ten years time - and to the crusading grammar policeman you can go eat a ham sandiwich.

[Samurai_Jerk]

Yosh,

Here's the thing. Moving back to Japan will not fix your wife's mental health issue and may make them worse. In the meantime your career will be destroyed and you'll end up a miserable SOB. I've never met a guy who has done what your planning to do and ended up in a good situation.

By the way, everyone is right about anime work and even if you could get it the pay is actually worse than teaching English which is saying a lot.

[Yosh]

far be it from me to shy away from good advice.

I agree with you, and I want to thank everyone whose posted for sharing their experience. The job - not too worried, I can keep mine and work from a home studio.

I think you're right and that moving to Japan will most definitely make things worse...

[IparryU]

far be it from me to shy away from good advice.

I agree with you, and I want to thank everyone whose posted for sharing their experience. The job - not too worried, I can keep mine and work from a home studio.

I think you're right and that moving to Japan will most definitely make things worse...

You would be in a good position if you could work from home with your current job. but I hold my statement about your wife working... seriously.

As long as you know what to expect, it wont be much of a surprise, but keep in mind that it will still suck ass.

Best of luck and let us know when you get here.

[matsuki]

Yosh, how long has she been living in Canada? What age did she move there? The answers to those two questions might help us understand the situation more. Seems like everyone is assuming she'll reboot to standard "We Japanese" programming once she's back in Japan (and that is usually the case) but the younger they were when they moved abroad, and the length of time can put one in the situation of returning to a Japan that is familiar but not the Japan they know. No longer feeling Japanese but not Canadian either...you might have to go out of your way to find some local friends who also lived overseas so she has people who can actually relate to her. The other possibility is if she's been Canuckified enough, she may find life in Japan difficult, boring, and will eventually want to GTFO. (they key being not standing behind her to point all the retarded things out her...let her discover them and point them out for you to agree with her)