The moment I truly knew I was home...

[Tommybar]

I realized I was home when:

I received quality food instead quantity.
I understood what everybody was saying.
I could get a taxi with in minutes.
The signs were written in the two languages I DO speak.
People were looking at me instead of my wife.
I pay the price that is on the package nothing is added at the register.
Cops stop asking 'Where did you learn to drive, Japan?'
It takes 3 hours to drive 80 kilometers.
Able to have a one night stand and still be social with the person the next day.
The women want to know what they can do for me, not what I can do for them.
P.C. means Personal Computer.
Double standards are the norm and I am able to use them to my benefit.

God it's great to be home in Kanagawa...at least here I only feel like a gaijin on the outside and not on the inside.
Just because I'm white skinned and blue eyed does not mean Japan is not my home.

[n2a2n2o2]

im from bolivia so..i realized that when i was home i would pay 200 yen for a fantastic chinese meal that would satisfy they hunger of two couch potatoes hurling furniture in new york. then as i would walk down the streets i could purchase any pirate cd for about 100 yen, buy a dime of ahem for like 100yen too. the food tastes like food in bolivia, a kilo of meat for like 300yen (i know if i go to china i could get the same deal, so says a chinese girl), fruits arent all the same size, different colors, different tastes, hoping that the bite you get isnt the same as the one before, and paying AT THE most 1000 yen club fee that includes 3 beers or 2 redbulls. Beer for 100 yen too, cheap, great, anyway..except all the shit laying around, the trash, the poor people, watching them live their lives and realizing how fortunate i am to live in Japan and the people around me are satisfied with thier life running along doing their errands and yet the cant imagine the same aspirations (nor do they even care what is outside of bolivia!!!!, sucks they dont have the chance) as i do to know the world or they dont even bother.it depress me a TAD and pisses me off at the same time, thats why I love it here....im free!! except for the heavy bills which i pay once every three months that keep me off the streets, damn bills!!!!

[Adhesive]

Things that first strike me when returning to California (from leaving the airport to arriving at my destination):

Vast open freeways; five lanes of 85mph uninterrupted bliss.

Vast open land, especially leaving SFO and driving through the valley.

The random architecture. This is really something I notice after returning from more European-like countries. Everything looks cheap and portable, and a lot of it was thrown up in the 50's and 60's and has that ugly "mod" look (read; cheap to construct). Then there will be places that are more southwest, Spanish-missionary style, that is actually pretty...it's just really haphazard. There's no rhyme or reason.

Everybody is fat, dressed like they just left from a backyard BBQ, and act as if they are proud of the fact.

Fast-food owns the U.S. It's cheap, convenient, and slowly killing all of us. Any variety between the food is an illusion, it's the same processed crap molded into different shapes and treated with different artificial colorings and flavors. It's atrocious.

People care whether or not I'm hot or cold. In Japan, asking someone to turn on the AC or heater is like asking them to co-sign your mortgage. In the U.S., it seems like every time I get into a car or enter a house my hosts are asking me if the temperature is comfortable.

My gigantic castle I call home, with bathrooms larger than many Tokyoites' dormitories, and a firm elevated bed fit for a king.

[Yosh]

That's funny- I love this thread

[Kagetsu]

I know I'm home when:
1. I can find clothing in my size
2. I'm treated like shit from the service staff at stores and public places
3. I fit in and people ignore me.

[Coligny]

Getting greeted by two cats who don't puur the same language between them, one of them having to be given orders in german while conversation have to be in polite english the other one barely able to understand 3 words in japanese but who won't try to kill you in your sleep.

[nottu]

[GomiGirl]

And they expect a tip.

I totally do NOT get the whole tipping thing.

Last month I in the US on holiday and people basically had their hands out before they would lift a finger even if it was their job. Sure it was Las Vegas but still I was totally taken aback.

It felt like everybody in the service industry was at worst a beggar, at best mercenary. Doesn't anybody take pride in their jobs or are wages so bad that they have to resort to "begging" to pay their rent.

Nobody wants to talk about what the "rules" actually are, but there are plenty of signs saying "gratuity not included in fare". If you get it wrong you either get smug smile like, "I scammed her" or a dirty look like, "she is a cheapskate". Too much pressure either way.

(Sorry to hijack the thread)

[American Oyaji]

I totally do NOT get the whole tipping thing.

Last month I in the US on holiday and people basically had their hands out before they would lift a finger even if it was their job. Sure it was Las Vegas but still I was totally taken aback.

It felt like everybody in the service industry was at worst a beggar, at best mercenary. Doesn't anybody take pride in their jobs or are wages so bad that they have to resort to "begging" to pay their rent.

Nobody wants to talk about what the "rules" actually are, but there are plenty of signs saying "gratuity not included in fare". If you get it wrong you either get smug smile like, "I scammed her" or a dirty look like, "she is a cheapskate". Too much pressure either way.

(Sorry to hijack the thread)

I tip if I get good service or I think they need it.

I once tipped a server who was working so damn hard, I was impressed by her efficiency and dedication to her job. Thing was, she wasn't MY server.
Compared to her, my server sucked balls...badly. I went up to the chick and tipped HER $10 in front of my server who got ZERO!

Then again, level of service sometimes is determined by what they THINK your social rank or status is. I was at a restaurant and the staff was really lackadaisacal (sp?) until I pulled out my corporate AMEX. Then suddenly they were smiling and providing great service bringing me my water at the end of my meal.

[Samurai_Jerk]

are wages so bad that they have to resort to "begging" to pay their rent

Yes.

Personally, I think the service in mid range and above restaurants in the US is generally better than Japan. They keep your water glass filled, you don't have to yell to get your server's attention, and everyone gets their meal at about the same time.

In Japan you get good service at mom and pop places where the person serving you is also the owner. At chain restaurants it's absolutely shit.

[Samurai_Jerk]

I tip

Wait a minute. I thought you were a brother!?

[American Oyaji]

[quote="Samurai_Jerk"]Wait a minute. I thought you were a brother!? ]

HaHa very funny muthafucka!

[Screwed-down Hairdo]

How do I know when I'm home? Constant fucking nagging and bleating kids.

[Yokohammer]

How do I know when I'm home? Constant fucking nagging and bleating kids.

You didn't leave out a comma or two there, did you? As in:
"Constant fucking, nagging, and bleating kids"?

Didn't think so ...

[Samurai_Jerk]

How do I know when I'm home? Constant fucking nagging and bleating kids.

Best answer yet.

[Ikemen-of-d00m]

Before I start: I am from Norway

1. People are not overly polite.
In Japan I eventually got used to this politeness, but I never thought I was going to miss it!

2. People are noisy as hell!
Taking the bus(for instance) is suddendly a horrible experience. The bus is filled with rude teenagers who think they own the vehicle. A couple of weeks ago, a douche even brought a fucking BOOMBLASTER with him, filling the bus with crappy music which sounded like chipmunks on speed... I nearly jumped out of the bus, in self defense...

3. Public transportation can no longer be trusted. Period.

4. Alcohol
* It is at least twice as expensive, if not more. In fact, if you wanna party, you have to start the party at someone's house, before going out. It has become a norm. Even though we are the wealthiest people in the world, most of us can't afford to get drunk on the town, so we get drunk before we go out..

* If the store closes at 10 pm, you must buy beer before 8 pm. And the only types of alcohol you can get in stores are: beer, cider and this sissy thing which is basically soda with a little alcohol in it. If you want something else, you have to go to a shop called "The Wine Monopoly", which is closed in the evening. Every town has like one of these stores. The bigger cities may have more..

* If you are on a bar or a club, you will not be served alchol after 2 am.

Ok, I know the government has made these rules because the people of my country can't drink without starting a civil war. Still, the sense of "freedom" dissappears...

[Screwed-down Hairdo]

Before I start: I am from Norway

1. People are not overly polite.
In Japan I eventually got used to this politeness, but I never thought I was going to miss it!

2. People are noisy as hell!
Taking the bus(for instance) is suddendly a horrible experience. The bus is filled with rude teenagers who think they own the vehicle. A couple of weeks ago, a douche even brought a fucking BOOMBLASTER with him, filling the bus with crappy music which sounded like chipmunks on speed... I nearly jumped out of the bus, in self defense...

3. Public transportation can no longer be trusted. Period.

4. Alcohol
* It is at least twice as expensive, if not more. In fact, if you wanna party, you have to start the party at someone's house, before going out. It has become a norm. Even though we are the wealthiest people in the world, most of us can't afford to get drunk on the town, so we get drunk before we go out..

* If the store closes at 10 pm, you must buy beer before 8 pm. And the only types of alcohol you can get in stores are: beer, cider and this sissy thing which is basically soda with a little alcohol in it. If you want something else, you have to go to a shop called "The Wine Monopoly", which is closed in the evening. Every town has like one of these stores. The bigger cities may have more..

* If you are on a bar or a club, you will not be served alchol after 2 am.

Ok, I know the government has made these rules because the people of my country can't drink without starting a civil war. Still, the sense of "freedom" dissappears...

Quisling!

[Samurai_Jerk]

4. Alcohol
* It is at least twice as expensive, if not more. In fact, if you wanna party, you have to start the party at someone's house, before going out. It has become a norm. Even though we are the wealthiest people in the world, most of us can't afford to get drunk on the town, so we get drunk before we go out..

* If the store closes at 10 pm, you must buy beer before 8 pm. And the only types of alcohol you can get in stores are: beer, cider and this sissy thing which is basically soda with a little alcohol in it. If you want something else, you have to go to a shop called "The Wine Monopoly", which is closed in the evening. Every town has like one of these stores. The bigger cities may have more..

* If you are on a bar or a club, you will not be served alchol after 2 am.

Ok, I know the government has made these rules because the people of my country can't drink without starting a civil war. Still, the sense of "freedom" dissappears...

A lot of US states have similar laws but at least beer is cheap as shit and the state-run liquor monopolies are open in the evening.

[Ikemen-of-d00m]

Quisling!

NEIN! Uhm, I mean NO!

A lot of US states have similar laws but at least beer is cheap as shit and the state-run liquor monopolies are open in the evening.

That sure helps a lot :P

[Coligny]

NEIN! Uhm, I mean NO!

aww sh1t... the Krauts are coming again...

I'm out to stock on some noodles...

[Greji]

HaHa very funny muthafucka!

Wow, I didn't know that AO. Does that mean you can dance and carry a razor (sorry, but my sources in Misawa area tell me you did not qualify for the big dick stereotype..)

[American Oyaji]

Wow, I didn't know that AO. Does that mean you can dance and carry a razor (sorry, but my sources in Misawa area tell me you did not qualify for the big dick stereotype..)

You were talking to the wrong bracket of quality. Try talking to some mamasans.

[SpikeX]

I was riding my bike down the street and this white trash douche drives by and goes "hey faggot nice bike"

that's when I knew, I'm back in America....

[Screwed-down Hairdo]

Wow, I didn't know that AO. Does that mean you can dance and carry a razor (sorry, but my sources in Misawa area tell me you did not qualify for the big dick stereotype..)

Don't all bruthas have monster cocks?
Sorry, I have always held AO over everyone because I thought his prong was double my size.
Say it aint so AO.

[Samurai_Jerk]

Don't all bruthas have monster cocks?
Sorry, I have always held AO over everyone because I thought his prong was double my size.

Just under the Japanese average does not a monster cock make.

[Screwed-down Hairdo]

Just under the Japanese average does not a monster cock make.

Crickey...under the Japanese average goes from cock to clit....
BTW, I still wanna bone your mom-in-law (who wants to be boned by me...)

[Samurai_Jerk]

BTW, I still wanna bone your mom-in-law (who wants to be boned by me...)

The first time I met her she told me the bigger the better then demonstrated by performing fellatio on a an upside down soy sauce bottle. Do you think you can deliver?

[Screwed-down Hairdo]

The first time I met her she told me the bigger the better then demonstrated by performing fellatio on a an upside down soy sauce bottle. Do you think you can deliver?

No problem...I've got a shitload of soy sauce bottles here at home...

[Ketou]

No problem...I've got a shitload of soy sauce bottles here at home...

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Screwed-down Hairdo again.

[Greji]

The first time I met her she told me the bigger the better then demonstrated by performing fellatio on a an upside down soy sauce bottle. Do you think you can deliver?

Noriko can deep throat a fire hydrant.
Why do Ya'all fool around with those amateurs?