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  • fuckedgaijin ‹ General ‹ Gaijin Ghetto ‹ Leaving Japan

At what point?

Reverse-culture shock, readjustment and other issues of repatriation for gaijin going home.
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60 posts • Page 1 of 2 • 1, 2

At what point?

Postby JLR » Fri Dec 02, 2011 12:47 am

At what point did you say I am staying in Japan long term or say fuck it I am leaving? I ask this as I am nearing the end of year #2 here in Japan (teach at an international school). Was offered another 2 year contract but I don't think another 2 years will make me want to stay long term (I could be wrong) and I also fear I will get into the trap of hey whats 2 more years and re-sign again and again.

I don't hate Japan but I don't love it either. Probably does not help that I am not attracted to Asian women. :confused: (not opposed to fucking them though).

I have options as I can teach (have teaching credential and degree in Education) at many other international schools around the world so it's not like I am stuck going back "home" with no options.

Leaning towards moving on in life and finding a nice school somewhere in Europe but wonder if I am giving life here a fair chance. By that I mean the first year was me trying to settle in and get adjusted to life here.

So what made you stay here in Japan or what made you get the hell out? Oh and how long did it take for you to realize it?

Much thanks in advance.
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Postby matsuki » Fri Dec 02, 2011 10:57 am

JLR wrote:I don't hate Japan but I don't love it either. Probably does not help that I am not attracted to Asian women. :confused: (not opposed to fucking them though).


Lots of love/hate angles about Japan but if I was as indifferent as you are about it and the local lemurs, I'd be out of here faster than Greji can down a pint.
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Postby Yokohammer » Fri Dec 02, 2011 11:06 am

1) The longer you stay (anywhere) the harder it is to leave.
2) If you see a better future elsewhere and have nothing to lose, go for it asap.

Sounds like it'd be better to relegate Japan to fond memory, before you get bogged down.
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Postby Samurai_Jerk » Fri Dec 02, 2011 11:34 am

I don't know how much it would hurt your career since I'm don't know anything about the international school scene but just because you sign a two year contract doesn't mean you have to stay two years. You aren't a slave. You could do one more year and leave if you wanted.

If you can get a job somewhere you like more though than why no go? The only reason I could maybe see for staying is if you have, for example, a lot of student debt in say US dollars and the high value of the yen is letting you pay that debt off more quickly.

I'm kind of with you on Japanese women. I wouldn't say I'm not attracted to them but I don't know what the big deal is. Being an ass man doesn't help either.
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Postby GomiGirl » Fri Dec 02, 2011 12:15 pm

International school teaching is awesome if you want it to be. There are some wicked job fairs where you can go and take your pick of countries for your next adventure. Think of it as a free ticket to travel. Awesome if you are still single and are interested in living abroad.

International school teachers salaries are great* and the schools are usually private, well organised with good kids who are willing to learn. Beats teaching in a failing government system back home with poor wages, poor conditions and kids who don't give a shit.

My mother did this teaching for ages here in Japan. Then in her early 60's she was doing a heap of relief teaching - ie coming in when there was a teacher on maternity leave or who had to quit suddenly. She had become disillusioned with teaching in the state system back at home, she loves travel and is quite adventurous. She was semi retired and my Dad retired, so they could take off at the drop of a hat to whereever they felt like it. They have lived in Asia, eastern Europe etc. Plus spent a heap of time here in Japan hanging out with my family and my brother's family (ie spending time with the grandkids) so she was happy as anything. She has retired now that she has turned 65 and her last gig was here in Japan where she earned great money and conditions, had great students and fellow teachers and has really finished off her career on a high note. Plus she was able to hang out with me and my small baby. Who wouldn't want that?

So, back to your question. If you haven't decided where next you would like to go, just hang out here shag yourself silly while you can earn the big bucks, pay off your loans, invest in some property or shares and get your life in order while you travel the world. That is if you are enjoying the teaching side of it still.

So while you are doing that, look into some job fairs and put yourself out there.



*Great salaries compared to English Teachers, company owners and free lancer software engineers but not huge if compared to bankers salaries who earn stupid money IMHO.
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Postby JLR » Fri Dec 02, 2011 4:39 pm

I don't know how much it would hurt your career since I'm don't know anything about the international school scene but just because you sign a two year contract doesn't mean you have to stay two years. You aren't a slave. You could do one more year and leave if you wanted.


It would make getting a new job a little more difficult IMO. Would hate to burn a bridge. I know it's a red flag on my resume if it shows I left early/broke contract. I assume the English teaching jobs are much different?


I'm kind of with you on Japanese women. I wouldn't say I'm not attracted to them but I don't know what the big deal is. Being an ass man doesn't help either.


Not sure what the big deal is either (breast man) but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. All I know it is is BAD sign when I have to drink quite a few beers and then start saying yea she is kinda cute. :(


International school teachers salaries are great* and the schools are usually private, well organised with good kids who are willing to learn. Beats teaching in a failing government system back home with poor wages, poor conditions and kids who don't give a shit.


Yup! That's why I left the USA after 2 years teaching in a poor, inner city district where the parents and students did not give a shit and my job was tied to the state test scores (thanks No Child Left Behind and President Bush! :devil2: ). My school here the students are polite and the parents don't make excuses for their kids.

So, back to your question. If you haven't decided where next you would like to go, just hang out here shag yourself silly while you can earn the big bucks, pay off your loans, invest in some property or shares and get your life in order while you travel the world. That is if you are enjoying the teaching side of it still.


I truly enjoy teaching. How can I invest in land here? I am sure I could get some land in Fukishima cheap! :glow2:

As I said I feel weird as I see that most gaijin either LOVE it here or hate it with a passion. I don't like the food or women here but I like the cleanness and convenience. Everything else I don't have a strong opinion either way.

So I am indifferent about Japan overall but was not sure if it takes a while to like/appreciate Japan hence the post. But as one poster said I could get bogged down here if I stay too long.

Much thanks for the advice so far!
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Postby Coligny » Fri Dec 02, 2011 9:56 pm

As I said I feel weird as I see that most gaijin either LOVE it here or hate it with a passion. I don't like the food or women here but I like the cleanness and convenience. Everything else I don't have a strong opinion either way.


At first I was not giving a flying fuck aboot japan... had to check carefully some maps few weeks before packing to be sure where I was supposed to land (thought it was much closer to Vietnam and farther from north korea, all my maps being euro centered, japan was mostly on the side after the big arrow "there shall be dragoons" and "beware of the date changing line after this point")

Then I was like... hey... this feels like home... 30 years ago... (read, it sucks...)... since last march... it's more like... "so little land, so many idiots..."

Then the trapdoor closed behind me... looking back home... "shit guys, when did you become so stupid..."

Today I feel like i'm on the wrong planet... and I'm lucky to live in a house big enough to be a world on its own... because if I was also stuck in a rabbit hut it would be... bad...
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Postby nikoneko » Fri Dec 02, 2011 11:38 pm

JLR wrote:Yup! That's why I left the USA after 2 years teaching in a poor, inner city district where the parents and students did not give a shit and my job was tied to the state test scores (thanks No Child Left Behind and President Bush! :devil2: ). My school here the students are polite and the parents don't make excuses for their kids.

I can't speak for much myself but my _entire_ family, save me, going back to the great-grandparents are educators. My mom just retired this year after working her way up to principal of a few different elementary schools, her favorite but actually not toughest jobs were in inner-city schools.

She absolutely loves the system here. I'd have to get her to post on FG to explain exactly why she loves the early education here but of course that isn't gonna happen. Anyway for me I have a 4 year old who learned about acorns and their uses in preschool and I think that's really cool. We are still wary though of what's going to happen to his education in high school, it can be messy. Anecdotal there you go.
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Postby GomiGirl » Sat Dec 03, 2011 12:00 am

Don't invest in land here unless you know what you are doing or plan to be here for the long run. Real estate here is odd.

Save money and invest back home. Either get yourself a little portfolio of stocks, bonds and mutual funds (am assuming you are not contributing to your 401K from here) and/or save up some money for a downpayment on some investment property... eg a house in your home town that you rent out to cover the mortgage. Real estate is a good buy in many parts of the US right now as the market is still low AFAIK.

Make sure you have a fun life, get out and about, eat drink and be merry, but also do something smart for your future so that when you are ready to *ahem* settle down (for want of a better term) you have already made a start by paying off loans and starting a savings plan etc. Your future self will thank your present self for being so clever.

Talk to a good financial person about the tax benefits available to you while you are living abroad. Be careful about who you work with though as there are lots of cowboys out there who are not licenced and are not looking out for your best interest.
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Postby Russell » Sat Dec 03, 2011 2:36 am

GomiGirl wrote:Don't invest in land here unless you know what you are doing or plan to be here for the long run. Real estate here is odd.

This cannot be said enough: unless you plan to live here long term, do not invest in real estate. It will mostly decrease in value over the years.
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Postby JLR » Sat Dec 03, 2011 11:35 am

her favorite but actually not toughest jobs were in inner-city schools.


That was a long time ago probably before No Child Left Behind and massive cuts in education. Oh and teachers made out to be greedy and rich (Wisconsin protests) and collective bargaining being taken away.

Make sure you have a fun life, get out and about, eat drink and be merry, but also do something smart for your future so that when you are ready to *ahem* settle down (for want of a better term) you have already made a start by paying off loans and starting a savings plan etc. Your future self will thank your present self for being so clever.


Sage advice. Much thanks. Student loans paid off and am in the process of saving for my future. I would hate to leave here and have no savings to show for it. That and I learned always have enough money set aside to get the hell out of where ever I am just in case shit hits the fan

This cannot be said enough: unless you plan to live here long term, do not invest in real estate. It will mostly decrease in value over the years.


Much thanks.

I guess I owe lots of people here a beer.
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Postby Ikemen-of-d00m » Sun Dec 04, 2011 10:49 am

Samurai_Jerk wrote:I'm kind of with you on Japanese women. I wouldn't say I'm not attracted to them but I don't know what the big deal is. Being an ass man doesn't help either.


I'm like the King of Ass Men, and I absolutely adore Japan. To me, the shape and size should be in proportion to the girl's body, and not just "big and juicy". Sure, I like big and juicy asses as well(I'm not the King for no reason), but it just can't be compared with a nice and sporty ass on an Asian body frame:drool5:

And then there's the aging issue that Western women have. It especially affects their asses..
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Postby Bobby Sticker » Sun Dec 04, 2011 6:55 pm

How do you know when to leave? If you are not staying on because of children or a wife, the question to ask is why do you stay on at all? For ass? like the above poster? Compared to what you could be accomplishing in your own country in terms of making a stab at a career and a place as a respectable person in your community, both of which are impossible on any significant level here, your motives for staying are without a doubt less meaningful.
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Postby matsuki » Sun Dec 04, 2011 11:32 pm

Russell wrote:This cannot be said enough: unless you plan to live here long term, do not invest in real estate. It will mostly decrease in value over the years.


Better to just say don't invest in real estate here until shit hits the fan. I'll either be here long term or be bouncing back and forth between here in LA...but as GG said, better to invest up an investment property in the US while the getting is good cause the inflated to high hell land costs in the city and suburbia here will eventually fall apart. It's inevidible with the declining population and currency situation.
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Postby Coligny » Mon Dec 05, 2011 12:28 am

chokonen888 wrote:Better to just say don't invest in real estate here until shit hits the fan


Don't know... you have to consider the bank collapse too... a piece of land... it stay yours...
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Postby Russell » Mon Dec 05, 2011 1:13 am

chokonen888 wrote:Better to just say don't invest in real estate here until shit hits the fan. I'll either be here long term or be bouncing back and forth between here in LA...but as GG said, better to invest up an investment property in the US while the getting is good cause the inflated to high hell land costs in the city and suburbia here will eventually fall apart. It's inevitable with the declining population and currency situation.

Yes, that is true, especially if you are young, but at a certain age people want to settle down and have more space for their families. There are already good deals out there, but you have to find them. In any case, do not buy or build new, because prices are too high compared to the quality you get.

Rather, buy a good quality house (like steel-framed or concrete) second-hand. These are more expensive than the cheap trash that abound, but not too much, since the Japanese real-estate market has this peculiar characteristic that age discounts more than quality counts. There are relatively few buyers in the somewhat higher price segment of small/middle-sized-company-shachou-class houses, which tend to be better quality and come with more land. The higher property taxes also make this type of house unattractive to the average buyer, so expect bigger discounts in prices than in the lower regions. These houses tend to be cheaper than newly built smaller houses of lower quality with less land, and they are much less affected by age (I am talking 10 to 15 years old here).

Anyway, I am not American and do not plan to live long-term in the USA, so even the current cheap prices there are useless to me. Prices in the Netherlands (my home country) have deflated a bit, but they are still outrageously high, so that is not an option for me either (and I don't have a job there anyway). Keep in mind that real-estate prices in Japan have decreased a couple of percentages per year for two decades.

It also helps if you have two right hands, because with a second-hand house you will skip the basically maintenance-free first 10 years.
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Postby Russell » Mon Dec 05, 2011 1:18 am

Coligny wrote:Don't know... you have to consider the bank collapse too... a piece of land... it stay yours...

Good point. When the government starts to print money in earnest, it may be better to have property rather than cash. Alternatively, it may be good to get your cash abroad, but you may be too late when problems occur, and anyway you never know what happens in those other countries (it is unstable everywhere now).
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Postby IparryU » Mon Dec 05, 2011 11:24 am

GomiGirl wrote:Talk to a good financial person about the tax benefits available to you while you are living abroad. Be careful about who you work with though as there are lots of cowboys out there who are not licenced and are not looking out for your best interest.

Mind you that a lot of the good and bad finance guys are licensed (general IFA BS licence... forgot acronym...) but break the agreement cause they get paid offshore...

very true about the tax benefits especially with property overseas. re japanese property... really make sure you know your stuff...
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Postby matsuki » Mon Dec 05, 2011 12:15 pm

Coligny wrote:Don't know... you have to consider the bank collapse too... a piece of land... it stay yours...


Russell wrote:Yes, that is true, especially if you are young, but at a certain age people want to settle down and have more space for their families. There are already good deals out there, but you have to find them. In any case, do not buy or build new, because prices are too high compared to the quality you get.

Rather, buy a good quality house (like steel-framed or concrete) second-hand. These are more expensive than the cheap trash that abound, but not too much, since the Japanese real-estate market has this peculiar characteristic that age discounts more than quality counts. There are relatively few buyers in the somewhat higher price segment of small/middle-sized-company-shachou-class houses, which tend to be better quality and come with more land. The higher property taxes also make this type of house unattractive to the average buyer, so expect bigger discounts in prices than in the lower regions. These houses tend to be cheaper than newly built smaller houses of lower quality with less land, and they are much less affected by age (I am talking 10 to 15 years old here).

Anyway, I am not American and do not plan to live long-term in the USA, so even the current cheap prices there are useless to me. Prices in the Netherlands (my home country) have deflated a bit, but they are still outrageously high, so that is not an option for me either (and I don't have a job there anyway). Keep in mind that real-estate prices in Japan have decreased a couple of percentages per year for two decades.

It also helps if you have two right hands, because with a second-hand house you will skip the basically maintenance-free first 10 years.


Agreed but if you are dead set on setting up permanent camp, I would still only buy land somewhat in the inaka where the prices are somewhat reasonable. (and take advantage of the low interest rates to build something decent or retro some existing awesomeness)
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Postby Catoneinutica » Mon Dec 05, 2011 12:35 pm

Ultimately, gold, guns, and farmland are all that'll remain if fiat system collapses. Certainly gold and farmland are doing well as investments, but Japan has managed to fuck up even farmland as a safe haven.

Buying an existing house and fixing it up is certainly the cheapest way to go, but J-homes are so shoddily built that it'd be like buying a double-wide trailer (single-wide if in Tokyo) and fixing it up.
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Postby IparryU » Mon Dec 05, 2011 5:27 pm

IparryU wrote:Mind you that a lot of the good and bad finance guys are licensed (general IFA BS licence... forgot acronym...) but break the agreement cause they get paid offshore...

very true about the tax benefits especially with property overseas. re japanese property... really make sure you know your stuff...

further this... you can get an apartment complex with 107% financing (including closing costs), monthly cash flow, tax benefits, and life converge. but then you would need an offshore property to depreciate your gains... this turns in a cycle of buying multiple properties over the years... many cycles of building equity and having to provide some sort of loss to knock down your taxable income.

doable, but requires some time and effort put in.


Catoneinutica wrote:Buying an existing house and fixing it up is certainly the cheapest way to go, but J-homes are so shoddily built that it'd be like buying a double-wide trailer (single-wide if in Tokyo) and fixing it up.

a quick buck for a small price... my pops did that in the states but he didn't have enough money to buy the properties most the time... so he lucked out. if he had a couple hundred grand in his pocket he could have done well... but that wasn't there... so he lucked out a bit...
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Postby Coligny » Mon Dec 05, 2011 6:34 pm

IparryU wrote:further this... you can get an apartment complex with 107% financing (including closing costs), monthly cash flow, tax benefits, and life converge. but then you would need an offshore property to depreciate your gains... this turns in a cycle of buying multiple properties over the years... many cycles of building equity and having to provide some sort of loss to knock down your taxable income.


Whut the fook is this guy saying...

Need to go back to my "kapitalism for dummies" bouks...
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Postby Samurai_Jerk » Mon Dec 05, 2011 8:17 pm

Coligny wrote:Whut the fook is this guy saying...

Need to go back to my "kapitalism for dummies" bouks...


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Postby JLR » Mon Dec 05, 2011 8:19 pm

the question to ask is why do you stay on at all? For ass? like the above poster? Compared to what you could be accomplishing in your own country in terms of making a stab at a career and a place as a respectable person in your community, both of which are impossible on any significant level here, your motives for staying are without a doubt less meaningful.


Equally impossible to have a decent career back in the states teaching these days (NCLB, no collective bargaining, massive cuts in education, teachers getting less and less respect, ...etc). I get a better salary here and don't have to deal with over half the bullshit I dealt with in the USA teaching (better behaved kids, no helicopter parents, my job not directly tied to the state test score...etc).

That and pretty much done with the USA overall. No grand desire to return anytime soon. Maybe in 10 or 15 years? I dunno.

I'll keep an open mind about renewing for 2 more years but if I had to choose today I would find an international school somewhere else. Currently applying for the next school year and if a better school/country is available I will take it.
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Postby wagyl » Mon Dec 05, 2011 9:49 pm

Coligny wrote:Whut the fook is this guy saying...

Need to go back to my "kapitalism for dummies" bouks...

I think that the thrust of the post was that if you structure things so that you lose money, you can reduce your tax burden.

Which is all fine and dandy, but you are essentially setting out to lose money. I can do that with much less effort.


Getting back on track with the original topic, I, and most of the people I know, seem to have hit the "will I stay or will I go" stage at four years. It seems that any longer than that and you are having to rebuild from scratch back home. But in this case, the OP is not going home, so that really doesn't apply. The OP is pretty much free to make his own mind up with each contract renewal. Japan suits some people, and I have had experiences here both in my career and in my private life that I would not have had the opportunity for back home.

But every choice necessitates giving up the options you didn't choose. Setting myself up here with permanent residence so that my life here isn't a slave to employer's whim, has meant that if I now set off for somewhere else, I would feel that I am giving up that status which took many years to earn. So while I am happy here, the "what if" demons sometimes visit in the night.
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Postby JLR » Tue Dec 06, 2011 6:25 pm

and most of the people I know, seem to have hit the "will I stay or will I go" stage at four years........... and I have had experiences here both in my career and in my private life that I would not have had the opportunity for back home.


Is that what made you stay here long term?

Interesting on the 4 year plan comment as well.

Much thanks
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Postby wagyl » Tue Dec 06, 2011 10:26 pm

I'm still here because I am still having fun. That is an index I recommend to anybody.

The "four year stage" is more about whether/when to go home, rather than whether/when to leave. And it seems that you have other thoughts there.

I was slow in entering this thread because I thought Yokohammer said all that was needed in the third post. The decision is entirely yours to make. If you have no particular pressing reason to be here, and somewhere else seems more enticing, there is nothing stopping you making that move. If you are here for longer, you do feel that you have invested more of yourself in your life here, and it is harder to leave.
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Re: At what point?

Postby nickels » Sat Dec 08, 2012 7:56 pm

I've been here for 16 years and I still haven't said it.
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Re: At what point?

Postby Coligny » Sat Dec 08, 2012 10:35 pm

Maybee we need an autolocking of threads older than one year without activity...
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Re: At what point?

Postby wagyl » Sun Dec 09, 2012 9:36 am

Sometimes the resurrection of a thread has value. I am not sure if this is one of those occasions.

A zombie icon would be cool though.
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Maezumo
 
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Joined: Thu Mar 17, 2011 11:08 pm
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