Maybe you don know.

[Mennon]

One of my students told me that when Japanese cartoons are exported overseas, they have to edit out the soundtrack of cicadas beforehand, because, "maybe you don know what za noise is."

You try not to laugh, or get upset, but I'm sick of this shit. They hear one stupid talent or dodgy "expert" say it on a variety show and they take it as gospel.

I'm interested in any other myths you've been told by your Japanese friends. Longer intestines, anyone?

[homesweethome]

Gaijins can't stand Japanese sunlight because their eyes are blue.
Gaijins can't appreciete the true flavor of Japanese food because their tounges don't have as many tastebuds as Japanese.
Gaijins body odor is stronger because of their heavy fat diet (this might be true I don't know)

My all time favorite: My Japanese girlfriend told me once that her male Japanese friend told her that it might be true that gaijins have a larger penis but it is a fact that their erect penisis are 'softer' than Japanese. When I proved to her this was not in fact the case, her reaction was "Wow, it's big AND hard!"

She was quite pleased with this revelation.

[IkemenTommy]

How about..

If you look foreign and Gaijin-ish, then the assumption is that there is no way in hell you could speak the Japanese language. I think it is only in Nippon and nowhere else in the world that you get wacked comments like "oh.. you speak our language so very well. Where did you learn to speak like us?".. which translates to more of like "how the hell did you learn such a difficult language being a gaijin?"

What the fuck? Have you ever seen that inchiki fake gaijin Dave Spector? I can speak the language enough to get by and it is far from perfect native level but it always draws the people's jaws to the ground when they hear me talk. But since I am not purely Japanese (hereditary wise), I am genetically unprogrammed and incapable to speak the language? Like as if the Japanese people are the only ones born gifted and talented enough to comprehend their own language? It is this debunked and convoluted thought that still exists today that amazes me. Some people need to get out of the country more often and see the world.

Longer intestines, anyone?

The subject about being long is no myth, but let's don't go there.

[IkemenTommy]

Gaijins can't stand Japanese sunlight because their eyes are blue.

Though that may be true, they seem to appreciate the gaijin eye color whether it be blue, hazel, grey, etc.

Gaijins can't appreciete the true flavor of Japanese food because their tounges don't have as many tastebuds as Japanese.

The umami moment!

Gaijins body odor is stronger because of their heavy fat diet (this might be true I don't know)

At least gaijins invest in deodorants.

My all time favorite: My Japanese girlfriend told me once that her male Japanese friend told her that it might be true that gaijins have a larger penis but it is a fact that their erect penisis are 'softer' than Japanese. When I proved to her this was not in fact the case, her reaction was "Wow, it's big AND hard!"

She was quite pleased with this revelation.

Damnit, I wanted to save this topic for another thread!

[kurohinge1]

... My all time favorite: My Japanese girlfriend told me .. "Wow, it's big AND hard!"

She said the same to me !

Just kidding.

But that does remind me of this from Rob Pongi's website:





I remember a few posts in the past about this topic with some gems in them but I can't recall what they were originally about. Sorry.

[homesweethome]

She was quite pleased with this revelation.
Damnit, I wanted to save this topic for another thread!

Yes and that is why I have dedicated my life to correcting these dangerous misperceptions.

[puargs]

homesweethome said:

Gaijins can't stand Japanese sunlight because their eyes are blue.

Actually, this is sometimes true. The lack of melanin in the eye (as compared to people with brown or otherwise colored eyes) is what produces the blue color, and it can sometimes make you very sensitive to light. I had light sensitivity for years and never knew what it was until I finally complained to my doctor.

However, as for not standing *Japanese* sunlight... Well. Every Japanese person is just too tsuyoi for his/her own good and would of course have absolutely every right to point this out.

I was constantly told by my friends and relatives of my friends that I "must eat more because [my] body is big", whatever that means. I'm 6' even and 165 pounds, so apparantly a "big body" means "tall". They were seriously under the impression that if I didn't eat more, I would die. Everyone was always "shinpai shiteimasu".

I saw tall Japanese guys eating half again as much as me, and maintaining their ghostlike figure- no one said a thing to them. I guess it's a shame to waste a gaijin's "big body", eh?

[Charles]

homesweethome said:

Gaijins can't stand Japanese sunlight because their eyes are blue.

Actually, this is sometimes true. The lack of melanin in the eye (as compared to people with brown or otherwise colored eyes) is what produces the blue color, and it can sometimes make you very sensitive to light. I had light sensitivity for years and never knew what it was until I finally complained to my doctor.

That is utterly ridiculous. Just because some people have blue eyes and have sensitivity to light does not mean there is a causal link between blue eyes and light sensitivity. Go learn what Post Hoc Ergo Propter Hoc means.

[Naniwan Kid]

How about..

If you look foreign and Gaijin-ish, then the assumption is that there is no way in hell you could speak the Japanese language. I think it is only in Nippon and nowhere else in the world that you get wacked comments like "oh.. you speak our language so very well. Where did you learn to speak like us?".. which translates to more of like "how the hell did you learn such a difficult language being a gaijin?"

You know, I have experienced this only rarely. Recently I was in the shopping alley under the JR tracks from JR Kobe to JR Motomachi and was looking at a shirt. The old lady said "Gomen, ne. Small, ne." And I said "chotto chisai, ne." and she just laughed and said something like "I don't need to try and speak English, huh?"

If you want to really waste your time, learn Korean. You can have a perfect accent, but be a blondie speaking Korean and no one over the age of 25 will even give you the time of day back in Korean. Maybe it's because I have always been in Japanese cities, but in the last 10 years the reactions I get to being able to actually speak Japanese have dropped to almost nil. 20 years ago they would hand me a fork with my ramen. Now I get kicked out of pachinko parlors in Japanese, not broken English.

I think part of the "surprise" you may experience comes from the fact that no one in the world speaks Japanese except in Japan, unlike Chinese, French, English, Spanish, etc. I often translate comments like that as poor Japanese self-esteem, and less shock at our amazing skills.

[Greji]

Yes and that is why I have dedicated my life to correcting these dangerous misperceptions.

Such a noble undertaking is truly worthy of merit. You should be proud of your unselfish efforts for mankind.

If you send me your list of corrected converts, I shall humbly attempt to re-enforce your magnanimous teachings to show them that it was not a flash in the pan. I can always send them back to you for remedial correction.

[amdg]

Recently I was in the shopping alley under the JR tracks from JR Kobe to JR Motomachi

That's a cool alley - I like the SW end where the antiques are.

[puargs]

That is utterly ridiculous. Just because some people have blue eyes and have sensitivity to light does not mean there is a causal link between blue eyes and light sensitivity. Go learn what Post Hoc Ergo Propter Hoc means.

Hahahaha, Charles... As "interesting" as the Uiowa doctors can be, I trust their opinion over yours.

[Greji]

That is utterly ridiculous. Just because some people have blue eyes and have sensitivity to light does not mean there is a causal link between blue eyes and light sensitivity. Go learn what Post Hoc Ergo Propter Hoc means.

Hahahaha, Charles... As "interesting" as the Uiowa doctors can be, I trust their opinion over yours.

Well, I don't know if there is a connection or not, so just to be sure since I have blue eyes, I do not go outdoors until sunset which seems to just coincide with Happy Hour.

[Naniwan Kid]

Recently I was in the shopping alley under the JR tracks from JR Kobe to JR Motomachi

That's a cool alley - I like the SW end where the antiques are.

Me too. I met one guy who had a ton of SW stuff (in the space of a airplane bathroom)...a lot of it was from the U.S., but he had some really old Japanese toys, some of which involved lighting a tiny fire in a metal boat to make the make shift motor run. Looked a little dangerous...

As an Irish-blooded, green-eyed, pink-skinned monster, I can't even go outside without my sunglasses...I don't know how Japanese can walk around without them. Obviously something is different....(maybe I am a vampire)....

[amdg]

Me too. I met one guy who had a ton of SW stuff (in the space of a airplane bathroom)...a lot of it was from the U.S., but he had some really old Japanese toys, some of which involved lighting a tiny fire in a metal boat to make the make shift motor run. Looked a little dangerous...

This is kind of on topic, because that alley is the only place I've ever been treated badly by a shopkeep in Japan - in a way that race had nothing to do with. I asked the old woman if she could open a glass case so I could get a better look at an (obviously fake) Patek Phillipe. She just mumbled in gutter kansai ben that if all I wanted was to look then she's not going to bother opening the case. That put a smile on my face the whole day.

[homesweethome]

GB wrote:

Such a noble undertaking is truly worthy of merit. You should be proud of your unselfish efforts for mankind.

If you send me your list of corrected converts, I shall humbly attempt to re-enforce your magnanimous teachings to show them that it was not a flash in the pan. I can always send them back to you for remedial correction.

Thank you, I accept with great humility and pride at having served as the "Gregory Clark" for all gaijins to emulate, destroying inter-racial barriers between the frustrated sexes for generations of Asian complexed foreign men to follow in my foot steps, such as yourself.

My list of converts however is a record that will go down in history, and the most remarkable thing is that there has never been any need for 're-enforcement'. Most of these women took their conversion so dramatically, they never felt the need for male company other than mine from the point of their conversion. Putting them all in a pile would certainly degrade the spiritual experience they had previously achieved.

I respectfully decline.

[Mike Oxlong]

Gaijins body odor is stronger because of their heavy fat diet (this might be true I don't know)

IN general, non-Asian foreigners do have a stronger body ordor that Asians...

It has to do with the two different types of sweat glands humans have. Caucasians and people of African heritage have a much higher proportion of the type where sweat odor is a problem...

See Wikipedia - Sweat for details.

[arnoter]

How about..

If you look foreign and Gaijin-ish, then the assumption is that there is no way in hell you could speak the Japanese language. I think it is only in Nippon and nowhere else in the world that you get wacked comments like "oh.. you speak our language so very well. Where did you learn to speak like us?".. which translates to more of like "how the hell did you learn such a difficult language being a gaijin?"

Please consider the inverse position: Most of the Americans I met in Paris were expecting everybody to speak English, American I meant. Worse, I even heard a US tourist insulting French people in a bar with his fellows, thinking that no one around could understand him.. A shame! we were 5 at my table understanding that we were a kind of jerk people unable to do anything by ourselves...

[Mike Oxlong]

Unfortunately, the Japanese nullify this "non-stink sweat" advantage by bathing in the evening, sweating all night, going to work without showering, and sweating even more all day...

The afternoon/evening trains packed with commuters going home after work are foul

[amdg]

How about..

If you look foreign and Gaijin-ish, then the assumption is that there is no way in hell you could speak the Japanese language. I think it is only in Nippon and nowhere else in the world that you get wacked comments like "oh.. you speak our language so very well. Where did you learn to speak like us?".. which translates to more of like "how the hell did you learn such a difficult language being a gaijin?"

Please consider the inverse position: Most of the Americans I met in Paris were expecting everybody to speak English, American I meant. Worse, I even heard a US tourist insulting French people in a bar with his fellows, thinking that no one around could understand him.. A shame! we were 5 at my table understanding that we were a kind of jerk people unable to do anything by ourselves...

So did you do anything about it? Or just form an underground movement against Americans.

[arnoter]

No, I didn't do anything. What for? I prefer helping in English americans who need some hints and ask us nicely. I have known too many americans in my life to create any underground movements.

I just wanted to underline that everybody is happy to hear a foreigner express himself in our language. There is nothing special to be praised by a Japanese because we speak his language. It is even normal to congratulate a foreigner who speaks in our language.

[Charles]

That is utterly ridiculous. Just because some people have blue eyes and have sensitivity to light does not mean there is a causal link between blue eyes and light sensitivity. Go learn what Post Hoc Ergo Propter Hoc means.

Hahahaha, Charles... As "interesting" as the Uiowa doctors can be, I trust their opinion over yours.

Apparently you haven't bothered to look up Post Hoc Ergo Propter Hoc. Hint: correlation is not equal to causation. Further hint:

Correlation:
80% of all drivers involved in automobile crashes consumed tomatoes or tomato products within 24 hours of the crash.

Causation:
40% of all drivers involved in automobile crashes consumed alcohol within 4 hours of the crash.

[IkemenTommy]

How about..

If you look foreign and Gaijin-ish, then the assumption is that there is no way in hell you could speak the Japanese language. I think it is only in Nippon and nowhere else in the world that you get wacked comments like "oh.. you speak our language so very well. Where did you learn to speak like us?".. which translates to more of like "how the hell did you learn such a difficult language being a gaijin?"

Please consider the inverse position: Most of the Americans I met in Paris were expecting everybody to speak English, American I meant. Worse, I even heard a US tourist insulting French people in a bar with his fellows, thinking that no one around could understand him.. A shame! we were 5 at my table understanding that we were a kind of jerk people unable to do anything by ourselves...

Americans assume that since English is considered the universal language, it's everywhere you want to be (like the Visa commercial). But at the same time, in certain snobby parts of Europe, ie France and some parts of Germany don't speak a single word of English, yet some do understand as you've pointed out. Sometimes, making the wrong assumption can get you in trouble.

In the U.S., I never seen anyone get all excited up in joy and cream their pants when they hear an Asian (or any race for that matter) speak English. Yeah, they may be bwoken and hard to understand, but no one ever asked the question of "how" he knows the language. Hint: because he studied, dumb ass. This was not a big deal to anyone in the U.S. but it is here in Japan so I made that comment.

[arnoter]

But at the same time, in certain snobby parts of Europe, ie France and some parts of Germany don't speak a single word of English, yet some do understand as you've pointed out

Although France should be included, it seems hard to add Germany to the list... They are very good at foreign languages. At least, much more than French, Spanish or Italian. German, like scandinavian languages (finnish apart) are anglo-saxon languages, so, they have less difficulties than latin people... And, please beware of stereotypes when saying that people don't speak English because they're snobbish (or too proud of their language as we can sometimes hear)...

Americans assume that since English is considered the universal language, it's everywhere you want to be

I think that's exactely the reason why, correct me if I am wrong, Americans are expecting everyone to speak English and don't "get all excited up in joy and cream their pants" when they hear a English-speaking foreigner... But, what do you think of that? Is that something that remains true for you. Especially for someone like you, being in Japan, now?
That's certainly the main difference between English-speaking countries and the others. However, I maintain that an American speaking French will be warmly welcome in Paris (but I won't cream my pants, though)...

[kurohinge1]

Apparently you haven't bothered to look up Post Hoc Ergo Propter Hoc. Hint: correlation is not equal to causation. Further hint:

Correlation:
80% of all drivers involved in automobile crashes consumed tomatoes or tomato products within 24 hours of the crash.

Causation:
40% of all drivers involved in automobile crashes consumed alcohol within 4 hours of the crash.

Actually, the second one is also a correlation. The causes are not stated.

To suggest what Charles has would mean that you should drink and drive as you're less likely to be involved in an accident (only 40% compared to 60%)!

He should've stopped at the tomato example.

[Charles]

Apparently you haven't bothered to look up Post Hoc Ergo Propter Hoc. Hint: correlation is not equal to causation. Further hint:

Correlation:
80% of all drivers involved in automobile crashes consumed tomatoes or tomato products within 24 hours of the crash.

Causation:
40% of all drivers involved in automobile crashes consumed alcohol within 4 hours of the crash.

Actually, the second one is also a correlation. The causes are not stated.

To suggest what Charles has would mean that you should drink and drive as you're less likely to be involved in an accident (only 40% compared to 60%)!

He should've stopped at the tomato example.

I specifically intended to show that causation is usually not distinguishable from correlation without further data, and that causation is often weak statistically. Unfortunately your analysis of the drinking stats is flawed. I leave the proof as an exercise for the reader.

[kurohinge1]

... I specifically intended to show that causation is usually not distinguishable from correlation without further data, and that causation is often weak statistically...

Unfortunately, there was no correlation between what you intended and what you actually wrote.