The Official SPAM Thread

[Taro Toporific]

This came in my yahoo email yesterday without a link or a valid reply address...

[SIZE="4"] Hi
Buy viagra or die!
Have a nice day. [/SIZE]

[Yorik]

Well I don't want to die, but I also don't to get a huge boner without something to wield it upon.. With the genital piercings, it could also get dangerous and take out someones eye..

[nullpointer]

This came in my yahoo email yesterday without a link or a valid reply address...

So what did you choose?

[FG Lurker]

So what did you choose?

He lived to post the message, so.....

[dimwit]

This came in my yahoo email yesterday without a link or a valid reply address...

Ok I confess. But I only did it because I got the same e-mail saying that if I didn't send it on to ten more people my hair would fall out and I would become a compulsive masterbater.

[FG Lurker]

Ok I confess. But I only did it because I got the same e-mail saying that if I didn't send it on to ten more people my hair would fall out and I would become a compulsive masterbater.

VIRUS WARNING

If you receive an email entitled "Goodtimes" delete it IMMEDIATELY. Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer.

It demagnetizes the strips on ALL of your credit cards. It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR, and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CDs you attempt to play. It will reprogram your phone autodial to call only 1-900 numbers.

This virus will mix jello into your fish tank.

IT WILL CAUSE YOUR TOILET TO FLUSH WHILE YOU ARE SHOWERING.

It will drink ALL your beer.

FOR GOD'S SAKE, ARE YOU LISTENING??

It will give your ex-girlfriend your new phone number. It will leave its socks on the coffee table when you are expecting company. It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine. If the Goodtimes message is opened in a Windows 2000/XP environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub.

It will hide your car keys when you are late for work. Goodtimes will make you fall in love with a penguin. It will give you nightmares about circus midgets. It will pour sugar in your gas tank and shave off both your eyebrows while dating your girlfriend behind your back and billing the dinner and hotel to your Mastercard.

It moves your car randomly around parking lots so you can't find it. It will kick your dog. It will leave libidinous messages on your boss's voice mail in your voice! It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to behold. It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.

******* WARN AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN. *******

And if you don't send this to 5000 people in 20 seconds, you'll fart so hard that your right leg will spasm and shoot straight out in front of you, sending sparks that will ignite the person nearest you.

Send this warning to everyone.

(If you are a blonde, this is a joke!!!)

[Greji]

So what did you choose?

I got the same mail, but I'm still alive, although I don't have enough skin left on my upper body to blink my eyes!

[dimwit]

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[amdg]

This in my FG Private Messages this morning...


Letter of Relationship and Establishment Aid.
Letter of Relationship and Establishment Aid.
for Personal Attention and Confidential
From :NKOMO KAMARA
Abidjan Cote d' Ivoire West Africa.Tel+0022507924282
For logistic reason contact me on e.mail:
(nkom1010@yahoo.fr)
Attention: Respectful
Greetings and How are you today,I am NKOMO KAMARA.I would like you to permit me to apply through this medium for your co-operation and to secure an opportunity to invest and do joint relationship and business with you in your country.
I have a substantial capital I honourably Inherited from my late father late Chief EDWARD KAMARA who was minister of Interior and deal in Cocao and coffee plantation and share from family Gold, diamond Minining site.The Epmigo rebels killed Him recently in poltical crisis in our country that have resulted to war since this past two years.

I intend to invest this fund in profitable areas in your country into a very lucratives business venture of which you are to advise and execute the said venture over there for the mutual benefits of both of us.Most especially is for you to help me come over to your base if possible for You be able co-operate with me to become my business partner in your country and create ideas on how money will be invested, properly managed and the type of investment after the money is transferred to your custody with your assistance. I inherited this sum from my late father whom the
rebels killed because he was not supporting their selfish intrest to topple the president Gbagbo the
present president.
Meanwhile, on indication of your willingness to handle this transaction sincerely by protecting my
Interests and upon your acceptance of this proposal. I would furnish you with the full detailed information, procedure, amount involve is below and we shall mutually agree on your percentage interest or share holding for helping me to secure the release of the deposit and investing the fund into a lucratives profitable venture in your care.It is The sum of Eight Million Five Hundred Thousand Five USD $8.500.000USD I shall be glad to reserve this respect and opportunity for you, if you so desire.
However, I do urge you to give this matter your immediate attention it deserves.
I want you to be rest assured that everything is in order and legitimate it was due to the political crisis in our country that have resulted to war which cause everybody to find a way to get out the country, that make's me to use this medium to request for your assistance hoping that you will not let me down.
This fund is legitimately acquired by my late father from sales of cocoa and coffee and diamond dealings.
Looking forward to your prompt response on e.mailnkom1010@yahoo.fr)
Faithfully
Nkomo Kamara

[Taro Toporific]

PRIOR ART (and hope for old freakazoids)

[dimwit]

I used to teach some dick doctors in the pre-Viagra days and they had come up with a wonderful way of ensuring erections -all you had to do was stick a big needle in your dick with some such drug and you'd have a erection for some plus hours.

[Taro Toporific]

Now here's a spam [slightly munged to prevent trackback] via my fuckedgaijin.com address that came in under all the spam filters.

Hey baby, found this site and want-ed you to check it out first-Need Soft-ware?
Date: Wed, 03 May 2006 09:53:19 +0800
X-AntiAbuse: Original Domain - fuckedgaijin.com

In a trice without warning the face of nature grew sull-en Black angry mouths, the clouds swallowed up the sun The air was dense with suppressed excitement The wind howled through the long cor-ridors and sobbed and whispered in the secret recesses of the cells The chime of the Ves-per bell flowed out into the infinite The silver notes the holy chant wrestled with the storm like ministering angels with Satan At last the imps of Storm lay van-quished. The hurri-cane paused in its course to do reverence to God. Suddenly, however a terrific clap of thunder smote the sky The holy chime of the bell broke off with a a shrill diss-onance Demons seemed to people the bel-fry Rain came down like cataract Flashes of lightning chased one another like battling fiery dragons. The bells jangled hideously out of tune Unea-rthly noises like a sata-nic parody of the holy sound that marks the elevation of the host alarmed the ears the horrified monks unspeak-able blas-phemies Prayer with ceremony and inter-spersed midst of a sacred had suddenly gone mad in the if a High Priest Tremb-ling but resolute Father Am-brose seized a crucifix In pha-lanx if for battle the brethren followed Sol-emn, with gleaming eyes and trembling nostrils, the militant army of God swept up steep stairs mumbling the ritual of the Exor-cism Infected somewhat by the general hyste-ria Aub-rey followed

Also I received this "spam" from my family wondering why I'm not home for Golden Week.

DEAR MR TARO;
WE REGRET TO INFORM YOU THAT DUE TO YOUR EXTENDED ABSENCE FROM THE UNITED STATES WE HAVE REVOKED YOUR CITIZENSHIP. THIS DECISION WAS QUITE POSSIBLY INFLUENCED BY THE FACT YOU ARE NOT PAYING US ANY TAXES AND WE FIGURE YOU ARE POISED TO RETURN STATESIDE AND COST OUR MEDICAID SYSTEM A BUNDLE.

[dimwit]

Apparantly, I've been wasting all my time trying not to learn Japanese when I could have.....

A soft, cotton cloud landing and worry falls away. You're in
a foreign country now, but things don't seem so foreign. You've
planned well. Confidence is on your side when you speak the language.
"Take me to the hotel, please... keep the change." A concierge
later and you're in bed watching their local news, humming "It's
a Small World After All."

A bit of free time, then that important meeting. Shopping.
Definitely! You take in the sights and bites, flash camera
lights, and wander through a market's door. Chocolate, cheese,
and bread. So many favorites to bring back, but the setting sun
lets you know this satisfying day is almost done. You take a
quick detour in search of nightlife and spark enjoyable conversations
with the locals. You talk and laugh – a variety of subjects - but
when jetlag catches up with you, you know it's time to call it a night.

Today's your big day. You warmly greet everyone in their native
tongue and engage them with the most tasteful anecdotes from your
evening escapade. Everyone's laughing before you signal that you're
ready to begin. Your proposal resonates with all. You could've
translated it, but what's the point? They learn those business terms
in English, any way. But you never would have broken the ice in English
or caught new sayings if all you did was memorize. It's your new ability
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Personally, I've always wanted to learn Ojibwe.

[Taro Toporific]

[dimwit]

Think this guys have learned neo-Ojibwe.

Would that the same as West African Spammer English?

[IkemenTommy]

[Taro Toporific]

Dang, I'm getting pork spam now. Can anybody guess the source?

Porca | E-mail: ksignoraporca@mail.com | URI: http://20six.nl/signoraporca | Date: 5/23/2006
[floatr][/floatr]
porcaputtanacazzo puttanaputtanaputtanaporcaporcaporcaporcasborrate in boccaputtanasborrate in boccaputtanasborrate in facciacazzo cazzo porcacazzo]figa sborrata sborrate gratiscazzo cazzocazzoputtanaputtanasborrateputtana

[Greji]

[quote="Taro Toporific"]Dang, I'm getting pork spam now. Can anybody guess the source? ]

Buu?

[dimwit]

They really do seem to have low expectations of me....

Sss

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[Taro Toporific]

I've got this on Craigslist today: Mental illness spam.

tokyo craigslist > marketing jobs > DEV[color="Magenta"]ILS DES[/color]IGN
last modified: Sun, 23 Jul 07:01 JST
www. soundclick.com/aka legendary status

www. soundclick.com/caii capown
it was sencored by a terrorist BUSH i remember Y flight 800 was flight ''800''
i remember it was something that invol-ved programming and my mind-ac97 and L-G
msi intel ac-97 audio 9/11/02 they switched the date.
programming soft w air with thought.
software also reacts with p ai nt
the paint
the paint
i also remember what the driver someone on board was dealing with me with.
i also remember DC-z Evilest time clox
i remember that after i spent mass time playing simms with the world that bush was trying to permeably rig them.
Operantly rigging a time clock means that the worlds time would keep repeating itself
never moving past a certain date. This is possible if you have too much control of
power.
ALSO when i was robbed of money 99 (7/9/2003) the clox were set to expire
i forget when but i made time pak upgrades for them. The fukked up thing is
that i know more about software design than all of microsoft , and they wont even acknolo-eledge The Truth.
They Wan-na Keep Sh-ai loked down well. i wont put up with this shit. Ive saved enough for my corp licence and also b-4 bush had my softs stolen by dhs and port sek
they also stole my tm a patenting softs and im glad to inform them that wasnt my only cop-e. and thats why thEIR Stupid acts of highway robbery lan dead them in 911.
PS DID U KNOW AFTER JACK ABRAMOFF STOLE MY GAMBLING SOFTWARE HE LOST MILLIONS OF YOUR TAX PAYER DOLLER-Z ON ON-LINE GAMBLING SITES!
ALL SOFTS RELATED TO ME WERE PUT IN THE V CHIP
STORAGE PICTURE.THE B-hind the pictures on this site their is Software i built including a ver of office that will never expire. i also have the true font script proving that i made the font that is necessary even to build ms office. it proves i built it first. and also MS is using my ver of dos i made in 86
DHS's MISSLE D-fence system Work f-law-Lessor
i BULT IT B4 THEY STOLE MY JOB or Email ACC.
CHER-off, SOFt. i am The REEL LEADRE. Chert-off is part of the 911 terrorist~MS. So DO Not Fire on Any one until they have fired 1st. our country is not in any danGEr of missile attacks
License, USER-E-greement on and any other vicro-soft product. By downloading and or usage of any of my products are not to be licensed,
copyrighted or distributed by any other company other than vicro-soft! There Will be a fee.
prices to b negotiated 4 fair market Value
Also Microsoft is using the patented by my clock.My i payment.Also The Dll's that were stolen from me to make xp ver 2002 were mirrored
and are in violation FCC, VCCi,and cornell(i wrote)
law codes. i have Probably the only set of DLL's
that are to date CODE and static proof.Also
Ai Os usb auto driver i believe i have found.
My Old pc was stolen But i had removed the hard drives b4 it was taken.LUKe IVIE
PS. Mirrored dll's cause static and He-ctic weather patterns. PSS the next time Som-WUN D-Cides
to run a program THATS IN SYNCH With My i algary-thum 4 your info Thats like detonating a C4
am pm am fm bom over the CeNtRai broadcasting system. Yes i built also Nt Code 4 C4 to b used to build WMD.Ai iqcIa.
a-l-Q--cI-a
aiiqaecia Do Yoo WON a PEAce UHH IVIe
DC house reps will also pay 4 the gambling softs
they stole. ABC WILL PAY 4 SOFTS STOLEN
AND WELL LET THE DEAD REPORTER FROM NY TIMES
RIOP.
To Avoid Criminal procescution and/or fines by(death)or
Govt. WiTCH GoeS FirST.AGEN-Ceyz Globally If you have any of My SOFTWARE in use or being distributed please
Contact The Owner of VICRO-SOFT!!
he can be reached at sonie 206@ yahoo.com
ANY and all sale of VICRO-SOFTS' products are
In Violation Of Law CODEz. Vicro-soft also at all times has the right to refuse service and at all times can change the user agreement.
i have made thousands of pro-duks undUR alias's in online e mail accounts. They have been stolen and sold including the licensing rights to the sofware i had in specific email accounts. 4 example MS MONEY 99
and the algorhythm sha1 or shAI SI IR AI
these algorythms i used to build xp
some wireless time reactors were only a demo
i still have the real ones but now i will go global with them and in doing so i will unmask the truth about time server intel. Also dll serever ai a os. fusion dll library
have 1000 page law to go withn them II
fusion allows ie time travel.

INV e NT oir of usb 2.0. Wireless comm dll's. DVD stolen by dhs and ABC. Fox helped bush bring terror two Citizens Globally.
Gave US ARMY tek 1st. In return They Steal intellectuall pro PORT-e So that thay Can (Justify)Lie or con vi n ce
Fighting terrorists With Terrorism
My i database, ranks the largest Crime IT contractors in the federal market, allowing you to view, analyze, sort STolen data, and follow the trends of the crime players in the Fed Biz industry over a TWENTY year span.
HAMMILTON VS BURR TRE-BUCHET
inventor of the Vicro Chip
<snip>s, StarZ, God, God Bless
<snip>
TerrorISm WAR ON DRUGS. WAR ON PEACE
SO unjust thoughtz with 4c-e Evil spirits can tm errorize


Favorite spot?
<snip>
Anything else...?
you ell UL Uhell
<snip>
ever seen A politition Do a favor 4 An act of kindness out of their good will.
Me have to pay lawerz for their UNJUST doings. CIA my VIC
SHOOTN STARz. II PAC Z MY HERO CHANGES
By the wa y
ps. I have money 4 a lawer. will u help.
check out this site about energy ripoffs
http://www.reliantenergysettlement.com
This is thier offer to repay
The nation in the name of justice freedom liberty persuit of happy-n-o-us
[url]www.sound[color="Magenta"]click.com/akalegend[/color]arystatus[/url]
[url]www.soundclick.c[z]>om/caiicapown[/url]
PC program-mar
best N the world
~
ps I will not use them!
I built usb 2.0 and winNT framework and Vicro-soft source kodz
AL SO AI OS O...ul


* Job location is SEA
* Compensation: BUSHZ HONor
* Telecommuting is ok.
* This is a part-time job.
* This is a contract job.
* This is at a non-profit organization.
* This is an internship job
* yes -- OK for recruiters to contact this job poster.
* yes -- Phone calls about this job are ok.
* yes -- You may contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
* yes -- Reposting this message elsewhere is OK.
* yes -- OK to repost to Job Developers for Persons with Disabilities.




185079578

[dimwit]

I've got this on Craigslist today: Mental illness spam.

Dunno Taro, seem like a bit of an amateur. For one thing the cap locks are all wrong. Words like THE TRUTH, CRIME IT CONTRACTIONS and TERRORIST should be cap locked.

ABC WILL PAY 4 SOFTS STOLEN AND WELL LET THE DEAD REPORTER FROM NY TIMES RIOP.

Should be written: ABC will pay 4 softs STOLEN and well let the DEAD REPORTER from NY Times RIOP

You'd think someone would put together a mental illness writing style guide the avoid these common errors.

[Greji]

[quote="dimwit"]Dunno Taro, seem like a bit of an amateur. For one thing the cap locks are all wrong. Words like THE TRUTH, CRIME IT CONTRACTIONS and TERRORIST should be cap locked.



Should be written: ABC will pay 4 softs STOLEN and well let the DEAD REPORTER from NY Times RIOP

You'd think someone would put together a mental illness writing style guide the avoid these common errors.]

While you guys are playing with all this trash, I just won another random email lottery drawing in the UK for Five million Quid.

[Greji]

Who killed JFK? For a slight nominal fee.....

[Taro Toporific]

New Kind of Spam 'Un-Training' Filters?
Slashdot /Wednesday August 09, @12:53PM
..... the Wall Street Journal is reporting that email in-boxes are under a new kind of spam attack. This new spam has confused many people due to its lack of advertising, viruses, or request for personal information. One popular theory is that these innocuous blocks of text, often drawn from popular literature, are being used to "un-train" spam filters to allow more malicious spam through in the future.

[(1VB)freels]

SPAM,SPAM,SPAM,SPAM,SPAM,SPAM,SPAM,SPAM,SPAM,SPAM,SPAM,SPAM,SPAM,SPAM,SPAM,SPAM,SPAM,SPAM,SPAM,SPAM!!!!!!!!!

[GomiGirl]

I just hate spammers so much.. will this scourge never end?

[kurohinge1]

I just hate spammers so much.. will this scourge never end?

A star like the Sun has about 11 billion years of life before the white dwarf stage. It has already gone through 4.5 billion years so that leaves about 6.5 billion years give or take a few hundred million! . . . more

If we don't get off this rock before then, the spamming will stop.

Until then, VIVA LA SPAM FILTER!

]http://www.carforums.net/images/smilies/spj_upload/diespam.gif[/IMG]

[kurohinge1]

And while you wait, here's a little game:

[url=torturegame.emailsherpa.com/]

Torture a Spammer[/url]

[Mulboyne]

Yomiuri: English-language e-mails spamming mobile phones

A large volume of English-language junk e-mails marketing male impotence drugs has been sent to domestic mobile phones from overseas since late last month. According to the Internal Affairs and Communications Ministry, unsolicited e-mails have been sent to mobile phones in Japanese before, but this is the first confirmed instance of English-language junk e-mails. Softbank Corp., which runs the Vodafone cell phone service, on Tuesday introduced a system that enables users to block unsolicited e-mails and is urging its mobile phone users to change the settings on their mobile phones to use the system. NTT DoCoMo, Inc. and KDDI Corp., which runs the au and Tu-ka services, respectively, also are examining measures to counter English-language junk e-mails. According to Softbank, several versions of English-language e-mails tout male impotence drugs. If a user accesses the address on the e-mail, a page is displayed listing the types of drugs and prices.

There have been no reports of phishing--in which personal information is falsely obtained--or fraudulent billing scams, but Softbank is warning customers not to access any sites advertised on junk e-mails. Softbank found that the e-mails are being sent from a number of locations including Asia, Europe and the United States. "We are certain these e-mails are being sent from an enormous number of computers," a Softbank spokesman said. The ministry's Telecommunications Consumer Policy Division said, "Someone overseas must be combining random characters and numerals to generate [possible] e-mail addresses, and indiscriminately sending e-mail to these addresses." Prof. Masakatsu Morii, of the Faculty of Engineering at Kobe University, said: "It's a wonder there weren't previous cases of junk e-mail being sent in English. I'm afraid that in the future, junk e-mails in many languages will find their way to Japanese mobile phones."

[cstaylor]

I just hate spammers so much.. will this scourge never end?

From Aliens: "I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure."