Fugu Chef Poisons Himself

[Mulboyne]

Mainichi: Fugu chef poisons self while practicing preparation
A licensed fugu chef was taken to hospital after poisoning himself with some fugu blowfish he had prepared himself, Tokyo Metropolitan Government officials said. The 34-year-old chef, employed at a restaurant in Shibuya-ku, was practicing preparation of a higan-fugu, after which he ate its poisonous liver in the mistaken belief that it was safe. Thirty minutes later, he began to experience limb paralysis and was rushed to hospital, after which he suffered labored breathing before finally losing consciousness. He is reportedly recovering. The chef received his fugu preparation license four or five years ago, and was not inexperienced. "It's an incredibly unusual case, and one we don't want repeated," said metropolitan government officials.

[Kanchou]

This seemed appropriate for such Epic Fail.

[alicia454]

Top 10 advantages to eating fugu:

1. you don't mangle up your corpse
2. you don't have to worry about your family getting sued into bankruptcy
3. you don't have to worry about hitting innocent bystanders on the way down
4. quicker and less hassle than joining a suicide club
5. less work and blade skills needed than performing seppuku
6. its tastier than cyanide
7. causes nervous system damage much faster than eating mercury poisoned whale blubber
8. you can enjoy a long drawn out suffocation death as a paralyzed cripple
9. frees up space on Tokyo's crowded trains
10. reduces the stupidity genes from the genetic pool

[Iraira]

This seemed appropriate for such Epic Fail.

I'd probably off myself, too, if I was forced to have a box of Tampax on the bathroom sink....see, ladies...you P-whip a guy so bad that he'll even try to off himself with an electric razor.

[CrankyBastard]

I'd probably off myself, too, if I was forced to have a box of Tampax on the bathroom sink....see, ladies...you P-whip a guy so bad that he'll even try to off himself with an electric razor.

A well trained eye, speaking from experience?

[sublight]

Too bad that they don't mention which restaurant he works at. Guess I'll have to give all the Shibuya shops a wide berth if that idiot's still working!

[Iraira]

[quote="CrankyBastard"]A well trained eye, speaking from experience?
]

True story and of course, I'm unable to provide any proof that it happened.

Well, this chick was house sitting at Bill Bixby's gf's place up in the Hollywood Hills. The place had a parrot which would sing, "Horray for Hollywood" now and then and eventually began screaming, "I want to die, kill me"...no doubt Bill's gf was kinda psycho. Had parties there every night for two weeks. Ended up destroying one wall and toasting part of the ceiling, but that's another story.
Anyway, one night, two periodical chicks sent me to Pink Dot Liquor on Sunset Blvd (maybe...fuck..20 years ago) to get them some tampons. I forgot the brand, (with wings or without), etc, immediately upon leaving the house. I pull into Pink Dot, I notice that there are a bunch of heshers on motorcycles vegging in front. I go in, I buy the super soaker uppers and start to leave. Turns out the heshers saw what I bought and began to chant "P-whipped". One of them was Vince Neil (Motley Crue).
Got back home, still red-faced, and the chicks blew up at me, "You fucking asshole, you got the wrong ones, go back and get such and such." I go back.
Vince and his buddies were still out in front and upon walking from the parking lot in back to the door, Vince lays into me, "P-Whipper got the wrong tampons...the whip has come down."
So, yeah, I'm a complete pussy and have industrial sized nightmares about Tampax coming out of every oriface.

Thanx for letting me unload that on the world...and fuck you Vince..."Live Wire" was your only decent song, bitch!

[kamome]

Well, this chick was house sitting at Bill Bixby's gf's place up in the Hollywood Hills.

You mean this Bill Bixby??!





Fucking awesome 70's/80's reference.

[xenomorph42]

True story and of course, I'm unable to provide any proof that it happened.

Well, this chick was house sitting at Bill Bixby's gf's place up in the Hollywood Hills. The place had a parrot which would sing, "Horray for Hollywood" now and then and eventually began screaming, "I want to die, kill me"...no doubt Bill's gf was kinda psycho. Had parties there every night for two weeks. Ended up destroying one wall and toasting part of the ceiling, but that's another story.
Anyway, one night, two periodical chicks sent me to Pink Dot Liquor on Sunset Blvd (maybe...fuck..20 years ago) to get them some tampons. I forgot the brand, (with wings or without), etc, immediately upon leaving the house. I pull into Pink Dot, I notice that there are a bunch of heshers on motorcycles vegging in front. I go in, I buy the super soaker uppers and start to leave. Turns out the heshers saw what I bought and began to chant "P-whipped". One of them was Vince Neil (Motley Crue).
Got back home, still red-faced, and the chicks blew up at me, "You fucking asshole, you got the wrong ones, go back and get such and such." I go back.
Vince and his buddies were still out in front and upon walking from the parking lot in back to the door, Vince lays into me, "P-Whipper got the wrong tampons...the whip has come down."
So, yeah, I'm a complete pussy and have industrial sized nightmares about Tampax coming out of every oriface.

Thanx for letting me unload that on the world...and fuck you Vince..."Live Wire" was your only decent song, bitch!

Dude, "Pink dot" You are seriously going back in time! Vince Neil??? I can't remember if the place is still there or not(usually always tried to stay away from Sunset-TOO MUCH HAIRSPRAY FOR ME)although, I do miss the House of Blues and heavily depressed to see Tower Records gone. Man the Good old days. And don't remind me of Vince and his minions!!!! I'm from San Dimas and I used to see those idiots quite frequently, though "Dr. Feelgood" was kinda cool. But yea, screw them!!!

[Behan]

True story and of course, I'm unable to provide any proof that it happened.

That was really funny, Iraira.

[Iraira]

That two week party was just too whack for words.
Bixby's gf hulked when she saw the damage. Shit, we bought spackle and used a Falco (Der Kommisar 12" dance remix) album cover as a backing to try to repair the hole in the wall that my ass caused when some drunk longhair thought I told the girl he was working on (the girl everyone was working on) that he threw her purse down the hillside, so he shoved me against the wall my ass went though (and at the time, it was a big ass). Of course I shoved him back against the adjacent wall, and his butt abutted against that wall, which was clearly made of a stronger material than the wall which my butt abutted through. Didn't escalate beyond that.
Bixby's gf had a real nice little convertible Benz, which we relentlessly borrowed. Learned something sad because of that car: (some) girls will look at you, flirt with you, etc., merely because of your car. How the car's front right tire got misaligned and ended up at a 45 degree angle is beyond me. Didn't try to fix that with a Falco album.
As I recall the girl who was actually doing the housesitting ended up going into rehab and became a Jesus Cripsy afterwards.

Great memories.

[DrP]

Weird story --- I thought the first thing a fugu chef learned was that the liver was the most poisonous part... Wasn't Pink Dot a delivery only back in the day?? I never recalled ever walking in to any of their stores - we'd just ask craft service to order subs and stuff - generally they'd get them from PD. I never hung with Bill - but spent some good times with Dr. Know.

[Iraira]

Weird story --- I thought the first thing a fugu chef learned was that the liver was the most poisonous part... Wasn't Pink Dot a delivery only back in the day?? I never recalled ever walking in to any of their stores - we'd just ask craft service to order subs and stuff - generally they'd get them from PD. I never hung with Bill - but spent some good times with Dr. Know.

PD had a very famous store on where LaCienga collides with Sunset. The grade down from Sunset is pure skater suicide.
Dr. Know....they were from Oxnard, right?

[DrP]

I know that store - but seldom ventured west of western. You're right , Brandon's from Oxnard.

[Iraira]

I know that store - but seldom ventured west of western. You're right , Brandon's from Oxnard.

That's right, "Courtship of Eddie's Father" Brandon Cruz.

[Mulboyne]

That's right, "Courtship of Eddie's Father" Brandon Cruz.

Much to my amazement, I know who you are talking about. I saw him take Jello Biafra's place when the Dead Kennedys controversially reformed. They played three nights at Club Phase in Takadanobaba.