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GomiGirl wrote:
On the flip side, there are some people who I speak to regularly who are excellent at using Japanese that I can easily understand as they are also conscious of vocab and idiom that are difficult for non-native Japanese speakers. There is also one guy in my office that I have been working with for a decade that still find very difficult to understand...
Adhesive wrote:When I'm with my father-in-law, we talk it up, about cars, work, women, etc., and I start feeling really really good about my Japanese ability, then my mom-in-law says something and I'm like WTF did she just say? My FiL is just really good at choosing his words carefully and speaking clearly. My MiL speaks as if I were some boy that grew up with her in her remote Japanese fishing village. Unlike the FiL, she's never had any instruction in a foreign language, so she just doesn't seem to comprehend that certain words and phrases will be lost on me.
Adhesive wrote:When I'm with my father-in-law, we talk it up, about cars, work, women, etc., and I start feeling really really good about my Japanese ability, then my mom-in-law says something and I'm like WTF did she just say? My FiL is just really good at choosing his words carefully and speaking clearly. My MiL speaks as if I were some boy that grew up with her in her remote Japanese fishing village. Unlike the FiL, she's never had any instruction in a foreign language, so she just doesn't seem to comprehend that certain words and phrases will be lost on me.
CrankyBastard wrote:To any FGs considering integrating, the definition of integrate is, "To meld with and become part of the dominant culture."
I stopped at melding with.
I don't know about the fat guy in kimono, he looks and sounds kinda creepy, but I don't knock Daniel Kahl for being just another FG making a few bucks here.
hurryharry wrote:...there is always another way...the 90-10 rule: 10% reality, 90% our interpretation of it...
Cyka UchuuJin wrote:oh come here, you cute little naive bastard and let me give you a cuddle and a biscuit.
Greji wrote:Hey, bring your cuddle an biscuit over here lady and I'll show ya my new etchings of famous recipes for Asakusa Borscht. Second door, 4th floor. Wear your black argyles.....
Ikemen-of-d00m wrote:I regret the title of this thread. I should have been something like "how to understand the Japanese way of thinking".
You have to make Japan adapt to what you mean by private and public life. Many foreigners arrive here and, understandably, want to "fit in" and generally make sacrifices and compromises in their life to reach that goal. That's OK if it is the life you want to live but I meet a lot of foreigners who suddenly realize they are playing a role rather than living their life. Japan is not a hostile place for you to live your life.
I worked for a Japanese company 20 years ago and I still remember vividly an American employee who arrived at 9:00am and left at 5:00pm every day. Everyone frowned on this and I thought I was morally superior to him by making myself available to go out with my bosses at all hours.
When I spoke to the guy, he said "I used to do what you did but I began to feel like the class clown. I also realized early on that I wasn't a candidate for promotion so I decided to set some rules for what I would and wouldn't do. It was very difficult for the first few months because I wasn't "fitting in" but, after a while, no-one was bothered." He reckoned the reason for that is that he had set his own routine and everyone came to understand what they could expect from him and what they couldn't.
Unpredictability can be one of the most heinous crimes against society in Japan. If you want private time away from work or study, then you have to seize it and make the people around you respect it.
nottu wrote:maybe the best route to a comfortable integration is a good dose of segregation
GomiGirl wrote:I think boundaries are the most important part of maintaining your mental health. Trying to and thinking you have succeeded in becoming integrated and then finding out you are not can be a very rude shock on the system. Sends people loopy. OR can lead to bitterness. Nobody who is not Japanese can ever be truly integrated so trying to is just an exercise in futility.
For example, in our house we don't feel like we are living in "JAPAN" rather that we are living in our own space that just happens to be located in Japan. This comes down to the way we decorate, the food we cook, the TV shows we watch. It makes dealing with some of the crappiness outside easier to segment and allows us to not let the challenges overwhelm the positives of living here.
IparryU wrote:word.
when I leave my place, i then realize that I am "back out there"...
i knew a guy or two who thought they were "integrated" but they were just lousy [SIZE="2"]bums that never really did anything[/SIZE] here for the 20+ years they been here.
GomiGirl wrote:I think boundaries are the most important part of maintaining your mental health. Trying to and thinking you have succeeded in becoming integrated and then finding out you are not can be a very rude shock on the system. Sends people loopy. OR can lead to bitterness. Nobody who is not Japanese can ever be truly integrated so trying to is just an exercise in futility.
For example, in our house we don't feel like we are living in "JAPAN" rather that we are living in our own space that just happens to be located in Japan. This comes down to the way we decorate, the food we cook, the TV shows we watch. It makes dealing with some of the crappiness outside easier to segment and allows us to not let the challenges overwhelm the positives of living here.
Thanatos' embalmed botfly wrote:http://www.petermacintosh.webs.com
Thanatos' embalmed botfly wrote:http://www.petermacintosh.webs.com
Mulboyne wrote:Until I saw FG Lurker's response above, I though that might just be a genuine link to his own page so didn't bother clicking on it. Now I'm very glad I did.
Mulboyne wrote:Until I saw FG Lurker's response above, I though that might just be a genuine link to his own page so didn't bother clicking on it. Now I'm very glad I did.
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