Outpatient assistance

[matsuki]

I just had a cyst the size of a golfball removed from the back of my neck yesterday. T'was one of the more shitty experiences in my life....halfway through the doc was sighing and saying he broke it and while he'd try to get it all out, he couldn't make any promises. I think Greji on speed, after 3 nights of drinking might have steadier hands than this guy did....not to mention the waterfall of blood, puss, etc. that came raining down on my hair and face during the procedure. This was all followed by 20 mins of occasional sharp pain and lots of slicing noises. Then they stuffed my hole with medicated gauze and sent me on my way, telling me the shitty smell from my own rotting flesh in my hair can't be washed out because it might get the bandages wet and I can't wash my upper body at all for a few days without assistance. So...I gave those orders a big fuck yooooo and got my hair cut (hair washed without getting my bandages wet though it was pretty painful and grossed out all the lemurs to see the stitched up hole) and did my best to shower/sponge bath without fucking up the bandages. (it's not easy...feel like I'm in a neck brace with someone tugging the skin back) Luckily, I have a lemur coming over tonight to play nurse but I was just wondering if there is any kind of assistance available for this type of shit? I know Greji would just send me down to the local soapland but I'm thinking more along the lines of something insurance might cover.

[yanpa]

No idea, but ouch, and my sympathies.

[Screwed-down Hairdo]

I was just wondering if there is any kind of assistance available for this type of shit?

Sorry, mate, cysters are doing it for themselves...


Sillyassly, depending on your income, you may qualify. The easiest way is to call your hospital, talk to the social worker, tell her your situation and ask what deals are available. Follow up on that advice.

Call City Hall and ask for assistance, but they'll probably think you're some sort of weirdo and won't be able to help you.

I don't fancy your chances because you're young, employed and your case isn't life-threatening. Oh, and did I mention that you're also gaijin? (just kidding, that doesn't really count).

Otherwise, I suggest your best assistance in weather like this is to crack open a tinny or two and wait for your lemur.

[GomiGirl]

Why as an outpatient?

Sorry about all this - sounds horrid - but Japanese medial really does rely on the assistance provided by family members for nursing care. You might get some assistance from the ward office, but surely the doctor would be the best place to ask about this.

[GomiGirl]

I was just wondering if there is any kind of assistance available for this type of shit?

Sorry, mate, cysters are doing it for themselves...

That is a cross between a yellow card groaner and a ROFLFAO.

"You must spread some reputation.... "

[matsuki]

LOL, my current lemur-care is fine for now. Not fun to have a chunk of neck missing (well, it's filled with festering gauze that I have to have the doc change daily) but I can get by with lemur sponge bathes. I was more worried about having something more serious down the road and not having any kind of assistance.

GG - It's usually outpatient though the doc said if had realized how big it was, he might have wanted to put me under and keep me there for a day.

Youtube is full of [s]wonderful[/s] horrible videos of this procedure to inform frighten you before going under the knife....

[Screwed-down Hairdo]

LOL, my current lemur-care is fine for now. Not fun to have a chunk of neck missing (well, it's filled with festering gauze that I have to have the doc change daily) but I can get by with lemur sponge bathes. I was more worried about having something more serious down the road and not having any kind of assistance.

Burn that bridge when get to it, mate.

Lay back and bask in the joy of having someone else wipe the pus off your neck...

[GomiGirl]

Right before lunch - thanks mate.

[matsuki]

Right before lunch - thanks mate.

Believe me, the video doesn't do the smell justice

[GomiGirl]

Right before lunch - thanks mate.

Believe me, the video doesn't do the smell justice

I suggest not sharing that little tidbit with your lemurs if you ever hope to get laid again.

[GomiGirl]

Just read this on Wikipedia...

Causes

Blocked sebaceous glands, swollen hair follicles,[3] and excessive testosterone production will cause such cysts.

[matsuki]

Right before lunch - thanks mate.

Believe me, the video doesn't do the smell justice

I suggest not sharing that little tidbit with your lemurs if you ever hope to get laid again.

Yeah, but the smell is gone now. Just a nasty stitched up wound stuffed with festering gauze

Just read this on Wikipedia...

Causes

Blocked sebaceous glands, swollen hair follicles,[3] and excessive testosterone production will cause such cysts.

Uh oh....

[GomiGirl]

But given that it was sourced from Wikipedia it MUST be correct right?

[Taro Toporific]

... Japanese medical really does rely on the assistance provided by family members for nursing care. You might get some assistance from the ward office, but surely the doctor would be the best place to ask about this.

From time to time, my doctors have contacted the ward to have an LPN come to my house to administer an IP drip and help out in general. It was covered by national health insurance, and using my gaijin superpowers it turned out to be more fun than Nurse cosplay cum Akiba maid service.
If in the future you need really need help (and have a little gaijin charm), I've found the "helper-san" or visiting public health nurse waaay too much fun.

[matsuki]

But given that it was sourced from Wikipedia it MUST be correct right?

I'd love to argue but based on personal experience....

... Japanese medical really does rely on the assistance provided by family members for nursing care. You might get some assistance from the ward office, but surely the doctor would be the best place to ask about this.

From time to time, my doctors have contacted the ward to have an LPN come to my house to administer an IP drip and help out in general. It was covered by national health insurance, and using my gaijin superpowers it turned out to be more fun than Nurse cosplay cum Akiba maid service.
If in the future you need really need help (and have a little gaijin charm), I've found the "helper-san" or visiting public health nurse waaay too much fun.

I banged the help-san than comes to the office (connected to their home) for the bosses parents. 26yo and way too cute to be working that kind of job...though not the smartest cookie and can't put down the cancer sticks. I had to cut if off after she introduced me to her bf...poor guy is probably going to marry her too.

[Screwed-down Hairdo]

I'm getting old...I enjoyed this thread more when it was about pus and Wikipedia than when it got onto fucking...

[IparryU]

I'm getting old...I enjoyed this thread more when it was about pus and Wikipedia than when it got onto fucking...

in the same boat... but that is because i just got done looking at the NSFW page...

[Screwed-down Hairdo]

Choko, be grateful you've only got a cyst, mate....

http://abcnews.go.com/ad/introAd3.html?goback=http%3A%2F%2Fabcnews.go.com%2FHealth%2Ftexas-man-fractures-penis-taking-sex-supplement%2Fstory%3Fid%3D17106956

[Cyka UchuuJin]

Why did you let it get to golfball size to begin with???

[Coligny]

Why did you let it get to golfball size to begin with???

Re-read t3h first post...

I dun't know for th3 kid...

But I personnally never expect any intervention from a japanese doctor to be any better than this...

I'd rather go to the vet...

[Screwed-down Hairdo]

Why did you let it get to golfball size to begin with???

It's growth was very incystent...

[JAVGOD]

So thats how they make ginger paste.

[matsuki]

Why did you let it get to golfball size to begin with???

You could tell it was big before but the actual size wasn't so evident until it was removed. (and it was fucking gross! It looked like a golfball made of feta cheese ) It had been there for a few years but it was still soft and had shrunk several times so most docs said it's better to just wait and see if it dissipates naturally. That obviously wasn't happening and I would have had it removed regardless...but like I said, it's an experience I could do without

[cstaylor]

Why did you let it get to golfball size to begin with???

You could tell it was big before but the actual size wasn't so evident until it was removed. (and it was fucking gross! It looked like a golfball made of feta cheese ) It had been there for a few years but it was still soft and had shrunk several times so most docs said it's better to just wait and see if it dissipates naturally. That obviously wasn't happening and I would have had it removed regardless...but like I said, it's an experience I could do without

Sounds like another paean to American healthcare. No insurance = "just wait and see if you it disspates naturally"

[Screwed-down Hairdo]

Sounds like another paean to American healthcare. No insurance = "just wait and see if you it disspates naturally"

Hey, that's unfair. It really, really does work that way.

In the Untied States health system, anything can be cured...Naturally, after paying every cent you'll ever earn, as well as that ever earned by your descendants' descendants' descendants (but, as the average Merkin would say, "Y'all be fucked if I hand over any my munny to goddamned guvmint so they can use it to make billionaires pay more than a few percent tax.")

And if you don't have the money, well, that's why Merkins have the Second Mendment.

[matsuki]

Ehhhh, actually it was the J-docs that said this to me. (thought it's true for the most part...but at a certain point, in my case once it became infected, you just gotta remove the bitch) In the US, I probably would have had it removed much sooner.....and with much less taking my shirt off in front of a few hundred old peoplecaptive audience while being asked personal questions. We Japanese value privacy ....sure you do. That's why I know Mr. Nakamura over there hasn't yet shit today and Mrs. Okada over there is having some hormone problems.....

[Samurai_Jerk]

Ehhhh, actually it was the J-docs that said this to me. (thought it's true for the most part...but at a certain point, in my case once it became infected, you just gotta remove the bitch) In the US, I probably would have had it removed much sooner.....and with much less taking my shirt off in front of a few hundred old peoplecaptive audience while being asked personal questions. We Japanese value privacy ....sure you do. That's why I know Mr. Nakamura over there hasn't yet shit today and Mrs. Okada over there is having some hormone problems.....

I wonder if you'd have had to whip your dick out if it'd been an STD.

[matsuki]

Ehhhh, actually it was the J-docs that said this to me. (thought it's true for the most part...but at a certain point, in my case once it became infected, you just gotta remove the bitch) In the US, I probably would have had it removed much sooner.....and with much less taking my shirt off in front of a few hundred old peoplecaptive audience while being asked personal questions. We Japanese value privacy ....sure you do. That's why I know Mr. Nakamura over there hasn't yet shit today and Mrs. Okada over there is having some hormone problems.....

I wonder if you'd have had to whip your dick out if it'd been an STD.

Did that back in 2009, was told I had herpes (despite telling the doc it's just a rash from abrasion ) and when I asked if he was going to test for herpes, he refused and said there was no doubt. He even turned to my lemur and said no sex until it clears up A couple hours later I was at another hospital getting tested, medication for my rash, and the female (don't get excited...she was old) doctor was laughing (not at the barbarian cock) and telling me the previous doctor was cluless. Tests confirmed it....have to imagine in the US that could have been a pretty nasty lawsuit but alas TIJ

I should also mention this morning the doc spent 5 mins explaining how I need a friend to apply fresh medication and bandages to the area daily...yet he walked out and let the nurse finish bandaging me. I pay, get to work and look at the paperwork only to realize there is no prescription there and my next appt isn't til thursday. I called to ask where the prescription is and get told there is none needed....so either they want me to leave a festering bandage on for 4 days straight or the doc fucked up and is too prideful to simply admit it. WTF....

[Cyka UchuuJin]

Ehhhh, actually it was the J-docs that said this to me. (thought it's true for the most part...but at a certain point, in my case once it became infected, you just gotta remove the bitch) In the US, I probably would have had it removed much sooner.....and with much less taking my shirt off in front of a few hundred old peoplecaptive audience while being asked personal questions. We Japanese value privacy ....sure you do. That's why I know Mr. Nakamura over there hasn't yet shit today and Mrs. Okada over there is having some hormone problems.....

I wonder if you'd have had to whip your dick out if it'd been an STD.

Did that back in 2009, was told I had herpes (despite telling the doc it's just a rash from abrasion ) and when I asked if he was going to test for herpes, he refused and said there was no doubt. He even turned to my lemur and said no sex until it clears up A couple hours later I was at another hospital getting tested, medication for my rash, and the female (don't get excited...she was old) doctor was laughing (not at the barbarian cock) and telling me the previous doctor was cluless. Tests confirmed it....have to imagine in the US that could have been a pretty nasty lawsuit but alas TIJ

I should also mention this morning the doc spent 5 mins explaining how I need a friend to apply fresh medication and bandages to the area daily...yet he walked out and let the nurse finish bandaging me. I pay, get to work and look at the paperwork only to realize there is no prescription there and my next appt isn't til thursday. I called to ask where the prescription is and get told there is none needed....so either they want me to leave a festering bandage on for 4 days straight or the doc fucked up and is too prideful to simply admit it. WTF....

I'm not sure that you need a script to get ointment and bandages. I have bought antiseptic/antibiotic cream and bandages at the chemists there. If he's not got you on an oral antibiotic, then take yourself off to the local K-Port and get sorted.

[Screwed-down Hairdo]

I called to ask where the prescription is and get told there is none needed....so either they want me to leave a festering bandage on for 4 days straight or the doc fucked up and is too prideful to simply admit it. WTF....

Just let it fester...the zombie apocalypse is coming anyway...