1 year anniversary of death

[Akisa]

August 26th is the 1 year anniversary of my fiancee's grandmothers death. She wanted to be in Japan for this, but that is not possible. What can I do on this day to help her mourn? Should I send her flowers? Her grandmother's name was Kiku san, so I want to send her flowers. What is the American name for the Kiku hana? Any other ideas would be appreciated. Thanks alot.

[Big Booger]

http://raider.muc.edu/re/WorldReligions/how_to_celebrate.htm

http://nm.essortment.com/japanesefestiva_raus.htm

http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Island/6653/qanda.htm


Should help you. I think the first year is the biggest celebration for the death of a loved one/relative. I think it is very important.

[cstaylor]

August 26th is the 1 year anniversary of my fiancee's grandmothers death. She wanted to be in Japan for this, but that is not possible. What can I do on this day to help her mourn? Should I send her flowers?

Was she close to the grandmother? Why can't she go back for Obon (that's the important time, not the actual death date)?

You could go with her to your local Buddhist temple during Obon, but I think I'd leave it up to her if I were you... and if you do go, don't blow out the incense with your breath (one of my many Japan faux pas).

[Bongo]

[quote="&quot"]August 26th is the 1 year anniversary of my fiancee's grandmothers death. She wanted to be in Japan for this, but that is not possible.

Just dig her up and bring her here for the party!
I'm sure the Japanese won't mind as they like any excuse for a piss up.

[kamome]

Just dig her up and bring her here for the party!
I'm sure the Japanese won't mind as they like any excuse for a piss up.

Yikes. Not the classiest of jokes that could have been made.

[Big Booger]

August 26th is the 1 year anniversary of my fiancee's grandmothers death. She wanted to be in Japan for this, but that is not possible.

Just dig her up and bring her here for the party!
I'm sure the Japanese won't mind as they like any excuse for a piss up.

That's just rude.

[Taro Toporific]

August 26th is the 1 year anniversary of my fiancee's grandmothers death. She wanted to be in Japan for this, but that is not possible.

Mrs Taro and I talked about this. We think you send one of those official "Dead Envelopes" with money and a short note (English is ok really). Flowers are sort of risk to order from overseas and they already will be provided for at the service and dinner.

Make sure NOT to give too much money ---3,000 or 5,000yen is fine-- since the guests at the 1-year post funeral will be not giving all that much. If you give too much, they will rack their brain figuring out a way to send a "return" present back to you.

Use clean bank notes or look new (ironed) and the envelope should have your name on the front and the amount on the back. The special "koden envelopes called "bushugi bukuro" will have black and white ribbons or wire) but you could use the most expensive white envelope you can buy and be sure to wrap the 3,000 or 5,000yen in the finest white bond paper. The "koden envelope should be sent FEDEX or EMS with a nice white outer envelop---Yes with the FEDEX envelope that might mean 3 or 5 layers. (Do not use "4" of anything, 4 layers. 4 envelopes, four 1,000yen notes, four stamps because that's bad juujuu.)

Personally, I hand-make my own envelopes and wrappings for these occasions---I ain't half bad since packaging design is one of the things I do at work from time to time---Japanese folks cut me slack if I goof up cause I'm a FG. See all the instructions here http://dmail.foo.ne.jp/manners/choji.html

[AssKissinger]

[Taro Toporific]

[AssKissinger]

I'm not recommending sending flowers. I really don't know anything about it. With that kind of thing I just do whatever my wife tells me to do.

[Taro Toporific]

I'm not recommending sending flowers. I really don't know anything about it. With that kind of thing I just do whatever my wife tells me to do.

It's turns out that this a big faux pas with chrysanthemums for the funeral market.....almost every week some yokel brings in 16-petal Imperial chrysanthemums to the farmers' coop market for a funeral use. Sheeee-it, nobody in Japan knows proper Japanese manners anymore. The FTD system is available in Japan but the results can be very dodgy on international orders.

[Taro Toporific]

[indent]Family Reunion
Kuro5hin.org, by BJH, Sun Aug 06, 2006 at 02:33:29 PM EST
My wife's grandfather passed away last Tuesday at the age of 92; yesterday was his funeral.
First, a little background. Japanese funerals are generally conducted according to Buddhist custom (although Shinto and Christian funerals are not unknown). In most cases, the funeral is divided into the tsuya, usually held at night and attended by close family, and the kokubetsushiki, which is the funeral proper and attended by family, friends and acquaintances. However, this is not a hard and fast rule; attending the tsuya of someone you've never met - the relative of a friend, for example - is not uncommon these days...more....[/indent]