Love Japanese Style

[Pencilslave]

For those of you who are dating or are married to a Japanese person:

How is your relationship affected by cultural differences?

[kurohinge1]

... How is your relationship affected by cultural differences?

Positively



"Variety is the spice of life"

[maraboutslim]

For those of you who are dating or are married to a Japanese person:

How is your relationship affected by cultural differences?

What, are you writing a thesis or something? You realize that unless one has been married to a large enough sample (say, 5000 people from their own culture, and 5000 people from japanese culture), we won't be able to know if our experiences are something unique to the person we happen to be married to or if they fit into a pattern of behavior that is cultural, right? Therefore, no comment.

[NeoNecroNomiCron]

The title is a bit misleading.

As "Love Japanese Style" there is no Japanese word for love.

It should be called.

"I berry rike you Japanese Styre"

[Bongo]

[Pencilslave]

For those of you who are dating or are married to a Japanese person:

How is your relationship affected by cultural differences?

What, are you writing a thesis or something? You realize that unless one has been married to a large enough sample (say, 5000 people from their own culture, and 5000 people from japanese culture), we won't be able to know if our experiences are something unique to the person we happen to be married to or if they fit into a pattern of behavior that is cultural, right? Therefore, no comment.

I meant no offense. I was just curious as to such attitudes as the wife or husband's role in the relationship,raising children, what arguments might arise because of cultural differences, that sort of thing.

[Skankster]

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I have never really found much difference other than personal traits I dont like.

sometimes Japanese live-in girls broil fish and it drives me nuts (stinkin up the house) when they do it in the house
but other than that the cultural differences are things that you can adjust yourself to.

[Big Booger]

It's going to be different, even amongst Japanese people themselves, so of course you'd expect a difference among Japanese and non-Japanese.

Religion, politics, and cultural norms/mores are totally different. But if you are a strong couple, it's something to benefit from.

It's good to be a complement of the other.. as opposed to rivals. It helps work out those cultural differences. IE: One is happy, the other feeds off the happy energy. One is hardworking, the other gets motivated to be hardworking...

Arguments that might arise:
Religion: should you teach your kids, what do you teach your kids.
Discipline: How should it be handled, who should handle it, to what extent (physical, verbal, etc)
Education: Should your kids go to college, satisfied with whatever they choose, Japan or another country?
Manners: Cursing, rudeness (*rude in Japan, is not rude elsewhere, and viceversa), slurping food & chomping food (where I am from we try to eat as quietly as possible...), spitting?, outdoor urination (crazy ojiisans here)..., and so on
Pacifistic vs. Aggressive: Sometimes you might find your girl one way or the other.. too weak or too strong..

A lot of arguments will happen if you have kids, and you should discuss this in great detail. Not having kids would solve many issues.

Money, Money, Money.. Finances tend to come up a lot depending on your personal financial situation. I'm a spender, my wife is a saver.. her family saves, mine spends and so on...

Where to live in the future?

Rule of family: Egalitarian, Matriarchal, Patriarchal, etc..

Family Business: In-laws can make or break your relationship.. I highly suggest not living with the in-laws.. can cause major issues... *otousan tells you how to live your life, okaasan tells you how to treat your wife.. and so on..

Be prepared for instability.. depending on your partner's occupation, there might be some stress related mental illness.. (sure this happens everywhere, but I have seen quite a few cases here in Japan where mixed couples have major issues from both sides.. )

Food can be an issue.. if you hate Japanese food, and your partner loves it.. or vice versa..

Friendships: Can be a big problem.. if your partner has whorish friends who drag your partner out at night, to booty hump on the upchuck... well, it could be a problem. Friends can cause issues.. you've been warned. J-girls from what I gather if they are close, tend to give lots and lots and lots and lots of advice.. if your partner is weak, that advice can cause major issues. They also compare each other sometimes too.

Cleanliness: Many working J-women are slobs.. I know they are busy, but eww... I've seen my wife's sisters places and they are nasty.. I've also seen several of my wife's friend's places.. roach heaven. And if you are nasty and your J-girl is a clean freak, it can be an issue. *happens to everyone really.

Many of these apply all over.. but some are specific.

If I think of something else I'll post it.

[ahochaude]

For those of you who are dating or are married to a Japanese person:

How is your relationship affected by cultural differences?

In my marriage, it's fine. (so far)
Cultural difference is not really present. My wife and I get along really well. The only thing is we don't see eye to eye on the political level. But then again, we don't really talk politics.

She also wants to move back and live in Japan someday. I have no college degree, so chances are I can't support her or myself if we were to move there. I'm doing the 3 job deal here, so that's what's keeping us on our feet for the moment. She has no college degree either, so if we move to Japan, we'll most likely end up living at her parents' place and that's something I don't want to do. And I made it clear to her.
I'd love to live in Japan, but at this point, it's not a reality. Rather a fantasy.
*sigh*
Regardless of all that, she still married me. So I guess she's ready and prepared to live in Hawaii for the rest of her life. At least, I hope so.

[Maths Dude]

I have no college degree

You can just make up a College Degree, they won't even check it. I know of a few Gaijin who did this. Also, you wife is Japanese so you can get a spousal visa. Once you get that you'll land a gig no problems. Hell one american who worked for us couldn't even friggin spell! Like he spelled totally phonetically. Yet he still took home 250,000 yen. We just told him not to write shit on the white board he he [/quote]