Discreet sex options

[Caustic Saint]

As for my being nameless and faceless, my name's Drew and my photo has shown up on here a few times, and it's on my website as well (which is linked to via that button at the bottom of my post).

Like the vids section Caustic That party seemed to be a real blast

Indeed it was! That was the Lost in Translation party at Taro's place during my visit (from Korea) last January. Damn, has it been almost a year since then....?

(Oh, I'm in the grey sweater if you need to know which FG I am.)

[jingai]

Im not taking this conversation as carte blanche to go waste away our lifes savings on hookers......just every once in a while

Right. And nothing says "I love you" like giving your spouse an STD. Of course everything's different in Japan.

[jim katta]

[Neo-Rio]

Whoever said that we all pay for pussy is right (unless you're smart)

A much older guy told me: "When a woman looks at a man, she sees either one of two people. A lover, or someone to take advantage of."
My experience had told me that he was pretty much correct.

Even my 80 year old grandmother told me that all women want is money and to be careful!

For many poor, broke, stupid, and abused women in Japan... there is no love for men. They quite honestly don't mind trading "love" for money. Japan is an expensive place to live, and when the working hours are hard, the people unhappy and unfriendly, and the sex industry is more-or-less accepted, it must generate a particular mindset in most of the women here.... that being dumb stupid and pretty can be pretty lucrative, and that frees you up to do other things. That's smart business sense when you think about it.
"Love" is a commoditiy that exists only for their own survival. You don't bite the hand that feeds you.

Every guy has "paid" for sex at one point. Either in wasting money buying gifts on a date, teaching English to a girl here who wanted to get a better job or marry a gaijin, "renting" your place out so your girlfriend could stay over whenever she wanted, or by being her taxi driver with your flashy wheels. Either that, or we pay for them in time and losses to personal freedom (sometimes through marriage).

You can only ever hope to minimise the costs to yourself (do yourself a favour and hook up with a rich woman).

Seriously though, Japanese women don't mind if you cheat on them to score some random bimbo. Just don't stop caring for them or take their source of income away (cause that's what they're really scared of losing), and you should be ok.

But you should really even have married.... men have nothing to gain out of marriage that a normal relationship with a woman won't suffice.

[Mulboyne]

I remember catching one of those lawyer programmes a few years back which featured an intriguing Japanese law that anyone planning on cheating on their wife may want to be aware of.
It seems that if a husband admits to an affair, or a wife can prove an affair, she can legally attach a portion of his income. The amount is determined by a formula taking into account the number of partners and number of encounters.
The law was designed to protect a wife against the "second wife" problem where a husband may have fathered additional children or may be about to. It allows the wife a form of in-marriage alimony which allows her to safeguard family resources for her children. In many families, the husband hands over the wage packet to the wife anyway but she may decide there is a risk of money getting siphoned off and get the courts to have it paid to her directly.
This may be a reason why some wives seem ambivalent about affairs.

[Neo-Rio]

Well this is exactly why feminists are up in arms it seems.

Women WANT education, equal work for equal pay, etc. so that they don't have to be forced into situations where they give up their body and mind (pretend to love a guy they may not want and get married) in order to SURVIVE.
Now of course not all women marry to get cash, but quite a lot do.

I only stick to dating wealthy women, or women who are at least happy with their place in life. Not so that I can get their money (I have enough), but so I know that they actually want to be with me for me and aren't trying to manipulate me for funding.

[bejiita]

There has also been something of a backlash against the traditional concept of marriage. Increasing numbers of couples are refusing to formally register their union with civil authorities. Some choose not to have children, and some live separately even after marriage.

What would you look for when choosing a spouse? Answers given by women: Income 45% - Ranked #3

Main link at:
http://web-japan.org/nipponia/nipponia9/sp01.html

[kamome]

Neo and I have differing opinions, but I think a wingman can be very helpful, IF the dude is cool and complements your personality. Going out alone can be a real drag, but I've had fun doing that too. Just depends on how you feel on a particular night and what you're looking for.

You seemed to be managing yourself pretty well anytime I saw you in Heartland.

The crowd is to old for me I like the 18-20 group.

Yeah, like I said, I've also had fun going out alone. But I usually prefer to go out with at least one cool dude that I can trust. By the way, I think you only saw me once alone at Heartland, right?

[kamome]

Paying for sex in Japan is a total waste of money--why would you pay for something you can get for free with just a little bit of effort?

Not true, I've personally known at least two decent looking guys with great jobs in Tokyo who went on one year dry spells.

Two words: no game.

[AssKissinger]

Two words: no game.

I may be a Michael Moore look-alike but I ain't never gone for a year with no pussy (in Japan).

[Samurai_Jerk]

Paying for sex in Japan is a total waste of money--why would you pay for something you can get for free with just a little bit of effort?

Not true, I've personally known at least two decent looking guys with great jobs in Tokyo who went on one year dry spells.

Two words: no game.

So true. An ugly guy with game will get more pussy than a pretty boy any day. The only thing women respond to more than money is confidence.

[ramchop]

Folks, I'm serious, here's not the right place to offend and pimp each other.

That's all some people come here for.

While I'm not planning to succumb to temptation I do find it interesting that the people with the most sanctimonious views are from those not in a long term relationship.

One month shy of the 7-year itch.

[nampa666]

....... I do find it interesting that the people with the most sanctimonious views are from those not in a long term relationship.

interesting....but I suspect the lucky boys were castrated sometime between their bar mitzvah and getting their drivers license

[Naniwan Kid]

This subject came up in my home a few weeks ago, and I was surprised to hear my J-wife also say that she probably wouldn't care if I slept with someone else. It would get me off her back (no pun intended) and it wouldn't stop the flow of cash... I think women should be careful when they wake up a dragon, though...

[nampa666]

[ahochaude]

This subject came up in my home a few weeks ago, and I was surprised to hear my J-wife also say that she probably wouldn't care if I slept with someone else.

You're a lucky guy.
God, that sounds nice. I wish my J-wife felt the same.

[jim katta]

This subject came up in my home a few weeks ago, and I was surprised to hear my J-wife also say that she probably wouldn't care if I slept with someone else. It would get me off her back (no pun intended) and it wouldn't stop the flow of cash... I think women should be careful when they wake up a dragon, though..

dude! you 'have' to elaborate, tell us what's up. does she not like sex? is she just that progressive that it's all good? is she saying that she's allowed to get some on the side too? seriously, how does that work, sounds like a sweet deal (dead serious questions, absolutely no sarcasm).

[kamome]

...sounds like a sweet deal

Or maybe it should be a major source of concern? Saying she doesn't care is like saying their marriage ain't worth shit. I always thought that a plea for fidelity is another way of expressing one's love for another.

[Naniwan Kid]

Elaborate, huh?

About a month ago my J-wife and her J-friend and I were talking about a friend who had been accused of sexual harrassment. The subject moved to cheating and her friend said "Would you be mad if he (me) slept with the woman [that my friend had been accuse of sleeping with that we all know]" and she said "Not really, I would mad if raped her or did a crime, though," she replied. I didn't push it, but her J-friend said "Really? You don't care?" and she said "I am so busy [with our young one] that I couldn't get mad. It's normal." Keep in mind I am sitting right there.

I have had chances in past and never took them, but it is odd seeing the world now with this information in hand. I am not sure if it is liberating, or restricting. I never didn't cheat before because of any moral reason, I was just afraid of my wife.

The truth is that I have an oppurtunity next week....a 75% sure thing ...and it has got me thinking.

[GargoyleTS]

Talk WITH your wife. Directly. Point blank. ASK if she really meant that, if she really felt that way, blah blah blah.

Ask what her idea of you sleeping with another woman really is.

Is it a side-relationship? or is it a soapland trip?

Basically, is she through with you sexually, or does she just want a break. As far as I understand things, the relationship road is a rocky path. you have modern-minded gals who want monogamy, and you have old-fashioned gals who expect infidelity as part of the relationship and you never know what side of the coin you're looking at until you say "I Do".

So communicate! It's Western Civilisation's only true contribution to relationships. That and Cops for all the bad examples they showcase.

Oh yeah, tell her what it means to you too. How relationships are supposed to work in your culture and that this has confused you. I don't know if she does the cicular-speaking thing and avoids confrontation, so it may take you a while to get a straight answer. Or you could have it in 5 minutes and be on your way to a soapland this afternoon!

[cstaylor]

This subject came up in my home a few weeks ago, and I was surprised to hear my J-wife also say that she probably wouldn't care if I slept with someone else.

Note the probably.

[FG Lurker]

This subject came up in my home a few weeks ago, and I was surprised to hear my J-wife also say that she probably wouldn't care if I slept with someone else.

Note the probably.

Yes, that is a very good point. Discussing the abstract chance that something might happen is very different to dealing with the reality of it actually taking place.

[Naniwan Kid]

[Blah Pete]

(Her friend is is kind of a "yellow cab", to use an old term.)

Phone number????

[Naniwan Kid]

Phone number????

She has been with 3 or 4 of my buds, but can never settle down... Since she is my wife's best friend I have never really looked twice, but she is a "surfer type", wears too much make-up, though.

[Samurai_Jerk]

Let's see. Your wife says it'd be OK for you to bang other chicks and her best friend is a whore. Sounds like trouble.

[Naniwan Kid]

Let's see. Your wife says it'd be OK for you to bang other chicks and her best friend is a whore. Sounds like trouble.

Ha ha! Well, even a dog knows not to shit where it eats. Plus she has a problem most Japanese don't....too much gomi in the trunk.

[vir-jin]

Paying for sex in Japan is a total waste of money--why would you pay for something you can get for free with just a little bit of effort?

Not true, I've personally known at least two decent looking guys with great jobs in Tokyo who went on one year dry spells.

Two words: no game.

So true. An ugly guy with game will get more pussy than a pretty boy any day. The only thing women respond to more than money is confidence.

To talk in the words of my beloved exBF -professional sport fucker since he started to have sex and way older than me- you give her a base and leave the choice to her. No games. Speaking from my own experience in sporting activities- the certainly fastest way to get where you want.

He was really advanced in hiding things, I caught him in 3 hours, although there were 5000 miles between us. I didn't need any computing skills for that If your wife knows you, she is going to reckognize immediately what was going on. Especially Japanese women, they are trained to read between the lines.

I think truth and freedom support society. If she wants you to not tell her about it,... I would never accept to be cheated like that. Truth may hurt but hiding things where she is guessing sounds to me like really big shit.

I read all the posts and thought there should be at least one woman to point out her view. The truth lies in between I guess

[Naniwan Kid]

I guess it is ok if you have an "understanding", but that has to be exactly that: an understanding. Both parties should know exactly what the other does and agree to it. Women are getting themselvs in murky waters when they say something is "OK, but I just never want to know about it."
It's dangerous when you are setting up situations when you are not only giving permission to your partner to lie, but forcing him to do it.

And then well, what happens when she finds out about it? Is it cheating if he got permission? Is it lying if she told him to?

Maybe these are questions beter left unanswered....

[Marvin Feltcher]

Sorry!