Married? No problem, J-girls don't mind

[Jack]

Advice needed.

I just thought to give you an update since I got married and the girls I left behind. Please tell what to do not to get their hopes up.

Since we were planning our wedding many months ago, I put an end to the many relationships I had by announcing to the girls that I was getting married. Of course all of them got upset and sad that I had picked one girl and not them. I got e-mails and phone calls saying "delete my address" or "I never want to talk to you again". That was fine with me, but guess what? Every single one of them is asking me to be her friend again and suddenly they don't mind that I am married.

I am so shocked that I don't even know where to start. The e-mails I am getting are like "if I lived near you I would like to be your lover". Or "even though you are married I would like to see you again". The saddest one was the one I got today from a 22-year old girl I had picked up in Odaiba over a year ago and we had consumated our relationship that same afternoon in a love hotel in Shibuya. Just seen her once and then kept in touch by e-mail. Today she sent me an e-mail out of the blue saying she misses and I copy part of the message: " <name deleted> ha hontou ni kekkon shitano?..." She is absolutely gorgeous with a body to die for. I don't want to hurt her or the others. Should I reply to their e-mails or what? Should I just ignore them hoping that they will get over it? I knew breaking up with J-girls was difficult but this is too much. I've got 9 girls who are after me. And while I am flattered, I am having a great life and my wife is the best.

[GuyJean]

Should I reply to their e-mails or what? Should I just ignore them hoping that they will get over it?

A man of your age, experience, and wisdom from multiple failed marriages doesn't know the answers to these questions? I thought learning was part of growing..

I knew breaking up with J-girls was difficult but this is too much. I've got 9 girls who are after me. And while I am flattered, I am having a great life and my wife is the best.

Sounds rough, dude. You might have to call em', fuck em', then get divorced.... AGAIN!!

IMO, you made a choice to hurt one girl LESS than the others. She's called your wife.

GJ

[CAkOS]

Sounds rough, dude. You might have to call em', fuck em', then get divorced.... AGAIN!!

Well I guess GuyJean is right...

[Caustic Saint]

IMO, you made a choice to hurt one girl LESS than the others. She's called your wife.

That line is pure genius, and wonderfully sage advice.

Some people may take a "when in Rome" attitude towards infidelity, since it is more "tolerated" (for lack of a better word) in Japanese culture - but I don't think you should. You picked one woman and married her. That means you get to sleep with only her, for as long as you're married. If you wanted to keep playing the field you shouldn't have gotten married.

[jim katta]

I have a very serious piece of advice for you that will help you in your days to come and allow you to remain true to yourself.

Send me their email addresses, I'll take care of them real nice for ya.

[GomiGirl]

You have been married how long?

Reading between the lines you are looking for approval to keep in contact with these girls? Why - well obviously you know it is wrong but want to keep your options open anyway.

What sort of man are you to even ask these sorts of questions?

All I can say is that every action has consequences. Be an adult, do what you like, when you like but don't whinge when your actions come back to haunt you - either in reality with your wife finding out, you get a stalker or your own conscience will eat you away from your insides.

You have the responsibilty over your actions and choices.... it is up to you whether or not you choose to accept it.

[AssKissinger]

I suspect that your post is just an excuse to brag about all the cooter you can still get. If that's the case just come out and say it. You'll get flamed for it but I'll respect your candor (or your bullshit). But let me ask you this: Is your wife really family to you? To me, my wife is family. Sounds obvious, I know. But I lose a lot of respect for a man if he turns his back on his family. Some people don't have family or don't have good family but for me family is all I got. You didn't write that you're ready to step out on your wife so I'm not going to accuse you of that. But I will say this: Cheating on your wife is as lowly as stealing cash out of your brother's wallet. It's a betrayal of family. I think it speaks poorly of you that you even receive these kind of emails because it shows that these women think of you as the kind of man who might cheat on his wife. My advice, reply to each email by saying that you're sorry but you no longer want to keep in touch. Stand by your woman, man. Someday, when your old and dying from cancer (instead of AIDS) and your wife is caring for you, if you should go first, you'll be glad you did the right thing.

my wife is the best.

That really answers your question, doesn't it?

[GomiGirl]

But I lose a lot of respect for a man if he turns his back on his family. Some people don't have family or don't have good family but for me family is all I got.

Amen!! brother AssKissinger.. Family and health.. what more does a person need?

(maybe just chocolate every now and then... )

Good friends come in a very close second.

[American Oyaji]

Ignore them and change your e-mail address.

because as long as they can contact you, you will be tempted.

[progaijin]

Man, I gotta agree, change your email address. Really, I listened to my parents fight for 20 years, and you want to invite that into your life? It sounds like a personal issue, and regardless of whether this fine site is the place to delve, maybe it's just going to be a weight you have to carry. Not to mention, if married guys didn't lead 'J-girls' on, maybe people would have a better opinion of this country.

[canman]

Are you for real. I mean do you really think people want to hear about this kind of garbage. Are you going to listen to the advice you get here, or is this just an opportunity for you to tell us that even though you are married you still have it. You are beating them off with a stick.
I really enjoy this site, and while I don't write a lot, I like to check it out and see what others have to say. But I must admit Jack, when you write I just can't understand you. Now I should take Gomigirls advice and just hit the ignore button, which I will be doing from now on.

[Andocrates]

If you want to be Peter Pan all your life go ahead, if you can't see the inherent rightness in being a responsible humane being, if your vows meant so little too you, if this woman you married means so little to you, then by all means go screw around and get divorced again. Your future children deserve a better father then you.

Quite frankly you disgust me.

[f3likx]

hey, uh, jack, you're a dipshit, eh?
Also, if I remember, you are the fugliest motherfucker (probably literally, from all your stories) I've ever seen who had a low enough IQ to post a pic of himself.

[AssKissinger]

If you want to be Peter Pan all your life go ahead, if you can't see the inherent rightness in being a responsible humane being, if your vows meant so little too you, if this woman you married means so little to you, then by all means go screw around and get divorced again. Your future children deserve a better father then you.

Quite frankly you disgust me.

Jesus Andy, smoke a joint! His question was about how to get rid of these girls...

I just thought to give you an update since I got married and the girls I left behind. Please tell what to do not to get their hopes up

My post was a bit preachy but yours is really over the top.

[AssKissinger]

hey, uh, jack, you're a dipshit, eh?
Also, if I remember, you are the fugliest motherfucker (probably literally, from all your stories) I've ever seen who had a low enough IQ to post a pic of himself.

Good Lord!

[Caustic Saint]

hey, uh, jack, you're a dipshit, eh?
Also, if I remember, you are the fugliest motherfucker (probably literally, from all your stories) I've ever seen who had a low enough IQ to post a pic of himself.

Good Lord!

[sing]can you feel the love tonight.....[/sing]

[canman]

Perhaps Jack was looking for advice, but he did it in a rather strange way. I have come to repect some of the members on this board and have from time to time asked them for their help and advice. But I have always done so in the private message method. I feel there are a lot of intelligent and interesting people who can help us, as we all have some problem that needs addressing. But doing it like this in an open forum just seems over the top, kind of like showing off. I'm not saying that he can't do it, but I just don't agree with it. And he must be prepared for the answers that come either helpful or personal attacks. Remember as you said he asked for advice, so he is getting it.

[maraboutslim]

Marriage can come in more than one style. If this dude has promised his wife fidelity, then he is obligated to stay away from other women. If they have no such arrangement, then have fun. Though the status quo christian types will scoff, there are many successful marriages of the second sort.

-Slim

[Big Booger]

When you buy the cow, you can't go around milking other heifers.. you gotta stick with your Besty, milk her and dream of the other cows while doing it, if you really can't get the other holsteins out of your mind.

And be wary of mixing with another bull's herd.. that is when trouble usually arouses... especially if that bull has bigger balls than yours.

[kamome]

[double post]

[kamome]

But I must admit Jack, when you write I just can't understand you.

All you need to do to understand him is to look directly above his avatar.

[blackcat]

you sound like a bid enough loser to go on Jerry Springer

[Mini_B]

Hey JACKASS! Just do it. You've already made up your mind...and the FG's are behind you 100%.

Besides...your wife is probably doing the same thing behind your back with her EX GAIJIN BF's. Ahhh, now there's a thought. How's that make you feel? Kinda like a swift kick to the testicles, huh?

Why'd you get married anyway dumbass?

[Robato]

Hey JACKASS! Just do it. You've already made up your mind...and the FG's are behind you 100%.

Besides...your wife is probably doing the same thing behind your back with her EX GAIJIN BF's. Ahhh, now there's a thought. How's that make you feel? Kinda like a swift kick to the testicles, huh?

Why'd you get married anyway dumbass?

Its funny cause usally this seems to be the attitude of almost all of the FG in other threads that I have read. Although I am new here......

I dont understand how you guys could want trouble even if you believe every single woman in Japan is a whore. My fiance and I are best friends as well as lovers.....I have no doubt that she would not cheat on me, nor would I cheat on her.

When I am in Japan I see a lot of cute girls, some which even flirt very heavy with me.....but by no means do I think they are whores and would never take advantage of the fact that they might find me attractive. I have been living with my fiance for 4 years. (getting married on the 24th of next month)

I just find this thread kinda humorous as people are so hard set that you should stick by your wife...etc. Yet in another thread this same people are talking about how big thier penis is compaired to a Japanese and that they fuck someones wife.

Anyway, I love my fiance and wouldnt do anything to hurt her....besides catching something to bring home isnt a fair deal is it? You should at least respect her enough for that even if you dont love her.

Even only talking to this girls is trouble enough....why get yourself deeper? You even said that you consicrated a relationship with a girl by having sex with her on the same day and havent talked to her in ages....yet you dont want to hurt her feelings?? Why should you give a shit about her feelings? Im sure she can find another FG to fuck on the same day she met him....there are plenty of FG in line to dip their dinger. You are probably better off worrying about your wife.

As someone said earlier, make a new email account and never check this one again. Whats the point in keeping in touch with these girls? Why worry about letting them down softly when they fucked you in just one day? Dont you see how silly that sounds?

Good luck not catching a desease, giving it to your wife and fucking up your family if you have kids.

[GridReaper]

It is alright to be tempted to go play with chicks, but we all agree you'd be a jerk to actually go through with it or even place yourself in opportunities to play with your ex's.

Geez, sex with J-girls is over-rated to begin with. Why are we still talking about this?

[maraboutslim]

Why don't you say it this way: "If I was to 'cheat' on my wife/girlfriend, I'd be a jerk". That's much better than saying that anyone who has contact with someone they are not married to is a jerk. As I've said before, there are many types of relationships and not all are based on the premise that one owns their partner and they are therefore not free to be with others.

I mean, humans are not designed to be monogomous. So where does that insistance on exclusivity get you? It gets people divorced and their kids suffer all because they can't deal with the idea that their spouse played with someone else. You can't "trust them" anymore. Is your ego that big that you don't want anything to do with the woman/man you love simply because they found someone else they took a brief fancy too? What the hell is that all about?

Hey, if that's the game you really want to play, and your spouse agrees, then fine, stick to it. But it's not the only way you can do things and I suspect not the way that leads to the happiest marriage and happiest life.

-Slim

[AssKissinger]

Geez, sex with J-girls is over-rated to begin with.

Yeah, and Jimi Hendrix couldn't play the guitar.

[Big Booger]

I thought this thread died...

[Caustic Saint]

I thought this thread died...

It would seem the recent (and welcome) influx of new posters has brought it (and a couple other topics) back to life. Small price to pay for getting new voices on the board.

[Taro Toporific]

... recent (and welcome) influx of new posters has brought it (and a couple other topics) back to life...

Yes, welcome to the Monkey House folks.

Back to topic:
I've PMed Jack about this already but.... the Fundamental Policy that the entire nation of Japan run upon at socio-econo-poli-psycho levels, both macro-&-micro is: Don't ask--Don't tell.:wink: